Sunday, November 12, 2006


Not to go there, but the average person farts an average of 14 times day.

I try to be an above-average person. My goal for Friday was 33. I didn't even make it halfway.
This was highly unusual for me, a naturally gaseous person. I was disappointed in myself.

Yesterday I set a goal for 50 and thought that surely my lunch consisting of two dark brown ales, a reuben, potato skins, buffalo wings, and two marshmallows dipped in caramel dipped in rice krispies dipped in chocolate would get me to my goal. Oh how it worked. By bedtime I had made it to 43, a staggering number, but fell asleep before I reached 50. Perhaps I reached my fart goal in my sleep, but the fact of the matter is that I'll never know. Tragic!

Today I did not set a goal for myself, because frankly, it's sick and twisted. I did, however, have the joy of sharing my story with 13 people, all of whom were fairly surprised about the whole average person, average 14 farts deal. While I may have never fulfilled my goal, I think that I got people thinking about their own bodies. How many other people can say that about their gas? heh.


vamom7678 said...

Found your blog on the randomizer thingy....hilarious!!!!!

Excalibur said...

You are so crazy Al, LOL. I have to spread this theory. Look how much of a hit it was discussing it last night at Fire and Ice.