Monday, March 13, 2006

self-realizations on a plane

So I went to Virginia this weekend to visit my sister, which was AMAZING and maybe I will write about that later. Right now I have to write about some things I realized the other day, mostly while flying home, though one I realized while on the can last night, but I can't remember it right now. I was taking a pee and thought of it, like I had this epiphany on the john, but how epiphanic could it possibly be if I've forgotten it? eh, perhaps I will remember.

Realization 1: The Atlantic Ocean is my favorite because it just is. I think it is the best ocean and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. I have met West Coasters who like to get into that exhausting argument about which ocean is the best and they go on and on about the Pacific. Now I've seen the Pacific. I've stood in the Pacific. Been on a boat in the Pacific. I know it's beautiful and like most oceans, has a sense of mystery and magic surrounding it. But I have had time to observe the Atlantic. It's what I know well (not the entire Atlantic, I have to add, though I doubt that the west coasters have had time to study the entire Pacific, so to me this argument is all relative) and I like it. The Atlantic ocean changes colors and moods and can do so quickly. I've rarely, except for the early, early morning on windless summer days, seen it placid. It is bitchy and angry and it moves violently if it wants. It consumes things, boats and people, unforgivingly in these massive swells and walls of water. It is feared and loved simultaneously. I'm sure this is also true of the Pacific, but I am not sure. I know they have big waves, bigger than east coast waves, you know, good enough to surf upon. and I know that in certain parts of the Atlantic touched by the gulf stream the water is warm and tropical and clear and still. But in this argument I am only talking about MY Atlantic Ocean. And it's not placid or clear or turquoise and it's certainly not warm. It's roiling, it's dark and cloudy and holds lots of secrets, it's green and blue and gray and it's freezing most of the time, unless it's so hot here that it stops mattering what temperature the ocean is, life on land has become so unbearable that people march out into the sea seeking relief even in the coldest of water. Maybe this whole spiel is just silly. But I don't care. I don't care if it's just one girl's opinion either. It's my opinion and it only needs to matter to me. The Pacific has lots to offer. But the Atlantic, that's my ocean. The ocean that I've swum in more times than I could ever count. The ocean that I go to when I need just a little peace and quiet or just need a change of scenery or a place to ponder the vastness of the world by looking unobstructedly eastward to the horizon meeting the sea and nothing in between. It's the ocean I fly over, no matter which way I'm coming from, when I come home. It's the one I see every day on my way to work as I cross the Neponset River and follow it down into the harbor. It's the most beautiful to me. Keep your waves and your warm water, give me the bitchy Atlantic, thank you very much.

Realization 2: Sometimes I really hate my species. In general, I love people. Ok, maybe that's an overstatement. In general, I like people and I love LOVE certain people. I think humans are amazing and there are acts of selflessness and compassion and brilliance etc that amaze me every day and make me happy to be a human living on Earth. The end.
BUT
Then I see such rudeness and unkindness and insensitivity that it makes my head want to spin around like that little kid on the Exorcist. grrrrr. 1. Lack of self-constraint and respect for each other in public. Why do you have to PUSH me when I'm in your way? Why do you have to cut me in line? Why do you have to sigh and be all passive aggressive when I am in your way when you could just say "excuse me, I am trying to get by." No, I do not want to overhear your very loud phone conversation on the train. 2. Lack of respect for personal space. This is touchy. Sometimes, personal space preservation is completely impossible. I totally understand. But a lot of times, even in crowds, you can allow people a modicum of personal space. Why do you have to repeatedly grab the headrest of my seat on an airplane? Why do you have to stand on the subway in such a way that I feel your entire frontal section in gruesome detail against my back? Why do you have to stand with your ass in my face? Why do you choose to stand or sit RIGHT next to me on a subway car/train/platform/bus, etc, when the ENTIRE place is empty? On the other hand, I think it's so rude to take up an empty seat with your bags and packages, when someone else on the bus/train etc, needs that space. 3. Why doesn't anyone follow the rules any more? When I went to the National Zoo this weekend, every single rule posted there, was broken. "No banging on the glass" the glass was covered with fingerprints and small children tapping on the glass while their parents looked on talking about how cute little Jimmy was. "The animals in this exhibit are shy and sensitive. Please keep your voice down." I saw children and adults alike breaking this one "MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM LOOK AT THE RARE ENDANGERED GOLDEN CRESTED SPIDER EATING EAGLE" The bird has like, a minor heart attack and flutters around it's little habitat. "JIM OH JIM COME QUICK THE WOLVES ARE OUT OF THE DEN!! Billy, run and get daddy! JIM!!!! JIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM" A few times my sister and I were like "WTF?!!!!???!?!" At the cheetah exhibit, the caretakers were explaining about how the cats need there exercise and there were all these people there going "wha? huh? what's he saying? the cheetahs WHA?" A few times I said quietly "maybe if you shut the fuck up you would know what was going on" argh. Frustrating. Plus in the apehouse, that was the worst place of all. There was a whole sign "Apes are scared when you stare at them. Approach them with your back turned. Do not tap on glass. Do not raise your voice. Do not startle apes" We were in that place for about 10 seconds before I saw every single rule broken. That's when I sped through the exhibit and was out the exit door. No more I thought. These apes, I thought, could behave and are behaving better than 90% of the humans I've seen today, and we're looking at them in a zoo? hahhaahha if anyone should be on display, it should be THE RULE BREAKERS.

Realization 3 (this morning). Instead of fining a$$hole drivers, they should be given a test. Now this is only for people who drive aggressively/with road rage. Once they are pulled over, they should be made to roll the window down. The amount of their fine should then be divided by 10. Take that number and find that many cars. Have each car drive by the offender and shout insults at them, kind of like I did today when I saw an aggressive driver who had passed me 10 minutes before pulled over by the state police. With the window up, I turned towards him and screamed, literally scream "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DRIVING LIKE A DICK" and moved along. Now. If you have a $250 fine looming ahead, but you can sit through and tolerate 25 insults hurled at you, then you get off with just a warning. If you only make it through 10 insults before you crack, then you get $150 fine. I think it's a brilliant idea, but there are definitely problems associated with that type of punishment, I am sure. Ha.
I think I need to stop this rant.

AHHAHHAHA sometimes blogging is so fun. I know that so few people will read this and I can go on and on ranting in my own special and insane way :D silly me.

The reason why I have been irrationally depressed lately: NOT ENOUGH SUNLIGHT

I learned today at a nutritional conference that between November -April in this part of the country no amount of sunlight great or small will allow your body to produce vitamin D. So I'm probably not getting enough. Which leads to sadness and badness. I mean sometimes, not like, all the time. So one goal: take my vitamins with vitamin D!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I loved following this rollercoaster of realizations and color usage. Two thumbs up.

Al said...

hhahahh thank you very much. it is quite a rollercoaster, isn't it?