Tuesday, May 15, 2007

It's like speed on crack

So in an attempt to rid my body of this infection (cold, not any other type of infection, EW!) I've resorted to Dayquil. I usually don't take drugs of any kind, except my daily anti-baby medication, and a fish oil capsule for the *pounds chest* ticker, and a vitamin *pounds uterus* with folic acid for the babymaker, to preserve it for a day when I am not so personally anti-baby (not that I am anti-baby in general, but to me they're kinda like those Bermuda shorts that are in style right now. On someone else, oh they look great, on me, hell to the no.)

Yesterday the dayquil worked some miracle on me and I could breathe through my nose. That's rare even when I'm not sick, given my allergies. Naturally this sudden and easy access to increased oxygen was a welcomed thing - I swear after having a funky evening (kind of down in spirits and fevery) I slept like a log and woke up pre-alarm. Day-um! Dayquil is my new best friend!

Now when I am *say in Natasha from ANTM accent* "having ze cramps, from ze periods and horrr-mons" I usually pound a latte with my Aleve because someone once told me that caffeine will speed the distribution of drugs through your system. This may be total bullshit, but if I think it works, that's enough. The placebo effect is totally real, so you know, like a half hour after I drink my coffee I feel all relaxed and am cradling my aleve bottle like a delicate baby bird that's fallen out of its nest. Naturally I figured that I could get similar results by mixing a medium iced coffee with 2 Dayquil. Holy crap.

At first, nothing happened. I was actually kind of dozy in my 9am conference. Then I was running around like a busy bee from 10-12:30 just getting stuff done. Suddenly, I sit down at 12:30 and it hits me. I am so jittery, I can't sit! I get up, then sit again. I eat an apple. I try and calm down by scoping out graduation gifts for some of my favorite Smithies. I stumble on a link to a book about gay marriage. I email a friend about it, with this elaborate plan that if she does indeed wed a woman, can I get her a v*gina cake? WHO DOES THAT? ME APPARENTLY!! Gosh. I had no idea that Dayquil+person who rarely takes medication+coffee+sugary cupcake= insane person asking inappropriate questions. WOW. Oh well at least I'm not talking to coworkers, God knows what would come out of my mouth!

Right now, I have to end the post though, because it's time to reign in my racing mind and apply it to work - you know, the work I'm paid to do. And I promise, that Bronx Zoo post, as well as a review of the book I just read "About Alice" is coming ;)

1 comment:

Excalibur said...

Ha, ha, you should make her a pussy got me dizzay cake, LOL.