POISON CLOAK

I was recently reminded of a friend's love of rhubarb.
It came up in an email conversation about pies. I believe my sister wanted to make herself a pie for Easter, which evovled into a "what is your favorite pie" discussion. I answered "strawberry rhubarb" becasue it is my favorite pie of all time, FOREV!

Then my friend emailed "I LOVE RHUBARB!"
I vaguely remember discussing this in college - I mean we did share a room for two years and I am sure it came up. What I did not recall was this:

"PS: Once I tried to make a cloak out of rhubarb leaves. A poison cloak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!! HaHAhaHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I thought this was rather brilliant (the stalks of rhubarb are edible, of course, but the leaves are poisonous). Anyways. In her honor, I give you

Rachel of the Poison Cloak

Starbucks Cup #83, Beth Israel Deaconess

The Way I see It #83

They told you that beauty is in the
eye of the beholder. What they
failed to tell you is that it is best
seen with the eyes closed. What
you look like isn't important. What
is important is who you are inside
and the choices you are making in
your life.

-- Tiana Tozer
1992 Paralympic silver and 1996
bronze medalis, women's
wheelchair basketball.

Reality TV fo' Realz

Ok.
Now that I've been left in relative silence by 3/4 coworkers (there's one still lurking about) and have eaten my incredibly satisfying left over from last night's dinner lunch, I am going to write about my now not so secret shame: reality tv.

Ok yeah, I was one of those people who boycotted "Survivor" when it came out. Yeah, yeah I was at Smith trying to have a conscience and all and was like 'oh reality tv. I look down upon those people who produce those shows. Instead of paying real actors who need work they use average people and make them do tricks like a monkey and then reward one of them with money at the end. Cheap and vile entertainment. BAH." Of course, being the inventors of reality TV, MTV was completely exempt. Whenever possible I made myself "The Real World" and "True Life" 's WHORE Then I graduated from school. I saw "The Apprentice" and was like 'hunh'. I totally watched the first three seasons too. Then I got into "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" where they completely exploit your emotions to get you to watch TV. But I let it go because they were doing good for the world. When I started working, and more so this year, all hell broke loose. TV has become my escape from reality. Let's face it - college? ha ha ha not really REALITY. Working full time, having an 1 and a half commute each way, dating a boy you LOVE but who lives 300 miles away? That's mother-f*cking reality. Oh and bills and all that shit too, hahahahah.

Anyways, my newest addictions now include reality TV. Sure there's "Lost" and "Grey's Anatomy" which I *said in high pitched sing song voice* LOOOOVE* But now there's also Amazing Race, SuperNanny, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway.

I'm gonna start with America's Next Top Model. (Small font to compensate for the length of the post)

Ok. This show is so ridiculous, although the good thing is that unlike effing "Dancing with the Stars" the panel doesn't really give a shit what the audience at home thinks when making their decisions. Besides, Americans wouldn't get it anyways, what the judges look for. They'd just be like "awww the blonde one from Arkansas is cute" and vote for her even though she can't walk in effing HEELS! So there's a good thing at least. I just think it's kind of a joke because most of the girls aren't amazingly pretty or talented. I guess the point is to mold them into a supermodel, but have you seen last season's winner, Nicole? TOTAL FEMBOT! I'm sure she's sweet and all and she's pretty enough but honey, you have bendable limbs! BEND THEM!

This seasons models are pretty interesting. I mean Jade, the queen biatch is enough to keep us entertained an entire season, and it's not cause she's good or pretty. She just a plain ol' bitch. But she does create drama in the house and on the set, so every week I hope she stays in the competition and they weed out one of those boring other girls because I love tuning in to see what bitchy/idiotic/pompous thing Jade will say/do next.

The girls-

Kathy - well she must've deserved elimination because I don't even remember her being on the show. ha. so there

Wendy - seemed sweet and she was unusual looking, a bonus. And I even pulled for her since Katrina f*cked up her house real bad. But she sucked at modeling. So she had to go. Though I wish she could've beat Gina, because seriously, she had to be better than Gina.

Kari- ahhhh so sweet, so young, so blonde blue eyed middle america-ish. No I did like her actually. Her falling shot, I thought, was beautiful and graceful. Her cover was hot, and her bald shot was freaky as hell, but she really played off her features. Sadly, in North Dakota they've never seen Vivienne Westwood fashion show mandated shoes cause....she falls when she walks in them. Oh they are totally hooker shoes, yes, platforms, 6 inch heels. But she fell. So sweet little 18 year old Kari. DONE.

Gina - effing Gina. Now Jade totally tormented this girl, yes, but she never stood up for herself! EVER and she got herself into the worst situations by opening her mouth. You would see her mouth start to open and you wanted to jump through the TV, tackle her and go "no, no no don't do it Gina!" She was clearly a big airhead too, plus she would freeze in front of the camera, especially when Jade was there mocking her. I would be like 'listen, you f*cking twat who's not even pretty - shut the f*ck up or I will cut you with my ridiculously high cheek bones" Her bald shot, I thought, was beautiful, and some of her other pics were cute, but they all looked the same. Oh and her cockroach flip out scene - PISSED ME OFF - Therefore - DONE

Molly Sue - what is there to write? She seemed sweet. Tyra was all about her. But she was so flat. She was always talking about 'Mah outgoin' personality no one is seein' UM HELLOOOOO THEY TAKE PICTURES OF YOU! WITH A CAMERA! At anytime you could've revealed that personality of yours. Yes they gave you a bad haircut, but you're supposed to be a model girl, work with it. But she never worked it at all. AT ALL. It's too bad cause this girl has gorgeous coloring. I think when they cut her hair, they took her confidence too. Therefore she's DONE

Brooke - The judges and such said right out one day "she's not conventionally pretty"
No shit. Brooke is kind of funky looking. But I see that she has potential to really model well. But when you watch her on TV and LISTEN to her, you're like "HEH???" She is an airhead extraordinnaire - I mean really dumb, which she attributes to her shyness and panicking when in public. For now I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt because she is definitely very sweet and good-natured. She brings little drama to the show and she's a nice break. She hasn't taken any amazing pics yet because she holds her body so oddly in most of the shots making her look really awkward, though I found her bald one interesting, even though she turned her face away from the camera.

Danielle - when I first saw her I was like "Hell no, take it AWAY" But then she got extensions and I was like 'ok, maybe' She is a little ghetto, but then I noticed that she's kind of a good sport about stuff. Like falling on her ass in those heels and spraining her toe. There were no histrionics and she really wasn't a diva about it. Plus she says some funny shit, like when Jade said she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher and Danielle interviewed and said "I'd rather home school my kid's than send them to Jade's class." Funny. Danielle's pictures have been gorgeous, in my opinion, from her bald one, to her amazing Snow "Black" one, to her singer one. When she's not made up, you look at her and go "what the HELL" but as soon as she puts some makeup on all that you're like "yes please"

Furonda - fastly becoming a favorite! When I first saw her, much like Danielle, I was like "someone tell her to stop posing with her armpits exposed please!" But then they gave her extensions too. She looked better, but I was still unconvinced. Her bald picture scared my shitless. I mean it's very artsy in a way, but I saw it and went "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" Miss J also doesn't like her and is like "her head looks like a lightbulb" Yeah? Miss J - you look like a man dressed as a woman.....ohhh.........wait..........Anyways. Furonda has a long way to go in my book, but I see HUGE potential. Her bald shot, scary, her falling shot, awkward, her cover, OK. Her career shot, pretty nice....potential. And last night she was awesome on the mini "Wild N' Out" segment and her PSA was fabulous - she was a great speaker and she's become a little more humble. And she can deal with Jade. Props, girl, mad props...

Jade - I'll be honest. I do not like this one except for the bitchiness she brings to the show. She is cocky as hell about everything. Ex. "Models today you will walk in heels" Jade: "Girl I live in heels" "Models, today you will do improv" Jade: "Girl I was made for the stage" I don't actually think she's a confindent person. It's sad really. She's the type of person who brings everyone down so she can feel up. And she talks a lot of shit, like "oh I WILL BE America's next top model, no doubt" Potes, a reviewer on "Television Without Pity" sums Jade up quite well: "In lieu of the standard photo shoot, the girls must film a Cover Girl commercial in which they improvise their dialogue. You can guess how that goes. Each girl only gets two takes, and then they are S.O.L. Brooke falters under the pressure while Jade thinks that she's the bee's knees, but is actually the bee's anus. Seriously, watch this episode just to see her commercial takes. At judging the girls' commercial efforts are widely mocked, with Jade and the personality-deprived Mollie Sue landing in the bottom two. But much like the vampire she so resembles, Jade cannot die and thus Mollie Sue packs her bags to head back to Boringville."

Joanie - "TV without pity hate Joanie" Yeah, yeah, they make fun of her snaggletooth and all and say that she looks like a stripper. But I like her. Why? She's sassy. And I shy away from the blondie blue eyed's too. But I think she's great. She taken pretty pictures. Yeah, she did take a few that resembled a blue-eyed Bambi caught in the headlights, but her "career" shot - holy sh*t, it's professional grade, in my opinion at least. She can walk in heels and did some better than all the rest of the girls except Furonda free stylin' with Nick Cannon, so personally, I hope she's got some staying power

Leslie - she's gorgeous and I wish she had more air time. I don't even know what to write about her cause she never gets air time! But anyone who can be dressed up like the Big Bad Wolf and look that good deserves half a chance. She looks amazing! Her bald pic isn't my favorite, but all in all, Leslie has got something a lot of the other girls don't................................dude, and apparently she is only 18? Holy crap....

Nnenna - how can you not love her? she's from Nigeria, she's got a chemistry degree, and she's given up everything to be here. Yeah, she hogs the phone and wins a lot of the challenges and that can make the other models cranky, but she seems sweet and unassuming. In last week's episode everyone was like "Nnenna only seems to be sweet" Well yeah, she does seem to be, except for phone hogging with loser boyfriend, who she will hopefully ditch for that particularly and strangely enticing male model that put the moves on her during the career photo shoot. That would be some great television right there, dragging a male model into the mix. hehe hehe sweeeeeet. Nnenna's one of my favs cause she seems sweet and is nice to people. She doesn't care what they think of her either, and when you're on a show with a lot of bitches, that may be the right attitude......

Sara - See they cut Sara's hair and I was like "what the f*ck did they do to her?" but then I saw her old photos with long hair and was like "OH yeah, that makes sense" I think Sara could be a come from behind star. I'm not sure about it, not 100%, but I like her look. She reminds me of a friend from college, though this girl has brown hair and Sara is blonde - maybe it's the California mentality. Sara kind of bombed the commercial by marketing a Cover Girl product with a drink in hand, but for going first and having the commerical being improv, I thought she kicked all ass. And I thought she was the best, yes even better than Nnenna....she is lacking that thing that makes you notice her straight away (like, she doesn't really pack a punch) but I think with help, she could make it...

Ok that's my analysis
I'm not going to make any crazy-ass closing statement, because this crazy-ass post is already crazy-ass long! I will tell you that right now, my favorites to win it all are: Nnenna, Furonda, Wendy, and Sara.....yup...........that's all...........

oh that, and the fact that all the pics except the first are copyrights of UPN and America's Next Top Model

the daily mumps

My sister sent me this the other day

"Have you seen this website? http://dailymumps.com/

I've been scrolling through all the pictures and practically peeing in my pants."

Now my sister is one of the funniest people I have ever met, one of the few people who has actually made me laugh so hard I've started to 1. cry 2. pee 3. gasp for air 4. all of the above. AT ONCE!
So I figured that she was a pretty good judge of what was funny. SO I clicked on the link....

and.........





I'M ADDING THIS TO THE LIST OF BLOGS I READ DAILY BECAUSE IT IS EFFING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

If you click on the link, I recommend you look at all the pictures posted, you know, just so you can get to know the family a little better, oh I mean the "tiny indigenous
laborers who pose in exchange for rice and strips of twine" who are featured in this hilarious-not-a-photo-blog comic.

I'm telling you, if I'm ever lucky enough to have kids, I'm going to shun most parenting books (note I said most) because it's websites like this and dooce that teach you one of the MOST IMPORTANT necessities of child-rearing - a f*cking sense of humor :)

About the Lilting HOUSE

UPDATE YOUR FUCKING BLOG SO I WON'T BE BORED AT WORK ANYMORE!!!!1111oneone

pretty please??? :)

Amazing Race

I MADE AN IN DEPTH ANALYSIS FOR EACH TEAM ON AMAZING RACE 9!
I LISTED THEIR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES AND GAVE THEM MAD PROPS AND STUFF
BUT THE POST IS GONE
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Out of Africa

If I know a song of Africa,

of the giraffe

and the African new moon lying on her back,
of the plows in the fields
and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers,

does Africa know a song of me?


Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on?

Will the children invent a game in which my name is?
Will the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me?



Will the eagles of the Ngong Hills look out for me?



Isak Dinesen
Out of Africa

Starbucks Cup #85

Grande latte
3/23/2006 9:30 pm Copley Starbucks on Boylston
3/24/2006 7:55 am Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital

The Way I See It #85

Let go you sorrow.

Let go your blues.

Coz I know tomorrow

is yesterday's news.

Let go your sadness,

give up the fight,

follow your madness

and take flight...take flight.

--Seal

Musician. His songs can be heard

on Starbucks Hear Music station,

XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

Period.

Xcalibur: ok listen to my talk for a young girl
Xcalibur: honey the human body is amazing
Xcalibur: it regulates itself
Xcalibur: part of god's design
Xcalibur: every 28 days or so
Xcalibur: females
Xcalibur: that are capable of bearing children
Xcalibur: their body has a process that regulates itself
Xcalibur: ha ha
Xcalibur: and it is a very special thing
Xcalibur: as it marks the road to womanhood
Xcalibur: and the ability to reproduce
Xcalibur: this better not end up on a blog
Xcalibur: I think that's pretty good for a man
wildorchid: you have no idea
wildorchid: hahahahahah
wildorchid: yes it is
wildorchid: here is what my talk would be:
wildorchid: so every 28 days ya ovulate ok?
wildorchid: and so your body is tricky and it's like "ooh an egg! maybe if there is an egg there will be BABIES! I must prepare"
wildorchid: so it builds a little lining. Kind of like a bed with lots of covers if you will, and waits. Then finally the body realized that there is no sperm, thus no baby, so it's like "well this is a waste of my time"
wildorchid: so the lining sheds itself
wildorchid: and just to be extra bitchy and pissed off that you didn't fertilize that egg like you were SUPPOSED to
wildorchid: you get cramps, bloating, stomach upsets, headaches, tender boobs and mood swings. wildorchid: but you know what?
wildorchid: no one better be fertlizing that damn egg until you are MARRIED girl!
wildorchid: Cause PMS is bad, but what I give you if you get pregnant will be worse
wildorchid: oh, and congratulations, you are now a woman
wildorchid: hahahaha
wildorchid: hmm maybe you should talk to the kids, hahaha

light

"I have nothing. I work in the fields every day. But I am so happy with this life. There is so much color."

-Indian woman outside Agra, as said to Anne Goddard, chief of staff, CARE

and featured in this month's O Magazine.

Maasai Women Singing

Xcalibur: but your blog is you
Xcalibur: a human being
wildorchid: thanks
Xcalibur: not a lets educate the world
wildorchid: i am a girl not a fem-bot
Xcalibur: LOL

self-realizations on a plane

So I went to Virginia this weekend to visit my sister, which was AMAZING and maybe I will write about that later. Right now I have to write about some things I realized the other day, mostly while flying home, though one I realized while on the can last night, but I can't remember it right now. I was taking a pee and thought of it, like I had this epiphany on the john, but how epiphanic could it possibly be if I've forgotten it? eh, perhaps I will remember.

Realization 1: The Atlantic Ocean is my favorite because it just is. I think it is the best ocean and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. I have met West Coasters who like to get into that exhausting argument about which ocean is the best and they go on and on about the Pacific. Now I've seen the Pacific. I've stood in the Pacific. Been on a boat in the Pacific. I know it's beautiful and like most oceans, has a sense of mystery and magic surrounding it. But I have had time to observe the Atlantic. It's what I know well (not the entire Atlantic, I have to add, though I doubt that the west coasters have had time to study the entire Pacific, so to me this argument is all relative) and I like it. The Atlantic ocean changes colors and moods and can do so quickly. I've rarely, except for the early, early morning on windless summer days, seen it placid. It is bitchy and angry and it moves violently if it wants. It consumes things, boats and people, unforgivingly in these massive swells and walls of water. It is feared and loved simultaneously. I'm sure this is also true of the Pacific, but I am not sure. I know they have big waves, bigger than east coast waves, you know, good enough to surf upon. and I know that in certain parts of the Atlantic touched by the gulf stream the water is warm and tropical and clear and still. But in this argument I am only talking about MY Atlantic Ocean. And it's not placid or clear or turquoise and it's certainly not warm. It's roiling, it's dark and cloudy and holds lots of secrets, it's green and blue and gray and it's freezing most of the time, unless it's so hot here that it stops mattering what temperature the ocean is, life on land has become so unbearable that people march out into the sea seeking relief even in the coldest of water. Maybe this whole spiel is just silly. But I don't care. I don't care if it's just one girl's opinion either. It's my opinion and it only needs to matter to me. The Pacific has lots to offer. But the Atlantic, that's my ocean. The ocean that I've swum in more times than I could ever count. The ocean that I go to when I need just a little peace and quiet or just need a change of scenery or a place to ponder the vastness of the world by looking unobstructedly eastward to the horizon meeting the sea and nothing in between. It's the ocean I fly over, no matter which way I'm coming from, when I come home. It's the one I see every day on my way to work as I cross the Neponset River and follow it down into the harbor. It's the most beautiful to me. Keep your waves and your warm water, give me the bitchy Atlantic, thank you very much.

Realization 2: Sometimes I really hate my species. In general, I love people. Ok, maybe that's an overstatement. In general, I like people and I love LOVE certain people. I think humans are amazing and there are acts of selflessness and compassion and brilliance etc that amaze me every day and make me happy to be a human living on Earth. The end.
BUT
Then I see such rudeness and unkindness and insensitivity that it makes my head want to spin around like that little kid on the Exorcist. grrrrr. 1. Lack of self-constraint and respect for each other in public. Why do you have to PUSH me when I'm in your way? Why do you have to cut me in line? Why do you have to sigh and be all passive aggressive when I am in your way when you could just say "excuse me, I am trying to get by." No, I do not want to overhear your very loud phone conversation on the train. 2. Lack of respect for personal space. This is touchy. Sometimes, personal space preservation is completely impossible. I totally understand. But a lot of times, even in crowds, you can allow people a modicum of personal space. Why do you have to repeatedly grab the headrest of my seat on an airplane? Why do you have to stand on the subway in such a way that I feel your entire frontal section in gruesome detail against my back? Why do you have to stand with your ass in my face? Why do you choose to stand or sit RIGHT next to me on a subway car/train/platform/bus, etc, when the ENTIRE place is empty? On the other hand, I think it's so rude to take up an empty seat with your bags and packages, when someone else on the bus/train etc, needs that space. 3. Why doesn't anyone follow the rules any more? When I went to the National Zoo this weekend, every single rule posted there, was broken. "No banging on the glass" the glass was covered with fingerprints and small children tapping on the glass while their parents looked on talking about how cute little Jimmy was. "The animals in this exhibit are shy and sensitive. Please keep your voice down." I saw children and adults alike breaking this one "MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM LOOK AT THE RARE ENDANGERED GOLDEN CRESTED SPIDER EATING EAGLE" The bird has like, a minor heart attack and flutters around it's little habitat. "JIM OH JIM COME QUICK THE WOLVES ARE OUT OF THE DEN!! Billy, run and get daddy! JIM!!!! JIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM" A few times my sister and I were like "WTF?!!!!???!?!" At the cheetah exhibit, the caretakers were explaining about how the cats need there exercise and there were all these people there going "wha? huh? what's he saying? the cheetahs WHA?" A few times I said quietly "maybe if you shut the fuck up you would know what was going on" argh. Frustrating. Plus in the apehouse, that was the worst place of all. There was a whole sign "Apes are scared when you stare at them. Approach them with your back turned. Do not tap on glass. Do not raise your voice. Do not startle apes" We were in that place for about 10 seconds before I saw every single rule broken. That's when I sped through the exhibit and was out the exit door. No more I thought. These apes, I thought, could behave and are behaving better than 90% of the humans I've seen today, and we're looking at them in a zoo? hahhaahha if anyone should be on display, it should be THE RULE BREAKERS.

Realization 3 (this morning). Instead of fining a$$hole drivers, they should be given a test. Now this is only for people who drive aggressively/with road rage. Once they are pulled over, they should be made to roll the window down. The amount of their fine should then be divided by 10. Take that number and find that many cars. Have each car drive by the offender and shout insults at them, kind of like I did today when I saw an aggressive driver who had passed me 10 minutes before pulled over by the state police. With the window up, I turned towards him and screamed, literally scream "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DRIVING LIKE A DICK" and moved along. Now. If you have a $250 fine looming ahead, but you can sit through and tolerate 25 insults hurled at you, then you get off with just a warning. If you only make it through 10 insults before you crack, then you get $150 fine. I think it's a brilliant idea, but there are definitely problems associated with that type of punishment, I am sure. Ha.
I think I need to stop this rant.

AHHAHHAHA sometimes blogging is so fun. I know that so few people will read this and I can go on and on ranting in my own special and insane way :D silly me.

The reason why I have been irrationally depressed lately: NOT ENOUGH SUNLIGHT

I learned today at a nutritional conference that between November -April in this part of the country no amount of sunlight great or small will allow your body to produce vitamin D. So I'm probably not getting enough. Which leads to sadness and badness. I mean sometimes, not like, all the time. So one goal: take my vitamins with vitamin D!

Starbucks Cup #77, Beth Israel Deaconess Boston

a totally necessary second latte of the day

The Way I See It #77

the human catalysts for

"dreamers are the teacher and

encouragers that "dreamers"

encounter throughout their lives.

They are invaluable in the quest

to turn ideas into reality. So

here's a special thanks to all of

the teachers - especially my

teacher, Miz Lane!

--Kevin Carroll

"Katalyst" and author of Rules of

the Red Rubber Ball: Find and

Sustain Your Life's Work."

In the spirit of the cup, I'll take a minute to thank my teachers (just elementary school today, I started with middle, it got way too long):

Preschool: Mrs. Bass, Mrs. Lelliott, and Mrs Whitaker. You took me to the farm, which was awesome. I made exciting crafts with you, including a fruit loop necklace, back when fruit loops only came in 3 colors! Amy ate most of it on a car ride to New Hampshire, but the point was I had fun making it. Also all those craft projects that included either pasta or dying things or bits of fabric. They absolutely molded my childhood. Between you and my mom, I became a craft whore.

Kindergarten: Mrs. Schoman. You were just about the nicest lady ever. Though it would be illegal to do so now, I loved it when I did something really well and I got a hug from you. You also did a lot of cool things that other teachers didn't do, like have our classmate Peter tell us all about having leukemia, and having a blind lady come in and teach with you, showing us that she was no different than anybody else. Also, I loved learning the shapes, and how we always had to color in a shape and then cut it out, paste on arms and legs and give it a name and stuff like that. Also, you helped me to start combatting my shyness when we sang the alphabet song for the end of the year "finale." I still remember "L is the lovelight in your eyes"

First Grade: Miss Harrison. You were a totaly nazi and scared the crap out of so many kids. I am so glad I got on your good side from the start, because underneath the scariness you were hilariously funny, something which I didnt' really realize until I got older and understood adult humor. You really taught me to read, which was so cool! You taught me to spell well too, and some fundamental math. You taught me about cheating too, a concept I didn't understand until I got to your class, asked a friend during a spelling test what word you had just said and had you storm down the aisle and rip up my test. I think you felt bad later, not realizing what I had been asking. I know you thought I had potential too, something I learned later. Also, the Flag Day thing, well it was DA BOMB!

Second Grade: Ms. Cashell. You were nice teacher, very patient. I don't remember a ton of second grade vividly, mostly just the fact that we had 4 mikes in our class. I know you taught me more complex math stuff, like carrying, which I thought was like, the most mind bending crazy ass thing I had ever seen in my life. I was like "woahhhh duuudue you carry the one to the tens column? far out" So that was awesome.

Third Grade: Ms. R. Doherty. I liked you because you were a cool lady. You were very mysterious to all of us students. You were a little older and unmarried and mysterious. Every holiday we made the best crafts too, like the giant posterboard black cats for Halloween. You let someone bring puppies into the classroom once too. You taught the year of the gulf war and had us write letters and send care packages to the troops, which was really cool. I got to meet both of my penpals that year when they returned to the US. You were always printing banners on the computer, so we could color them in and give them to people who needed a little cheering up. I remember once you gave me the responsibility to color in a get well banner for someone who needed a boost. I had to color it in with "pastels and soft colors" and I remember you were very pleased with the neatness of the whole project. I also have a book you gave me and inscribed with your calligraphic handwriting.

Fourth Grade: Mr. Smith. Mr Smith was the greatest teacher. He really challenged me and I think under his guidance and demand for the highest performance I became the person I am today. He was a disciplinarian and he was hardcore, but he was one of the greats. He really got me interested in Science at this point in time, and he was always doing great things like taking us on a whale watch, unwinding the string in a baseball to see how long it was, pushing us to do creative writing and extra credit projects or playing the dictionary game. Plus he recognized the fact that we were not too old to enjoy being read to, and read us among other things, "The Indian in the Cupboard." Shoutout to Mrs. Cripps (math) who did speed tests and made me love math and made her husband come into the school to set up his teepee and teach us about native american life and Ms. Hickey (english) who made me love reading and writing even more.

Starbucks Cup #52, Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital

(a totally necessary venti latte)

The Way I see It #52

True story: Recently I eavesdropped

on a conversation between two

twenty-something employees at a

local Starbucks. I listened as the

barista mused about his taste in

music. Then the cashier asked

him if he had ever heard the song

"Strawberry Fields Forever." After

a pause, the barista answered,

"No, can't say I ever heard that

one before." That's when I knew

there really was such a thing

as a generation gap.

--Mary Chapin Carpenter

Grammy award-winning singer-

songwriter. Her songs can be heard

on Starbucks Hear Music station,

XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

I do not call the above the "generation gap." I call it SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!!! Strawberry Fields Forever, while it may not be the most famous Beatles song by any means, is a classic!

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out

It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down cause I'm going toooooooooooooo

Strawberry fields

Nothing is real

and nothing to get hung about

Strawberry fields forever

Luck

My friend Melissa had a birthday over the weekend and I was so excited I could finally send the picture I created for her so many months ago. This one was particularly enjoyable to make. I got to work with hand-dyed threads on this one....normally, I wouldn't make an entire picture out of hand-dyed threads because they can be a little pricey ($2.00/ skein or thereabouts) so when a pattern calls for a color and you are only making 10 stitches, I am not gonna spend extra for those three stitches and I will just convert to regular old DMC thread. In this case, as I usually do for gifts, I went all out and purchased all the colors hand-dyed, and the effect was rather nice. I also bought the fabric recommended on the pattern. I then bought an unfinished frame. I knew I wouldn't be able to find the one I wanted already made, so I bought an unfinished one and two shades of green paint, one light one dark, to compliment the stitching. I first used the light paint on the frame, then put some crackle medium over that, then followed up with the dark. The result (after the second try) was quite satisfactory, and the dark paint crackled nicely, allowing the light to show through.

Anyways, that's been done for a while and I've been doing other projects. I'm caught up with birthdays for a while I think. Right now I am working on a baby shower gift for my boyfriend's coworker, a baby sweater, which is nearly done. I just have the sleeves and some fringe work to do, but the fringe is enough to drive a girl insane. It's really not fringe, but knitted lace, and the pattern is cracked out. Of course the book I'm using is British, so stuff that makes sense to them, makes absolutely no sense to me. The good think is is that I am so close to being done, not much could discourage me at this point, so I just have to master the fringe and knit it and be done with it. After that it's more baby gifts, this time for my sister's teacher and family friend who's having twin girls (we're each gonna do a picture) and then graduation gifts for my Smithies. Then I think there shall be a time of rest. Then of course, there's my sister's birthday, a friend's wedding, my old roommate's birthday, and my cousin's wedding. hahahah it's insanity on a stick.

Starbucks Cup #76, Beth Israel Deaconess, Boston

The Way I see It # 76

The irony of commitment is that

it's deeply liberating - in work, in

play, in love. The act frees you

from the tyranny of your internal

critic, from the fear that likes to

dress itself up and parade around

as rational hesitation. To commit is

to remove your head as the barrier

to your life.

--Anne Morriss

Starbucks customer from New York City.

She describes herself as an "organization

builder, restless American citizen,

optimist."

summer....or really, at this point, even spring

Today I am horribly horribly cranky.
There's really no good explanation for it, but I feel like I'm about to snap.

I have been slightly rude to coworkers (like answering their questions with one word answers in an attempt to get them to stop talking to me) Me: (yawning) "Oh excuse me I am so sleepy for some reason today" (translation - I am so fucking tired for no reason, I tried to go bed early last night, felt really really sad so was awake and then had to read myself to sleep") Anorexia: "WHY?" Me: "I dunno really." Anorexia: "Were you up late? On the phone? Talking to your boyfriend?" Me: "Not really" (translation: "Mind your own business and shut the fuck up"

I have been rude to the email chain, by telling them, in case they were planning to, not to bash the president. That would really just push me over the edge. Am I a fan? Um. NO. But I am kind of at the point where I am 1. so incredibly sick of hearing how he sucks at life and everything else. So sick of it. People use him as a scapegoat from everything to "I got my period this morning. That damn president" to "Meatloaf hasn't had a new album since the 90's. Has to be Bush's fault" to "it's 25 degrees out today. God is making us suffer in the cold because He and everyone else in the entire world universe solar system, etc, hates the president of America." Fucking stoppit already people, you're starting to sound lame, and a majority of the people who were pissed off about the election but knows that the really evil ruling majority is actually the SENATE have lost all sympathy for you and no longer care what you have to say. I am serious.
2. you try being the president. I'm serious. See if you can do a better job. If you do, I would totally give you credit, but I am guessing you have no f*cking clue what it's like to be an elected official or to feel the pressure that a president feels. This is for all critics of all presidents. Once you've fucking tried to rule an entire nation, then you can really criticize. for now, please shut up, you are making my head hurt.
3. seriously, what the hell have you done for the world lately? Oh nothing but selfish acts, yeah that's what I thought. I'm not saying the president doesn't have his own agenda and isn't selfish, I am sure he is. But pause. SO ARE YOU, A-HOLE. I'm not saying I'm not. I totally am a selfish person. Absolutely. But maybe in my own quiet way I have stopped vocally complaining about shit because at this point in time we should've all realized that it's completely useless and you are just wasting the oxygen I need to breathe. Maybe I have secretly been plotting how I can go on to change things for the better. In teeny baby steps I've already done things, dedicated my time, and in certain cases what little money I have to devote to charitable causes, to change the world. Do I climb my roof every day and say "Take that bitches, I changed the world today!" No I don't. But at this point, I would rather hear that than about the President, however selfish those proclamations from the rooftops may be.
4. People talk about issues and don't know shit about them. This gets me the most. I won't even elaborate, but when you start going on and on and on about something and you are trying to convince me that the government, president, administration etc are assholes, but then you don't even have evidence or proof or even KNOW what you are talking about, SHUT UP I don't want to fucking hear it! Jesus Christ.
Sigh. Anyways. That's not like, aimed at anyone in particular, or even anyone I personally know, and for the record, people who think the president is the shit in a good way annoy me too, though honestly, when I hear people talking positively even if I completely disagree, it such a welcome change of pace I feel relieved.
I dunno. Maybe this is incredibly bitchy. But honestly, I am really trying to just focus on how lucky I am to live in America. Do you SEE what is happening in the rest of the world? We are so privileged and have so many rights and freedoms. I wouldn't trade places with anyone. And if I suggested "MOVE" to any of these people bitching they would probably look at me horrified and say "me? why ever would I move" Oh wait, because your life doesn't suck that hard. In fact it's pretty good. Cause you're AMERICAN. Of course I would like our country to be run better. I'd like people to have more respect for each other, and I'd like people to realize how blessed their lives are. I'd like people to stop being so fucking selfish. But that's not something that will change overnight, and people are going to have to change their lives before they realize these things and stop being jerks.

That was like the longest rant ever that began as "why I am depressed today" and evolved into "why you should all shut up"
boo.
I digress.
The real point:
I have no idea why I feel like this today.
I am going to chalk it up to the seasons. I forget what spring is like. I forget what it's like to sleep with the windows open, and to have the sun coming in through the screen door and to have plants in bloom and to be warm, and I think it just hit me all of the sudden and I got cranky. Yeah, let's let that be the explanation.

stolen from my sister

I stole this from my sister's livejournal cause my blog window was still open from this afternoon and I thought "hey why not, it's something to do besides watching TV"

open up your media player. load up all your MP3s. Set it to random. List the first 20 songs that play. no cheating. bold the ones you find most embarrassing (if there are some.) Italicize your favorites. Underline your least favorites. post your list in your journal so others can mock and scorn and laugh.....

1. Carl's Fishing Net -from "Snow Falling on Cedars"
2. Journey through Africa -from "Nowhere in Africa"
3. Only If - Enya
4. Alma Mater, Smith College - Smith College Choir? Glee Club?
5. Music for the Nagangabana - The Baka People of Cameroon
6. Shake - Swahili bootleg CD bought in Kitengela Kenya
7. I Must Pass- from the documentary "Africa"
8. Kanan Neni - Raka Traore from the documentary "Africa"
9. The German Soldier -from "Snow Falling on Cedars
10. Ballad of John and Yoko - The Beatles
11. Szerelem, Szerelem -from "The English Patient
12. Get Back - The Beatles
13. EI - Nelly
14. You'll Keep Me Then? -from "Out of Africa"
15. Inkanyezi Nezazi -Ladysmith Black Mambazo
16. Karen Builds A School -from "Out of Africa
17. Something - The Beatles
18. In My Life -Chantal Krez-difficult-last-name-girl-who-sung-the-theme-song-to "providence"
19. Tearing Herself Away -from "The Hours"
20. In the Ghetto - Cartman

This was fun. Of course after I did the first 20, I heard all the songs I really like, like Check it Out by the Beastie Boys, Thin Line by J5 featuring Nelly Furtado, and Cry to Me, Solomon Burke. The above list doesn't really capture my style, though I like soundtracks and african music. I'm just glad Nelly got in there, hahahahha.

An African chant in Kikuyu just came on. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in Kenya. I am grateful music has the ability to transport you. Now "Heart Asks Pleasure First" in on from "The Piano." It is so incredibly passionate! I haven't listened to that soundtrack in forever, it's so wonderful. I should watch the movie, another great film. This soundtrack always made me want to move and dance too. Probably because I wrote papers to it in college, and when I fast song came on I"d take the opportunity to get up and MOVE. Oh boy, now Stevie Nicks is singing "Sunday Kind of Love.."......kind of puts me....in a......heh heh heh moooooood ;-) And my cue to leave this post "It's five o'clock somewhere" I do believe it is time for me to hit the Captain and coke..

church lady

I was informed yesterday that the family would be required to attend church this morning. Today would have been my Grandma Kitty's 74th birthday, and we donate flowers to the church service every year on the weekend of her birthday in her memory. SO even though my dad's been having a hard time returning to church after the gay marriage battle* we knew that we would have to go to see the flowers and take them home, etc etc.

Well this morning I awoke to my alarm and I was cranky as all hell. Horribly cranky. I'm not sure why. I did stay up late last night, first reading "Off the Beaten Pat: Massachusetts" trying to find fun things to do with my sister, who'll be moving home after she graduates, and my boyfried for when he comes to visit. I drifted, my boyfriend called and woke me up and then tried to carry two conversations at once, which for some reason really annoyed me so I was kind of bitchy (sorry for that) so that call just ended the night weirdly, and I proceeded to have the weirdest dreams about friends and family, woke up with my jaw out of the socket from grinding my teeth, and nearly peed my pants because I had woken up in the night having to pee and was too cold and lazy to get up and go. So bad start. Then my hair wouldn't cooperate and I didn't have enough bobby pins in the house to fix it. grrrrr. I got into the car in a huff.

Upon entering the coat room at church I was feeling VERY UNCHRISTIAN. I mean REALLY bad. THis guy was trying to shove his kid's mittens in his coat and was taking up all the space at the coat rack, right where I needed to hang my coat. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other (my feet were resting in a pair of fabulous Chinese Laundry extended toe stiletto black sling backs though!) and probably sighed. He moved, but as he moved, another lady from my church walked in. NOw she's nice enough, but she's overkill sometimes and was VERY happy this morning. She made some joke to my mom, and was all cheery happy and as we walked out of my church I made a throw up face. My mom just looked at me like "wtf are you DOING we're IN CHURCH!"

We go upstairs to get seated. It's a full house, as the third graders were getting their bibles and there was a baptism. SInce my dad mom and I wanted to sit in a pew together, we had to sit in the very back, which was actually fine with me, as we never sit there. As I turned into the pew, I saw what would be my punishment for sitting in the back: Henrietta (whose name I have changed to something slightly ridiculous to protect her identity).

Henrietta is a lady that goes to my church. She kills my soul. We were in bell choir together and she was wretched and could not read music, yet she and her equally wretched friend spent the whole time criticizing everyone else and bossing them. Henrietta is a bad singer who launches into an operatic vibrato in the midst of hymns, out of tune and behind on the words (not that I'm a good singer. I suck, actually, but at least I know it.) WHen it comes down to it, Henrietta is evil. THis is how I know: she is 80+, wears highly fashionable "mature woman" type clothes, and heels to church. She is not NORMAL, so she must be evil (clearly, this makes sense). There are a bunch of other characteristics besides these that make her evil, like her busy-bodiness, her short troll-like-ness, her bossiness, etc. I want to note that I am sure she is a perfectly reasonable and maybe even nice woman, and these observations are one made be a person who knows practically nothing about her, they're just a stereotype meant to be funny. Anyways, we went through announcements at church, and she had an under-the-breath comment for everything. Minister: "In the old English tradition we will be serving a Pancake Dinner in conjuction with the Episcopal Church on Shrove Tuesday" Henrietta "IMAGINE Pancakes for dinner, uckkkkkk" or Minister: "Do we have any concerns I missed" Henrietta gesticulates wildly to a man in front of us with his hand raised (under breath) 'Right here in front of you hello you missed this one"

This was annoying enough, but when it came time to sing the first hymn, that was when the true challenge began. I saved the hymn insert so I could copy down how the congregation sung it compared to Henrietta. Italics represent when she broke into operatic vibrato:

Congregation: Open my eyes, that I may see Glimpses of truth Thou hast for me;
Henrietta: Open my eyes, that I may seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee truth THOUuuuuuuu me

Congregation: Place in my hands the wonderful key That shall unclasp and
Henrietta: Plaaaaaaaaaaccceeee the wonderful key That shallllllllllllllllllllll

Congregation: set me free Silently now I wait for Thee, Ready my God, Thy
Henrietta: set me freeeeeeeeeeee noww I wait for theeeeeeeeeeeeeee God, Thy

Congregation: will to see; Open my eyes illumine me, Spirit divine!
Henrietta: will to see; Open my eyesssssssssssssssss SPIRIT DIVIIIIINNNNNEEEEEEEEE!

Now. Church is supposed to be somewhat solemn and reflective. Try being solemn and reflective next to this woman! I started to feel a laugh coming inside. I was like "no don't even think about it. think of something sad, quick" I looked at a church member who has been sick for a while. THat calmed me down. But everytime the vibrato started up I was in agony trying not to laugh, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw her short body facing me, as if she was singing like that on purpose to challege me! IT was pure torture. I'm sure she thought she could teach me a thing or two about singing, but still....my suckage almost cannot compare to hers.

Luckily we don't sing too too much in church, although there was an extra hymn "Jesus Friend so Kind and Gentle" for the baptism today. More vibrato. I gripped the pew cushion and stared hard at the baby so as not to laugh. Then on a more serious note I realized how important it would be to me to have my children baptized and raised as Christians, which surprised me as I never realized that it would be important to me. Luckily, these thoughts finally got me in the right mindset for church and since I had been a bad christian x 1000 already I decided to devote my attention whole heartedly to the sermon. It was about transfiguration and working on eliminating your "blindspots," things you are aware of, or maybe even only slightly aware, but desperately try to ignore. The minister was like "ask your spouse, your kids, your parents, your siblings what your blindspots are, they'd be more than happy to tell you what you need to acknowlege and work on." I have to think about this one for me. But immediately I thought of things for my parents. MOM DAD I HAVE SEX LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND SOMETIMES EVEN IN HOTELS! MOM DAD MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE SERIOUSLY TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE AND TAN BABIES! MOM DAD I TURN 24 IN 6 WEEKS AND SOMETIMES I THINK YOU THINK OF ME AS 16! MOM DAD I REALLY WISH YOU WOULD REALIZE HOW MUCH I DO WANT TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL BUT HOW FUCKING SCARY IT IS TO KNOW IT COSTS 30,000 A YEAR! MOM DAD I HAVE SEX, HOT NASTY.....

IT was then I caught myself thinking about sex in a house of God. I glanced at my parents, serenely listening to the end of the sermon. We stood to sing a final hymn. As they walked out ahead of me I thought "sometimes, God gives people blindspots for a damn good reason.....I think I'll stick to trying to convert them to using alternative sources of energy and hybrid vehicles before I approach the whole sex deal....cause I think those blindspots are pretty much working out for me right now. HA. As I shuffled out into the aisle, I looked back and saw Henrietta looking at me as if she could see right into my dirty mind and twisted soul. I sauntered down the stairs, making extra sure to wiggle my butt and flaunt my sleek looking legs (control stockings thank you God). Sometimes, fun is what you make of a situation. Even church.







*yes, our church had to vote whether or not to "allow" gay marriage in our church. The vote was like 173-9 overwhelmingly in favor of "yes" but that's not the reason my dad's not going, the reason is that the discussion prior to the vote was so incredibly disrespectful that he was not sure he could stand in the presence of such rude individuals, so he's been careful to work a bunch of Sundays to avoid the situation. I missed the gay vote but haven't been going to church because I've either slept through it or been away, not making a statement like my father has, hahahaha. I will say that he and most of the church members are back to their old selves and we've moved on though, so that's grooooood.

Two night skillz

I am about to go to a baby shower for a doctor at work.
Normally, I don't hang with the docs. I am too lowly to be found in their presence.
But this doc, well basically, she's the shit. She's really fabulous, wrote me a rec for grad school, is chill and really pretty (hahahhaha she's probably smart too hahaha) and just a cool lady. Anyways, she had her baby a month early while I was in Kenya, so I scrapped the baby sweater i was making cause I was kinda like "forget it."

Well on Wednesday my coworker is like "oh let's go to the baby shower they're having for her." I was like "BABY SHOWER!!!!!!!????!!!! WTF??!!!"

Because I have skillz I only panicked for a sec. Then I rushed home. I gathered my patterns about me, went to AC MOORE, bought cheap thread and what is in my eyes, substandard but acceptable and even pretty fabric. I plopped myself on the couch for every free moment I had on Wednesday and Thursday and at 12am last night, I finished this:

Now it is much more vibrant in real life, and I did have to modify it a bit. I did not have the bird charms, nor did I have the patience to do about 100 french knots on each cloud, so I excluded both. It still looked cute though. I did go with a blue linen fabric, very nice. Framing was a huge issue. The design in 5 1/2" by 5 3/4" and of course I bought a 5x7 mat, having the options of 5x7 or 8x10. I was afraid that a small design set in an 8X10 mat (the opening is 8x10) and then framed in an 11x14 frame, would look lost. So as I stitched and realized that the 5x7 did not have a chance in hell of fitting the picture, I decided I would cut it.
I had a blue mat, darker than the fabric very nice. I cut the entire lower half of the frame, not even thinking, so the razor score line went across the mat, no good. Took the less desirable but white mat that came with the simple white frame I bought. Right away as I'm cutting, the razor strays from the straight edge, and I have a freakish crooked line travelling across the mat. Now I am desperate. It's midnight. I know I won't have time to deal with this in the morning. I look for extra mats in the house. None. I have an idea. I rip out a manilla envelope I had in my desk. It is full of matted prints of my "best photos ever" that I had on my wall in college. I find Peyto Lake. It's mat is the perfect shade. I grab the razor, cut it out of the mat and then measure the opening. As I get ready to cut the mat to size, I realize that it's my last chance for perfection. so I line the straight edge up perfectly, then step onto my kitchen counter and onto the straight edge, to stabilize it. I make the cuts nearly perfectly. Of course the edges aren't all nice and angled in now that i've cut them, but it's passable. I didn't even iron the finished piece, or mount in properly. I taped that bitch right to the mat then threw it in the frame I bought. Luckily I had the presence of mind to buy a piece of "non glass", no glare plastic that is better than glass, mostly because it is excellent at concealing small imperfections. So all in all, it looks great, and to a person who is more than likely uncrafty, it'll probably look hawt. I hope it does. Even with my critical eye with this type of thing, if I received this as a gift, it would go on my kid's wall. So that being said, I think I will congratulate my mad skillz :)

Starbucks Cup #65 Beth Israel Deaconess, Boston

The Way I see It #65

If you're worried about getting a
job - or keeping one - start a
company of your own. By doing
so, you'll reap the rewards of your
hard work and you'll only get
fired if you fail. This is the land
of opportunity. Live in it.

--Bruce Campbell
Actor best known for B-movies
such as The Evil Dead and
author of Make Love! the
Bruce Campbell Way.

Starbucks Cup # 78, venti latte, Hampton, LI, NY

The Way I See It #78

My inspiration for writing comes from

the mundane details of my day.

I hear a song in the hum of the

New York subway, in the drops of rain

on the city street,

in the buzz of overheard

conversations in a crowded park.

The aim of my songwriting is to

translate these ordinary,

everyday moments into something

transcendental and universally inspiring.
-- John Legend

Musician. His songs can be heard on

Starbucks Hear Music™ station,

XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

This Latte saved my ass and my boyfriend's as I was falling asleep at the wheel driving back from Montauk. I spotted a quaint little brick Starbucks in a quaint little village on Long Island and basically stopped the car in front of it, gathered enough wits about me to actually legally park, and then bolted towards Starbucks without even asking Jam if he wanted anything (which I did go back and do!) Just holding the latte seemed to wake me up, and the Vanilla Sunshine Cupcake I purchased didn't hurt either. Anyways, that delicious latte was consumed at record speed and kept me awake and even bitchy until at least 11pm.....though I was only really bitchy for a short portion of that time, I swear..............;)

my sister teaches me about exercise

moon goddess: guys should be building muscles and girls should be toning them
wildorchid: ahhh ok
moon goddess: because girls aren't built to build muscle
moon goddess: and guys are
wildorchid: ohh ok
moon goddess: my teacher was like, "i'm not being sexist. girls' bodies just aren't built that way"
wildorchid: if someone said that to me I would be like "I agree"
wildorchid: hahahahah
wildorchid: it's not sexist, it's just, you know, the facts
wildorchid: we were meant to have babies
wildorchid: the men were meant to lift the heavy shit we can't
moon goddess: hahahaha
moon goddess: and build pyramids and crap
wildorchid: yep
wildorchid: useless stuff
moon goddess: hahaha

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

Xcalibur: I just farted so hard it vibrated the chair
wildorchid: yesssssssssssss
wildorchid: I took the largest crap of my life just a while ago
wildorchid: we're a hot couple
Xcalibur: sure are
wildorchid: oh that's going in the blog
wildorchid: hahahhahahhaahhah
wildorchid: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Xcalibur: I knew it would

Do you honestly think the world could handle it if we were to procreate?

Nope, which is exactly why we'll do it :)

snow day

Aaahhhhhh

So it's 10:45 am on a Sunday and I am sitting in front of my computer in a slightly disorganized room listening to Christina Aguilera. Nothing is quite as satisfying as being snowed it. :)

It's not that I'm even snowed in. We have maybe 4 inches on the ground. The wind is really intense though, creating blizzard white-out conditions, therefore making it dangerous to drive, therefore making us SNOWED in. Most people would probably be pissed off, but honestly, I couldn't care less. It's the weekend which means I usually try to pack about 7 days worth of errands and chores into 2 days, and on Sunday night I usually end up cranky and tired and generally pissed off that I have to go to work tomorrow and yet I still feel like I never got any "rest."

A snow day changes ALL of that. I can't go out. It's so sweet. I actually think my car may be covered by a tarp held down by bricks. So even if I wanted to go out, it would take too much effort. ha. SO so far I've only been awake for like, an hour, but I already feel like I've accomplished a lot of stuff. I took Lily out of his cage and danced with him to some hip hop and reggaetone, which I think he enjoyed because he whistled the whole time we were dancing around my room. I also went through my cross stitch projects so I could see what was what. I have been cross stitching so many gifts lately. I would post them here, but that would ruin the surprise. So far, I made a baby gift for my cousin:
I was really happy with the way this came out. The colors are a little softer in real life than they are in the picture, plus I didn't know what they were naming the baby yet, so I adjusted the picture so I didn't have to stitch a name. Also, I stitched it on the most gorgeous light blue fabric, as I knew they were having a boy. I even framed and matted it myself, with a dark blue mat to compliment the text and a white frame. It was sweet and simple.

Next weekend I am heading to NYC to see my supah-hot boyfriend (who is texting me right now bragging about all the snow in NYC, hahahah watch out, NEW ENGLAND'S right behind you...actually 22.5'' might be overkill) and to Long Island to go to my friend's cousin's birthday party (we have all become pretty friendly this past year, there's a group of us) ANYWAYS my point is is that I've stitched her a picture as well. Since she is going to school to become a teacher, I figured she'd need a little inspiration on her desk, especially if she has one of those really bad days. I am going to mat and frame this one myself too. I have blue paint and an unfinished frame as well as these really cute little star charms that I'm going to glue onto the frame. I also got the "Michael's Book of Crafts" out of the library for painting tips. I know I want to use crackle medium on the frames of two other pieces I've made for other birthdays, but I don't want to use that on this. I am leaning towards trying to antique the edges, like they have in this frame, but from what the book says it's a shitton of steps, and I'm not sure I'm in the mooooood for a shitton of steps, especially when I have a shitton of other projects to work on! The great thing that I have discovered since resuming my serious cross stitch addiction is that I'm very very fast. Especially when some of these pictures require less detail, though even the baby picture that required a thread color change every five seconds was completed in about 4 days. SO I am stitching up a storm. I actually went to a cross stitch shop yesterday with my mom, where I foolishly bought a $48 piece of hand dyed fabric thinking I would use it to stitch a picture for a charity auction. Yeah right. I got home and stared at it and thought "no way. I love FosterParrots, but this is insane. I am not make them a 28"x36" cross stitch masterpiece only to have it go to silent auction and have someone bid $25 on it and have a net loss. That would be insane." Now I'm not sure if this would actually happen, but it's the first year they're having this huge benefit and all the "what-ifs?" are going through my head. Like, what if no one shows or no one comes willing to spend money, or has the money to spend? Therefore, I have decided to go to plan B, which is a series of smaller parrot pictures. SOmeone else can decide how they will be sold. Also, some things I know for sure that I'm making are lovebird towels. I got a free lovebird pattern online. It's for a standard peach faced, but I think I will adapt it to have several variations, especially since the parrot people can be such drama queens about their birds. I have time I think I should make several sets of these. The pattern is pretty small too, so I may have to adapt it, but this should be a pretty straightforward design, plus it's the only parrot pattern I have thus far. I would upload the image but my computer is being a super bitch. Bitch.

SO I have the benefit stuff to do, but have til September, various wedding and birthday and baby stuff, plus I really want to try and do something fabulous for graduation, especially for Kristen who made me a QUILT which I love and adore. I know it won't be as cool as that, but if I could make something fairly original and of COURSE, Smith themed that'd be awesome. I was thinking of a "memory pillow." I swear I saw one once, but I googled it and google was like 'yeah ok, see that doesn't exist." It's a pillow with this little pocket on the back that you can slip memories into......I'd really love to do that, and have a cross stitch Smith thing on the front. I designed a saying with the Grecourt gates for the class of '03, but then never finished them (which is not such a bad thing considering, LOL) so yeah, I have til May to get on that.

Today I'm also gonna try out my MTV yoga DVD's, my resistance bands and research the New York Half Marathon I want to do. As well as scan my Africa PICTURES :)

Starbucks Cup #67, Longwood Ave, Boston and my timely undeath

The Way I See It #67

Throughout millennia, traditional

peoples have believed features of

the landscape were alive. Whatever

our beliefs may be today, we have learned that we must strive to

understand our place in the

environment and to reach a

sustainable equilibrium with it.

--Johan Reinhard, Ph.D.

High-altitude archaeologist and

National Geographic

Explorer-in-Residence.

By far my favorite Starbucks cup yet.

My timely undeath occured today. I say that because it could have been (though unlikely) my untimely death, but it was not.

As per usual, I took the red line this morning, and was unusually proud that I was on the train at 7am, which means I will be on time, perfectly so, for work. This made me excited, as I had been late every day for the past 7 days or so. sweet. So I'm minding my business on the train and a guy walks on with 2 kids under the age of 4. Shockingly, the man next to me stands up, and the dad tells the little girl to sit. I think "well he should sit with the little boy, who's even smaller than the girl." SO I get up and say "you sit too." He lets the little boy sit. A bit off the mark, but whatev, it makes me happy that I did something nice for someone. After standing for about 10 minutes watching the little kids be all excited about riding the train, I remember why I like getting on at Braintree, the first stop: SO I CAN SIT AND SLEEP. I'm standing on the train, holding on to a dirty pole and think "this is no good. but AH! It's only 7:39, I still have time to catch the 7:40 bus!" When the train pulls up to JFK/UMASS, I lean forward to assess the situation: the bus is by the curb, nearly empty. Sweet, I think, the bus will wait for us, since it's empty and the driver can clearly see the train pulling up the to the station. I make my mad dash to the stairs, and up them I go. I like to get ahead of the bus crowd right at this point. This ensures me a seat, plus I hate getting bogged down in the thronging masses of BC High boys with their huge awkward bags and slow-moving trudging steps. I get to the main thoroughfare and then exit the station. I have three flights of stairs to go down. Another woman and I have clearly moved to the head of the pack in hopes of catching the bus that has now started to move out of the station. "Dammit" the woman next to me says. We start to run. Now I have high heeled boots on, but that's not a big deal, as I can run in anything. And I mean anything. I start running ahead of her and make it to the first flight of stairs thinking "if the bus driver sees me on the bottom flight of stairs running he'll stop" I move on to the second, now way ahead of everyone. I'm about halfway down when I stumble, launching my body headfirst towards the concrete landing. I'm not used to falling that way, so it took a split second to figure out what was happening. I hear the lady who was running with me scream, loudly. It must've helped me to snap out of it, because I grabbed the railing to prevent myself from landing on my head, all the while thinking "this can't be good." I manage to get my feet under me, but this cause my right ankle to turn inward, which in turn caused my knee to bend. My shin hit the stairs and then I slid the rest of the way down and miraculously landed on my feet. Everyone paused for a moment and I got up, straightened my jacket and said "well it certainly isn't worth breaking my leg over." The lady behind me said "I screamed because I thought you were gonna land on your head" I said "oh no, I'm fine!" (though embarrassed as hell). Then she said "Did you break your ankle." I was like 'uh I hope not, but if i did this bus goes to the hospital, hahahah." I got on the bus first (I deserved it after all that) and sat down. That's when the pain hit me. Adrenaline had saved me before, but as soon as I sat down I was like "Oh SHIT that HURT!"

Really, I'm fine....banged up, sore, but fine, considering i could've landed on my head, hahahaha

tuneless humming and w-2's

Dear Anorexia,

I hate it when you tunelessly hum as you do your work. This is the office where fun goes to die. It's silent as a tomb. Which isn't ideal, but you know what? I deal with it. What I hate is the humming. It's not even a real song. It's tuneless noise, worse than the highly irritating white noise of the printer next to me.

What's also annoying is your dumbness. Don't make it so obvious. If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't stare at me gaped mouth like a trout that I just fished out of a river, and then go "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???" in a high pitched voice and follow it with a hearty "Nuh-aaa-aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh" And if you don't know about certain things, don't bring them up. Like when you say that "Angelina is a dirty bi because she's "done things" with both men and women." I could write a manifesto on that statement. A fucking thesis on 1. why bi's aren't dirty (well, I mean they're not dirty cause they're bi. They could be either physically dirty or dirty dirty, but that's cool too if you're into that) 2. why just because you've "done things" with men and women it doesn't mean you're bi. I want to be like "am I bi? Cause I do a lot of things with women, like eat lunch with them, shop with them, ride on the MBTA with them......soooo am I dirty? will you ask to have your seat changed because you don't want to be near me anymore in case I make a pass at you? (note: if I were a sex-deprived lesbian and could somehow procreate with women and Anorexia and I were the last two people on earth, I would let the human species die. don't hate me for it, you don't know this girl.....*shudder*). Argh. Anyways, you should just let a lot of things go if you can't keep up. That isn't to be bitchy, but when I say things like "You hear how Saddam Hussein walked out of his own trial?" and you say "WHAAA? Nuh-ah, no way, they caught Saddam?" you should just save yourself the embarrassment and keep your mouth shut. I will give you credit for one thing though, you know more about Jessica and Nick than anyone else I've ever met. Fo' Realz.

In other news, I have my W-2's. hooray. I shall use them to buy a laptop. That way, I can blog at home and not at work, thus being more likely to get work done and not lose my job.

ooo-rah.

do you think the laptop will have Paint on it? I hope so........