Friday, February 15, 2008

The Day After

So Valentine's Day was kind of sucky - ha and not for all the cliche reasons, either, LOL. Not like "Oh I'm single and everyone around me has someone and is getting presents" or anything - though Jamaal, my love, did send flowers, but to the wrong office. They are sadly long gone and I was very bitter. I mean the poor guy tried, absolutely, but I was bitter that they went somewhere that was pretty much the point of no return. I handled it not maturely either, LOL, sighing as I saw women carrying their roses and proFlowers boxes on the commuter rail, thinking about some jerk down the street who has MY FLOWERS on their desk. RRR". Sigh. Though I must be grateful, Grandma and Grandpa did send me $10 in a card, which is totally awesome. I guess a lot of people might scoff at $10 in this day and age, but to me money is money, and 10 bucks is gonna cover my eyebrow wax today, so I was grateful.

Anywho, so Valentine's Day blew, but I couldn't exact fill this space with yet another "I hate my teacher/my life/my school/my job post" because that would suck. Instead, I am going to give you something positive about a professor. I'm taking Plant Physiology (snooze, I know!) and the professor is quirky as hell. I love it. I find him hilarious, and not in the "oh you're a plant biologist who is so nerdy and awkward that stuff you don't mean to be funny actually is" This guy is legit funny as hell. So funny I started writing down quotes. Here you go (and if you had a crap Valentine's Day or just a crap Thursday in general, hopefully this'll be funny):

"Sure we could probably control the planet!!! Push it towards the sun, then pull it away....then we'll make a critical mistake and throw it off it's axis and go spinning out of control through space.....BYE!! See you out at Alpha Centauri!!!!!" *dead silence from class* "We-ell. OK. Got a little too excited about that."

"The water moves through the apoplast, but is then hindered by the Casparian strip. Or band. You know some people say band.....this is Valentine's Day, we will say STRIP!!"

"So trees, actually, they expand at night. Many did not believe this, but Native Americans, THEY knew!!! Tie an enemy to a tree at daytime and they'll be dead by night. The tree kills them... slowly...botanically"

"So you should put your Valentine Flowers (boooooo) in a 50% water 50% sprite solution because flowers love the sugar. I mean you could use that stuff they give you. Hey? Have you ever tasted those food crystals they give you with cut flowers? You know, cut the packet open, lick your finger, dip it in the powder and taste it? You know, the old cocaine trick? Yeah, well that powder taste like sweet tarts!!! Cause of the sugar!!!"

Or maybe the slightly dangerous blue dye?

I decided yesterday that regardless of the grade I receive in this class, even if it's the one that keeps me from graduating, this professor is going to get a rave review!!

Happy Friday peeps.

No comments: