So if you know me, you know I like to plan. Yeah, I may procrastinate when it comes to school work and stuff like that, but in terms of "events" I love planning. A friend recently reminded me of a brunch Ame and I had here about a year ago. "My God, it was so AMAZING" she wrote. I had forgotten about it a bit, and then thinking back I thought "Damn, that sh*t was amazing if I do say so" saved mostly by Amy's scrambled eggs after I ruined a dozen that I made by keeping them in the oven to warm while the boys looked for champagne. Seriously though, that brunch was planned to hell, as was our recent PartyLite party, about which the rep said "your party had the best food ever." Hee.
Basically I like to plan more than parties, so I am probably well-suited to be planning for a wedding, even if it is years away. In the past two days I've pretty much picked out a reception site that I looove (hopefully Jam will like it too! otherwise it'll be back to google lol) and have formulated a few other ideas. Planning makes me happy. Planning makes me feel secure. I LIKE PLANNING.
I have a friend getting married soon who is a planner as well, but I don't know if her planning has fallen by the wayside or if she is planning only for herself or WHAT but the planning seems distinctly crappy in this case. Her wedding is 80 or so days away and I have no idea what is going on, except that I'm in it. That's about it. Everything about it makes me uneasy, not because I don't think it will be a fabulous time, but because I'm worried about the day living up to the bride's expectations in light of the fact that no one seems organized. In desperation, I looked up her gift registries in hopes of pinning down a gift. I had visions of grandeur for a gift, an art print I had seen a few years ago, but it's out in Saratoga Springs, and with graduation (I hope) finals, a ribbon-cutting ceremony, another wedding and two christenings in my midst I don't envision making the trip out to Saratoga to fetch the gift (it's too large and fragile to be shipped) so I turn to Macy's, Crate & Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond for inspiration. I find a large ticket item on sale and potentially splittable, so I email two of my fellow friends and bridesmaids.
One emails me back and is like "this is great, but can we include more people, or plan for xyz."
I like, FREAK OUT my reply. FLIPPAGE. I'm like "this wedding is driving me crazy, it's unorganized, I only have three free weekends left between April, May and June, it's going to be expensive, the hotel is going to be costly, blah blah freaking out blah, and I just want to get ONE THING accomplished."
My friend then replied with an equivalent of the fish slap in 50 First Dates, seen at 2min20sec in the video below
She basically said that the wedding is THEIR day and if they EFF it up it's not our fault. It's no one's fault. They never asked for help, and there comes a point where you need to let go. We're totally stressed about school and money and our own lives. If she doesn't have a shower, she doesn't have one. If the bachelorette party is a slumber party the night before at the hotel, so it goes. It's out of our hands.
I don't know why I didn't think of that. I mean I guess I did because I always say to Jam "It's not my problem" but I was making it my problem. A big part of me was stressing because I want her day to be perfect for her own sake....but I'm not in charge of planning, so why the eff am I so obsessed?? I needed fish slap to make me calm clearly, LOL. I'm going to take my friend's advice and help if asked, but otherwise, sit back, chillax, and try to get through my own stuff....I really think that's the best thing I can do for me right now, too...summer school isn't exactly appealing!!