Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Coworker Funnies.

I work with some really sweet people. Yes, finally, after years of suffering with the old assortment of wretched coworkers - it's some days, nothing short of miraculous to me how we've done a 180 over here.

Before moving, I worked with the one and only guy I've ever shared an office with here at the cancer hospital. Yeah, he's the one who said "goodnight girls" every night to me and my coworker and it went up my all-women's-college-educated ASS every time, but at the end of the day, I think is a nice person and would probably do anything for any of us, even though he has come across a little bit sexist, lol. He's a sucker for the damsel-in-distress act and is more than willing to move heavy equipment or set up computers for us females, or do other manly things such as fixing the printer (not that I can't do it, I am simply lazy). He even offered to show me the medical software he is piloting when I was bitching about our electronic medical records system and its general suckitude. Very sweet.

Yesterday I saw him in the kitchen - you would think this would not be a big deal, but since my move diagonally across the second floor, I rarely see him. "Hey stranger!" he shouted. Casual conversation ensued, in which he explained to me his penchant for stealing food and beverages from recently abandoned conference rooms. "I got a whole drawer of soda in the office!" he proclaimed excitedly. Seeing my opportunity, I mentioned donating platelets. "If you like free stuff, you should totally give it a try. There's the food, then there's all the other stuff I've ever received, shirts, towels, bags, cafeteria gift cards, free ice cream cards, raffle tickets for Red Sox tickets, etc, it's great, plus you get free parking, which is unheard of around here." I thought this would be an easy sell. He leaned in close to me "well I really would....but....." he leans back, as if to flex his muscles, "I hit the gym every morning six days a week. I'd have to skip a morning if I donated platelets...and uh....*sigh* *flex* I just can't give that up. It's a sacrifice I'm not willing to make."

uh. ok.

I said "Oh you're big and manly, surely you'd bounce right back." *pause for dramatic effect* "besides, I donate every other week and head home and go for a run." He did not seem convinced, no doubt due to the inferiority of "girl running" as opposed to "boy running." ha. At least I have this one consolation - should he ever donate, my platelet count probably kicks his platelet count's ass, since today mine was 436 (K), which I might add, was more than the sum of the counts two women donating next to me. Hoooolay hoooooo.

Also - did I mention the platelet donating disaster? I think not. Don't worry, it was nothing like this mofo, the granddaddy of all platelet-donating-related injuries:



Briefly, a few weeks ago I went to donate and got a guy who routinely seems nervous around me. I don't know if it's me, if he's just a nervous guy, or what, but as we went to stick the needle in my vein, I notice he's shaking. "WTF" is all I can think, but I try to stay calm around him, so he in turn calms down. He sticks the needle in and blood flies everywhere - on me, on the chair, on my blanket (miraculously not on my clothes), on the blood pressure cuff, on his glasses. Gah, it was nightmarish. Then the vein collapsed and my blood clotted in the pheresis machine. There was a lot of pulling the needle out and pushing it back in, lots of jiggling, before the guy's supervisor was like "Stop and switch arms!" Of course that didn't work because he proceeded to eff up the other arm. I actually felt bad for the poor guy, but my coworker Laura was like 'uh no, he should be fired!!' I figured it was a fluke.

Today I watched him stab someone else, as I was privileged to have the guy who is the BEST needle-sticker-inner ever. She yelped at one point. Luckily her head was turned away, so I didn't see what she did, which was blood pooling around her access site and dribbling down her arm, collecting between her forearm and the armrest. Ick. I was also glad to be a fast donate-r because I bounced out of there before she was finished and had a chance to survey the mess.

Speaking of mess, I got blood on my pants, because my finger stick bled like....I dunno, like I don't have a 436 platelet count, that's for damn sure:




But my pressure bandage matches my nail polish. Delight in the small things, folks:

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

101 Things in 1001 Days

Because I thrive on failure....

You all know I'm addicted to lists.
To me the "Day Zero Project" is the ultimate challenge. Ok maybe the "penultimate" (get it, ha ha ha ha) challenge, with the ultimate being an official bucket list, but Day Zero is definitely up there in terms of badass-ness.

Basically, you have 1,001 days to complete 101 things. The idea of this simultaneously thrills me and scares the sh*t out of me. Am I even creative enough to come up with 101 Things to do?

I'm working on it. And the list is coming...for anyone who even CARES ha ha ha

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Mean Girls

I go to a small, local gym. I tend to see the same people every morning, and while most of them are pretty buddy buddy, I keep to myself. I go in, throw on my sneakers, hit whatever machine I feel like hitting that day (though as time goes on the more I'm going on the bike, definitely my weakest area if I'm going to pull off this sprint tri thing). Then I shower and get ready for work. Usually this involves putting on whatever clothes I've hauled to the gym with me, throwing product in my wet hair, slapping on some makeup and jetting to the commuter rail.

Today I made plans to go out after work, plus I had a meeting and was potentially seeing an old coworker. I kind of wanted to look nicer than usual. I brought a casual dress to wear, and decided that I'd use the gym's hairdryer to dry my hair for a change. I also packed my straightening iron knowing that I can't blow out my hair nicely to save my soul.

This morning after my workout I waited for the "primping lady" to move out of the way. She dries her sweaty hair with a hair dryer and then puts in up in curlers while she does her makeup. This doesn't bother me - I mean it's kinda creepy that she dries out her sweaty hair, but as Jam pointed out, she probably doesn't work up a serious sweat like I do, which is valid. Her primping doesn't bother me either - personally I feel slightly awkward doing my makeup in front of the mirror with a locker room full of people, but I try to be fast and not too vain about it, lol. What bothers me about primping lady is that she sprays about half a can of Aqua Net on her curlers before she takes them out and leaves, leaving the lingering sent of CFC's in the air (j/k CFC's aren't in hairspray anymore, but I'm going for drama here). When I went over to the vacant counter to start my own beauty regimen, I hacked up a lung full of Extra Hold, and fanned the air to try and dissipate the smell.

We-eeell this must've pissed off primping lady and her cronies, because when I flipped back up from drying my hair (I dry upside down when I'm going for speed/convenience) I caught them in the mirror, silent and staring at me. Then it was as though it clicked inside their empty heads that the dryer was off and they all went about their business. Yikes! What'd she say? Did she mock the shortness of my dress, accuse me of getting hair on the counter, or delight in my unsightly and pale legs? Is it me being paranoid? I definitely didn't imagine this. Did I break some sort of gym protocol and were the others shocked at my oblivious breach of etiquette? WTF?

It definitely reminded me of the scene from Mean Girls, the one where Cady walks into the gym after the Burn Book has caused a riot amongst the junior girls and says this:

"Have you ever walked up to people and realized they were just talking about? Have you ever had happen 60 times in a row, I have"

Obviously it wasn't 60 people, it was about 6, but it was that same icky feeling, that same "ok....what did I do....and why are you talking about it." I think I would've felt better if I had something stuck to my butt or something.

Though honestly in the grand scheme of life, what the hell do I care? Talk away b*tches, talk away. I'll only be going to that gym for another three months anyways, and after that it's not like I'll see these people again. HELL I don't see them outside the gym now, why am I worried? I guess it's just that I'd never really felt that icky feeling before. Thanks middle-aged women for finally giving me that experience.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Wedding Vent

OK I just need to do a little wedding guest vent here - b/c the wedding guests who see this will probably laugh, and the ones pissing me off probably read the wedding blog, but not this.

OMG.

This morning I receive an email "Your wedding website looks great, but you should have directions and a forum for guests so we can find rides."

OK so my sister, because she's SMART, embedded directions in the website subheadings "Ceremony" and "Reception" - clearly this person has NOT read the whole website, or she would have seen the stupid freakin' directions. UGH. Next, it is not possible to have a forum on the website. OK I'll give her that. I checked with Jamaal and we both decided that a facebook page might actually be pretty handy. I made sure the facebook group was "secret" and non-searchable. I explained to guests that it's a good place to chat and talk about details such as carpooling or rides to/from the airport. I even posted a few things in the discussion section. I figured that we could have people share wedding photos there too, when the deed is done, lol.

People started accepting the invites I sent out right away. What fun! I was sooo excited.
Then someone, the husband of one of Jam's friends, someone I actually think is great and funny and cool says "what time does the wedding start."

Wait. Seriously?
I mean, maybe I am totally overreacting, but you use this lame facebook group to ask me what time the wedding starts? Yeah, that's why people MAIL you a PAPER invitation with STUFF printed on it, stuff like, I dunno, the stupid day and time?! ARghghghgh.

I tell him to look on the real wedding website. Because at the very least, if you can't wait for the paper invite, frickin' look on the official site we've established to bring critical information to our guests, not some bullsh*t facebook group with 10 people in it.

Gah.
Rant over.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Oil Spill Disaster

When I watch the news and see the massive oil slick in the Gulf, it honestly makes me nauseous. I'm not even kidding, the mixture of dread, sadness and knowing all combine to make me a little bit queasy.

There are so many thoughts running through my head about this disaster. Didn't anyone have a plan in place for this sort of thing? It certainly doesn't seem like it. And in retrospect, when I hear the details of how far down the platform had drilled to get oil, I think "what the f*ck business did we think we had doing this?" I mean COME ON, we are a nation of smartass people, why have we sat back and not found a solution, an alternative, to offshore drilling? I work in a place that's curing cancer, for eff's sake, we are smart enough to come up with a new plan...why haven't we?

Oh wait. Probably because of all the people like the rich people with vacation homes in scenic vistas which also happen to be the perfect spot for a wind farm. Right. The same people who want to build their megamansions on eroding beach, mow down forests for their vacation cabin, shoot wolves from helicopters, and crush piping plovers under the tires of their gas-guzzling SUV's. But I digress...

I guess the reason I'm so cynical about this oil spill is because I've been there before. In 2003 I worked for a summer helping out with this environmental disaster. Let me tell you, compared to poor Louisiana, we were damn lucky. The Buzzards Bay oil spill took only 500 birds, which was a travesty at the time, but for NOLA and the gulf, 500 birds is gonna be the tip of the iceberg. The USCG, despite their best efforts, will absolutely NOT be able to contain the spill - I mean, we kind of already know that. Let me tell you what's going to happen (in my opinion/estimate): it's going to spread, it's going to wash up on the beach, and it's going to start coating and killing things. What it doesn't get on the shore, the slick will get as it slowly starts sinking to the bottom of the ocean, drifting through one layer of sea at a time, one ecosystem at a time, until in reaches the bottom and sits, smothering clams, shellfish, crabs, any other benthic creatures you have living down there. The birds are going to be absolutely covered with oil, and while some rescuers may be able to catch and clean them, for many it will be too late; birds instinctually preen their feathers, and whether or not they're fouled with oil is no exception. Feather preening will lead to oil ingestion, and this will lead to death. There will be carcasses washing onshore for weeks. Even after the oil is visibly gone, dead crap will be washing up for months.

My hope is that the cleanup is at least somewhat successful. The fact that Buzzards Bay and Barney's Joy made the recovery that they did is, in my inexpert opinion, nothing short of a miracle. I send good cleanup/recovery karma down to the Gulf, because they surely need it. It will be interesting to see how Obama's plans for offshore drilling change in the wake of this tragedy (hopefully they will). It will also be interesting to see how (or if) opinions change towards alternative forms of energy in the coming months. I am seriously keeping my fingers crossed. It's almost humorous to compare the environmental impact of a wind farm to the environmental impact of a massive oil spill. It's like comparing apples and a nuclear warhead. Let's get it together, people.

For me? I think it's time to think about moving closer to work where I can depend on public transportation and researching hybrid vehicles. Yeah, I dream of a brand new Subaru, but enough is enough, it's definitely time to break up with oil...a little bit at a time...

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Weird Formatting, The Knot Ticker

Ah, my blog is looking strange!
I added a new wedding ticker here....I love theknot.com one but their site is undergoing maintenance and I didn't want a huge obnoxious knot.com advertisement hanging out at the top of the blog. The new one is a little more subdued, but maybe a bit more refined? ha ha ha who knows.

I am off to donate platelets. Last time it didn't work out so well, my blood splurted right out from my vein all over my arm, the tech, and the blood pressure cuff. Hopefully this time I will have more success...

Picking Up Where I Left Off a Year Later

I began working on this list nearly a year ago. I found it out there in internet land and it's kind of fun. I think it'll help me come up with those 100 things in 1001 days list I was talking about yesterday...

Found this on someone's blog. The instructions are simple: just copy the list of 100 accomplishments, highlight the ones you've achieved in bold, and elaborate as desired.

It's big. But it's fun.

001. Started my own blog. Yep. I had three, two Africa-themed, and this one. The others have fallen by the wayside.

002. Slept under the stars. I dozed under them...out in the Mara...but not full-on sleep

003. Played in a band. HS marching band count?

004. Visited Hawaii.

005. Watched a meteor shower. Ok this is an "I think so" Every summer I lie out on our dock over the lake in NH and watch the stars fall. I guess it counts!

006. Given more than I can afford to charity. It's a vice. Not a bad one. But the whole "living beyond your means" bit comes up lol.

007. Been to DisneyWorld/Land. 1992. Oh the good times.

008. Climbed a mountain. (Kilimanjaro calls me sometimes.)

009. Held a praying mantis. Holbrook....never in Hanover.

010. Sung a solo. Kindergarten graduation "L for the lovelight in your eyes." Never again since.

011. Bungee jumped. You must be kidding. NO NO NO.

012. Visited Paris.

013. Watched lightning at sea. I can't quite remember, but surely on one of our mainland/Nantucket journeys. We were in a hurricane once....

014. Taught myself an art from scratch. A lot has been self taught with people weighing in.

015. Adopted a child. (Maybe someday)

016. Had food poisoning. Oh hells yes. J.F.K. School lunch: fish. Ugh. Kenya, the V-D (vomiting-diarrhea) One way to find out who your true friends are is to have terrible food poisoning around them - if one holds your hands while you go on the toilet and throw in the sink, and the other doesn't hate you forever for hogging the bathroom while she throws up in a trash barrel with HOLES in it, then there you have it, true friendship 4EVA.

017. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. (No. Next time we go!)

018. Grown my own vegetables. Tomatoes only, but one day much more.

019. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.

020. Slept on an overnight train. I don't think a 3AM departure from Penn counts...

021. Had a pillow fight. Absolutely.

022. Hitchhiked (not sure I ever will.)

023. Taken a sick day when you're not ill. um. obviously. But not a lot! Maybe 3 times total!

024. Built a snow fort. Hells yes! Only reason to live in such a wintry clime!

025. Held a lamb. As it came out of its mom. It sounds gross, but it was freakin' amazing and I hope someday I'll get to do it again here: http://www.heifer.org/site/c.edJRKQNiFiG/b.201575/ (who will do this with me??)

026. Gone skinny dipping. Beginning of every semester at Smith, in the pond (ew!) and at home of course...that infamous night. heh.


027. Run a marathon. (a half. hope to change that soon)

028. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.

029. Seen a total eclipse. It was a lunar eclipse. Solar: only partial.

030. Watched a sunrise or a sunset. I love watching the sunrise. Love love it.
Seaplane over the Mountains

Small Ripples


031. Hit a home run. (can't remember!!)

032. Been on a cruise. Alaska. It was glorious.

033. Seen Niagara Falls in person.

034. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors. (not unless we're talking about the cradle of life, the Great Rift Valley!)

035. Seen an Amish community.

036. Taught myself a new language.

037. Had enough money to be satisfied. Here and there. I think when Jam and I marry we might truly experience "satisfaction" because neither one of us are "we must have the newest car, the biggest house" type people.

038. Mastered the cartwheel.

039. Skimmed the surface of water on waterskis. (odd considering the opportunities to do so!)

040. Seen Michelangelo's David.

041. Sung karaoke. Cathay Hanover, "It's Raining Men"

042. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt. More than once! It's great.

043. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.

044. Visited Africa. Twice, and I hope for more returns. It holds my heart.

Kili in Clouds and a Zebra

045. Walked on a beach by moonlight. YES. And saw blue phosphorescent algae in the sand!

046. Been transported in an ambulance.

047. Had my portrait painted.

048. Gone deep sea fishing.

049. Been to the Sistine Chapel in person.

050. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

051. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. Snorkeling in Ketchikan, Alaska. Amazing. Scuba scares me :P

052. Kissed in the rain.

053. Played in the mud. Kenya again.

054. Gone to a drive-in theater. (No but I found one in Mass and we must go!)

055. Been in a movie.

056. Visited the Great Wall of China.

057. Started a business. Landscaping, 97-02. Made good money. Gave it up to work for the Audubon Society.

058. Taken a martial arts class.

059. Visited Russia.

060. Served at a soup kitchen. Mainspring House, thanks to Jr. High Fellowship

061. Sold Girl Scout cookies. But of course.

062. Gone whale watching. Stellwagon Bank and Gulf of Maine.

063. Got flowers for no reason. Jamaal has sent them "just because."

064. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma. Blood, here and there, platelets every two weeks.

065. Gone sky diving.

066. Visited a Nazi concentration camp site.

067. Bounced a check. Oh yes. Actually, I overdrew my bank account 7 times in one day in January. Granted it was a processing thing at the bank....but still lol

068. Flown in a helicopter. MSP Helicopter N20SP. Crashed in the Charlers River two months later.

069. Saved a favorite childhood toy up until my late 20s. Um do you think I would ever give away teddy and purple doggie after they survived being left behind in Canada and made the 3,000 mile journey home in a shoe box. HELLS NO.

070. Visited the Lincoln Memorial. I would like to see it again though.

071. Eaten caviar. It's too salty, though I like to pretend I have refined taste and will eat it anyways.

072. Pieced a quilt. Yes indeed.

073. Stood in Times Square. It is daylight even at 2AM there!

074. Toured the Everglades.

075. Been fired from a job.

076. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London.

077. Broken a bone.

078. Been on a speeding motorcycle. Probably not "speeding" but it was fast enough for me!

079. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

080. Published a book. I made two blurb books! I'm counting it!

081. Visited the Vatican.

082. Bought a brand new car. (my next forester will be new)

083. Walked in Jerusalem.

084. Had my picture in the newspaper. 1st grade, 3rd grade, college, for my job. I'm soo famous LOL.

085. Read the entire Bible.

086. Visited the White House. Got the super secret tour.

087. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. This is a weird 50% one. Participated in goat slaughter. I did not draw the knife across its throat, but did carve it up in the kitchen. It was gross. Goats taste like they smell.

088. Had chickenpox.

089. Saved someone's life.

090. Not known that 90 comes after 89, not 91. laaaame

091. Met someone famous. Minor celebs/sports figures. Good enough for me!

092. Joined a book club.

093. Lost a loved one.

094. Had a baby.

095. Seen the Alamo in person.

096. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.

097. Been involved in a law suit.

098. Owned a cell phone. A couple, actually.

099. Been stung by a bee. More than once. Ouch!

100. Ridden an elephant. I know I did at those seedy fairs and local zoos. Poor elephants!

I have a 52% completion rate on this one...which honestly is a bit of a relief given my 37% on the list from yesterday. Maybe I do better with long-term goals??

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Things I Didn't Get Done This Year

I find that I am funniest when I am filled with self-mockery and deprecation, especially when telling a story. People love stories where I make myself look like an ass - take my favorite story from Kenya, for example, the now infamous "Bunny Story." It almost always gets a laugh.

Lists are no exception to the mockery and deprecation. Sometimes I almost wonder if I make lists because I KNOW I will not complete them...thereby giving me a reason to make ANOTHER list. It's a vicious cycle - there's the "good" side of my brain that says "go! achieve! accomplish! be brilliant!" and then there's the wicked side of my brain that laughs and points and says "ahahahahah I sooo knew you wouldn't get that done."

Some may be upset by the lack of accomplishment, but I have decided not to worry too much about it. Because one makes a Bucket List in order to have a list of things to do before one dies....and this always leads me to think that with the completion of a Bucket List one does not find an overwhelming sense of self-satisfaction but DEATH.
Therefore in my lack of completion I have, for another year, cheated death!! VICTORY!

Seriously though, here's what I did and didn't do:

27 Things I Want to Do Before I'm 28:

1. Go somewhere new and somewhat faraway NO
2. Make a superfluous and ridiculous cake for no reason YES! I made not 1 but 2 bee cakes
3. Finish my running excel file bird life list (uber DORK!) there is plenty of time to be dorky!
4. Make a blurb photo book Yes - made two!
5. Run the Boston Marathon* No. Stress fracture, shin splints blah blah blah
6. Take more photos of everything, especially people Yes
7. Become insanely and enviously organized ha ha ha yeah right
8. Finish a long-abandoned craft project (under the sea cross stitch? sr year calligraphy project?)
I count the lizard ridge afghan because I bought most of the yarn for it years ago:
Lizard Ridge Afghan
9. FTDS and move in with Jamaal, opinions and judgements be damned No, but that's because the opportunity did not present itself. I will be doing this this year, and soonish. And actually there won't be judgments or opinions. I must've been very angsty when I wrote the original list!
10. Memorize a poem. Or two. "Bright Star, were I would as steadfast as thou art..not...alone..." um. No.
11. Set the bar higher at work- I'm not organized, I'm not putting in 100%, and that makes me sad - Kinda sorta.
12. GET OUT OF DEBT DAMMIT, ALLISON! ha ha ha no
13. Spend more quality time with Jamaal. We hardly have any down time or time to do fun things beyond go out to dinner. I want to do fun stuff for a change (not that food isn't fun, but you know). I want to do photo-worthy things. eh No
14. See a Red Sox game LIVE (bonus points for a stadium other than Fenway!) Nope. Damn.
15. Skip work, even if just for a day, to do something furtive and fun, like go to the beach. ooooh the indulgence! Uh, I took a personal day for a facial! Does that count?
16. Have the wedding planned out almost to completion so I enjoy the day Not precisely, but I'm doing OK
17. Take advantage of what Boston has to offer (restaurants, museums, shows etc) No. I suck.
18. Help more people and animals. I donate platelets and all, but it's kind of removed from the situation. Uh, ha ha ha I comforted a catbird while it died in my backyard...and I totally saved a woodpecker this Christmas. Oy.
19. Bird watch more - see five new species! (neeerrrddd alert) Yes. Super-Nerdy
20. Take better care of my skin (beyond sunscreen, I don't do much of anything) This is a yes. I just bought a Clarisonic too (dying to use it, Sephora is taking its sweetass time sending it!)
21. Chillax more. I am overbooked always, and feel guilty when I don't want to go to something, but have nothing to do otherwise. Have to stop feeling guilty too. Oh GOD no, I am not chillaxed. I have less guilt though.
22. Conquer a fear (this will be the hardest thing on the list!) Um. I don't think I really did this....unless you count "letting Jam pick a DJ" as one, lol
23. Reduce that knitting stash! No...BUT I did not add to it. Key.
24. Visit the Mapparium NO
25. Reconnect with someone YES
26. Spend more time in my kayak taking in the world. YES
27. Make a five-course dinner for me and Jamaal. I don't even know what those five courses would be really, but it's the kind of thing you hear in movies, and I'm gonna do it! YES! OMG and it was so good, even if the main course was spaghetti and heart-shaped meatballs!

I have a 37% completion rate here. Eck, that is bad! I am thinking of adding to this list and making one of those 100 things in 1000 days list, because I am self-centered and like thinking about all the stuff I want to do and goals and sh*t. Maybe that's what I'll do tomorrow to escape the mundane happenings at the office. Maybe....

Friday, April 23, 2010

For the Cat Lovers

Forgive me for my lack of fluency in lolcat speak ;)

Finepix 2009 045

"I'm sittin' on ur table, vanquishin' ur efforts"

Finepix 2009 024

"NO MORE CRAFTY TIME"

Finepix 2009 085

"I'm sleepin' on ur stuff, preventin' accomplishments"

I admit it - I miss the kittens.

Finepix 2009 073

Macaws say "Come closer so we can bite UR FACE!"

Friday, April 09, 2010

Spring Cleaning

Whew.

Just spent about three hours despamming my blog comments and deleting draft posts. I thought I was on my 600th post, but after deleting the drafts I realized I am about 25 posts short. Dang - I was hoping to hit 600 on my bday! Oh well...

In reviewing all the comments, I found some hilarious stuff. There were some really sweet anonymous or one-time commenters, especially on my mbta posts. There was one post I wrote that was called something like "I wish you would go away and f*cking die" Oh, the angst of my days with a particularly troublesome coworker, she really brought out the worst in me!! Ironically enough, I'm sitting in the office with one other coworker right now who is completely quiet - it's hard to believe that four years ago I was so incredibly miserable!

I also found interesting posts filled with lists of things I wanted to do, failures, accomplishments, crafts, lists of complaints...and videos, most notably of THE BRUISE:
http://risetovotesir.blogspot.com/2008/01/5632-post-about-my-bruise.html

Freaky.

Anyways, I do have to get back to work after wasting so much time on blog maintenance. First though, I will quickly wrap up petsitting.

The goats were NOT escaping because their manure pile was too high. Oh no. I can't believe I was dumb enough to think that was the cause. The goats succeeded in escaping three additional times before I figured out what I really needed to do. They were pouncing on their pen fence over and over until they either broke through it or trampled it to the ground and then pranced their merry way out. The final straw was coming "home" to find them in the FRONT YARD. Some random guy was scritching their heads and keeping them entertained...and by entertained I mean keeping them from running out into the street and getting nailed by a car or a fast-moving mail truck or hearse (there's a funeral home at the end of the street!). The guy introduced himself as the neighbor's grandson, adding to the introduction "You should really build a better fence." Um hi, I don't actually own this house, but yes, a better fence should be built." I actually came home early that day because I had to take my own pet birdie to the vet (he's fine) so I shut Penny and Copper in their goat house and took off for the vet, resolving to fix the fence when I returned.

The fence repair took a looong time. When I finally got back from the vet (after stopping at my house to get my bird's cage - I had to move him in with me because he needed twice-daily medication) and changed, gathered tools, etc, it was already late afternoon...I settled in for a long afternoon/evening of fence repair.

First the holes:
IMG_9959

It's hard to see here, but Penny and Copper basically destroyed about a 6 foot-wide section of fencing.

They used a team approach when smushing down the fence. Copper would weaken it:
IMG_9961

Then Penny would deliver the final blows:
IMG_9963

I knew I had to rewire the fencing sections that were completely destroyed, and reinforce the width of the fence with additional posts I found lying around the yard.
IMG_9965

The goats did not tax themselves whatsover, but rather sat back and watched:
IMG_9966

And of course, I cut my hand:
IMG_9969

Lulu the Grumpy Dog was my steadfast companion throughout the entire ordeal. She had decided to become my friend (probably after all the peace offerings of cheese and turkey pepperoni) and continued to sit by whatever area of the yard I was busy repairing. Once I finished the fence around the pen, I worked on reinforcing the fence around the yard. This was more of a quick and dirty fix, which involved wiring an old portion of the stockade fence to the wire fence; couldn't get the wire fence taut enough to keep it from bending every which way, and I knew that as long as the fence was bendable the goats could escape. The stockade fence, though a bit run down, would block the goats' exit from the yard.

Obviously, there was a lot of stress over the next few days whenever I had to leave and go to work. Would I return home to find the goats frolicking in the middle of the street?? Luckily, I turned out to be quite skilled in the field of temporary fence repair. Score.
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This meant I was able to turn my attention to the other creatures, like the 28 exotic birds in my care, Lulu the dog, and the two kitty cats.

Now there's a group of people out there that hate cats. I understand that some of them have had bad experiences or are allergic or whatever, but I think there might be some that don't really have any legit reason why. I totally respect irrational fears, I have a ton, but to just hate something for the sake of hating? STOPPIT. Because I learned during my two week stint that cats are awesome, hilarious, and easy. These two made my petsitting life fabulously entertaining (except the time they were playing in a paper feed bag at 3AM and making an ungodly racket):

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The cats were so low-key, however, they almost resulted in my ultimate petsitting FAIL. The homeowners were scheduled to come home on a Tuesday night. On Monday, I went crazy cleaning the house, and on Tuesday morning I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off emptying the trash, cleaning to toilets and tub, sweeping, etc. I packed the car and trundled off to the mbta lot, planning to stop by later that night to drop off the house keys.

When I drove up around 6:30pm, I could tell no one was home. I rang the bell and knocked and Lulu went NUTS. Finally, I used my key to get in. It was a little chilly in the house - had someone been home with the door open and left again? I called out - nothing. NO cats either, and the two of them usually came bounding from wherever the moment they heard the door open. It was eerie. As I went through the house I realized everything was exactly how I left it. I called to the cats. Nothing. I scratched Lulu's head, checked on the rest of the birds, and then locked up. Weird. I figured the homeowners would be home soon, so I tried not to worry...but I was stressed. They were supposed to arrive home around 1pm. Where were they? Where were the cats? What happened? Why was it cold in the house? Was it me, or was there a problem? What to do?

I sent out an email to our volunteer group. Someone replied "oh they're back in the US, safe and sound"

NOT HELPFUL. WHERE ARE THEY? AND WHEN WILL THEY BE HOME?

Finally, someone who had been on the trip emailed me back "we are running very late and won't be in til 12AM." Thank you, that is the kind of constructive information I wanted. I used this as my excuse to head back to the house. I was feeling very uneasy about the disappearance of the cats, wanted to put the goats in their pen and let Lulu out to pee, and make up the homeowner's bed (I had slept in it) because I had stripped in that morning and knew the last thing they'd want to do after 18 hours of traveling was find some sheets and make up the bed.

When I arrived at the house, the scene from earlier in the evening replayed itself. Lulu excited to see me, the birds chirping a greeting....and no cats. After doing some of the basic chores, I began a room by room search of the kitties, opening closets, checking every nook and cranny of the barn, searching the yard. Nothing. Finally to calm my own mind I told myself that they were probably hiding from me on purpose and as soon as the homeowners came back they'd be prancing around the house like always. My next step was to make the bed.

You see where I'm going with this, right?

I opened the bathroom linen closet.

And out sprang two cats.

Oh.My.God.

I used the linen closet to hang up my work clothes for the next day, otherwise they'd be covered with cat hair by the next morning. On Tuesday morning in my rush, I had left the linen closet door open while getting dressed, and then closed it during my last run-through of the house without checking inside. The cats must've gone in there while I was getting dressed or checking the house. That had been at 7AM. I checked the closet 13.5 hours later at 8:30PM. EPIC EPIC FAIL.

Naturally I felt awful, especially when the cats glared at me after leaping out of the closet. OMG. I felt like the worst person in the world. The only clutch things? The cats are so awesome that they didn't pee or poo in the linen closet and I discovered my mistake before the people came home. Thank GOD.

That was the crowning jewel of my petsitting experience, which ended up being "dampened" by the homeowners complaining about the fact that they lost their boiler while they were away. Apparently their basement, accessible only from outside of the house with a key they did not leave me, flooded on Monday night, and the boiler died. That's why the house was chilly and there was no hot water on Tuesday morning. The blame was publicly, though indirectly, placed on me via a group email. It kind of sucked. All in all, the experience was rewarding, and I was paid fairly well for it, but the complaints and accusations in the end left a bitter taste in my mouth. What can you do though really? Oh well. It couldn't have been THAT bad since I was asked to petsit again in October, but I was actually secretly glad that the wedding was my excuse to say "no."

In the end I also learned a lot. I never want to own any exotic birds besides the ones I have now. Cats are awesome. Goats are a handful. Dogs can be won over with cheese and pepperoni....oh, and basements flood.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

MBTA Bus Hits, Kills Bicyclist - Most Popular News Story - WCVB Boston

MBTA Bus Hits, Kills Bicyclist - Most Popular News Story - WCVB Boston

When I saw this headline I thought "It has to be the 39 bus"
Why?
Put it this way - I don't ride the 39 bus a TON, maybe once or twice a week from Brigham Circle to Copley.
Some of the drivers are nice. Most are not.
Most ARE good drivers.
A few are miserable. Yesterday I had to stand because there were no seats. I finally had to squish into a seat at the Prudential stop.
Why? The driver was one of those who would accelerate hard when the opportunity presented itself and then SLAM on the brakes. This happened about 10 times - 10 bad times, with my shoulder feeling like it was about to be dislocated as I swung from the pole. The way the guy was driving was TERRIBLE and felt dangerous.

In defense of the MBTA, I have encountered lovely bus drivers. One guy used to wake me up when I fell asleep on the CT3 so I would get off at Andrew Station. He knew I was working and in school and EXHAUSTED - we talked about it a lot in Melnea Cass traffic. Another lady I encountered used to try her hardest to be perfectly on schedule because one of her regular passengers had to transfer to another bus which literally would be pulling away as our bus would stop. I think overall the MBTA bus drivers are patient and skilled, absolutely. The ones on the 39 route, however, are nothing to write home about. And given the congestion at Huntington and South Huntington, the ridiculous mazework mishmash of trolley tracks intermingled with traffic and criss-crossing streets, and the fact that SOME of the bikers in the LMA area have no regard for the rules/laws of biking whatsoever, I'm not even that surprised someone got killed down there...it's sad though...sad like the family that let their dad/grandfather with Alzheimer's walk the streets alone, but that is a whole other story...

Friday, April 02, 2010

I am coming back soon....

...I promise. I even have more pet pics...

It's just that it's been raining here, a lot too. The sun is finally out though, and it's too bright and cheerful to be brooding in my office behind the computer.

I'm out :)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Kenya

More about housesitting, coming home to goats on the front lawn, and an eagle-sized hyacinth macaw deciding we're friends. For now, some states from Africa Expat Wives Club:

"Comparing Development:

Wealth - Average income per person. Kenya: $355, UK $24,323

Food - Daily calorie supply as a % of needs (this one really got me!).
Kenya 89%, UK 130%.
(I know that these facts are pretty obvious if you think about it but put like this it's still shocking.)

Education - % of children attending secondary school. Kenya 20%, UK 83%.

Health - Number of people per doctor. Kenya 10,130, UK, 300.

TVs - Number of sets per 1,000. Kenya 26, UK 521.

Cars - Number of cars per 1,000 people. Kenya 15, UK 476."

It made me very sad. I know these numbers would look even worse if you compare Kenya and the US. I mean, look at number of people per doctor in Kenya - 10,130!!

It made me think about Haiti too. I wonder how Haiti measures up against Kenya. I think it might be much worse. This is why I get made when I'm 'trollin' facebook and see "f*ck Haiti, we should be helping people in the US' We should, but seriously? The disparities must be overwhelming between the poor in the US and even the middle-class in places like Haiti and Kenya.

I remember showing my parents a picture of Salaash's house in Kiserian. He lived in a corrugated tin shack that had multiple rooms AND a floor and furniture....a couch and an armchair in the "living room" with pictures of Jomo Kenyatta on the wall. He had built a kitchen off the house, and his shamba was well-planted, teeming with produce. His milk cow was fat and healthy, and his yard was full of chickens and a dog about to have puppies. He even had a wild bird feeding station that his wife kept stocked with seeds and fruit. He was "well-off," all things considered, and lived much more comfortably than many around him, yet my parents were horrified by the living conditions - the house itself and lack of running water and electricity. When I told him that he was well-off, they asked me what the "poor people" lived it....it made me sad.

It made me sad when I showed Salaash a picture of my snow-covered house and he gasped at the sight of a lamp shining through the window. "Ah-lee-zohn," he said, "you have electricity inside your house?!"

Disparity indeed. Sigh.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

GOATS Part I

Here's Part I of the goat saga. More later, with pics, after I take my own bird to the vet :(

Saturday morning I awoke to more face licks from Lulu and Nancy...at 7AM ugh. I woke up that early for three reasons 1. I had to clean this place 2. my FP friend Bev was coming by to pick up some food for the RI shelter (the pallet I had to drag across the driveway, which weighed a mere 170 pounds) and 3. I was going to The Collection (squeeee) in Natick with my mother and sister in search of a mother of the bride dress and assumed we'd have to leave earlyish.

I got my chores mostly done, including a FULL clean of the conure room, decent clean in the amazon room, swept out the cockatiel aviary, cleaned up after the massive macaws, Burt and Jubjub, emptied the kitty litter (ewwww), fed the cats and dog, and fed the goats. I met Bev and the spazzy little dog she's watching, and then decided to do a final sweep. At 9:15 my sister texted saying that she and my mom were leaving at 9:30. Crap! I begged for 15 extra minutes, dropped everything and hit the shower, and somehow managed to look decent enough to go out to The Collection, hoping my mom would find a dress and I'd find the sparkle navy Louboutins my cheap ass has been secretly craving as wedding shoes in place of the 24.99 Nine West's I bought last fall.

Well I didn't find the sparkle Louboutins (ok just cause they were last season doesn't mean they need to disappear, right?) and my mom didn't find a dress. As the highbrow saleswoman in Neiman Marcus told us "Oh, you are too early to be buying for a fall wedding. The designers won't release their fall line until July." Whoops, sorry for being fashion homicides, lady. We did get stuff at Sephora (thank you Nars, for releasing the foundation color "Siberia" to match my pale-like-a-vampire-but-not-sparkly skin and sometimes frigid disposition), I scored sparkly ridiculous nail polish at Trade Secret as well as "Meet Me at the Star Ferry" from OPI's Hong Kong collection, a sweet bday card for a friend AND fun tupperware stuff at The Container Store (nerdy I know) topped off with a burger from the Met Bar and BEN AND JERRY'S. My day was complete.

I came home and gave the goats some carrots and actually played outside with Lulu (!) for a bit. We ran back and forth through the yard, and it was great fun and exercise. I settled down to scrapbooking, and after a couple of hours, I heard the amazons doing their alert call. It's a screaming, eardrum-splitting call that they repeat over and over and over again. Sometimes they do this for no reason, they often do this at dawn and dusk - maybe a nighttime/sunrise call in the wild?, and sometimes they do it because something is legit out of whack. I decided to check up on things since the calling was persistent and loud. I ran into the amazon room and didn't see anything out of line (ie one of the macaws hadn't escaped), so I thought it was just their nighttime ritual. Until I saw a flash of white outside the mud room window...whose dog was that?

EXCEPT......

IT WASN'T A DOG....

It was Miss Penny...

"SH*T" I yelled.

I pulled on my knee high boots (so essential here) and whipped open the door to find not only Penny but also Copper. How the heck did they escape? I kicked myself for being a moron. I must've left the gate open after giving them carrots. Eff. I ran back inside to grab a bag of carrots, pretty sure bribery was my only option. Penny seemed to love running up and down the stairs, and Copper just stood at the foot, watching the whole circus. I thought I remembered that you could sometimes lead goats if you grabbed one of their horns. I tried with Penny, because she's smaller. Well she did not like this one bit and proceeded to run in a circle, burning my hand skin with her horn. Damn! I decided that I'd just walk to the pen and see if they'd have the sense to follow me.

Well goats are a lot smarter than people think. Copper saw me walking towards her house with a half dozen carrots and BOLTED across the yard (it is a big yard, btw) followed by Penny, out of sheer curiosity. You can imagine my surprise when I got to the gate to see it closed. Wait. So they didn't walk out of the pen. Hmm. I opened the door, hoping they'd run right in. They simply watched me from the front of the pen. When I started breaking up carrots and putting them in their food bowl, Penny ran up to the side of the pen and put her front hooves on the fence, trying to climb over. She realized she couldn't do this, so she ran around to the gate and strolled right in, followed by copper. Oh relief! I shut the gate behind them, lured them into their house, and closed them in for the night.

I figured I'd better test the fence for weaknesses in an attempt to find out how they escaped; if I could find the spot, I could rig up a temporary hold that would keep them in until the homeowners came back. Nothing. There were places where the fence was flexible, and there were small gaps between fence and ground, but no way could two stocky goats get through. Then I turned and realized the problem. The goats' manure mound was about chest high. I could see their cloven hoof-marks in the mound of crap and hay. Penny had used the fence as leverage and the mound as a landing zone, making her leap over the fence child's (goat's) play. The good news? I had identified the problem, so when I go back to work on Monday, I won't come home to find two goats gallivanting in the back yard. The bad news? I had to reduce the height of the mound via pitchfork. UGH.

I wish someone had been there to take a picture of me: me, the girl who says one of the best weekends of her life was spent helping birth baby lambs and planting a food bank garden at a Heifer Project farm, me, the woman who tells her fiance that when they win millions in the lottery or earn it through his first bestseller they'll be moving to Western Mass to start a charitable organic farm - there I was, in wedge heeled Sperry Topsider boots (they are fantastic in the city and in the rain, and were great at the house when I only had to walk to the goat pen and back), Ann Taylor sparkle/beaded t-shirt and cardigan, f*cking pitchforking manure! OMG! All I could think was "I'm so happy I didn't do my nails last night" and "I am a rockstar with the manual labor" and "Ohmygod this goat manure is going to make me faint"
and then
"Wow. I am sooooo blogging about this one."

My self-reward is a "My Life As Liz Marathon" and homemade biscuits with not so homemade soup. It is day two, my friends. Nine days to go, this adventure has barely begun. I am kind of scared of what might be lying in wait!

Friday, March 05, 2010

Housesitting

For the next ten days or so, I'm holding down the fort a few towns over, in a house that contains about 25 birds (most small), 2 cats, 2 goats, and a very grumpy dog. I've been here nearly a full 24 hours and its been entertaining to say the least.

When I arrived last night, Lulu, a little black, low-to the ground black mutt thing, was PISSED. At first I (stupidly) thought she was happy to see me as she flung her small, compact body to the front door and proceeded to bark as loudly as possible through the mail slot. "Hi Lulu!" I said as brightly as possible, knowing that she could be "weird," grumpy and/or shy. Wow. I was barked and growled at consistently, and when I finally backed off, Lulu hid in the bathroom for over an hour. Damn. It was so tiring trying to win her over, I said "screw it" to errands and grocery shopping, dug through the fridge and found some beer and left over fettuccine and plopped on the futon to catch some Grey's.

The homeowners called from JFK and I told them about the problem with Lulu. They pretty much had no recommendation, with the husband saying that when his wife is away, Lulu acts exactly the same around him. Great! My only true worry, once I figured out that Lulu was not actually going to bite me, was that she would refuse to go out and pee. I tried to coax her out several times last night with cheese, with positively no luck. Oy.

I'm staying in the homeowner's room because they have the most comfy bed and a sweet flatscreen. That's where Lulu sleeps. Needless to say I was freaked out: 1. Lulu could jump up and eat my face while I slept 2. she could jump up and eat my face AND pee on me while I slept 3. she could run away to another room and never come out for the rest of my stay and pee and poop in some random part of the house. Eeeh. I called Jamaal and told him all my many dog woes. As a pet-less man, he had little advice. I finally decided that there was nothing I could really do (without getting bitten at least) and turned out the lights to go to bed....

.....only to feel Lulu hop up on the bed and curl up next to me around 12. What the hell? I was sure she'd growl and bite, but nothing, nothing but sleeping. At 2 I woke up with Lulu in my face..licking me. What? This happened every time I shifted, as if she was checking to make sure I was OK. When the sun came up (and the birds started SCREAMING!) Lulu turned over, looked at me, and went to hide under the bed. Normally when someone does that after sleeping with me I am gravely offended, but since this individual had just wanted to bite my hand off, I decided not to read too much into it. Lulu resumed hiding and growling for all of today until 3pm - yeah 3 PM probably almost 48 hours since she had last peed - the spirit moved her to walk down the back stairs and take a leak. She even frolicked in the yard for a bit. Such behavior is rewarded with a large slice of cheddar cheese. Sure, she may have gone back upstairs to hide, but at least we made progress - she's not going to eat me in the night, and her bladder is not going to explode. Rockin'

Meanwhile, the other creatures are an absolute breeze. The cats are my buddies. Cats can be so weird about people, but these two cats are compensating for the anti-social dog. Nancy and Loretta (a la Nanci by Toad and the Wet Sprocket) are sweet kitties who like to curl up and nap OR "help" with whatever task I'm trying to complete at that moment in time. Here they are:














The macaws are big and scary. I'll try and get some pics later. I bring a broom with me whenever I go into the barn, where they are free-flighted. While it is scary to have them able to pounce on me at any second, it's sooooo sooo much better to have them out and about than confined to a cage where they will only get more pissed off at me. There is also an aviary full of cockatiels that are twitchy as hell, and a room of amazons, but they are caged as well, and therefore totally non-threatening (to me at least). Oh, and a room full of caged conures...and the goats....so yes, it's quite an adventure over hear, but we all seem to be settling a bit better. I'm sure I'll have more to blog about later too...I can say that now because I know the animals aren't going to kill me in the night!

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Favorite Quote from Last Night

"Do you have to pee? Cause you're getting kind of antsy...."

Tee hee hee. I absolutely did have to pee...and many times at that.

Here's to drinking two bottles of wine with your high school buddy and cackling for about four and a half hours straight. That was exactly what I needed!!

P to the S: We tried Five Rivers Cabernet Sauvignon, and it was gooo-oood. Maybe it tasted good because we had already killed a bottle of white, but I went to check out Five Rivers' website today and they've started a pretty cool campaign that supports women who are battling or have survived cancer ("Save a Goddess"). So I guess the whole "goddess" thing happening with the Five Rivers labeling/philanthropy is to appeal to women. True, one of the reasons I bought the wine in the first place was the nice label, but mostly because it sounded tasty and there was only one bottle left...and in a liquor store that's mostly pushing 40's and fifths of Hennessey, I figured that was a promising sign! Anyways, it's good stuff, even better than Bitch in my opinion!

Monday, March 01, 2010

Coolest Russian Wedding Everrrr

Go here....I would link to the photographer's site, but am lazy lazy!
http://jamaallison.wordpress.com/2010/03/01/amazing-russian-wedding/
you can link to more through there, plus then my wedding blog won't feel so lonely, ha ha ha.

What to do, what to do?


So the Olympics are over. They were fun, and like a lot of people who are into the Olympics, I spent nearly two weeks filling every spare second ice skating, skiing, bobsled, snowboard-viewing, sometimes with dinner on my lap, sometimes into the wee hours of the morning (it was worth it for Evan and Joannie alone!) but now I find myself in that weird interim time between winter and spring...

It's a frustrating time! The beauty of New England is that at the beginning of each season, even though you've lived through dozens of that season, it feels new and unexpected. You're like 'AH! SPRING! You are so warm! And the sun is staying out longer, and the little crocuses are blooming. O GLORIOUS SPRING!' Then you get all pissy that spring is dragging on for soooo long, and by the end of May, if it hasn't been hitting 70 consistently, one gets a little restless. Then by August, everyone is like "WTF I am so ready for fall." Eventually it's "Snow! Oh snow!! I forgot how cold and white and glorious you are! I love you snow!" Which then brings us full circle, back to.....now....the in between.

While I have plenty of inside things to do, I would love to work outside for a bit. Tend my tiny garden that my parents allowed me to start in high school to hold all my castoffs from my landscaping business. Maybe I would plant some cold-hardy annuals in there for some color, or maybe just clear the mucky leaves out of there. I would like to sit in my front yard in the early morning and look for warblers (because I am nerdy - a well-established fact). Actually I would like to open the frickin' windows and air out my room. It's not quite time yet though....not just yet. But soon.

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last April...well end of April. Ugh. Still 8 weeks away.

Maybe I should go to the Spring Bulb Show at Smith. Especially now that my car is fixed. Anyone? Anyone up for spring bulbs and flowery goodness??? Maybe that will tide me over til spring appears...

both photos found here.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Winter Olympics

I think the reason I was falling asleep during my short drive to work this morning can be boiled down to one thing: the Olympics.

I am obsessed, I totally admit it.
I am the girl who thinks it's her patriotic duty to yell at the TV for the South Korean skaters to fall so Ohno can win a gold medal - that kind of obsessed.

I was in NYC for the opening ceremonies, and since Jam is equally a fan, we've both watched as much Olympics as our schedules allowed since day one - though we did fall asleep before the end of the opening ceremony because we are old, ha ha ha.

While I always root for my countrywomen and men, I find myself this year, particularly with figure skating, cheering for the team/person that I feel "deserves" the gold - since I haven't followed figure skating at all for a couple of years, I was pretty unbiased (I really only knew Johnny Weir and Plushenko, LOL that's how out of the loop I am!).

In pairs, I found myself pulling for Shen and Zhao - how could you not, right, with all the treacly, feel-good stories NBC featured about their relationship, marriage, etc. I am a sucker though, and I totally pulled for them and was very excited to see them win Olympic gold!

As for Lysacek, he simply outskated Plushenko. No, dude, they don't just hand out gold medals to people who do quads. If that were the case, we should scrap the programs altogether and just have a jumping competition. Maybe you should switch to aerial skiing if you want a gold medal for one fancy trick. It was exciting to see an American guy score the gold, because as much as I love Johnny Weir, we all knew he wasn't going to get it done. Apparently Lysacek is dating Nastia Liukin, of individual gold gymnastics fame - I kind of love that. Of course I am biased, since I spent most of the Beijing games with my face pressed to the screen, screaming "CMON NASTIA!" because I had decided that she was my fav summer Olympian...

When I watched ice dancing (can we have a moment for the Russian team's costumes? Oy) I thought that Davis and White would be unbeatable after their "Phantom of the Opera" routine...

then Virtue and Moir took to the ice - Jaysus. I told Jamaal that their routine may have been the most beautiful ice skating routine I've ever seen. I was blown away by their elegance and they certainly deserved the gold.

Here's where my unbiased opinion completely fades: ladies figure skating. Can we please just give Joannie Rochette a medal for having the grace and guts to stay in the competition after the death of her mother, which occurred during the games - yeah, 3 days ago. She's sitting in third going into tonight's competition, and at the very least, I hope she is standing on the podium tonight. For mental and emotional strength alone, she deserves to win. That's who I'll be cheering for tonight.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Said Gonna Be a Revival Tonight*

Do you have places that soothe your soul? You know, those places that make you feel a little more complete just by being? I do. I have a bunch, and I need to visit one because all this stress, all this winter, all this rain and snow, it's making me feel empty empty empty. I feel as though the only thing that's going to put me to right is one of these places reviving my tired, broken-down self.

The problem? They're all either far away or cold. Ha ha ha, of course they are:

Kenya

You've all heard it here before - I went to Kenya for a semester in 2003 and it turned my world upside down with its pure awesomeness. Some parts were simply breathtaking, others I loved because they were gritty and raw. There were a lot of things that just made me sad there, things I could not help or fix - but the place as a whole, it made my mind work, it made me happy, it challenged me so hard every single day. Then there are the people - the people that became my second family, the people I saw again in 2006 who hugged me close and said "Ah-LEE-zon. We knew you would come back like you promised." Sigh. Part of me knows I would feel better just going there for one day and having Salaash (below) find me a carmine bee eater or a ball python, hearing him say "this is so bea-yoo-ti-full I could sing "Amazing Grace."" But the plane ticket is several thousand dollars and I have this irritating thing shadowing me called "responsibility." The good thing? I know I can talk Jam into visiting one day, and he promised a trip to Botswana after we're married - maybe because we're all from Africa that it strangely feels like home, fulfills an emptiness inside? I don't know.

Bear Island, NH

A cold place right now. Not so good for visiting...yet.... My grandparent's cottage is my favorite place in the world - near home, that is. It's relaxing, it's on an island so you can't drive anywhere, there are no computers, and only small tv with only three channels. It's quiet, it's peaceful. When I go there I do whatever I want, read whatever I want, eat whatever I want and no one has any expectations of me. I get up at sunrise to take pictures of the sun coming up, then return to my bed on the porch to sleep for a few more hours. I lie in the sun (with SPF 75 on, no worries) and sleep or just stare blankly at the sky. It's glorious. I am counting down the months til I can go back.



Nantucket

I haven't been here in years, but my sister and I spent at least a week there every summer, camping in a pine barren. We would bike around the island - the best way to get around - and see all of its quiet, small, secret places. Though it's kind of a yuppie, wanna-be haven now (hee hee) you can still go there and feel like time has stopped. There are parts of it that feel so old, like those little side streets you can hike up to see Lucretia Mott's birthplace or Maria Mitchell's observatory - you almost feel as though you are living in Nantucket's heyday, in the midst of whaling and ships coming home from afar (and abolition! and feminism!). Out of town, there are still innumerable to find a peaceful quiet place. Maybe I should go there now, even though it's probably freezing - no tourists in the winter!from here

Grand Tetons


Also a place I haven't visited in forever...but seriously, how could you be sad or incomplete or tired or frustrated when you have those big mountains looming in front of you?from here

Lake Louise

This is the first "nice" place my grandparents ever took us. It's in in the Canadian Rockies and it's amazing. This shot is at the lake, but if I went for a visit, I'd stay at the old standby, the Post Hotel. I'd eat at their restaurant every night, get room service for breakfast, and spend a decent amount of time at the spa. Then I'd drink my cocktails in the library in front of the fireplace and read a good book. Sigh.


from here

Smith

My alma mater - it really feels like it should be "home" sometimes. I think just being on campus and remembering all the wonderful, fun things I did there lifts my spirits (because I have a happy filter and have blocked many of the bad memories. Like crying over bio tests and having mono!). I always return from Smith ready to tackle some problem. I could easily get there...but when? When can I sacrifice a day of making save the dates and emailing wedding vendors? AHHHHH!

Well, at least talking about these places helped me feel a little better. I think the winter is really getting on my nerves...and combine that with overtiredness, work stress (totally lame) a surprise $500 in car repairs, and the fact that I haven't been on vacation since 2007? Yeah, you get a little freak-out thing going on.

The good thing is that while I might now be able to hit up any of these places for a visit soon, I know I'll get back to all of them eventually. Also, I have a pretty healthy stretch of "free" time ahead of me to sort of unwind and relax. I'll be pet/house sitting starting next week, and while it's not the most relaxing thing in the world, the benefit is that my time will be my own. I don't have to make myself dinner if I don't want to, don't have to do the dishes or help out with xyz around the house. I know it probably sounds selfish, but it's kind of the mini vacation I need from my life right now. LOL. Until day 4 that is, when I call my sister because I'm lonely and bored...and the parrots are trying to eat me.

Eh well, thanks for reading on this damp, gray day. Maybe I'll be more upbeat tomorrow!


*From "Revival" by Soulsavers. Listen to it here Or simply watch Grey's Anatomy, the one where the ambulance crashes and Meredith is able to relieve the trapped EMT's cardiac tamponade by crawling into a wrecked ambulance with a huge-gauge needle...lol

Monday, February 22, 2010

The Real Problem is...

Sometimes I think I have ADHD.
Seriously.
Sometimes, I attack my days. I hurtle through them like a meteorite and crash at the end of the day, leaving a trail of accomplishment (OK and sometimes destruction) behind me.

Other times, I'm like a damn piece of trash in the wind (aren't I like, SUPER GOOD at metaphors? *cackles*) I float around and do not settle for more than a few seconds at a time. Nothing gets done. I can't complete a task from beginning to end not a single task.

This weekend I realized that no, it's not ADHD. It's this:
That's my to-do list that I made on Friday night...for the weekend. It had some easy things on it: "renew library books" "buy Charlie bird food" "clean." But then it had these ridiculous goals on it "schedule life" "come up with a fitness plan for next three months" "finish save-the-dates" (I have to do 100!!) and then random things that have been put off for years "scan Kenya pics" "write to Ms. B." Yeah. Maybe the problem is more like, oh I dunno, I make unattainable goals and then feel like a failure when I do not accomplish everything on the list? I think that's more like it. It's a specific neuroses/condition, called "First-born over-achiever syndrome." One does not necessarily have to be the first-born child in the family to have this disease, but it does often afflict the first-borns. An even greater problem is that I'm not sure how to cure it. I like having my days filled with things to do, because at the end I can feel accomplished. Lately though, I've been seeing the value in having an unscheduled day in which I do nothing except watch movies and some sort of craft (if the weather is bad) or just wander around outside for no particular reason. Yesterday it was chilly but bright and sunny in Mass., and all I wanted to do was kayak. But there was NO TIME!!!!111one one

I'm going to work on this issue. I don't have a solution yet, but I have a few ideas on how I'm going to deal with this. Part of it is staying organized. Part of it is not being a damn overachiever who takes on too much (sure I'll make your baby a quilt, sure I'll do a hand-knit scarf swap, sure I'll bring that special beehive cake to your party on Saturday night). Part of it also has to come from me figuring it out a little bit. I know I'll always have that overachiever in me, but I have to learn how to wrangle it, harness it for good and not for destruction. There's got to be a way, right?

For now, I'm going to get back to work. I can't believed I focused on this post and wrote in uninterrupted. Go me, ha ha ha.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Annoying on a Friday

Ok. So most of you probably go through life and find that there are these little things that people do that are unbearably annoying. Maybe they're just annoying to you, maybe they're universally irritating to most normal society. I try not to complain too much, but this week I have seen a lot of special things, and I CAN'T KEEP IT IN!

1. People who treat others working in the serving industry like crap. I was at Dunks today and this guy was treating the three people who worked there like SH*T. To the point where I almost said something. The Dunks I go to has got to be one of the busiest in the city, fueled by the legions of hungry construction workers building the newest addition to our hospital. The construction workers have the system down. A lot of times they go into Dunks ordering about 12 sandwiches and 15 coffees. They write everything on a scrap of cardboard (why they never have paper remains a mystery) and hand it over the the manager. This guy (who was not a construction worker or nurse or doctor) had a paper with stuff written down, but then was getting additional stuff, like "one chocolate munchkin." The manager was like "look, we can't be as quick as you want us to be if you don't write everything on the list when you have such a big order." The guy just kept mumbling under his breath - luckily the manager is kinda scary, and she gets in his face and goes "You get me, RIGHT?!" After she walks away and the rest of the staff completes his order, the guy asks for a plastic bag and goes "yeah, and don't get your grimy-ass fingerprints all over it neither." Grammar aside, this guy was an ass. I so wanted something karmically bad to happen to him, like his whole coffee coolatta spilling down the front of his pants. Grrr.

2. People who treat public transportation like their personal chariot. This lady plops down next to me on the bus yesterday, and proceeds to take off her coat and make a little coat-nest around her, do her hair, spread her newspaper everywhere, open all her mysterious work folders, talk on the phone, primp, blow her nose, etc. Any one of those things alone would be fine, but lady, it's a 20 minute bus ride, sometimes even 15 minutes. WHY? Then there are the people who put makeup on, trim their nails, floss, eat, etc on the train/bus/commuter rail. It's gross. SO GROSS. I would rather have the throw-up lady in front of me on the train - she couldn't help herself, but that guy trimming his nose hairs? Yeah, he could've waited for a better time and place! Don't get me started about spitting....

3. People who refuse to give up their seats on the train to others who obviously need them. Get this - a 47-month pregnant lady hops on a crowded train at South Station. No one moves, including the perfectly-abled d**che who had lunged for the handicapped seat at the previous stop. I proceeded to give him and the guy sitting next to him the evil look of death (I was standing too. Because chivalry is dead). I too have been in the conundrum "is she pregnant, is she not, what should I do? eh?" but there was no doubt about this woman, who was actually supporting her belly with her hands. C'MON. So in hopes of causing the oblivious or just plain rude men great embarrassment, I lean over their heads, tap her on the hand and say "Do you need to sit?" She says "Oh no, I'm fine" Yeah right. I say "OK, but if you want a seat, please tell me, because I will yell at this people to get up. I will make them get up - because what they're doing right now, is ridiculous." I think the poor woman was freaked out. She kinda laughed and said "thanks" and I noticed a guy smushed between the subway door and someone's backpack was cackling, probably because he wanted to see me yell at someone. Everyone else just stared. What is wrong with people?! Oh and for the record, I have been asked if I wanted a seat by another woman, and when I said no she leaned in close and said in a conspiratory tone "but aren't you pregnant?" OK, so maybe some people would've been offended. I laughed and said "No" and the poor woman was mortified, and the guy she was with was like "I told you she WASN'T" but honestly, I was relieved to find someone willing to give up their seat - and I told her that too.

4. The backpacks. Take them off on the train and bus. I hate getting my hair snagged in your zipper.

5. Littering - If I had a dollar for every guy I saw littering in Jam's neighborhood this weekend, I'd be rich. Ok not rich, but I'd probably have enough cash to get out of the parking garage this afternoon. What is up with throwing your sh*t on the ground when there is a trash can on every corner? I was puzzled. It's just something I thought had improved dramatically since the 80's, you know?

6. People who barely seem able to move, then sprint in front of you to get the last seat on the bus. Ugh. It happened three days this week.

7. People who text during movies, especially those who do so with the screen shining in my face. I have yelled at people about this, thus scarring a 14-year old teeny bopper for life...ok, I scarred her probably for only 2 hours, but I felt like she needed the scolding.

Well I think seven items is plenty of complaining for a Friday, don't you? I feel like I just lost about five pounds getting this all out into the blogosphere. Whew.

So I realized on Wednesday that it is the Lenten season (after I wondered why three people had identical bruises/moles/lesions on their forehead. Ashes, dumba$$) and wondered whether or not I should give up anything. See, I'm Protestant, and I am always like "oh I'm Protestant not Catholic, so I don't subscribe to giving up things for Lent." I am guessing there are a lot of Protestants out there who say the same kind of thing. My church however, suggests giving something up, or even setting aside time for deep introspection about sacrifice, etc, blah blah blah what Jesus gave up for us, blah blah. OK you get it. SO last year I gave up candy, which was nice I guess. I thought about doing that this year, but it didn't seem hard enough, plus I should probably give that up anyways as I embark on my fitness regime. I could give up soda, but I only drink it on the weekends, coffee, etc. They all seemed too simple.

Instead, I decided to try and give up meanness. Yeah, sometimes I am mean. Not in the cruel sense, but in the rude/unsympathetic/unsupportive sense. Or the sarcastic sense. I am going to try and be pleasant. Nice. Maybe people will be nice back?!!? Maybe people will see my aura of niceness and give up their seats on the train, or let me take a left in front of them! Or maybe nothing will happen - but deep down inside I'll know that I was a better version of me. Let's see how far I can make it!

Happy Friday y'all.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Yup. Another Blog.

To the two people who read this blog ;)
I've decided to keep most of the wedding junk off this page - why?
Because this is my security blanket, where I can rant about coworkers, strangers, and emotions. Where I can write dumb posts about how I like birds and nature, or how I hate riding the T. It's more fun without wedding in the way.

But...
Because I am planning our wedding (yes, I just used "I" and "our" because we all KNOW)
I am reviving an old wordpress blog I started after our engagement. I wanted a place to guiltlessly blog about all things wedding. If all things wedding bug you, feel free to avoid, but if you are the teeniest, tiniest bit curious, check me out here: jamaallison.wordpress.com

mad love fo' ev
ALLISON