14

Not to go there, but the average person farts an average of 14 times day.

I try to be an above-average person. My goal for Friday was 33. I didn't even make it halfway.
This was highly unusual for me, a naturally gaseous person. I was disappointed in myself.

Yesterday I set a goal for 50 and thought that surely my lunch consisting of two dark brown ales, a reuben, potato skins, buffalo wings, and two marshmallows dipped in caramel dipped in rice krispies dipped in chocolate would get me to my goal. Oh how it worked. By bedtime I had made it to 43, a staggering number, but fell asleep before I reached 50. Perhaps I reached my fart goal in my sleep, but the fact of the matter is that I'll never know. Tragic!

Today I did not set a goal for myself, because frankly, it's sick and twisted. I did, however, have the joy of sharing my story with 13 people, all of whom were fairly surprised about the whole average person, average 14 farts deal. While I may have never fulfilled my goal, I think that I got people thinking about their own bodies. How many other people can say that about their gas? heh.