Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Wedding Wednesday 5/54 wherein I swear, am rude, and make references know...

Wow. It's only 10:30 in the morning and already I've been made more angry in the hours since the alarm went off than I would normally be in an entire week (ok do I sound illiterate when I blog? I think I might).

Of course there's nothing that makes you feel like a self-absorbed a-hole than coming to work in the medical area. There are ambulances screeching into the three surrounding hospitals with an ER, one of which is a Children's Hospital. Why feel so bad about my morning commute when I could have a sick or injured child? JERK. Then I get to my hospital, a cancer hospital, and let me tell you, I feel guilty as hell for ever wallowing in self-pity when I step across the threshold and see the many balden heads and faces swollen from prednisone and decadron, given in attempts to shrink disease or lessen the toxic effects of chemo. Double JERK. How could my morning have possibly been that bad?

Well, to be fair, it kind of sucked - probably not as much as those that three subsequent ambulances in as many minutes have ferried to the doors of the ER across the street from my office windows, but it did suck more than usual, as evidenced by an enraged email to Jamaal:

"hey baby

how are you today?
I am ok.
Actually. I am f*cking mad as commute was 2.5 hours. The trains were all f*cked up. I got to Braintree and the garage was CLOSED. I had to get on the crowded, crawling highway and go to Quincy Adams, where people were stopped in the "T parking only" right lane. I took forever for that stupid train to come. Then when I went to get off the train, this little tw@t was blocking the door, staring at me stupidly (um hi I want to EXIT) with her leggings and long sweater and oversized purse with many dangles and pieces of sh*t hanging off it snagged my ipod, and as I tried to untangle my headphone wires, she jerked her bag backward, like I was trying to steal something from it, thus ripping my headphones out of my ears and sending my ipod sliding down the wet and rainy floor of the train. Some guy caught it and gave it back to me, which was nice, and the doors of the train remained opened because, oh, huge surprise, there were 25 minute delays this morning, so I was able to get off the train in one piece....but only enough time to watch my bus pull away. I waited for 20 minutes for another bus to show (all the while having to stand under the insufficiently sized rain shelter while he SANG out loud to his iPod), and then waited another 20 minutes while the last of the passengers trickled in. THEN I get to work and it sounds like a F*CKING TB WARD in here. My coworker, and I know I should be patient with her allergies and asthma, is sniffing ever 20 seconds. YES I timed it. GET A G-D TISSUE. WTF. And the minion I want to fire? Yeah, she emails me today wondering why I took so long to send her her documents back. I fire an email back saying I HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME because I have other sh*T to do than her lameass document review and I get a friendly exclamation point- peppered email saying she's out of the office today. I am also getting sh*t from the stupid woman in California who is barely hanging on to her job about the numbers from the database. I don't know you dumb@ss YOU insist on generating your own don't ask me why they're negative.
alsdkfjal;sdkfj;askldfjl;ksdfj kldfj AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And the author of the book I'm reading pissed me off by saying JFK channeling John Winthrop and ancient Greece in his "city upon the hill" speech is arrogant and rude while she calls NYC "the greatest city on Earth."

I am going to drink some green tea and listen to soothing music.
This is when I'm p*ssed we don't live together; I could really stand to get laid tonight.

Was that last bit an overshare? Probably. I apologize.
So what has this got to do with weddings?
I actually intended to write a little bit about weddings today, plans that have fallen into place, a funny wedding nightmare I had where my mother cut a hole in the middle of my veil with a pair of scissors, but I just don't feel like it. Also, I have really accomplished next to nothing wedding-related since I started this little wedding Wednesday bit....oh except my sister has put some amazing work into our website. That has been HUGE...but then again that wasn't me, that was my sainted sister, who patiently html'd sh*t while I stood there and was like "ew don't use that picture of me blah blah blah."

I have a feeling that next week I might have some progress. But then again, no guarantees. I might only have more rage to offer. LOL.
Stay dry everyone.

ETA: Another thing annoying me today besides weather, transit and minions: I am very happy a college acquaintance had a beautiful baby boy a couple of weeks ago, but people are continuously commenting on the lone photo of him saying "Well done you two!" as if the child's parents had any control over the merging of their genes to produce fairly attractive (for a newborn) offspring. C'mon people!


everything and nothing said...

1. On Wednesday I also encountered an annoying woman on the bus. Soo annoying that on the walk to work I fantasized about what I should have called her (not appropriate for you blog. )I also imagined 'accidentally' hitting her with my umbrella and stepping on her feet really hard. Keep in mind this was a barely 5' tall woman who was minimum fifty years old.
2. I think i mentioned this, but DO NOT watch Vowell's Daily Show interview. It's all about NY, but I think she was nervous.
3. What do you say when the baby is a bit odd looking? A+ for effort?

PS: Sorry for spamming your blog.

Al said...

1. I too fantasize about doing things like intentionally elbowing someone, stepping on feet, etc. What has public transportation done to us??!
2. Apparently Vowell is really sarcastic about NYC?! Bookclub people reported this and said ignore the Daily Show and listen to This American Life. Interesting.
3. I DON'T KNOW. People lie all the time and say "oh she's beautiful" b/c no one is gonna look at your kid's picture and say "WTF?!" Though my opinion on all newborns being ugly is changing, I still probably wouldn't say "nice work" if I saw a cute one. I told my friend "nice work" after she gave birth, but that was meant as "good job pushing something massive out of a tiny opening and being in pain for 12 hours and not bitching about it." ha ha ha

everything and nothing said...

--Okay, now I'm intrigued because when I saw her on TV, at first I almost thought she was kidding, but then she kept going. I'll rewatch it. Is it possible she was doing the awesomest comedy bit ever??