Recycling Sneakers

Our yard sale didn't go too well a few weekends ago. We didn't advertise in the paper and one of our best placed signs got stolen. B*tches! I did make $25 in the deal (though poor Amy only made $3, and I got crap for it from my father "That's all you could make for your sister?!" Uhhh, sorry?) and thanked my lucky stars that I was $25 richer than when I started. Cool.

Of course the lack of sales meant that I had a lot of junk left over, including a stack of text books. Then there was a pile of stuff that wasn't exactly sellable but "too good" for the dump. This included some clothing and shoes. I put aside the clothing for Interfaith Services, now that we have an in with them (we gave them Catherine's clothes, all cleaned, ironed, and folded, and many of them designer!). The books went on half.com and I've already sold 2! It makes me happy to think that other students out there will be reusing my books and did NOT get cheated by the resellers at their college/university bookstores...plus it makes me more money than I ever could have reselling them to Tufts, so everyone is happy in the end, plus it's suuuper easy to sell on half.com. Watch, I'm probably missing some critical step, LOL, which is why I think it's easy. So far all I've had to do after listing something is pack it and mail it, so it is seemingly easy!

The shoes presented a special conundrum. I packaged them up intending to send them to the Nike recycling program. I've sent other shoes there and love the idea that they not only get recycled, but they're turned into surfaces for running tracks, and the thought of kids getting an opportunity to experience track and field is very special to me, especially after spending 4 years of high school running track and cross country. I consulted Nike's Let Me Play website for the address and started having second thoughts.....the website features some really crusty old looking shoes. While it's great to have that option for shoes that would otherwise be destined for the trash, my two pairs were still more than usable. The reason I was getting rid of them was not because I had worn through the sole or because they were falling apart - it's because the shoes had been causing me some toe and heel pain (I know waaaah waaaaah) and were no longer comfortable for me to run in. I kept them around for kicks (ha ha) but since buying a new pair of running shoes I noticed I don't wear the old ones - obviously I run in the new ones and for walking around here and there I tend to use my hiking sneaks (though they now have a bloody heel too, I just noticed I was bleeding through my sock ugh).

ANYWAY Long and short of it is - my sneakers were 'too nice' to be ground down into a track surface. I figured someone somewhere might still be able to use them. So I googled "recycling sneakers" and got this gem of a website: Run The Planet It looks like it may be useful to me in many ways, not just for recycling resources. Their page of recycling resources was the highlight though, and I was very happy to see quite an extensive and worldwide list of places that could use my shoes. Of course I gravitated to one located in Kenya, Shoe4Africa. The requirements to donate to Shoe4Africa were "gently used" running shoes with 100+miles left in them (because I am a running slacker I certainly had more than 100 miles left in mine, no problem) and I had to mail them to Eldoret myself. Ha ha like that's an issue. I actually have a stack of customs forms I keep in my car because I'm mailing sh*t to Kenya so often. I was happy to pack them up and send them off. Of course this meant I had to haul ass to the post office (only a half mile away) get caught up in a conversation with the postman about how I really shouldn't be writing < on my customs forms because who KNOWS how this could be interpreted overseas (nevermind that I received mail like this all the time, and send mail like this ALL THE TIME) and blah blah blah did I have anything liquid, hazardous, fragile or perishable and did I want to add insurance to my $24.40 package? Noooope. Just send. Hopefully in a few weeks time they'll be a Kenya running in my shoes :) I know that my size is good for men and women over there as most of my shoes were given to my friend Otieno who was quite excited about wearing them, lol, so I am just hoping these help someone out.

I also took the time to explore the Shoe4Africa website a bit more to learn about their hospital project. It's really extraordinary and they are definitely on my donation list (though this may take a bit as I just sent some cash to Haiti with a friend doing a well (as in the hole in the ground for water) project). This is particularly close to my heart as well. When I was in Oloitokitok in 2003, we visited a hospital, and it is really beyond description. Watch the video on Shoe4Africa and then imagine something worse - if you even can. Imagine broken windows, no sheets on the bed, and many severly burned children. That was Oloitokitok. Eldoret does not seem like a far cry from those conditions, and the peeps at Shoe4Africa are determined to change that by building a state of the art children's hospital. How wonderful is that? Building a hospital in Kenya is right on the top of my "when I make it big" list - you know, the list of stuff I'm gonna do if I hit the lottery, though I have considered writing to Oprah to tell her my sad sad story of visiting the children's ward in Oloitokitok and haven't ruled that option out yet, but should I hit the lottery, the first thing I'm gonna do is email Shoe4Africa and ask them how they organized themselves and to whom they contracted the work because the need for even the most basic healthcare necessities is just massive in Kenya and throughout the whole of Africa I am sure.

Well I never meant for this to be such a rambling post, just a word on this great charity I found out about today. Ah well. Think about donating if you have gently used running shoes or support their hospital project! Watch the video on the website! The cause is most certainly a fantastic one.

Finally, some selfish drama -I'm considering applying for a huge promotion at work.....word got out....now everyone's talking as if I'm going to get hired, saying things like "I'm so happy Al is interested, we just have to convince her to take some public health courses." On the one hand, I'm happy people are talking as if this is going to work when I haven't even formally applied. On the other, I am so effing tired of going to school the thought of taking epidemiology and biostatistics makes me absolutely cringe. Then again, if they insist, I could use my bargaining skills to convince them to let me take intro only courses and audit them. On the other hand, I am tired just thinking about it. Ugh. What to do. I suppose I'll have to wait and see at the interview. I'm talking to another project manager tomorrow and the MD who's the principal investigator on my study now to get osme perspective. The current project manager insisted I'd have to take Biostats and Epi to move into this position, but I wouldn't exactly take her word for it, plus she is epidemiology obsessed to the point of ridiculousness (she always talks about how she saved her samples when a hurricane hit Houston and flooded MD Anderson. Big Whoop) so I'm not sure what she's telling me is totally necessary. Again, guess I'll have to wait and see, but honestly, if they really want me to take those classes and in the meantime I get a call from one of the environmental job openings - I might just bolt. I am so done with school.
The end.

And ONE LAST THING

PENULTIMATE
It means second to last.
It does not mean last.
It does not mean "the ultimate" as in the most incredible or the best

Dear Internet World and Other People Everywhere - Please start using penultimate correctly.
Thanksbye.

For Now

This and This. Consider your lady bits when you go to the polls - and excuse any humor, this is actually really really serious business. This actually reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend about a week and a half ago - a point Flotsam brings up - as if choosing abortion would ever be the "easy" way out. Sad.

Also, I went to a fabulous and beautiful heartfelt wedding this weekend. Just lovely, pictures/descriptions forthcoming, but for now:

there was a drunken cousin there (not mine!) who cornered Jamaal and me, told us to vote McCain/Palin because "just because I make $350,000 a year doesn't mean I'm not middle class and Obama's gonna tax the hell out of me" and then made us justify why we were both voting for Obama (um...how about point #1: you make 9x what I make and Jamaal and I would have to combine and then double our joint income to even come close to a tax increase under the Obama plan). While I must say I respect her blatant honesty as opposed to the people who won't come out with their real reason for voting one way or the other - ie "Sarah Palin is just so lovely" "John McCain is a maverick" "Obama lacks experience" or even the pro-Obama folk who are just like "da dee dum dum dum he's a democrat - he is, therefore I vote" (which is great cause it's a vote for Obama, but couldn't you at least come up with a more interesting line of reason?) Anywho, I wonder if drunk cousin Sxxxxx, as a mother of three, would have kept up her argument had she known this stance. Of course given that she didn't even recognize me the next day, I'm thinking she wouldn't have remembered the conversation anyways.

How Could I Not Know This?!

I am attending the last wedding of '08 this weekend. I say it with some relief, I admit, because the wedding frenzy took a lot out of me. I have, however, had a 3 month break since the last wedding and am ready to trip the light fantastic once again. ha ha ha I did just say that. I have a cute little dress for the cocktail party, cute dress for the wedding, shoes, bag, everything - except the gift isn't finished. Uuugh.

Yep, the blanket I pulled an all-nighter for - NOT done. boohoo. I think I can pull it off. I hope. Meanwhile, I'm supposed to be contemplating a design for a 12x12 white square. I am to bring it to the ladies tea on Friday where it will be sewn into a quilt for the bride. Don't get me wrong, I adore this idea, it's so fantastic and it gives me the warm fuzzies to think of the bride and groom cuddling (G RATED CUDDLING) under the quilt we so lovingly designed and put together. The timing, however, has been CRAP because I've been slaving to finish my knitted project.

I also just had a mental block. I don't embroider - never really tried. My sister was smart and chose a wedding cross stitch pattern that fit a 12x12 square, and while I am a cross stitch pro, I didn't want to steal her idea....so I was lost as to what to do.....a crafter, on a raft, drifting alone in the middle of the creativity sea.

ha ha ha. Finally I decided, after much much googling, to just purchase an embroidery book that may help my crafter's block. I had wanted Doodle Stitching anyways (I asked for that and some other craft books last Christmas, but didn't prioritize them and got one I only kinda wanted. Not that I'm not grateful because I AM, but you know, I had an excuse at least). I busted out my amazon gift certificate and ordered that baby, and rushed the shipping. Excellent. When the book arrived I was even more pleased with my purchase. Patterns abound! Stitch tutorials! Great patterns! I found one and modified it a bit to fit the wedding theme. It's simple but modern and very sweet - originally it was just a wee squirrel and some trees, but I modified to include more trees and flowers and another squirrel facing the first with a heart floating above the pair. I chose colors last night and hauled the project to the office where I hoped I'd fit in some early morning crafting, worried about my time management and the fact that the square needs to be done by noon-ish tomorrow.

Imagine my surprise as I sat at my desk, began stitching, and found the project to be not only easy and enjoyable, but also relaxing. I had traced the design onto fabric with pencil - very low tech, as I originally made an iron-on transfer but abandoned that plan for something a bit simpler. I decided to start with the squirrels and heart since they were the same stitch, most detailed and I expected them to be a challenge. In about 30 minutes, I was done! I plan to resume stitchery on the commuter rail tonight, my fears about not finishing in time now pushed aside. Here's a view of my progress:

Yeah, the squirrels are totally a different size and maybe the heart is just a wee bit wonky, but you know what? I love it. It's cute and fun and kind of funny because the bride is uber skinny - think size 0 skinny, but you have to love her because she's not anorexic skinny and eats tons of food....ok maybe this is why you shouldn't like her? Anyways, it's kind of an appropriate joke because the proportions here are somewhat similar to real life. Hopefully people will make the connection and not be like 'why are the squirrels two different sizes?' LOL not that it would make me feel bad.

Sigh. Best get back to work - enjoy the weekend, it's nearly here!

Just Learned

So sometimes I am paranoid about my platelet count. When it breaks 500 I worry, even though I have been assured and reassured again and again and again that 1. nothing is wrong with me 2. it is not even that high 3. it is good for all the patients at the cancer hospital because I am not only HLA-typed but also give a double dose every time I go in, sometimes a triple. I can't help it though, because if you break 500 you have to have your counts called in to the big hospital across the street. It makes me skiddish.

So today my counts were 530, an all-time day of donation high. I started to sweat a bit. Nevermind that my mother lived for years with a platelet count of 700+ and only after hormonal shifts has it normalized and not a blessed thing was ever wrong with her and today she is perfectly healthy - and that a quite reasonable explanation for my elevated count is my mother's elevated count. Forget the fact that my mother's hematologist said that doctors tend not to get worked up if you have no other symptoms or weird counts and just high platelets as long as they are under a million or so. Oh no, let's not be rational. Let's freak out. Let's think we're predisposed to some blood disorder, leukemia or some yet undiscovered platelet malfunction. LET'S PANIC!!!

Of course there is the wonder of google. I googled query regarding genetics and platelet count. I googled platelet counts and birth control, and then I stumbled upon one comment on a medical forum citing a high platelet count due to low grade anemia! So let's do a roundup here
1. Genetic Predisposition due to a parent's high platelet count
CHECK
2. Use of oral contraceptives, which can elevate a platelet count
CHECK
3. A tendency towards low grade anemia
CHECK (my Hgb has been in the 12's and sometimes even the 13's for the most part with regular use of vitamins and spirulina, but occasionally I'll go in after a few weeks of staying up late and eating literally all carbs, fat and sugar and my Hgb will have tanked to 11.8 or something)

So there are three very reasonable and incredibly benign explanations for my high platelets. I am like the poster child for naturally high, nothing to worry about but awesome to donate platelets.

Yet why do I keep freaking out? Sigh.
Anyways, after this day of falling asleep at desks and panicking while attached to a large machine drawing out my blood and sending it back in, I am off to meet my sister at the nail salon. Pedicure it is!

Just Stop Crafting

So I pulled a near all-nighter to make sufficient headway on the wedding afghan I am knitting. I popped one of my favorite, though rather outdated, miniseries in the tv and went to it to 3:30 in the morning, when I finally succumbed to sleep.

I think it was probably the worst possible thing I could have done, WORSE than not finishing the gift (the wedding is on Saturday). Right now I seem to be having pretty significant trouble keeping my head upright...I almost tumbled headfirst right into my keyboard. I'm counting down the hours until I am released (6 hours 5 minutes) from the prison of cancer research. I have platelets to cut up my day, but I am seriously concerned about falling asleep on the gurney!

I think I might legit need to go on a bit of a crafting hiatus, for real this time. Because pulling all-nighters out of college is soooo wrong. Ok, off to nap.

Finally!

I have long been searching for an in-depth critique of the presidential candidates' view on Africa, from policy to trade to "fixing" problems. Leave it to AllAfrica to provide exactly what I've been looking for. So far I've only read the arguments for each candidate, but plan to do some more in-depth reading tomorrow. I had to switch to Obama after page 1 of the pro-McCain article talked about how great Republicans are and how George W. visited Uganda, Nigeria, blah blah blah. Damn lot of good that did everyone.

Now most of you know I tend to be rather bipartisan when it comes to dealing with Africa, in that if you do something good for Africa/Africans, I will tend to be supportive of that action, but if you are useless, I probably will not like you. I will never ever forgive Bill Clinton for Rwanda, and he is akin to God to some people in this country, but I truly feel that his lack of action, despite whatever his intentions MAY HAVE BEEN will forever overshadow any good he did the world. I know it's harsh, but that's how I feel, and no apology, no humanitarian mission, nothing will ever make me feel differently about the situation. I think after W. leaves office many of us will look back and remember all the crap he did and look at his inaction in the Darfur situation and will be much quicker to lay the blame on W because he's been a lousy president than we ever did on Big Willy because people "loved" him and he was so "great." I guess I judge harshly, and I judge based on what I think is important and know that I am biased in the grand scale of "what is important" but there you have it.

I think that our next president will have to address problems in Africa, from Ethiopia's drought to Congo's war to Zimbabwe's inflation to Kenya's startling post-election instability and of course, the devastating AIDS crisis. Each candidate seems to have a plan, and I can only hope they stand by it. I will say that the Bush administration's AIDS action plan on paper seemed quite brilliant, but other situations presented themselves and that got put on the back burner. I'm not saying that we didn't need to deal with other stuff first by any means, but it would be nice if the president and his staff could stay on task and get some of this stuff done, or at least lay a plan and a beginning to some of the issues. Ultimately I don't think the US could solve these problems single-handedly (obviously, duh) but we have so much power, and it'd be great to see it channeled into a positive means for a change.

Anywho. I will continue to do my bit and still formulate my plan on how I'm going to save the world. Cause I'm totally going to do it. Thought I forgot, eh? No way. I'm saving the world. It might take me til an ancient and decrepit age to do it, but someone's got to, and I've decided that that someone is me. I'll let Obama help though ;)

The Good One

The Good One, originally uploaded by crosby_allison.

Ok, so I was editing some pics on flickr and notice that this is a pretty damn good picture. That's all. I'm off to the ICA (for the very first time, I am embarrassed to say)

Le Bored

I have finished my work for the day. Now it IS 2:20, but I did get here at 6:50 this morning, so having essentially 30 minutes to mess around is not so bad - sometimes I am left with hours to fill. Work hours.

Of course the one day I could depart at my usual 3:20pm with the satisfying feeling of having accomplished something real, I'm meeting my friend. I am looking forward to it, but honestly resisted requesting a rain check about 5 times this morning because she doesn't get out of work til 5pm. I will probably leave here at 4:30 to meet her at her office but still...2 damn hours to kill.

I have been reading the NY Times, taking particular care to weed through the Africa section. It's decent, but should probably start reading AllAfrica to really get into meatier issues. I have also been going to sites like Bed Bath and Beyond and Williams Sonoma to try and find cool things to either 1. register for when the time comes (in about 18 months but whatev) and 2. to suggest for Christmas should someone (cough cough grandma) call me on the phone and demand to know what I want. Usually I say "nothing" but this induces fits of rage from Grandma, so I try to have at least something to tell her. Of course in the past I have told her something and she has responded with "that's dumb." Like rainboots, for example - who doesn't need rainboots??! I told her that last year and she sniffed and said "I'm not getting you rainboots" as if I asked her to get me, oh I dunno, a piece of elephant dung. Whatev, Grandma!

I've been trying to plan my holiday giving as well. I am not one to rush the season, I mean we haven't even had Halloween and there's still my favorite of all holidays, Thanksgiving, to get through, but I do like to plan out these things because it helps me budget more effectively. I've got nothing though. No ideas really, not even for Jamaal....I have something in mind for Amy, but it's really only because she suggested it. So yeah. Brainstorming there.

Ugh, I just made myself sleepy with this boring ass post. I think I'm gonna hop over to CVS and buy some ramen (heavvvvvven) or a BLT because I have really wanted one ALL DAY....but I don't know if you can get one at subway...I'll have to find out!

Underwears

On a lighter note, I am at work at my now usual early morning hour. It's kind of obscene leaving from work while the stars are still in the sky, but I'm dealing with it, because at this moment it is what makes work bearable. I have a guaranteed window of nearly two hours, sometimes more, before my coworkers get here and being alone in the office is positively glorious.

This is for several reasons: I mess around doing whatever I want for two solid hours, then do serious work for six. I know this makes me sound like a slacker, but I really do only have about six hours of work to complete when I have no patients to abstract (today I have one eligible for entry - hurrah!). I also get time to observe hilarity - this morning a taxi driver, a bus driver and the BWH loading dock coordinator got in a fight right below my office window. The bus was swerving around an 18-wheeler with its flashers on and a taxi came right at it. True, the bus is supposed to yield to the obstruction, but when the two vehicles came head to head, neither one of them would yield, so they came to rest within inches of one another, the drivers got out, started going at it. That was funny, but then the added hilarity came when the traffic guy decided he had had enough, went up to the taxi driver and was like "enough, you're pissing me off, move your car............MOVE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ooook. That worked.

I'm also finding time to do a lot of personal research - like how to start an etsy shop, or how to throw the best yard sale ever. It's been a worthy investment of my time. I also decided to do a huge zazzle update. I was thinking that it'd be really lovely to make some pretty stamps out of selections from my "portfolio" of nature photography. This was fueled by the forced placement of the fugliest stamp ever on a letter yesterday, a letter that had to go out with said fugly stamp because it was time-sensitive. I usually have my selection of zazzle stamps and some decent 1 cent stamps (because I bought a TON of stamps when they were .41!) but I ran out yesterday and had to use fugly stamp. This led to the postage inspiration. Behold the wonder:
Speaking of online marketplaces, I've been 'troling CafePress for the perfect pair (ok why are they called pairs?) of Barack Obama underwear. Jamaal is horrified by this phenomenon, and I'm not sure if he's horrified because he's afraid he'll whip off my bottoms in a fit of romantic and lustful passion and be stymied by B-rocks jug adorning my nether regions or if he's afraid I'll be showing off my Obama underwear in public....he, and most people, are probably wondering why I don't have a t-shirt. Let me put it this way - since I purchased my Patriots thong, the Pats have won the Superbowl twice and since I purchased my Sox thong, the Sox have won the Series twice, and just won the ALDS. Sure it's not a failproof method, keeping your "team" as close as possible, showing your fandom goes so far as to embrace your lady bits, but I say HEY it's worth a TRY for sure.

So far I have it narrowed down to these 5 selections (technically 6, because I couldn't get the "I vote for That One" thong pic to load):
hmmmm. I love bitchery references. There's a magnet on the inside of my desk, where only I can see it that says "I'm not really a bitch, I just play one in your life." Basically this one is perfect, but maybe not Obama-y enough??

Barack my world. I mean I hope he does in fact "Rock the World." I love the dirty connotation too. Then again, the guy is married and has two kids - will I feel dirty wearing this one? (ok I know I am talking about underwear here, the dirtiness factor has already gone out the window)Green Obama. Very classy. Very understated. Nice but not exciting!


A more retro thong. I like the design. It's nice and girly. Not a cool as the bitches one though.

Ah yes, the classic Barack out with your......I love this, but will Jamaal think I'm trying to send him a message? Well. Knowing him he would be a perv, see the undies and be like "ok." LOL.

Sadly I did not find a thong featuring Obama's face that I found un-creepy, or if his face was not creepy, the thong featured a pic of Joe Biden. I mean he's fine and whatever, but his face needs to stay above the waist. That's that.

Sigh. Well my time of aloneness is quickly coming to an end. I'm gonna go put my now cold Pumpkin Spice Latte in the microwave, fire it up and chug it in an effort to stay conscious til my 6:30 meeting (ugggghhh) I'll keep you posted on the panty front.

Why We Are Sending Mumbua to School

"Prostitution Turns Child Exploitation

Sex for payment is so common in Nairobi, on the coast of Kenya, particularly in the vacation towns of Mombasa and Malindi, that the thirst for prostitution has led to the widespread exploitation of children. Kenya is now considered one of the worldwide hubs for child sex tourism.

In 2006, UNICEF released a report on child trafficking in Kenya revealing that up to 30 percent of teenage girls ages as young as 12 living on the coast were involved in casual sex for cash"

From this article.

MOUNTAIN DAY!!

In the grand old tradition the "most beautiful fall day" had been chosen by Smith College president Carol Christ - aaand it's MOUNTAIN DAY It is pretty much the best holiday EVER and I have many many fond Mountain Day memories: first year, Look Park, sophomore year, day by the pond, junior year ICE CREAM at that place with the water wheel, and senior year, me and my gallies taking the first years apple picking and accidentally picking the "experimental apples." If you know me you know I have kind of a crap memory for events and sh*t but I REMEMBER Mountain Day very clearly.

I still must have a sort of psychic connection with Mother Smith as I took the day off from work to prepare for girl party, but as I have to drive to the boonies to fetch the Subaru, I will be going out and enjoying the weather and such - I even plan to have a girl party jack-o-lantern, so I will be hitting up a farm stand too, very Mountain Day-appropriate. I am even sneaking over to a favorite cross stitch shop, tee hee. It shall be a good day indeed!

Even if you didn't have the foresight to take a day off for Mountain Day today, get out in that fresh air and take a deep breath. AHHHHHHH!!!!!

The Exciting News I Forgot!

AH! Can't believe I forgot the good news in all my bitchery!

My bandamate, basically roommate, from Kenya got married this spring and is now expecting a baby! AHHH! It's funny because I think a lot of other students weren't sure what to make of her, I mean, I wasn't at first, but after a while, we got along really well and I think she's just the most fantastic person. I bet a lot of our group would be shocked to find out she got married and is now having a baby given her personality (very very snarky, BUT hilarious) but I'm not surprised at all. She's great with kids and the professor's kids adored her. When we invited a preschool group over to our camp one of the little ones bonded with her right away and she spent the day carrying her around. I totally see her as being a great mom (she already is, she and her husband have two kids but this is her first biologically/their first together) and I am so excited for her :D It also gave us a reason to IM for the first time in a long time. I told her I needed her address so I could start sending her homemade baby stuff. I think she thought I was messing with her - but you all know me, I'm sooooo not :D
So yay for babies!

Hit Me Baby One More Time

Sometimes I have the distinct feeling that before I leave my place of employment to greener pastures (which may be a while since the pastures out yonder are dry and brittle, desiccated by a cold harsh wind....and roamed by wolves) that my coworker and I will get in a fist fight. Oh not because I'm going to haul off and punch her, though the desire is definitely there sometimes, but because she is just the kind of scrappy little biatch that would throw the first punch. I mean she practically assaulted me on her second day of work for pulling her keyboard out from under her desk - it was jammed up under there with all the keys pressed down making that "beep beep beep" noise, and there she is, kneeling on her desk hanging some sh*t on the wall going "what is that noise" So me, being antisocial and not wanting to encourage her with conversation reached over and pulled out the keyboard. She hops down off the desk and is in my face all "WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY COMPUTER" ugh.

Normally I do not take part in this sort of office drama. I'm indifferent to a majority of my coworkers, even the throat clearer, because she can be drowned out with headphones. I've strangely become pretty tight with another one, one who used to bother me a bit, because Anorexia has departed for her greener pastures (Nursing school!!) and we're the only two "originals" left. But this girl is, in a word, shifty. I can't tell if she's trying to be friendly or if she's backstabbing. She saunters down the hall peering into people's offices, she takes her headphones off when I take a phone call, puts them back on when I hang up. She likes to talk about how she "lived" in South Africa, and told R all about her semester abroad there to the point where SHE got so annoyed she pointed to the picture on my desk of me in Africa and said "Allison spent 4 months in Kenya you're not the ONLY ONE with that EXPERIENCE." Apparently she just turned up her nose. I guess I just don't know what to make of her and seeing her interact with other people in person and on the phone has made me wary. ha. and weary. If she were on the other side of the room, I think it would be a non-issue, but her close proximity is tiring, and I think that's what's going to lead to the confrontation. Her closeness, her propensity to slam sh*t around.

Of course my other coworker just blew her nose in the most foul manner. SO all in all I should be grateful.

And yeah, I do realize this is totally petty sh*t. I think the fact that we haven't seen the sun since Friday September 26th is starting to get to me, LOL.
I will stop bitching.....123 NOW!

Meeting My GOALS

Today I arrived at work before 7AM. It was awesome.
I'm not a morning person, so for me to call getting up at 5:15 to catch the 5:58 train "awesome" is pretty damn special. It is awesome though, awesome in the sense that I will now be home at 5, I will now have a life, I have cut down my morning commute by about 30 minutes - it used to be 1 hour and 40 minutes door to door, and now it is right around 1 hour 1o minute, give or take a few. I'll be able to go home and exercise, do some cardio AND pilates all before 7pm and then have time to get sh*t done....oh I dunno, like PAY BILLS! woohoo!

Also - recognition time...
My friend Rach read my Mboya post and PayPal'd me some school fees. Then EE asked when I was going to send out another mass appeal for funds. Don't worry, I WILL be doing that eventually, once we sort out Mumbua's education situation, something about which I need many more details. For now, I just want to say thank you to Rachel because this semester Mboya, Mumbua, and their entire family are going to get a significantly larger chunk of change than I'm usually able to send them. I can't even tell you how far this will be able to stretch - I sent my friend Salaash a mere $50 during the election crisis and he sent me an email back saying that he will be able to feed his entire family (wife and two kids) without any worry for more than a month. Knowing that Mboya will be able to provide for his family and his sister even while he is away working on the road crew fills me with a joy I can't even express in words. I will be floating on air when I go to Park Street to send the MoneyGram.....
...but only til I actually get to the counter, because I have an irrational fear of getting jumped when wiring money from the subway.....or maybe it's rational. I dunno!
At any rate, thank you so much Rach :) You rock!

I is for Incomplete!

So I didn't get through the whole To Do list. Oh well. I did a crapton more, which is what counts, and did do some things on the To Do. The whole problem was that preparing my cousin's clothes for charity took Amy and me FIVE hours. That was with both of us ironing, steaming, folding and de-cat-hair-ing. It was positively exhausting, but we finished the task in one day and rewarded ourselves with burritos. Yum yum yummmm.

Yesterday I received an email from Mboya. Remember my friend, the one whose sister I'm sending to school (with support from various friends and family)? I was relieved to hear from him because whenever a few months go by without word my dark and twisty brain comes up with all of these horrifying scenarios, from an accident at work (he's toughing it out on a road crew) to friggin' malaria. Ugh, my stupid brain and its tendency to overthink! Long and short of it is that Mumbua is earning her O-level certificate this month. Yeah, if you're American you're in the same boat as I was, I had no clue what the heck that meant, except that it's probably a good thing. Naturally I consulted google for further explanation, and came up with this fairly reasonable-sounding wikipedia article (and an aside - Mumbua is in a private school because as far as I know, secondary education is STILL not free in Kenya - bad for everyone who can't afford it, but in all likelihood good for Mumbua because she has me to help her financially and does not have to deal with the fallout of sudden free school, which in beginning in 2003 was a very serious challenge). It's been a frustrating ride at times, not really understanding the educational system and really just wanting to go over there on more than one occasion to sort things out - open a bank account in Mumbua's name, for example, or set some sort of payment plan with the principal so Mboya wouldn't be so beholden to me (of course given corruption etc, this may not have worked). Now I want to jet over there to figure out the rest of her education. She has to get a job, HAS. There is no choice about that, and preferably she needs a job that could not only support her but also support her family to a certain degree, supplement the income Mboya is bringing in plus the pittance they make farming. It seems that now Mumbua must take her "A" levels, and then the KCSE exam, which could potentially earn her a spot at a public university...at least I think. It's a muddle and I'm having a bit of a time making sense of it. I am hoping that Mumbua and Mboya have a plan together (and it's one I can afford :/) and all will be ok, but you can see how it's frustrating to be here trying to work things out, no? Of course, Mboya, or perhaps it's the Kenyan school system, has this incredible knack for asking for money at the worst possible time - in this case the same day my car goes to the shop for $500 worth of repairs. And of course, given the world economic situation, I have to send him more USD to get more KsH bang for his buck. Ah well, c'est la vie - if it weren't this, it would surely be something else. Besides, my ING fund was set up several years ago for emergencies and the car is an emergency. I also have an Mboya fund, which I cleaned out. On Thursday morning, he will have his money and Mumbua will be working to get her O levels. All is well for now.

Meanwhile back in suburbia......last night I meant to catch The Amazing Race, but missed it because I stupidly thought it was on at 9 instead of 8! Luckily I caught it on YouTube and was sucked in immediately, quickly deciding who I was going to root for and who I'd be counting down the minutes til their elimination. This should be an entertaining season no doubt, but as with the last couple of seasons, I always find myself shaking my head as soon as the teams leave the United States. I shudder to think of most of these people representing my country and fellow citizens abroad. First of all, you have the rude people who say 'HURRY UP FASTER GO FASTER, PASS THEM, WE'RE IN A HURRY" blah blah blah. Then you have the people who don't even make an attempt at the language, who just go up to some poor taxi driver, ask the name of a location in a Southern Belle accent (oh and that is not a jab at the belles on this season, who seem sweet, but dense) and sit in the taxi saying the whole time "did you understand me? are you lost? do you know where you are?" Ah and THEN there are the blatant idiotic statements that make you just want to whack teams upside the head, like when the belles were trying to cross the street in Brazil, desperately punching the crosswalk button. The light would not change and one got frustrated, only to have the other one say "Honey, this is not the US" No sh*t Sherlock, did you remember the 6 hour flight? I might add to my mockery by saying that while Brazil may not be the US by any means, the lack of cross walk light despite the desperate punches of the button are strangely reminiscent of a Boston street corner, say....in the Longwood Medical Area for example. Maybe they still have dirt roads in the towns these ladies hail from....or just not enough traffic to hit them when the cross against the light. Anyway, it should be a good season.

Lastly, do we all remember my small-headed commuter rail friend? Fall must be a special time of year for him because he was back on the train with his under-his-breath swearing. He couldn't get a seat this morning and, God FORBID, had to stand. Tragic really. He stood there saying "effing this, effing that, the mbta this, mbta that blah blah blah blah blah" I stared at him. I totally admit it. Stared at him, willing him to STOP. He caught me and stopped his monologue, and then looked at me as though he was going to say something. I just kept saying "Oh please, please say something to me, it would be my pleasure to tell you what I really think of you" But he didn't. He just looked down. This actually surprised me, given his fits of rage.
Eh well.
Tomorrow will be another day after all - plenty of time to be offensive!

Three Letters Short

Well I've decided to abandon the alphabet thing with xyz left. It was somewhat laaame to not do it in the month allotment, so I'm abandoning it. Oh well. Maybe I'll do NaBloPoMo's October theme and stick with it!

So it's the weekend and it's a rainy weekend at that, which means that there will be much inside time. Sometimes that's a disappointment because I just want to be out in the fresh air, but with practically all of fall left, I'm not going to stress about not being out of doors. Besides, there's a ton to accomplish this weekend. I've finally kicked the depressing funk that had been settling around me (hahahah haven't cried in TWO DAYS! I'm cured! lol) and now I'm ready to take action, which I am sure Jamaal will be happy to hear since he was sort of like "stop wallowing and figure your sh*t out" (in a very supportive way, btw, not unsympathetic. he knows I need a kick in the ass sometiems though).

Anyways, so I've assigned myself a TON of tasks for the weekend, but unlike the past few weekends, I feel like my tasks are reasonable. It's not something like "make a whole quilt" though technically I could probably get the log cabin one I have on the to do list done! No instead I'm going to be accomplishing reasonable tasks, hopefully meeting attainable goals and not be irrational trying to do ridiculous things that would require 6 more hours added to the day, and instead crossing one thing off my list and feeling like a failure, I'm gonna DO the list. Boo-yah.

First up is buying girl party favor supplies. Amy and I are hosting a girl party in a week - you know in my parent's home, in which we live rent free :D We have an artistic vision for the night, nothing to insane, but it's gonna be a fantastic party. Amy bought some amazing favors and they arrived yesterday - well ok they didn't start as favors but they are becoming favors! I have to go by the Paper Source today to buy some paper and ribbon as well as a decorative box/wrap to wrap Jam's goddaughter's bday gift in. *Aside - Jam's goddaughter, Lilian, is turning two and is one of the frickin' cutest kid's I've EVER seen. I got to buy her clothes and a book - because we always need something educational - and I had the most fun doing it. I told Jamaal we must have a girl child. the end*

What else is up for the weekend? Getting my pictures of flickr, all of them, up to date. I'm not gonna stress about getting them labeled right away, but I want to load all of them on the site, and then burn my pics to CD and put them in our fire-proof safe. This may sound ridiculous, but we were talking about natural disasters/fires/losing homes the other day and my family all agreed that while it would be positively devastating to have to leave your home and evacuate and then LOSE it without being able to take things with you, the most heartbreaking thing to lose would be photographs. I laughed and said if our house was ever on fire, I'll be out of my room, right after I chuck out my scrapbooks. Then seriously we talked about how we need to take better care of our "archives" - we need burn digital pics onto CD and get negatives into the safe. My Africa negatives are in a shoebox in the safe right now. It probably seems silly, but I can't even tell you how upset I'd be if I lost those, so it's time to be proactive and back up some stuff. My father had my parent's wedding album set to music and put on DVD recently and while it was a nice gift just to give my mom, it was also really really smart. We can copy that and put it in the safe. Very smart. So there's that.

What else? Oh, I'm in charge of steaming the clothes that we're donating to Interfaith Services' Back to Work Program. My cousin Catherine had a number of very stylish and very tiny (size 2 & 4) business outfits that would be perfect for a woman going to an interview or even into the office every day. Understandably, Interfaith has pretty strict rules about the condition at donation, which means I have make sure everything is pressed and hanging. It shouldn't be too bad of an operation though, as we'll just put the clothes on a rack in the garage and I'll drag the steamer out to them.

Organize craft projects will be next. This actually isn't a hard project or a tedious time-suck one. I've just been lazy.

Design an embroidery square for Colby and Gidon's wedding quilt (long story).

Make an exercise schedule.

Clean the bird cages.

Work on Colby and Gidon's wedding gift.

FINALLY ORGANIZE WEDDING BINDER!

Frame/print some new pics for room and office

Actually, this is quite a pleasant weekend I have planned here. Save the bird cage thing (yick).

I will feel accomplished if I get to all this this weekend. Maybe I will even do more....!! Like finish two certain wedding gifts for two special couples who got married nearly 5 and 6 months ago! (oh the shame - though they're both the type of couples who would be delighted however late the gift I think.....M & K because they don't expect it and J & D because they're so chill - right EE?!) so yeah. It will be a good weekend. I feel it in my bones. And next weekend? Even better. :D YAY!

Post Picture: Jam's goddaughter, Miss Lilian, A Very "Cool Chick" (her words)

DIYBride.com

Oh my goodness. I have found my people:

"Most brides have a similar focus when they finally get their hands on that first bridal magazine, or when they sit down in front of Google for that very first wedding-related search. That magical gown, the wedding dress.

For us craftier brides-to-be, the focus is a bit different. We dream of invitations, programs and stationery. Vellum and engraved and metallic and handmade and letterpress. Wedding invitations are little paper masterpieces, and for brides like myself, they set the tone for the wedding much more than the gown does."

Yup. When I got engaged I said "Hey Ame, will you ask your friend Brenda to make my dress" After the initial flurry and the excitement of her actually saying yes, I was like "whatev, gotta focus on invites now." so crazy.

New Post, Unangsty!

Well venting felt good. I mean looking back I probably took it all too personally and totally overreacted, but it's better to do it here than at a person's face I suppose.

Anyways.

So I took a mental health day yesterday. I don't do that too often at all, it's probably been my 2nd of 3 1/2 years here. Never took one with my other jobs (I liked them too much, dork that I am)....though I took them at school all the time. High school once or twice and college, but NOT grad school, strangely, where I actually needed them. I think I only ever missed one grad school class!! Anyways, so I took this mental health day which was actually more of a sick day because I did feel pretty gross in the morning, sore as health throat (which still hurts and feel like it legitimizes the sick day) stuffy nose, dry and yucky eyes, sore ears, and freakin' body aches - where did they even come from?! I felt well enough to trek to work but run down and sick and tired and thought "f*ck it, I'm calling in." SO there.

The day was restful. I slept, watched something ridiculous on The Tyra Banks show, watched Recount thanks to Amy's Netflix account, slept some more, knit, listened to an eBook, then watched hours of Animal Planet. There were two sort of marathons on yesterday, Animal Cops Houston and It's Me or the Dog. Fantastic. I love how Victoria Stilwell does not f*ck around. Anywho, last night on Animal Cops, the Houston SPCA was given the task of rescuing some emus. Apparently the owner died and when his relatives went to empty out his jungle-esque estate, those were the only two animals they did not and could not take. The things were wild and totally unapproachable, but living in very bad conditions and clearly needed to be rescued. Now if you've never seen an emu in person you might think "how bad could they be?" but after being in charge of mosquito collection on an emu farm (ok why out of all my coworkers did I land that particular task) I have a healthy fear of them (oh and we collected there because emus appear to be particularly sensitive to Easter Equine Encephalitis and not only do you want to test to see if the mosquitoes in the area are carrying it for the sake of the human population, the guy on this farm wanted to protect his meat-producing flock). It may come from being in Africa and being told "don't approach an ostrich EVER because they may run, they may do something really stupid like try to swallow your whole hand, but their tiny brain may tell them to kick and their kick can behead a lion, their toenails eviscerate a human." Now I'm not sure how much of that is true, but it seemed reasonable. Emus, on the other hand, are much smaller than ostrich - the emu pretty much maxes out size-wise at 6-6.5 feet and a lot of the birds on the emu farm were about my height (5'6'') while the ostrich can reach up to 9 ft. Emus' lets are a bit less intimidating too, but like the ostrich they have those prehistoric looking feet with nails that say "do not f*ck with me. EVER." When I would collect mosquitoes, it was always a wee bit tense. Of course the emus were contained in pens, but could I rely on the electric fence if they got angry? What if the flock turned on me? Laughable perhaps, but when you are walking amidst literally hundreds of emus, the thought crosses your mind. They make this horrifying crackling and drumming noise when they're ticked too, which doesn't exactly put your mind at ease.

Anyways, I watched eagerly as the brave souls with the SPCA tried to wrangle them, because they're frickin difficult, as most birds are when they're being "wrangled." I mean, you should see Lily when I try and cut his little toenails. Sure enough, one of the birds wriggled free and sliced the the Assistant Chief Cruelty Investigator right in the bicep - even knocked off his cowboy hat, which seemed to be the most egregious, as in all the many hours invested in watching Animal Cops Houston I have never seen him without it. It was sort of the same feeling I had when my friend Anne and I saw our track coach take off his baseball cap to reveal an entirely bald head, particulary shocking as a mass of shaggy hair and unruly beard framed his face when the cap was one. Anyways, the investigator got patched up - it required a night in the ER, though upon seeing the injury I'm surprised the bird didn't tear any muscle that had to be repaired surgically, and used his mad animal corralling skill to later move the emus to a sanctuary where they'd be safe forever - ha ha probably never to be moved again. I guess it sort of just drove the point home for me - never mess with an emu.

Finally, Jamaal thinks that I should share my morning email (we write to each other daily, and if I start the day I usually make him read about my morning commute). Know that I try to be charitable and respect people's spaziness but today it was just THAT extraordinary:

Allison to Jamaal

show details 9:02 AM (1 hour ago)

morning love

how are you today? I am well but sleepy (must've been all the talking last night lol).
So have you ever wondered why people act so incredibly spazzy? I had two encounters with spazzes today. OK THREE.
1. Guy I sat next to on the commuter rail. As I sat I tapped his hand with my ass. Fine, whatever. Then he proceeded to shake his hand around like I had the plague, to the point where I wanted to offer him purell. Then he proceeded to bite his nails and rub his hand all over his face for the rest of the ride. Thank goodness I got off at JFK/UMASS. meh!
2. A lady opened the back doors on the bus (they're manual and dumb) and did not wait for me to get out the way. They hit me square in the back and tossed me across the aisle (because I was one of the few people standing - not that that's a big deal it was fine, but don't knock me over)
3. THE STARBUCKS WOMAN. omg. so she's reading a Kohl's circular in line. She keeps looking at me all shifty. Then she darts to the trash to throw it away, maintaining her watch on me the whole time, like I'm going to cut her or something. Then when she finally gets to the front of the line she asks for a venti latte, triple blended, three splendas and 140 degrees. What the f*ck. WTF??? 140 f*cking degrees? like can she tell? does she take a sip and send it back if it's not 140 degrees? I wanted to ask her "why" and if she realized that she was actually in a Starbucks and not a gourmet coffee cafe. I mean props to Starbucks and all but it is a f*cking chain and other people are waiting for their normal coffees. WHy you gotta be so spazzy?!

sigh. oh well. made it to my office safely after that. the throat clearer is the only one here, but I'll take her over the one next to me, who is annoying as hell. I am going to put on my headphones soon anyways. ALSO lunch theme today is "Old World Delicatessen" which would normally freak me out but the special of the day is pastrami. Oh JOY!!! PASTRAMIIIIIII!
ok that's sad. but still. it's ok to be excited about the simple things in life.
Also, I feel guilty because I think my other coworker might legit be at jury duty!!! (I suggested she had made that up - due to my boss's lax demeanor and "I don't care attitude" one could essentially lie about JD....)

Hope you have a good day dearie.

That's all for me. Have a Happy Thursday peeps - though how could you not, with Ugly Betty, Grey's and The Office on tonight. Yes I am one of those lame people who lives for TV on Thursdays. Deal with it.

What do I even say?

So I hate talking about money for the most part. I mean Jamaal and I talk about it all the time, friends and I joke about how we're po' etc, but a serious conversation about cashmoney is something I love to avoid.

I was commiserating with a college friend about loans today. I was saying how my repayments are going to triple and it's a bit freaky as one month's student loan payment will be approximately one and a half times a week's pay and that if she goes to grad school she should look for grants or scholarships or some sort of supplemental to her tuition. Instead of being like "oh good luck with the loans" she said "you live with your parents, I only have so much sympathy"

Ouch.

Yeah it's true. It's a choice I've made that's been working for me. Then this person tells me her month expenses not including food are $100 less than my entire month's take home pay. Which leads me to believe that she makes quite a bit more than me (or at least I hope she does, otherwise she's not eating!) She said that she'd love to have petty cash like me. Um. Um. Wow.

I so didn't want to get into it with her because I value our friendship way more than I care about her view of my lifestyle, but that really hurt. I mean seriously hurt. Yeah, I guess the truth hurts and all but her life is also a choice, and I wasn't saying that I had trouble making ends meet, how I lived paycheck to paycheck blah blah blah. I didn't even bring up the $700 I need to fix my car and how it's gnawing an ulcer in my stomach. Or the fact that after I pay loans and put aside my wedding money and my regular savings money I have $110 a week for food/gas/other bills (maybe this sounds luxurious, I don't know). I just dropped it and was like "oh silly me for complaining! sorry! I could have rent! I have it so easy!!"

The thing is though, it's not easy. Not really. And yeah, people say "find a better job" "move to the city, give up your car" do this do that - well that's not so simple either. I'm living in this limbo at the moment, waiting to see what's going to happen job wise, waiting to see if Jamaal will find a place and a job up here and when, trying desperately to save up simultaneously for a house and wedding. Things aren't simple.

I guess this post really has no point. I guess I just wanted to put it out there that just because I live with my parents doesn't mean I have an entire floor to myself, my own bathroom, my own cellar filled with dollar bills in which I swim every night. This choice also means that some mornings, like today for example, it may take me 2 1/2 hours to get from my house to my office. Daddy doesn't pay my car insurance, Mom doesn't float me cash for my cell bill or to fill up my gas tank or to buy my $186 monthly MBTA pass. Actually Amy and I never needed to ask our parents for money in college or as adults for that matter. Financially, we cover our own sh*t, and while yeah, we may live rent free, there are certain expectations we have to deal with that someone who lives on their own may willingly pay rent just to escape, like no, you can't do laundry whenever you want, no you can't get a pet whatever, no you can't have people over all hours of the day, no I won't pay you back for the $40 worth of groceries you bought for me at Whole Foods, no you can't SLEEP IN THE SAME BED with your fiance, no you can't take a shower at 5:20am that's MY time, no you can't cook in the kitchen right now I just cleaned it no no no. Then there's the whole "go to the liquor store and get me a 12 pack" "go get me a Boston Herald" "go get hot dog buns" "go to Wal-Mart and get me this" "you owe me $100 for the flowers I sent in your name to the funeral home" "I got an estimate on that car part it was $300 so I just ordered it you can pay me back" or "you WILL be around Saturday because WE HAVE to get XYZ done"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, please, don't think of it that way. I really get along well with my parents, and my sister and I are so tight, bff tight, and things are good, and really affordable - I would be so f*cked if I lived on my own or even with a roommate and my credit card debt would be astronomical and Jam and I would be getting married at City Hall instead of saving up for this big fabulous event everyone is marking on their calendars. But you know what? All that is fiiiine it's totally my choice and I don't complain about it - I've made my bed and I'm laying in it and it is pretty damn comfortable. Not ideal, not a $3,000 mattress, but comfortable as hell. I'm just sayin' before you go and knock a friend down a couple pegs cause you think they're life is so f8cking fantastic or so incredibly simple and delightful and they have not a care in the world -
THINK. It's probably a little more complicated than you thought.

Victorious and Adding a Feature

I feel like my blog page is so junky that it's distracting...but today I noticed a sad lack of photos, well personal photos at least (though who doesn't like looking at Tom Brady?) I am thinking of adding a photo element again, like a daily or weekly photo. Hmm.

What else is new?
Well some of our fears were put to rest on Sunday by a Patriots VICTORY. Everyone was grumbling "our season is over blah blah blah" but I knew that 1. Brady is good but not the whole team 2. Belichick is a mastermind (ok no Spygate references please) and 3. Cassell couldn't possibly be that bad. I mean maybe we won't have that 19-0 season we've been fantasizing about since last year's Superbowl shame, but it oughta be a bit exciting.

*aside* I love local organic food. It's awesome, it's a good choice for me and for the environment. BUT I scrubbed this lettuce and there is still dirt on it. Ehhh. I will eat it because it's washed and there are probably nutrients in the dirt. I mean I ate a lot of dirt as a kid and turned out pretty healthy but seriously? ACK! *aside over*

So I am thinking of applying for a new job. I won't go into detail yet because of my enormous fear of rejection but hopefully will have details soon. The work would indeed take me away from the cancer hospital. It's proven to be such a rewarding place to work, but let's face it, I can blog right now because the rest of the week's work is in a small pile in front of me and will take no more than 6 hours to accomplish and as of now I have 20 hours left to fill. It's time to pursue something that will make me utilize my degree. And call me lame but the job I found would entail the beautiful integration of getting grimy as hell in swampy river areas outside and ALSO require nice clothes for public presentations. Rockin'.

Jam is in town tomorrow. Yay! Of course it is for school though which means I see him Thursday night, Saturday night, then he heads home. Er. I think he is grateful for this though because I am starting to try and do some serious wedding planning and I'm not sure he's that into it yet LOL. I keep mulling things over in my head, though they are somewhat useless til we tack down a place and date. Ah well.

Ok this is the part where I cut myself off. What a dull post! I have to eat lunch because I am off to donate platelets. I feel like I must be nearing the 50 donations mark....I don't know if you get anything for 50, but just telling people I hit 50 would be badass. Too bad they don't measure by units. My platelets are so high I donate a double dose every time - one of the smartass pheresis techs told me if I gained 75lbs I could donate a triple with my counts. I told him I didn't plan on doing that and he said "hmmm. well wait a few years." WHA? Not so sure about that one ;)

Triglycerides and Uwem Akpan

I just read a study about how triglycerides stay in the body 15 times longer when a person is stressed. I've always been a bit concerned about my higher than average triglyceride levels. My cholesterol levels are fantastic, with the overall number decreasing for the past two years, with my LDL going down and my HDL going up quite a bit - but those pesky triglycerides stayed up there. Mind you they're not abnormal, and my doc was pretty much like "well if you don't have diabetes, your other counts are stupendous and you don't consume a lot of carbs or alcohol, I really wouldn't stress too much. Just stick with a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise." I wonder if two years worth of stress could've kicked them up a bit?? Hmmm. I notice since graduating while I am very depressed about my lack of job prospects and feeling a bit lonely without Jamaal close by and with him in school, that overall my stress level is much reduced. I actually have a little less gray hair (though I'm not sure stress and grays are linked scientifically) and tend to not overdo it as much, try to pack everything into a short period of time to the point of having to pull an all nighter only to end up exhausted and very very sick (happened twice in the past year). Now I am determined to destress a bit more, get organized, get exercising and stick to that healthy diet. It's for my health!

Anyways, I never thought I'd actually finish this alphabet theme - ha NaBloPoMo from April too! Think I can wrap it up before 6 months hits? Anyways the letter "U" was a bit of a sticking point. I was uninspired....until I read Uwem Akpan's book. I have read a rash of disturbing books about Africa these days, though all of them have been non-fiction. I think this collection of fictional short stories may be the most horrifying. They are so raw and gritty and real that as I read I wondered what kind of awful things this author had seen that made him able to write such heart-rending stories. I googled him (of course) and discovered this interview, which actually made me feel better about the book. In the course of reading it I was overcome with a sense of hopelessness, but when I read that Akpan wrote it to bring the troubles of Africa into the light, I was glad that was his motive. It's a hard read, but worth it....I got a feeling reading "An Ex-Mas Feast" that's what life is like for Kenyan street kids after seeing them in Nairobi and Machakos, pick-pocketing and sniffing glue, seeing the slums of Mathare and Kibera but the story drove it all home for me, helped me "get it" even more (and made me want to help even more). I was not as much educated on the other issues covered in the book (except for the ubiquitous issue of orphaned by HIV/AIDS...well ok and the Rwandan genocide) but reading something written from the African perspective was extremely rewarding. Be prepared going in if you're going to read it though; at times it is horrifyingly bleak.

Recall

This is actually freaky. I had this extensive 9/11 recall post up here. I wrote about how it was a beautiful day in Northampton and how I went to class and didn't know til I got out and saw people distraught and couldn't fathom til I saw the TV at what type of great disaster could make people act the way they were acting. How we had a family friend who was seen on the 20th floor of Tower 2 but didn't make it out. How we've recovered but not forgotten.

But then my computer froze. And I saved AND copied the post....but when I restored my firefox session and tried to paste the post in a word doc, it was gone. Perhaps it was never meant to be.

Sigh. Anyways, I hope everyone makes it through the day ok, and if today is a day of mourning, as it is for our friend Sally, my thoughts are with you.

Tom Brady

Am I a bad person because I care more about Tom Brady's injury than Barack Obama's poll slippage???


Because I do..............so much more.

Top Model

I am so the product of my undergrad environment LOL.

Well. Ok, maybe not completely, since I rushed home last night after getting my fake nails buffed up and a sparkly, flower-bedecked pedicure on my toes to watch the two-hour season premiere of "America's Next Top Model"....it's probably a little anti-all-women's-superpower-college of me, but who doesn't love Miss Jay and Tyra saying "This girl needs some ugly-pretty because she's just pretty-pretty, and pretty-pretty is ugly-ugly." Rockin.

Anyways, the whole "product of my environment" kind of hit me last night while watching ANTM and the girls' reaction to the first "transistioning" contestant, Isis, who was born physically male but "in the wrong body" an is transistioning to female. There was a real mix of horror, disbelief, chill-whatever-ness, disgust and then, total blankness. The "Oh sh*t, I don't know how to react so I will stare at my feet" which to me, is better than the whole disgust thing.

Transgender-sensitivity training was something I underwent every year at Smith. They delve into in your first year so you don't go up to a fellow student and do something embarrassing, like direct the seeming fourteen-year old boy wielding a skateboard back to the high school, only to find out that yes, that is the person who sits next to you in "The Art of Southeast Asia" and lives in the house (dorm) next door. Whoopsies. I then became a Head of New Students my sophomore year and since you are sort of a guide to the in-coming students they really lay sensitivity training on thick, covering race issues, sexual orientation issues, and a special part for transgender issues. My senior year I was house president and during that week-long training we spent a whole day on "issues" I think it was good for me though because I feel as though I came out of Smith pretty chill about the whole sexual orientation/transgender thing. I mean, true, it would not be my personal choice so I can't really "understand" what it's like to BE transitioning/questioning/gay etc, I can only understand what it is like to be me, but I can be open about the whole thing and cool with it.

Why? Cause ulitimately I don't give a sh*t how you choose to live your life if you are a good person. I think that's what it has really come down to for me since college and the years of being "out in the real world" and having to interact with all kinds of people, and having to deal with a changing America - and by changing America I mean having to vote in church as to whether or not we will "allow" gay couples to be married (I'm glad I missed to vote because I have all kinds of problems with this that I won't even go into because it would involve a separate post on the word "allow" alone, then a post on why I don't think a congregation should ever dictate what a minister can do if he feels he is doing God's work, whether we pay his salary or not) Had I been present in the congregation that day I would have voted "yes" without a second though, without worrying about the judgements that might be made of me by the rest of the congregation (the majority of whom voted "yes" by the way) or by my family (who all voted yes, though my parents struggled with the decision a bit). My mother explained later why she and my father voted "yes" - my mother, a Protestant, and my father, a Catholic, were not allowed to marry in the Catholic church unless my mother converted (yeah right, ha) and even had a difficult time finding a priest to reside over the marriage (the State Police chaplain finally came through). My mother said "I know what it's like to be told you can't get married. I looked at Chad (our gay organist - how he sat through this vote is beyond me) and thought about someone having to tell him he couldn't marry his boyfriend and I thought about how sad that was and I couldn't do it, I couldn't vote no." I think my father may have struggled less with this decision not only because of the marriage issues he and my mother faced but also because of his very much lapsed Catholicism....I think. Maybe he just doesn't find it as big a deal. I dunno for sure.

When she asked me to justify my reasoning I said "Because I don't care" She wouldn't take that as an answer. Finally I said "Look Mom, I know a lot of straight couples who are frickin' miserable and fight and have affairs and get divorced. If the legalization of gay marriage and our vote for Rev. Don to perform the ceremony allows to happy loving people to make a life together, that's all I could ask for." That seemed to satisfy her, or at least satisfy her better than the "I don't care" statement. The thing of it is, that I really DON'T care - just go, be happy, do the world some good, and don't be a jerk, those are my only requirements LOL.

So anyways, back to Isis. It's her damn business that she is transitioning to a woman. I mean if you want to ask questions to learn, that is cool, but seriously, all this "ANTM is for girls only, no man is gonna beat me" and "this is not a drag competition" (OMG) is sooo not cool. And this whole "good southern values" = transgender person gets shot is bullsh*t. How do I know? A transgender student lived in the house next to ours and shared our dining room with the rest of his housemates. He began transitioning between freshman and sophomore years, and this was a bit hard for some people as he showed up and left as "Joanna" and came back as "Jo". I met him as Jo. No biggie. Because some of our housemates knew Joanna and were confused and because we had a LGBT workshop at one of our Friday teas, Jo volunteered to give us his perspective, and one of the things that struck me was the reaction of people in his small, rural western-Virginia home. He said that he was really nervous because everyone knows everyone in this town and it's the type of place where old men sit in chairs on the porch of the general store and talk about the passersby. He said at first everyone was like 'um. what? you're a girl, why do you want to be a boy?" But he went out and he wasn't afraid to answer questions and face adversity, much like Isis on ANTM. He said that there would always be people who didn't understand, but small towns are protective of their own he found, and the people in his town stood by him and made sure no one made a fuss.

Anyways, I suppose the moral of the story is that education is the key. I am sure that many of these girls have never met anyone who identified as transgender/transsexual/trapped in the wrong body and their initial reaction of shock or bewilderment is natural (I can't remember my reaction. probably "heh??!" but I tend to hide things well) and I give Isis mad props for dealing with their questions the was she has so far, 'cause it's got to be exhausting. What I don't like is the refusal to accept another person as they are. Some of the girls even gave Elina a hard time for dating other women. Just because it's not your personal choice doesn't make the person whose choice it is "wrong" or "weird" or "freaky" or "bad." They're just different from you. I mean that's what makes this world so freakin' interesting. There's no two of us alike and we have such an opportunity to learn from one another. I'm very grateful that I do live up here in Massachusetts which has been a bit of a pioneering state (don't believe the Californians and all their hoopla, WE were the first state to legalize gay marriage a whole four years before they did!) where a more open environment is fostered (most of the time, there will always be exceptions). I like being around different people with different values and beliefs, because even if I struggle to understand them, it still opens up an opportunity for me to learn. I just hope the mostly-vapid immature ANTM girls will grow a little bit and embrace their chance to learn a little bit more about something other than themselves.

Ok. I'm climbing off my high horse now and reverting back to my trashy-reality tv induced judginess to show you my favorites:Elina. Her stomach tattoo definitely freaked me out at first, but then I heard her talking and loved her reaction to the "You date girls?" and "Girls are so moody!!" comments and I dig her. I am worried about her whole vegan platform. Not that that's not cool BUT I hope it doesn't turn into a "thing."

Isis. Duh. Just wrote a whole post about her. She's fieeeerce.



Joslyn. I don't know how good she'll be but I like her positive attitude.
McKey (TAFKA Brittany). I like her mostly because Clark doesn't like her and makes fun of her and I think Clark is foul. I also like her pretty pretty red hair and her kickboxing bod. Right on.

Sheena. OMG she is my favorite. Initially I was like "SHUT IT HORRRRR" but that only lasted for about five minutes. Ummm loved how she is just out there and doesn't give a sh*t, and also loved how she "doesn't hate and dates all races and all flavors" which prompted Ms Jay to say "You're an equal opportunity employer." Heh. What else - she's got a rockin' bod and is not freaky skinny - I love me a girl with a booty. She's just chill. She so far hasn't made judgements or said anything nasty about anyone else (though that won't last most likely LOL, around episode 4 the true bitchery begins). She also concluded episode 1 with "You're not ready for this yellow fever" Awesome.

Well that's it for me and my ramblingness. Better get back to work.

P to the S: Is Nigel not hotter than ever this season? daaaang
P to the P to the S: I cannot tell you how much I love Ms. Jay "Girl, you so country but I looooove it" I love you Ms. Jay. Times ten.
P to the P to the P to the S: could you even BELIEVE that the girl from Harvard could not name ONE English-lit female heroine???!! I mean at first I thought she was thinking, because I would have a really hard time choosing between Cathy from Wuthering Heights, Jane from Jane Eyre, Elinore from Sense and Sensibility, and Anne from Persuasion (and those are just the 19th century female English authors!!) but no. She was silent. Nothing. And then freaking TYRA BANKS a women whose intelligence I used to think was somewhat iffy, starts with "what about Rebecca? What about The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck? What about Jane Eyre?" After I recovered from the girl from one America's top Ivies not being able to come up with an answer, I sat for a moment and let Tyra's sudden smartness wash over me. Yeah anyone can list books true, but I guarantee you if you interviewed people on the street, more than half wll probably say they never heard of them. I mean I talked to someone I think is very intelligent and very well-educated and I said "you know, Jane Austen, the author" and he said "Never heard of her" Ummm. As Amy would say "skurry" At least his major wasn't English Lit though!

Sexy Summer, now September

Oh god LORD how did September happen?
Yikes!

I have to say though, the fam ushered in September in fantastic fashion. It turned into a very low key weekend, the highlights being running errands with dad (always hilarious - especially at Home Depot), drinking four or five margaritas at our southwestern fiesta party with the neighbors, getting a stack of books out of the library, buying much needed girlie supplies to fill the empty beauty/personal care product coffers, falling asleep with Lily on my bed to wake up finding him dozing next to me (awwrrr), being home alone with Ame and watching one disturbing movie (Lust, Caution) and one fantastic very sweet movie (Arranged), fabric shopping, and ROOM ORGANIZING. Oh, and successfully diagnosing my pet fish with a fungal infection and getting to the pet store to buy medicine before the whole tank came down with it. That was a pretty big triumph for me . Conclusion: pay more attention to the fish!

Anyways, I looked over my goals for the summer (which technically I do not consider over until it's too cold to go out in flip flops, and we're good for another month up here) and I did fairly well. I did get very organized, though not wedding organized, not quite yet. I did hang out with Amy and watched about a zillion episodes of Grey's Anatomy and crafted, during our cancelled vacation. I didn't make it to NH for more than five days, though that is because my granfather's retina started bleeding like a mofo and he couldn't go up there (and we need him to drive the boat). So that was a unforseen complication. I never got to hang out with my friend Jenny and her daughter, but that is also due to complications, as her grandma is very very sick right now and the timing is no good. I didn't fly a kite either, but hell, I got tiiiime. There's some other stuff I didn't get to, but I'll get there eventually.

I guess this post is pretty damn boring. Oh well. This entire summer I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off and this is really the first time I feel calm and relaxed. It's really fantastic. I think knowing I don't have to go back to school this fall is a huge reason why. The only thing I'm worrying about right now is how I'm going to get my backlog of homemade gifts finished before the holidays hit! I'm not even stressed about work or the fact that the job market is abysmal (and the fact that I haven't heard from the company to which I applied, sadly). No stress. Just looking to enjoy the end of summer and the lucious New England fall. Oh yeah :)

I Heart Nas Times ONE BILLION!

So I knew nothing about this Olympiad's US Women's Gymnastics team. I don't know how I got so out of touch. I mean, being from Massachusetts I heard a bit about Alicia Sacramone, but I couldn't really match faces to names. For some reason, during the prelims, I decided that I was a Nastia Liukin fan. I don't even know why. Just decided I liked her style, she did NOT seem like a drama queen at all, seemed genuine in her friendships with her teammates, and was a tremendous athlete. Oh, and knew how to take a fall and get right back up and shake it off. WHAT A WOMAN!
Naturally last night, I was rooting like crazay for "Nas" and it sooo paid off. She rocked. Thus continues my mad mad Olympic love. Sigh. If only synchro were primetime!!

I Heart the Olympics Time One BILLION

I really do. I just love love love them. Totally. Watching this live was one of the greatest sports moments I've seen on television. It beats the Superbowls, hardcore Patriots fan that I am. It beat the Celtics winning the finals. It's right up there with the '96 gymnastics team winning gold with Kerri Strug's heroic vault on a busted ankle and the Red Sox breaking the 86 year curse. I will say that without a doubt, it was probably the most exciting sports moment I've ever witnessed. Good lord. Loves it. This week is going to leave me overtired to hell, re-addicted to coffee, and oversleeping probably every day....oh but it's going to be soooooo gooood.

Overdue R Post

Wherein I discuss:
Ramirez, Ravelympics, Reading, Revolts, Rivers, Romance

Manny Ramirez: Last year I liked Manny enough to invest in a Ramirez Red Sox Tee. Then he shoved an old man, slapped Kevin Youkilis and didn't play on purpose. The verdict: Good riddance, I won't miss you, I'm just pissed I wasted $20 on the shirt. I should've bought a Jon Lester shirt.

Ravelympics: I tried to resist the Ravelympics. I tried to resist starting a new knitting project. But I couldn't heck no, I couldn't. The point is basically this: you cast on at the start of the Games (Beijing time) and cast off by the end, having completed an entire project during the games. Of course, forget the projects I'm working on, the wedding gift that is now 2 months overdue, the shawl for my mother and the conundrum I'm facing with the unmatching yarn. Forget it. Forget it and start this, a selfish project for myself, in this luxurious black mohair with beads. It's hawt. I hope I can finish because casting on was an absolute bitch and a half. I won't have the neat little ends shown in the picture, but I was not about to rip anything out. Noooo way.

Reading: I've been reading some pretty fantastic books lately. Of course there have been the duds. "1491" was fascinating, but read as disjointed and jumbled, with a lot of personal "storytime" from the author. Then there was the delving into incredibly rich detail about things such as spearheads but would then gloss over things like those Olmec heads saying something to the effect of "the curious thing about the Olmec heads was that the helmets the figures wore resembled those worn by Chinese soldiers." Um. Ok. Elaborate please? Regardless of its flaws, it made me want to learn more about several of the topics discussed in the book. Other badness? I hated, hated the end of "Friday Night Knitting Club." I am not above sad endings. Sometimes I even like a good cry. It was so tacked on though, like the author thought of the ending first or was desperate to finish the book and wanted a dramatic ending...it was the desperation of the ending that drove me crazy, shocking, tacked on, etc. Blah.

Enough negativity though. You know what I have loved? Delving into books about Africa. There have been some adventure ones, some save the animal ones, and some more serious ones, all AIDS and orphans and the struggles of international adoption and negotiating the legal system in post-colonial nations. What I love more than anything is that each of these books embraced some element of Africa, some gritty piece of glorious, beloved Africa. Peter Allison's book was by far the most entertaining and hilarious. His stories paint a vivid picture of safari life and are heartfelt and humorous. I laughed out loud when I read parts of this book. Neely Tucker's book made me cry (in a good way). His story of trying to adopt his daughter, a child found in the bush, tossed away like trash, is heartwarming. You feel his frustration as he tries to navigate through all the proper channels of the post-colonial Zimbabwean government and your heart breaks as he tells the stories of the orphanages visited by him and his wife. This is actually a great portrayal of how frustrating it can be to deal with certain authorities in Africa. Though my experience in Kenya is far limited, I have known the whole waiting in line for hours only to get turned away, told you were in the wrong line, or even questioned as though you were a completely suspicious person with something sinister in mind. I can't believe the patience and love and compassion maintained by the Tuckers throughout the whole experience. Similarly, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the difficult situation of orphans, AIDS orphans in particular, and the challenges facing those brave enough to become caretakers. Her biography of Haregewoin Teferra was enormously educational and I am grateful I read it, having almost tossed it aside as "too long, too depressing." Nicole Itano's book was similarly educational, though I loved how she profiled three specific people as a way to make Africa's stuggle with HIV/AIDS more personal. Finally, Mark and Delia Owens talk about their noble pursuit to save the elephants in Luangwa Valley in Zambia. I loved this one because they HAD to integrate people into the bigger wildlife management "picture." Check out their foundation - I fantisize about starting such an organization!

Revolts: Listen to this - I have a cousin, whom I have never met and don't care to, who lives in California and teaches at one of the UC's. We can't remember which one. Anyways, a cousin said to my father "I went out to visit Jack and he's got a TON of guns in his house. Like a ton." "Well," said my father "He was always into weaponry and hunting and such" (later my father told me about a fishing trip they took where Jack killed a bullfrog with a knife, thus scarring my father for life.) So my cousin says "yeah, but you know what he said when I asked them what they were all for? He said they were for 'the revolt'" "What revolt?" asks my dad. My cousin says "Well that's what I asked "what revolt?" and he said "for when the blacks revolt. I want to have adequate protection." Obviously I was horrified when my father relayed this story - even my cousin who is a bit of a redneck from Maine was appalled. My dad and I sort of sat there silently. Then he started laughing and said "You know what would really unscrew him? Sending him a wedding announcement. That would just drive him crazy. That'd be great." I think that'd be pretty funny....but I think I'll just pass on that one.....

Rivers: I've rediscovered the North River. It's practically in my back yard. I've been out on it twice and it's been faaaaantastic. It appeals to all of my bird nerd tendencies, plus it puts my kayak to good use. Of course this week's forecast is craaap. Ah well. I'm loving it. I have fantastic photos, but haven't uploaded them yet (lazy).

Romance: So I was watching a movie the other day. Or perhaps TV - ok I forget. There was this uber-romantic scene where the guy does something really nice for the girl and everything is all warm and fuzzy, blah blah blah (ok it sounds like I was watching Grey's Anatomy, lol). So I was wondering - when Jam and I live together, will he be a romantic person? I mean he totally does what he can from afar in Brooklyn, but as our lives have become a little more frantic from school and such it's sort of gone by the wayside. I mean it's not the end of the world or anything, I mean a person can't expect flowers every five seconds but.....I dunno....I guess I just wondered if there would be a revival once we lived together and got married. I hope so - in a very childish way, I totally acknowledge that it's ridiculous and somewhat juvenile - but let's just say, it would be nice.

Too bad Jam doesn't read this anymore. You know, so he could get my oh-so-subtle hint. Le sigh.

Ok that wraps up the R's. I'm good. Hope you're all good too.

written to Jamaal just now...

....

Also at the cafeteria the guy in front of me had an order that came to 6.66. The cashier, who is this crazy Haitian lady who is always saying "Jeeeesus help me get through this day, I have to go organize the chips" stopped right away when she saw 666 and screamed "666 is the devil NUMBER! Baby, you need to buy a candy, purge the devil's number out of this machine (imagine all this with a very heavy Haitian accent)" The kid is like 'Aw, I don't believe in that stuff.' She goes "oh oh but it is real! Lucky for you I will pray for you tonight! Jesus help you! You should buy a candy though" He's all "I don't want a candy" So she says "Ok. But you're marked by the devil's number, I will have to pray for you tonight." Then she said to me "Your order better not come to 6.66" I said "oh I don't mess with the devil, I'd buy the candy." duh. cause it's candy!!