Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Feelings

Briefly, because America's Next Top Model is on - if you've seen my flickr photostream or my last post you may have seen a picture or two of me being a bit weepy. Hey, if you know me, you know that the past few months have been pretty weepy in general, mostly due (ok entirely due) to graduate school.
Actually, I think being weepy is ok, and that's why I took a picture of me being weepy...... Hmm I think I should clarify.....start at the beginning.
In a previous posts I've mentioned the general amazingness of this lady and her photos. One thing that struck me about her 365 days set on flickr is the fact that she doesn't seem to fake anything - she captures how she feels in her photos. I thought "ha I could never ever do that because 1. I'm too private 2. I am too self-concious about how I look when I'm emotional, any sort of emotional, even happy because I look dorky" Then the whole Virginia Tech shooting happened (PS is it not terrifying how that has completely dropped off the radar screen?) and I thought about expressing emotion in a healthy manner and about not being afraid to share your feelings with others. It's healthy. Bottling stuff inside isn't. I don't think I bottle things inside too too badly (OK FINE I DO), but I'm ready to try something new, ready to put myself out there and be a little risky, so I decided that I'd take a portrait a day, and if one day I'm smiling and happy and the next I'm feeling sh*tty, well then so be it. I started on a bad day, the night before my animal behavior final, when I was irrational, angry, tired, sad etc. I took a picture. Amy said "that makes me sad" when she saw it. I understand that totally, but for me, it was really kind of therapeutic. Once I had captured my emotions on film, it was really easy to move on, like I left evidence of them somewhere and acknowledged they existed, but then was able to focus again. Plus I got to laugh at the disastrous state I was in and how ugly I look when I cry, LOL.

Anyways, to some of you this may sound absolutely mentally unstable. Or maybe waaay too touchy feely. That's ok. You are still allowed to click on my flickr link and make fun of my self portraits, because I think laughing is healthy too ;)

3 comments:

amy said...

I didn't necessarily find it sad - I thought it was weird that you posted a picture of yourself crying. Whatevs. Love the boob grab.

Al said...

Amy. It's not weird. IT'S FEELINGS.
Gosh. I put the boob grab up for you.

Excalibur said...

LOL, you're both so damn crazy, I love it.

I think you're choice to show young women around the world how to do a breast cancer screening and still enjoy the fruits of your labor should be commended, LOL.