"Somewh&re along the line !t seems to have been f0rg0tten that when you call !n sick, y0u @re supp0se (aha GRAMMAR MISTAKE...dumb b0ss) t0 call int0 the 0ffice when there @re l!ve human be!ngs here t0 speak t0 -- in 0ther w0rds, d0n't leave a message 0n some0ne's v0icemail pri0r t0 the start 0f the w0rk day (something that is accepted as the standard here!!). N0 0NE WILL EVER QUESTI0N WHEN S0MEONE CALLS IN SICK (then why is it so f*cking imp0rtant t0 talk t0 a live pers0n?). AND EVERY0NE IS ENTITLED T0 S!CK DAYS. But it is necessary t0 speak with your supervis0r to tell them y0u are n0t coming in rather than saying, this is my cell and y0u can reach me here later (you're starting to ramble here, sister). We d0n't want t0 b0ther y0u when y0u are sick (bullshit), but we d0 want t0 kn0w if there is anything we sh0uld be f0ll0wing up 0n in your absence (translation: we want to be able to log on to your computer, read all your email and see what work you're not doing), especially if it turns 0ut that you might be 0ut more than just 0ne day (though if you are, it might be time to start looking for a new j0b).
Let's remember this for the future (translation: listen up, you f*cking dumb minions). And, remember my b0ss expects me t0 speak t0 her when I am 0ut sick (I live under a veil of boss induced 0ppressi0n als0, but mask it my lording power over my sub0rdinates), so I expect the same courtesy from you all (cause I want to take over this company and it's the only way I can do it, by being mean to people, that is). "
Seriously, what flew up this woman's ass and died? Jesus. Powermongering bosses, it's a disgrace. As you can imagine my friend was quite upset and had to reply with a very long explanation about how she DID talk to someone in person that morning who said that she would pass the message to the boss, etc etc etc. IT's sad. Anyways, to console her, I drew a likeness of her boss. It's in its preliminary stages, but I will post it here anyways:
That's her. The evil one. She's green.
This is a picture of my boss in comparison:
This is no way resembles my boss, cept the blue eyes and hair color, but I think her general personality is captured here.
I'll do my coworkers later. Cause right now I have to take a crap. And my bathroom now has a doorlock with a code, so you need to leave your office a few minutes before you actually need to go. For planning.....you know....