duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude

So.

I just got off the phone with this lady who works for the National Comprehensive Cancer Network. She is coming to audit certain cases I have entered into our database in..hmmm 2 weeks from tomorrow. Holy crap right?
Ok now this wouldn't be such a big deal if I hadn't fallen so utterly and miserably behind in my work. It's quite wretched, and now she is coming in two weeks and expects to have up to September 2005 in the database. THIS IS 32 PATIENTS.
Now some of you might be like "I don't even know what this means and why are you freaking out"
Well
I am freaking out because abstraction for lymphoma is just not the same breed of abstraction as it is for breast, lung or colorectal cancer. I'm not saying that NHL is necessarily more difficult, it's just more complex in that lymphoma is a "liquid" cancer without identifiable tumor sites and can be widespread in the body. The patients who have it badly enough often have to get bone marrow transplants. It is in general a crazy-ass DISEASE. So I have these 32 patients and 8 pages of followup to do. This does not bode well.....the coming weeks shall be slightly disastrous. But I think I can do it. I think I just might be able to pull it off. And apply to grad school at the same time. I can do it all, right?

Heh, better schedule that pedicure for the day after the audit. I am soooo gonna need it :)

pessimism/optimism

Pessimism:

"On the one hand I congratulate Deborah Finn of Beacon Hill for her internet campaign to get Bostonians to smile at one another more often. She rightly identifies our reputation for showing the cold shoulder to strangers as a deterrent to people moving here and says "There's not a lot I can do about providing affordable housing, but I can smile and say "hello" to a stranger. We'll see if it works." Well on the other hand, Deborah, as a lifelong Bostonian, let me explain a few facts of life to you. There are some very good reasons why we may not smile as much as the friendly folks in the midwest or the south. For starters, this is not an especially friendly place we live in; the soil is rocky and hard to farm, the water is cold, the winters are usually harsh, and the weather, in general, is horrible. Someone once said that Boston has two seasons, "winter and August," and August is no bargain, when everybody goes on vacation at once, and all escape routes from the city are clogged with traffic. Speaking of traffic brings up some more good reasons why we don't smile. If it isn't insane locals training for the Indy 500 at the local rotary, it's the clueless out-of-towners, who try to map out their trip while in motion instead of figuring it out before they leave Duluth. Navigating our pothole-laden roads and picking up bent rims and broken fenders reminds us of our highest in the nation insurance rates, which reminds us of the obscenely high cost of living, which reminds us of our high tax rate, which reminds us of our mediocre politicians. So you wanna remind us all to smile more? Listen closely while I flash a big one......................................................................Enjjoy it, that's IT for the year."
-Keller at Large (who, to add to the pessimissm, I usually find to be an a$hole)
WBZ 1030, this morning, as I listened in the hideous traffic on my way to the hideous public transportation system we lovingly call the "T"

optimism:

Starbucks cup #89
Grande latte, Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital, Boston

The Way I See It #89

Recipe for happiness: an insatiable

curiosity, a joy of discovery, quick

to forgive, hold no grudges, love

without condition, stay loyal to the

death, see the best and ignore the

rest -- wow, we can learn a lot from

man's best friend!

--Nick Bolletieri

Tennis coach and founder of the

Nick Bolletieri Tennis Academy

What a tennis coach knows about dogs and happiness is beyond me, but I'm letting it go in favor of optimism, which is what I'm depending on to make it through life in general today - optimism, coffee, and of course, the Shaggy that is emerging from the radio at this very moment. Word.

Metro-sexual

I read this in the Boston version of the METRO yesterday:

Take Them Off!
According to Dr. Victoria Zdrok on the
Web site AskMen.com, leaving your
socks or shoes on while doing the deed
is the No. 1 most irritating thing men
do in bed. Others include drooling on
her and mentioning the sexual skills of
other women.

Did this make me cackle? HELLS YES.

Starbucks Cup #93, Beth Israel Deaconess, Boston

The Way I See It #93

THe one reason that my group
Run-DMC was on point was
practice! My motto is" If I miss a
day of practice, I know it. If I miss
two days, my manager knows it. If
I miss three days, my audience
knows it! Practice, practice,
practice!

--Rev Run
Musician, His songs can be heard
on Starbucks Hear Music station,
XM Satellite Radio Channel 75

something wicked this way blogs

Ok.
So we all know that I am a craft WHORE.
I admit it. I have spent hours printing stuff from the Martha Stewart website instead of working. Ditto for the Lion Brand yarn website.
Oh, and the Berocco one too. Yes. And if more cross stitch was available online, I would absolutely be printing off patterns.
Today I feel like I discovered a whole new dark side of craft whore-dom:
The Craft Blog.

I was led to one via dooce. She has a post today about a doll that her daughter's pseudo online godmother (or something like that) sent to her, with a link to her blog. I went there and saw a bunch of cute stuff. Well. Loobylu has a list of craft blogs she reads everyday. So I click on one: http://littlebirds.typepad.com/little_birds/ And it is effing cute as hell. I even printed the "wee bunny" pattern because, hey, they'll make great gifts for when everyone and their mom I know has BABIES (cause you know it will happen. I mean, hell, it's already happening with Jam). So then I recall that this weekend is "Crafty Weekend," a weekend planned by none other than EE for the sole purpose of craftiness, with definite drunkenness thrown in there. I started reminiscing about some projects I've completed since my last craft post.

One is this picture:

I made this for my friend, Elizabeth, for her birthday. I made it like, months and months in advance and I was really pleased with how quickly it made up. Plus it uses hand-dyed threads. From now on, everyone needs to know that I am a hand-dyed thread whore. When my boyfriend and I went to Vermont, he so patiently waited as I ogled the entire wall of Weeks Dye Works and Gentle Art threads and fondled, and YES I mean fondled in that WAY each of the colors. What's sick is that I knew half of them. I picked up a green and was like 'oh I've always wondered exactly what the color "Scuppernong" looked like, wow it's green!!' I saw a pink called "Meredith's Pink" and thought 'I should get this for my mom, cause her name is Meredith' SICK!!! I love it though. Loooove it. I also made a picture for Elizabeth's mom, for she invited us once again to Maine. But I'm not posting it yet, it needs to be a surprise. ANYWAYS, this picture may have bought my way into a little "side deal" because a coworker of EE's liked it, and he and another coworker are opening a store and he was like "keep us in mind" (basically, long story short :) ) I would love to sell my stuff in a store, cause it would justify my hopeless addiction to threads, fabrics and patterns. And it would give me an excuse to cross stitch all the time, which is fabulous.

Ok. After that, I decided to knit something for Jam's coworker, who is just the loveliest woman. She and her husband are expecting a girl, and since (literally) 10 out of 10 of the last people having babies in my family/neighborhood/circle of friends have been BOYS, so I leapt at the chance to make this little number:
I was so excited to hear that Jam's coworker and her husband are expecting a girl, as I bought this pattern years ago when my neighbor was pregnant. Of course, she had a boy. Then my other neighbor had a boy. And then my cousin got pregnant. Of course, she's having a boy. I thought that I would never get a chance to actually knit this sucker, but finally, finally, someone is having a girl. I had the yarn for this project and everything. Actually, I had started it, but when people just kept popping out boys, I abandoned it. So I finally got to make it up, and I will admit, it was a bit of a challenge. The lace fringe was particulary irritating to make, and since this is a jaeger pattern, it was full of strange little brit knitting anomalies that required me to sketch things out on a piece of scrap paper and make lots of tic marks, you know, so the slow-witted American in me could complete a finished product. I will say that when I did finish this, it was adorable, and I think Katrina really liked it when she opened it. Just hope the baby does ;)


Finally, my sister and I are working on complimentary samplers for twin girls who were born on April 6th. Now I had many baby patterns in my stock, but Ame and I did not want to make them identical patterns, nor did we want the traditional cartoonish baby pictures either, so we decided on something feminine, yet elegant, something that the girls could really grow into. I love the insect sampler Amy picked, but wasn't as fond of the floral one that complimented it, though in the end, I decided to order it because I could not come up with a better idea. Now that I've started it, I definitely love it, the colors are so subtle and pretty, they really work off each other and look great when put together on the fabric (before I started stitching I had a mess of thread in my hand and was like 'ew, these are gross colors') I think they're really soft and pretty, as are the ones in the insect sampler, though the picture I use here makes them seem a little garish. Wow, looking at these side by side makes me realize exactly how much these will complement each other....cool :D

POISON CLOAK

I was recently reminded of a friend's love of rhubarb.
It came up in an email conversation about pies. I believe my sister wanted to make herself a pie for Easter, which evovled into a "what is your favorite pie" discussion. I answered "strawberry rhubarb" becasue it is my favorite pie of all time, FOREV!

Then my friend emailed "I LOVE RHUBARB!"
I vaguely remember discussing this in college - I mean we did share a room for two years and I am sure it came up. What I did not recall was this:

"PS: Once I tried to make a cloak out of rhubarb leaves. A poison cloak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!! HaHAhaHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I thought this was rather brilliant (the stalks of rhubarb are edible, of course, but the leaves are poisonous). Anyways. In her honor, I give you

Rachel of the Poison Cloak

Starbucks Cup #83, Beth Israel Deaconess

The Way I see It #83

They told you that beauty is in the
eye of the beholder. What they
failed to tell you is that it is best
seen with the eyes closed. What
you look like isn't important. What
is important is who you are inside
and the choices you are making in
your life.

-- Tiana Tozer
1992 Paralympic silver and 1996
bronze medalis, women's
wheelchair basketball.

Reality TV fo' Realz

Ok.
Now that I've been left in relative silence by 3/4 coworkers (there's one still lurking about) and have eaten my incredibly satisfying left over from last night's dinner lunch, I am going to write about my now not so secret shame: reality tv.

Ok yeah, I was one of those people who boycotted "Survivor" when it came out. Yeah, yeah I was at Smith trying to have a conscience and all and was like 'oh reality tv. I look down upon those people who produce those shows. Instead of paying real actors who need work they use average people and make them do tricks like a monkey and then reward one of them with money at the end. Cheap and vile entertainment. BAH." Of course, being the inventors of reality TV, MTV was completely exempt. Whenever possible I made myself "The Real World" and "True Life" 's WHORE Then I graduated from school. I saw "The Apprentice" and was like 'hunh'. I totally watched the first three seasons too. Then I got into "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" where they completely exploit your emotions to get you to watch TV. But I let it go because they were doing good for the world. When I started working, and more so this year, all hell broke loose. TV has become my escape from reality. Let's face it - college? ha ha ha not really REALITY. Working full time, having an 1 and a half commute each way, dating a boy you LOVE but who lives 300 miles away? That's mother-f*cking reality. Oh and bills and all that shit too, hahahahah.

Anyways, my newest addictions now include reality TV. Sure there's "Lost" and "Grey's Anatomy" which I *said in high pitched sing song voice* LOOOOVE* But now there's also Amazing Race, SuperNanny, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway.

I'm gonna start with America's Next Top Model. (Small font to compensate for the length of the post)

Ok. This show is so ridiculous, although the good thing is that unlike effing "Dancing with the Stars" the panel doesn't really give a shit what the audience at home thinks when making their decisions. Besides, Americans wouldn't get it anyways, what the judges look for. They'd just be like "awww the blonde one from Arkansas is cute" and vote for her even though she can't walk in effing HEELS! So there's a good thing at least. I just think it's kind of a joke because most of the girls aren't amazingly pretty or talented. I guess the point is to mold them into a supermodel, but have you seen last season's winner, Nicole? TOTAL FEMBOT! I'm sure she's sweet and all and she's pretty enough but honey, you have bendable limbs! BEND THEM!

This seasons models are pretty interesting. I mean Jade, the queen biatch is enough to keep us entertained an entire season, and it's not cause she's good or pretty. She just a plain ol' bitch. But she does create drama in the house and on the set, so every week I hope she stays in the competition and they weed out one of those boring other girls because I love tuning in to see what bitchy/idiotic/pompous thing Jade will say/do next.

The girls-

Kathy - well she must've deserved elimination because I don't even remember her being on the show. ha. so there

Wendy - seemed sweet and she was unusual looking, a bonus. And I even pulled for her since Katrina f*cked up her house real bad. But she sucked at modeling. So she had to go. Though I wish she could've beat Gina, because seriously, she had to be better than Gina.

Kari- ahhhh so sweet, so young, so blonde blue eyed middle america-ish. No I did like her actually. Her falling shot, I thought, was beautiful and graceful. Her cover was hot, and her bald shot was freaky as hell, but she really played off her features. Sadly, in North Dakota they've never seen Vivienne Westwood fashion show mandated shoes cause....she falls when she walks in them. Oh they are totally hooker shoes, yes, platforms, 6 inch heels. But she fell. So sweet little 18 year old Kari. DONE.

Gina - effing Gina. Now Jade totally tormented this girl, yes, but she never stood up for herself! EVER and she got herself into the worst situations by opening her mouth. You would see her mouth start to open and you wanted to jump through the TV, tackle her and go "no, no no don't do it Gina!" She was clearly a big airhead too, plus she would freeze in front of the camera, especially when Jade was there mocking her. I would be like 'listen, you f*cking twat who's not even pretty - shut the f*ck up or I will cut you with my ridiculously high cheek bones" Her bald shot, I thought, was beautiful, and some of her other pics were cute, but they all looked the same. Oh and her cockroach flip out scene - PISSED ME OFF - Therefore - DONE

Molly Sue - what is there to write? She seemed sweet. Tyra was all about her. But she was so flat. She was always talking about 'Mah outgoin' personality no one is seein' UM HELLOOOOO THEY TAKE PICTURES OF YOU! WITH A CAMERA! At anytime you could've revealed that personality of yours. Yes they gave you a bad haircut, but you're supposed to be a model girl, work with it. But she never worked it at all. AT ALL. It's too bad cause this girl has gorgeous coloring. I think when they cut her hair, they took her confidence too. Therefore she's DONE

Brooke - The judges and such said right out one day "she's not conventionally pretty"
No shit. Brooke is kind of funky looking. But I see that she has potential to really model well. But when you watch her on TV and LISTEN to her, you're like "HEH???" She is an airhead extraordinnaire - I mean really dumb, which she attributes to her shyness and panicking when in public. For now I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt because she is definitely very sweet and good-natured. She brings little drama to the show and she's a nice break. She hasn't taken any amazing pics yet because she holds her body so oddly in most of the shots making her look really awkward, though I found her bald one interesting, even though she turned her face away from the camera.

Danielle - when I first saw her I was like "Hell no, take it AWAY" But then she got extensions and I was like 'ok, maybe' She is a little ghetto, but then I noticed that she's kind of a good sport about stuff. Like falling on her ass in those heels and spraining her toe. There were no histrionics and she really wasn't a diva about it. Plus she says some funny shit, like when Jade said she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher and Danielle interviewed and said "I'd rather home school my kid's than send them to Jade's class." Funny. Danielle's pictures have been gorgeous, in my opinion, from her bald one, to her amazing Snow "Black" one, to her singer one. When she's not made up, you look at her and go "what the HELL" but as soon as she puts some makeup on all that you're like "yes please"

Furonda - fastly becoming a favorite! When I first saw her, much like Danielle, I was like "someone tell her to stop posing with her armpits exposed please!" But then they gave her extensions too. She looked better, but I was still unconvinced. Her bald picture scared my shitless. I mean it's very artsy in a way, but I saw it and went "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" Miss J also doesn't like her and is like "her head looks like a lightbulb" Yeah? Miss J - you look like a man dressed as a woman.....ohhh.........wait..........Anyways. Furonda has a long way to go in my book, but I see HUGE potential. Her bald shot, scary, her falling shot, awkward, her cover, OK. Her career shot, pretty nice....potential. And last night she was awesome on the mini "Wild N' Out" segment and her PSA was fabulous - she was a great speaker and she's become a little more humble. And she can deal with Jade. Props, girl, mad props...

Jade - I'll be honest. I do not like this one except for the bitchiness she brings to the show. She is cocky as hell about everything. Ex. "Models today you will walk in heels" Jade: "Girl I live in heels" "Models, today you will do improv" Jade: "Girl I was made for the stage" I don't actually think she's a confindent person. It's sad really. She's the type of person who brings everyone down so she can feel up. And she talks a lot of shit, like "oh I WILL BE America's next top model, no doubt" Potes, a reviewer on "Television Without Pity" sums Jade up quite well: "In lieu of the standard photo shoot, the girls must film a Cover Girl commercial in which they improvise their dialogue. You can guess how that goes. Each girl only gets two takes, and then they are S.O.L. Brooke falters under the pressure while Jade thinks that she's the bee's knees, but is actually the bee's anus. Seriously, watch this episode just to see her commercial takes. At judging the girls' commercial efforts are widely mocked, with Jade and the personality-deprived Mollie Sue landing in the bottom two. But much like the vampire she so resembles, Jade cannot die and thus Mollie Sue packs her bags to head back to Boringville."

Joanie - "TV without pity hate Joanie" Yeah, yeah, they make fun of her snaggletooth and all and say that she looks like a stripper. But I like her. Why? She's sassy. And I shy away from the blondie blue eyed's too. But I think she's great. She taken pretty pictures. Yeah, she did take a few that resembled a blue-eyed Bambi caught in the headlights, but her "career" shot - holy sh*t, it's professional grade, in my opinion at least. She can walk in heels and did some better than all the rest of the girls except Furonda free stylin' with Nick Cannon, so personally, I hope she's got some staying power

Leslie - she's gorgeous and I wish she had more air time. I don't even know what to write about her cause she never gets air time! But anyone who can be dressed up like the Big Bad Wolf and look that good deserves half a chance. She looks amazing! Her bald pic isn't my favorite, but all in all, Leslie has got something a lot of the other girls don't................................dude, and apparently she is only 18? Holy crap....

Nnenna - how can you not love her? she's from Nigeria, she's got a chemistry degree, and she's given up everything to be here. Yeah, she hogs the phone and wins a lot of the challenges and that can make the other models cranky, but she seems sweet and unassuming. In last week's episode everyone was like "Nnenna only seems to be sweet" Well yeah, she does seem to be, except for phone hogging with loser boyfriend, who she will hopefully ditch for that particularly and strangely enticing male model that put the moves on her during the career photo shoot. That would be some great television right there, dragging a male model into the mix. hehe hehe sweeeeeet. Nnenna's one of my favs cause she seems sweet and is nice to people. She doesn't care what they think of her either, and when you're on a show with a lot of bitches, that may be the right attitude......

Sara - See they cut Sara's hair and I was like "what the f*ck did they do to her?" but then I saw her old photos with long hair and was like "OH yeah, that makes sense" I think Sara could be a come from behind star. I'm not sure about it, not 100%, but I like her look. She reminds me of a friend from college, though this girl has brown hair and Sara is blonde - maybe it's the California mentality. Sara kind of bombed the commercial by marketing a Cover Girl product with a drink in hand, but for going first and having the commerical being improv, I thought she kicked all ass. And I thought she was the best, yes even better than Nnenna....she is lacking that thing that makes you notice her straight away (like, she doesn't really pack a punch) but I think with help, she could make it...

Ok that's my analysis
I'm not going to make any crazy-ass closing statement, because this crazy-ass post is already crazy-ass long! I will tell you that right now, my favorites to win it all are: Nnenna, Furonda, Wendy, and Sara.....yup...........that's all...........

oh that, and the fact that all the pics except the first are copyrights of UPN and America's Next Top Model

the daily mumps

My sister sent me this the other day

"Have you seen this website? http://dailymumps.com/

I've been scrolling through all the pictures and practically peeing in my pants."

Now my sister is one of the funniest people I have ever met, one of the few people who has actually made me laugh so hard I've started to 1. cry 2. pee 3. gasp for air 4. all of the above. AT ONCE!
So I figured that she was a pretty good judge of what was funny. SO I clicked on the link....

and.........





I'M ADDING THIS TO THE LIST OF BLOGS I READ DAILY BECAUSE IT IS EFFING HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

If you click on the link, I recommend you look at all the pictures posted, you know, just so you can get to know the family a little better, oh I mean the "tiny indigenous
laborers who pose in exchange for rice and strips of twine" who are featured in this hilarious-not-a-photo-blog comic.

I'm telling you, if I'm ever lucky enough to have kids, I'm going to shun most parenting books (note I said most) because it's websites like this and dooce that teach you one of the MOST IMPORTANT necessities of child-rearing - a f*cking sense of humor :)

About the Lilting HOUSE

UPDATE YOUR FUCKING BLOG SO I WON'T BE BORED AT WORK ANYMORE!!!!1111oneone

pretty please??? :)

Amazing Race

I MADE AN IN DEPTH ANALYSIS FOR EACH TEAM ON AMAZING RACE 9!
I LISTED THEIR STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES AND GAVE THEM MAD PROPS AND STUFF
BUT THE POST IS GONE
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Out of Africa

If I know a song of Africa,

of the giraffe

and the African new moon lying on her back,
of the plows in the fields
and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers,

does Africa know a song of me?


Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on?

Will the children invent a game in which my name is?
Will the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me?



Will the eagles of the Ngong Hills look out for me?



Isak Dinesen
Out of Africa

Starbucks Cup #85

Grande latte
3/23/2006 9:30 pm Copley Starbucks on Boylston
3/24/2006 7:55 am Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital

The Way I See It #85

Let go you sorrow.

Let go your blues.

Coz I know tomorrow

is yesterday's news.

Let go your sadness,

give up the fight,

follow your madness

and take flight...take flight.

--Seal

Musician. His songs can be heard

on Starbucks Hear Music station,

XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

Period.

Xcalibur: ok listen to my talk for a young girl
Xcalibur: honey the human body is amazing
Xcalibur: it regulates itself
Xcalibur: part of god's design
Xcalibur: every 28 days or so
Xcalibur: females
Xcalibur: that are capable of bearing children
Xcalibur: their body has a process that regulates itself
Xcalibur: ha ha
Xcalibur: and it is a very special thing
Xcalibur: as it marks the road to womanhood
Xcalibur: and the ability to reproduce
Xcalibur: this better not end up on a blog
Xcalibur: I think that's pretty good for a man
wildorchid: you have no idea
wildorchid: hahahahahah
wildorchid: yes it is
wildorchid: here is what my talk would be:
wildorchid: so every 28 days ya ovulate ok?
wildorchid: and so your body is tricky and it's like "ooh an egg! maybe if there is an egg there will be BABIES! I must prepare"
wildorchid: so it builds a little lining. Kind of like a bed with lots of covers if you will, and waits. Then finally the body realized that there is no sperm, thus no baby, so it's like "well this is a waste of my time"
wildorchid: so the lining sheds itself
wildorchid: and just to be extra bitchy and pissed off that you didn't fertilize that egg like you were SUPPOSED to
wildorchid: you get cramps, bloating, stomach upsets, headaches, tender boobs and mood swings. wildorchid: but you know what?
wildorchid: no one better be fertlizing that damn egg until you are MARRIED girl!
wildorchid: Cause PMS is bad, but what I give you if you get pregnant will be worse
wildorchid: oh, and congratulations, you are now a woman
wildorchid: hahahaha
wildorchid: hmm maybe you should talk to the kids, hahaha

light

"I have nothing. I work in the fields every day. But I am so happy with this life. There is so much color."

-Indian woman outside Agra, as said to Anne Goddard, chief of staff, CARE

and featured in this month's O Magazine.

Maasai Women Singing

Xcalibur: but your blog is you
Xcalibur: a human being
wildorchid: thanks
Xcalibur: not a lets educate the world
wildorchid: i am a girl not a fem-bot
Xcalibur: LOL

self-realizations on a plane

So I went to Virginia this weekend to visit my sister, which was AMAZING and maybe I will write about that later. Right now I have to write about some things I realized the other day, mostly while flying home, though one I realized while on the can last night, but I can't remember it right now. I was taking a pee and thought of it, like I had this epiphany on the john, but how epiphanic could it possibly be if I've forgotten it? eh, perhaps I will remember.

Realization 1: The Atlantic Ocean is my favorite because it just is. I think it is the best ocean and no one will ever be able to convince me otherwise. I have met West Coasters who like to get into that exhausting argument about which ocean is the best and they go on and on about the Pacific. Now I've seen the Pacific. I've stood in the Pacific. Been on a boat in the Pacific. I know it's beautiful and like most oceans, has a sense of mystery and magic surrounding it. But I have had time to observe the Atlantic. It's what I know well (not the entire Atlantic, I have to add, though I doubt that the west coasters have had time to study the entire Pacific, so to me this argument is all relative) and I like it. The Atlantic ocean changes colors and moods and can do so quickly. I've rarely, except for the early, early morning on windless summer days, seen it placid. It is bitchy and angry and it moves violently if it wants. It consumes things, boats and people, unforgivingly in these massive swells and walls of water. It is feared and loved simultaneously. I'm sure this is also true of the Pacific, but I am not sure. I know they have big waves, bigger than east coast waves, you know, good enough to surf upon. and I know that in certain parts of the Atlantic touched by the gulf stream the water is warm and tropical and clear and still. But in this argument I am only talking about MY Atlantic Ocean. And it's not placid or clear or turquoise and it's certainly not warm. It's roiling, it's dark and cloudy and holds lots of secrets, it's green and blue and gray and it's freezing most of the time, unless it's so hot here that it stops mattering what temperature the ocean is, life on land has become so unbearable that people march out into the sea seeking relief even in the coldest of water. Maybe this whole spiel is just silly. But I don't care. I don't care if it's just one girl's opinion either. It's my opinion and it only needs to matter to me. The Pacific has lots to offer. But the Atlantic, that's my ocean. The ocean that I've swum in more times than I could ever count. The ocean that I go to when I need just a little peace and quiet or just need a change of scenery or a place to ponder the vastness of the world by looking unobstructedly eastward to the horizon meeting the sea and nothing in between. It's the ocean I fly over, no matter which way I'm coming from, when I come home. It's the one I see every day on my way to work as I cross the Neponset River and follow it down into the harbor. It's the most beautiful to me. Keep your waves and your warm water, give me the bitchy Atlantic, thank you very much.

Realization 2: Sometimes I really hate my species. In general, I love people. Ok, maybe that's an overstatement. In general, I like people and I love LOVE certain people. I think humans are amazing and there are acts of selflessness and compassion and brilliance etc that amaze me every day and make me happy to be a human living on Earth. The end.
BUT
Then I see such rudeness and unkindness and insensitivity that it makes my head want to spin around like that little kid on the Exorcist. grrrrr. 1. Lack of self-constraint and respect for each other in public. Why do you have to PUSH me when I'm in your way? Why do you have to cut me in line? Why do you have to sigh and be all passive aggressive when I am in your way when you could just say "excuse me, I am trying to get by." No, I do not want to overhear your very loud phone conversation on the train. 2. Lack of respect for personal space. This is touchy. Sometimes, personal space preservation is completely impossible. I totally understand. But a lot of times, even in crowds, you can allow people a modicum of personal space. Why do you have to repeatedly grab the headrest of my seat on an airplane? Why do you have to stand on the subway in such a way that I feel your entire frontal section in gruesome detail against my back? Why do you have to stand with your ass in my face? Why do you choose to stand or sit RIGHT next to me on a subway car/train/platform/bus, etc, when the ENTIRE place is empty? On the other hand, I think it's so rude to take up an empty seat with your bags and packages, when someone else on the bus/train etc, needs that space. 3. Why doesn't anyone follow the rules any more? When I went to the National Zoo this weekend, every single rule posted there, was broken. "No banging on the glass" the glass was covered with fingerprints and small children tapping on the glass while their parents looked on talking about how cute little Jimmy was. "The animals in this exhibit are shy and sensitive. Please keep your voice down." I saw children and adults alike breaking this one "MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM LOOK AT THE RARE ENDANGERED GOLDEN CRESTED SPIDER EATING EAGLE" The bird has like, a minor heart attack and flutters around it's little habitat. "JIM OH JIM COME QUICK THE WOLVES ARE OUT OF THE DEN!! Billy, run and get daddy! JIM!!!! JIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMM" A few times my sister and I were like "WTF?!!!!???!?!" At the cheetah exhibit, the caretakers were explaining about how the cats need there exercise and there were all these people there going "wha? huh? what's he saying? the cheetahs WHA?" A few times I said quietly "maybe if you shut the fuck up you would know what was going on" argh. Frustrating. Plus in the apehouse, that was the worst place of all. There was a whole sign "Apes are scared when you stare at them. Approach them with your back turned. Do not tap on glass. Do not raise your voice. Do not startle apes" We were in that place for about 10 seconds before I saw every single rule broken. That's when I sped through the exhibit and was out the exit door. No more I thought. These apes, I thought, could behave and are behaving better than 90% of the humans I've seen today, and we're looking at them in a zoo? hahhaahha if anyone should be on display, it should be THE RULE BREAKERS.

Realization 3 (this morning). Instead of fining a$$hole drivers, they should be given a test. Now this is only for people who drive aggressively/with road rage. Once they are pulled over, they should be made to roll the window down. The amount of their fine should then be divided by 10. Take that number and find that many cars. Have each car drive by the offender and shout insults at them, kind of like I did today when I saw an aggressive driver who had passed me 10 minutes before pulled over by the state police. With the window up, I turned towards him and screamed, literally scream "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR DRIVING LIKE A DICK" and moved along. Now. If you have a $250 fine looming ahead, but you can sit through and tolerate 25 insults hurled at you, then you get off with just a warning. If you only make it through 10 insults before you crack, then you get $150 fine. I think it's a brilliant idea, but there are definitely problems associated with that type of punishment, I am sure. Ha.
I think I need to stop this rant.

AHHAHHAHA sometimes blogging is so fun. I know that so few people will read this and I can go on and on ranting in my own special and insane way :D silly me.

The reason why I have been irrationally depressed lately: NOT ENOUGH SUNLIGHT

I learned today at a nutritional conference that between November -April in this part of the country no amount of sunlight great or small will allow your body to produce vitamin D. So I'm probably not getting enough. Which leads to sadness and badness. I mean sometimes, not like, all the time. So one goal: take my vitamins with vitamin D!

Starbucks Cup #77, Beth Israel Deaconess Boston

a totally necessary second latte of the day

The Way I See It #77

the human catalysts for

"dreamers are the teacher and

encouragers that "dreamers"

encounter throughout their lives.

They are invaluable in the quest

to turn ideas into reality. So

here's a special thanks to all of

the teachers - especially my

teacher, Miz Lane!

--Kevin Carroll

"Katalyst" and author of Rules of

the Red Rubber Ball: Find and

Sustain Your Life's Work."

In the spirit of the cup, I'll take a minute to thank my teachers (just elementary school today, I started with middle, it got way too long):

Preschool: Mrs. Bass, Mrs. Lelliott, and Mrs Whitaker. You took me to the farm, which was awesome. I made exciting crafts with you, including a fruit loop necklace, back when fruit loops only came in 3 colors! Amy ate most of it on a car ride to New Hampshire, but the point was I had fun making it. Also all those craft projects that included either pasta or dying things or bits of fabric. They absolutely molded my childhood. Between you and my mom, I became a craft whore.

Kindergarten: Mrs. Schoman. You were just about the nicest lady ever. Though it would be illegal to do so now, I loved it when I did something really well and I got a hug from you. You also did a lot of cool things that other teachers didn't do, like have our classmate Peter tell us all about having leukemia, and having a blind lady come in and teach with you, showing us that she was no different than anybody else. Also, I loved learning the shapes, and how we always had to color in a shape and then cut it out, paste on arms and legs and give it a name and stuff like that. Also, you helped me to start combatting my shyness when we sang the alphabet song for the end of the year "finale." I still remember "L is the lovelight in your eyes"

First Grade: Miss Harrison. You were a totaly nazi and scared the crap out of so many kids. I am so glad I got on your good side from the start, because underneath the scariness you were hilariously funny, something which I didnt' really realize until I got older and understood adult humor. You really taught me to read, which was so cool! You taught me to spell well too, and some fundamental math. You taught me about cheating too, a concept I didn't understand until I got to your class, asked a friend during a spelling test what word you had just said and had you storm down the aisle and rip up my test. I think you felt bad later, not realizing what I had been asking. I know you thought I had potential too, something I learned later. Also, the Flag Day thing, well it was DA BOMB!

Second Grade: Ms. Cashell. You were nice teacher, very patient. I don't remember a ton of second grade vividly, mostly just the fact that we had 4 mikes in our class. I know you taught me more complex math stuff, like carrying, which I thought was like, the most mind bending crazy ass thing I had ever seen in my life. I was like "woahhhh duuudue you carry the one to the tens column? far out" So that was awesome.

Third Grade: Ms. R. Doherty. I liked you because you were a cool lady. You were very mysterious to all of us students. You were a little older and unmarried and mysterious. Every holiday we made the best crafts too, like the giant posterboard black cats for Halloween. You let someone bring puppies into the classroom once too. You taught the year of the gulf war and had us write letters and send care packages to the troops, which was really cool. I got to meet both of my penpals that year when they returned to the US. You were always printing banners on the computer, so we could color them in and give them to people who needed a little cheering up. I remember once you gave me the responsibility to color in a get well banner for someone who needed a boost. I had to color it in with "pastels and soft colors" and I remember you were very pleased with the neatness of the whole project. I also have a book you gave me and inscribed with your calligraphic handwriting.

Fourth Grade: Mr. Smith. Mr Smith was the greatest teacher. He really challenged me and I think under his guidance and demand for the highest performance I became the person I am today. He was a disciplinarian and he was hardcore, but he was one of the greats. He really got me interested in Science at this point in time, and he was always doing great things like taking us on a whale watch, unwinding the string in a baseball to see how long it was, pushing us to do creative writing and extra credit projects or playing the dictionary game. Plus he recognized the fact that we were not too old to enjoy being read to, and read us among other things, "The Indian in the Cupboard." Shoutout to Mrs. Cripps (math) who did speed tests and made me love math and made her husband come into the school to set up his teepee and teach us about native american life and Ms. Hickey (english) who made me love reading and writing even more.

Starbucks Cup #52, Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital

(a totally necessary venti latte)

The Way I see It #52

True story: Recently I eavesdropped

on a conversation between two

twenty-something employees at a

local Starbucks. I listened as the

barista mused about his taste in

music. Then the cashier asked

him if he had ever heard the song

"Strawberry Fields Forever." After

a pause, the barista answered,

"No, can't say I ever heard that

one before." That's when I knew

there really was such a thing

as a generation gap.

--Mary Chapin Carpenter

Grammy award-winning singer-

songwriter. Her songs can be heard

on Starbucks Hear Music station,

XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

I do not call the above the "generation gap." I call it SACRILEGE!!!!!!!!!!! Strawberry Fields Forever, while it may not be the most famous Beatles song by any means, is a classic!

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out

It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down cause I'm going toooooooooooooo

Strawberry fields

Nothing is real

and nothing to get hung about

Strawberry fields forever

Luck

My friend Melissa had a birthday over the weekend and I was so excited I could finally send the picture I created for her so many months ago. This one was particularly enjoyable to make. I got to work with hand-dyed threads on this one....normally, I wouldn't make an entire picture out of hand-dyed threads because they can be a little pricey ($2.00/ skein or thereabouts) so when a pattern calls for a color and you are only making 10 stitches, I am not gonna spend extra for those three stitches and I will just convert to regular old DMC thread. In this case, as I usually do for gifts, I went all out and purchased all the colors hand-dyed, and the effect was rather nice. I also bought the fabric recommended on the pattern. I then bought an unfinished frame. I knew I wouldn't be able to find the one I wanted already made, so I bought an unfinished one and two shades of green paint, one light one dark, to compliment the stitching. I first used the light paint on the frame, then put some crackle medium over that, then followed up with the dark. The result (after the second try) was quite satisfactory, and the dark paint crackled nicely, allowing the light to show through.

Anyways, that's been done for a while and I've been doing other projects. I'm caught up with birthdays for a while I think. Right now I am working on a baby shower gift for my boyfriend's coworker, a baby sweater, which is nearly done. I just have the sleeves and some fringe work to do, but the fringe is enough to drive a girl insane. It's really not fringe, but knitted lace, and the pattern is cracked out. Of course the book I'm using is British, so stuff that makes sense to them, makes absolutely no sense to me. The good think is is that I am so close to being done, not much could discourage me at this point, so I just have to master the fringe and knit it and be done with it. After that it's more baby gifts, this time for my sister's teacher and family friend who's having twin girls (we're each gonna do a picture) and then graduation gifts for my Smithies. Then I think there shall be a time of rest. Then of course, there's my sister's birthday, a friend's wedding, my old roommate's birthday, and my cousin's wedding. hahahah it's insanity on a stick.