pitying my yet to be born children, admitting to a few fetishes

when I'm bored at work, I surf the internet.

Yup. I do.

I used to have guilt about this, major guilt, til I realized that I haven't taken a lunch break in a year and a half, except the few delightful occasions where EE and I have met for a 2 hour jobbie somewhere between here and Symphony Hall. Excellent. But besides that, I haven't taken lunch, and dammit, I am entitled to two 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch break BY LAW. Deval Patrick says so.

I haven't updated my blog roll in a long-ass time and have noticed that some links are outdated and no longer work. I also notice certain blogs in which I indulge regularly are missing. Usually these craft-oriented blogs lead to my long hours, ahem, minutes, of internet surfing for things such as japanese fabric, purse making tools, crochet patterns (I don't even know HOW to crochet, yet so desperately want to join the ripple along because I have a ton of left over yarn!) or old books on how to make stuffed animals. I've also found myself turning my head sideways trying to make sense of a craft website in Japanese or Dutch or Portuguese because it looks that cool. Grrr, addicted!!

So a few days ago I was enjoying one of my favorite crafty sites, when I recalled the author's construction of some enchanting whale softies. When I get super stressed I often fantasize about sewing or crafting because it's selfish and self-indulgent and it's pretty much just for me (even if I'm making a gift, the time I spend making it is me time). These days with job crap and school crap I feel like I have lost a lot of self-indulgent time - I know most people would laugh at this, but I've even given up the every-other week trip to the cheap nail salon up the street because I don't have time, except for the occasional eyebrow wax! Pathetic! So in the midst of stress I start looking for whale patterns online and stumble across a few excellent sites: a birdie mobile site, an animal pattern site, and a stuffed bird site. Though I am many, many, many and let me emphasize once more MANY years away from ever having kids, if I'm ever lucky enough to have them, I began to pity them - they're going to be surrounded by nature crap and sewn crap and quilts and homemade baby clothes and knit sweaters that as soon as they're old enough, they're going to want to throw a heavy object at me. Unless of course, I brainwash them. Though sometimes I see our little family all assembled, me hassling my poor child for its measurements so I can get back to work on his/her back to school outfit or Halloween costume, while Jam smuggles him/her quietly out of the house to built our child into a tennis prodigy. Tee hee, this makes me laugh.

After I stop planning my nonexistent children's lives out I started looking for things I could make for me. Oh lord, the internet is a literal goldmine for crafters. Today on whipup.net, a daily favorite, there was a link to this site. Handbags. Beautiful, self-makeable handbags. I nearly drooled on my keyboard. That site linked up to Amy Butler's, which I refrained from clicking until lunch time because it came with the message: "WARNING!! DO NOT VISIT IF YOU HAVE ANY WORK WHATSOEVER TO DO!! IT WON'T GET DONE!!!" I started plotting which bags I could make, where I could go to see the bags and patterns in person, and wondering how difficult they are....THEN while at mightygoods.com, a site which I do not allow myself to visit much more than once a week for fear I will only increase my credit card debt, I saw this featured bag. Delightful. Whales are awesome, though I fully admit to loving the bird motif that's on EVERYTHING right now. I finally realized that it's completely true - I have an accessory fetish, an unexplicable need to keep buying/making handbags, purses and wallets simply because I can, because I can't help myself, and because it makes me feel damn good. The same goes for shoes. I recently bought these badass keds from shoes.com. I think I may have found the last size 10 pair in existence! Anyways, I've been getting emails galore from them, and they sent out their spring preview today. Holy crap. So wedges are in style, which is excellent because I find them comfy and they don't drag my pant legs on the ground - better yet, patterned wedges are in. GLORIOUS! I also snuck on over to the ridiculously priced designer section. I was browsing at some Stuart Weitzmans, a thought struck me: I have always lusted after a pair of very expensive designer shoes, but I'm generally toooooo cheap to buy anything that costs more than $69.99 (which in my defense, does allow me to be somewhat of a shoe whore without going broke). I reasoned, however, that if I found a wedding dress (if I ever get married, LOL) that was priced considerably less than I planned to spend, why not take the leftovers and buy a pair of gorgeous Manolo Blahniks, midheel so Jam doesn't feel midget-esque? I mean, that'd be like a gift for the both of us, right? I get to wear them, Jam doesn't feel like a midget. Perfect! Hahahahha perfectly rational. I also have a nail polish fetish, though it's slightly less exciting than my other fetishes, especially since the discovery of a Trade Secret at the Kingston Mall has made the procurement of O.P.I. nail polish less of an accomplishment compared to what it used to take (online buying, a trip to NYC, etc). le sighhhhhhh

Hmm I think that does it with the day's update. I've been keeping close watch on my 100 miles ticker with a bit of trepidation. I realized that all the walking miles I normally accrue during the week would come to a halt this week as it is my spring break. I thought I walked a whole mile yesterday, but it turned out to be a mere .75. Damn. I hope I can make it. At least I'm about to really step up my running schedule, as I'll be running the Harpoonfest 5-miler in June with my coworkers and *maybe* if I'm lucky, Jammy Jam. He wants to get into run, which excites me, but you know, you can't push ;) So I guess we'll see how I do with that 100 miles. hmm. It's a long haul but I might be able to get it done. Fingers crossed, grrrr.....

Well I'm gonna wrap this up. I have a list a mile long of things to do - my friend EE celebrated her 25th birthday last weekend and due to a large number of reasons and things we decided to have the rocking party THIS Saturday instead, so there's a bit of bday crafting to finish, nevermind planning for a hopefully large birthday brunch at my house, and then all the usual biz before a big weekend where nothing will get accomplished but tons of fun will be had. Sweeet. Just a little while longer at the job...then....FREEDOM!