Tuesday, February 28, 2006

summer....or really, at this point, even spring

Today I am horribly horribly cranky.
There's really no good explanation for it, but I feel like I'm about to snap.

I have been slightly rude to coworkers (like answering their questions with one word answers in an attempt to get them to stop talking to me) Me: (yawning) "Oh excuse me I am so sleepy for some reason today" (translation - I am so fucking tired for no reason, I tried to go bed early last night, felt really really sad so was awake and then had to read myself to sleep") Anorexia: "WHY?" Me: "I dunno really." Anorexia: "Were you up late? On the phone? Talking to your boyfriend?" Me: "Not really" (translation: "Mind your own business and shut the fuck up"

I have been rude to the email chain, by telling them, in case they were planning to, not to bash the president. That would really just push me over the edge. Am I a fan? Um. NO. But I am kind of at the point where I am 1. so incredibly sick of hearing how he sucks at life and everything else. So sick of it. People use him as a scapegoat from everything to "I got my period this morning. That damn president" to "Meatloaf hasn't had a new album since the 90's. Has to be Bush's fault" to "it's 25 degrees out today. God is making us suffer in the cold because He and everyone else in the entire world universe solar system, etc, hates the president of America." Fucking stoppit already people, you're starting to sound lame, and a majority of the people who were pissed off about the election but knows that the really evil ruling majority is actually the SENATE have lost all sympathy for you and no longer care what you have to say. I am serious.
2. you try being the president. I'm serious. See if you can do a better job. If you do, I would totally give you credit, but I am guessing you have no f*cking clue what it's like to be an elected official or to feel the pressure that a president feels. This is for all critics of all presidents. Once you've fucking tried to rule an entire nation, then you can really criticize. for now, please shut up, you are making my head hurt.
3. seriously, what the hell have you done for the world lately? Oh nothing but selfish acts, yeah that's what I thought. I'm not saying the president doesn't have his own agenda and isn't selfish, I am sure he is. But pause. SO ARE YOU, A-HOLE. I'm not saying I'm not. I totally am a selfish person. Absolutely. But maybe in my own quiet way I have stopped vocally complaining about shit because at this point in time we should've all realized that it's completely useless and you are just wasting the oxygen I need to breathe. Maybe I have secretly been plotting how I can go on to change things for the better. In teeny baby steps I've already done things, dedicated my time, and in certain cases what little money I have to devote to charitable causes, to change the world. Do I climb my roof every day and say "Take that bitches, I changed the world today!" No I don't. But at this point, I would rather hear that than about the President, however selfish those proclamations from the rooftops may be.
4. People talk about issues and don't know shit about them. This gets me the most. I won't even elaborate, but when you start going on and on and on about something and you are trying to convince me that the government, president, administration etc are assholes, but then you don't even have evidence or proof or even KNOW what you are talking about, SHUT UP I don't want to fucking hear it! Jesus Christ.
Sigh. Anyways. That's not like, aimed at anyone in particular, or even anyone I personally know, and for the record, people who think the president is the shit in a good way annoy me too, though honestly, when I hear people talking positively even if I completely disagree, it such a welcome change of pace I feel relieved.
I dunno. Maybe this is incredibly bitchy. But honestly, I am really trying to just focus on how lucky I am to live in America. Do you SEE what is happening in the rest of the world? We are so privileged and have so many rights and freedoms. I wouldn't trade places with anyone. And if I suggested "MOVE" to any of these people bitching they would probably look at me horrified and say "me? why ever would I move" Oh wait, because your life doesn't suck that hard. In fact it's pretty good. Cause you're AMERICAN. Of course I would like our country to be run better. I'd like people to have more respect for each other, and I'd like people to realize how blessed their lives are. I'd like people to stop being so fucking selfish. But that's not something that will change overnight, and people are going to have to change their lives before they realize these things and stop being jerks.

That was like the longest rant ever that began as "why I am depressed today" and evolved into "why you should all shut up"
boo.
I digress.
The real point:
I have no idea why I feel like this today.
I am going to chalk it up to the seasons. I forget what spring is like. I forget what it's like to sleep with the windows open, and to have the sun coming in through the screen door and to have plants in bloom and to be warm, and I think it just hit me all of the sudden and I got cranky. Yeah, let's let that be the explanation.

6 comments:

Elizabeth said...

ALLISON.










You still have not told the trash can story. That is all. :)
Lurve, E

Rachel said...

Hi! I never read your blog because I forget the address, but here I am. Remember: tomorrow is March which is always better than February... except when it isn't. Like, March of '03 was horrible...and '04 wasn't so great for me either. But, y'know, in general.

PS: I got a computer which means I have Paint and I HAD to test it, so I made a silly drawing. I'll send it to you. Oops, I'm hogging your blog.
Re: The President. Agree on so some points, not on others. Don't really feel like discussing though.

Rachel said...

Hi! I never read your blog because I forget the address, but here I am. Remember: tomorrow is March which is always better than February... except when it isn't. Like, March of '03 was horrible...nd '04 wasn't so great for me either. But, y'know, in general.

PS: I got a computer which means I have Paint and I HAD to test it, so I made a silly drawing. I'll send it to you. Oops, I'm hogging your blog.
Re: The President. Agree on so some points, not on others. Don't really feel like discussing though.

Rachel said...

And I double posted. Oh well, now you look twice as popular.

Al said...

ha its awesome that you read this at all.
this is my rage post. it was like, simmering inside, and then all of the sudden I totally lost it and went off. that's all.
I have to pee so I'm going. Rach, please start a blog and post those pictures you made with paint. They are beautiful. EE I will totally get on that trash can thing.

Jam said...

Rachel anything you write makes me smile. It's always bursting with personality and insight. I'm hogging the comments up at the moment too. I'm a mass commenter, LOL.