Friday, February 25, 2011

Uninspired

I've felt so uninspired lately.
I mean, look at this blog and it's crap postings - that's just a slice of uninspired for you. Blah.
My friend's birthday party is next weekend. I love buying gifts, LOVE IT, but I can't think of a single thing to give her.....talk about uninspired blah boring-ness.

Maybe it's the lingering winter.

Maybe it's my inability to finish things.

Maybe it's my job - it leaves me worn out and frazzled at the end of the day and I am slowly, slowly growing to hate and resent it...not the work itself, but the drama drama drama all the time.

I guess the good news is that I don't feel sad or depressed or anything. I am quite content with married life and our cozy nook of an apartment. I love it. I love spending time with husbando - actually, he's away on business and the apartment feels empty and echo-y without him. I am relieved that he'll be home tonight (as fun as it was to have the space to sprawl - in bed, on the couch - I do miss his presence). So that's good I guess.

Maybe all the traveling we've done in the past year (DC, NYC, Jamaica, San Diego) has made me restless. I feel like I constantly want to be away. I think that's wrapped up in the weather too, because I'm guessing if I had my deck garden (which I am planning to transform!) and was able to read/nap in a patch of warm sunlight, I wouldn't feel the urge to flee all the time.

A friend wrote me a letter from Hawai'i, telling me how she'd love to have me visit and identify the birds in her yard. Oh how I longed to pack a bag and bounce.

Jam said the other day "you love Africa, you love it so much!" I said "If I could, I'd leave tomorrow to go back there...with you of course, dear."

Yup. Guess I'm restless. Guess I'm sick of winter. Guess I hate my job at the moment. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets? If I hit it big I could quit my job and travel instead, LOL. Right now, that sounds good, and that's just about the only sliver of inspiration I've had in what seems like weeks or months. Le sigh.

Anyways, with March around the corner, I'm going to try and be a little more, um, I don't know, fresh and inspired. I feel quite stale. Ew. Now that just sounds gross.

No comments: