Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Accepting Average

So I totally blew NaBloPoMo last November. I almost made it but didn't exactly sprint to the finish, so when word went out that '08 was going to be NaBloPoYr (National Blog Posting Year) I thought "Hell no, I can't post every day, not even going to try!" I am going to adopt the April theme though, which is letters. I'm going to take it on literally (hahahhaha) too, and go right through the 26 in the alphabet. GO ME.

So A.

I've been stressing a lot lately about a bunch of different crap, mostly school, though the general baseline of school stress makes me susceptible to all kinds of other stress and obsessing (like the wedding shower, or exactly what kinds of cake cones I will be taking to my friend's recital. I mean she doesn't care, I KNOW she doesn't, but I'm like "ooh yay, more obsessing fodder" sick). My friend EE called me the other day (to request the cake cones lol) and I told her that I needed some Xanax or something to talk me down from the ledge, because I am being obsessivecrazystressed. After offering me klonopin (half/maybe/almost/very seriously??) she started chatting about her upcoming recital and the preparation involved and how she's stressing as well. But then she gave me the most incredible advice, passing it on from her speech therapist lady (EE forgive me if she is not a speech therapist and I f*ck up her quote!) She basically said, in so many words, that people go into something expecting to be freaking brilliant king of the world or expecting total and complete failure, and all you really need to do is come out in the middle somewhere. Be average.

Holy. Crap.

That's all I needed to hear. I need to learn to accept average. I don't need to be the best at plant physiology, or at school, I need to be average, I just need to pass. I don't need to have summa cum laude on my degree, I just need that piece of paper saying I did the work. I don't need trumpets and flowers and little doves flying down to turn the tassel on my mortarboard, I just need to show up and get it down and walk away from Tufts and never look back. That's all.

Accept. Average.

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