Friday, March 23, 2007


*note: EE if you're reading this, it's fine, just don't look at my flickr stuff, your bday present is n the mix!!!

So I got tripped up on the 7th topic of Maggie Mason's book, which was "share your writing." By this she meant old embarrassing diaries and stuff like that. The thing is that I moved when I was 10, and most childhood ridiculousness was thrown in a giant trashbag, but I think this is a good thing. Anyways, I was trying to figure out what the hell I would write for this. I have Kenya journals but they're either sad or kind of only meaningful to me. What to do?

Well the other day I was throwing out my old planner, and in the back, on the address book part, I had scribbled many many many things. I tore out 3 pages. I should've scanned them, but I got lazy, so I'll just share what's written. Anything I didn't write on the page, I'll bracket!

Page 1


bday gifts

[due to a sad lack of organization, only Kristen got a gift]

Dave & Katrina baby
T&K baby
Oneal&Avril baby
[Jam's baby factory friends ALL got gifts though]

Amy- grad and bday

FP Auction

lions [originally this portion was quite a mystery, but I figured it out, these are all major cross stitch projects I have that are incomplete!]

What always shocks me when I take public transportation is the fact amount of poeple [huh?] who can't handle it. It's true, in this city it's not always the easiest thing, but for the most part if you use common sense and are able to read signs you'll be able to manage - or at least that's what I tend to think, but clearly I am proven wrong on nearly a daily basis. Take today for example. I was delighted when I realized I had timed my exit for work to coincide

Page 2

"I am irrepressibly hot"

"Dan can keep his Jewish foreskin"

"I want the C*NT" (screamed)

"I want a v*lva v*****************************LLLLLLLLLLLLLVAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"This room is full of penises"

"Those chocolatey teeth."

"All these f*ckin' mens"

[These are all drunked EE quotes. she probably doesn't remember saying any of them because she was so drunk she tripped and pulled me down on the sidewalk with her and cackled til this poor bellhop picked me up whilst she laid there cackling. it was so special. Needless to say, we have moved on and she's found the, well, you know, and is no longer frustrated by a room full of penises because she found the c*nt]

Page 3 [only half a page, it's torn]

[story c'td]
with the arrival of the CT3 though it sometimes mysteriously fails to show up.

I waited on the sidewalk for a bit, then noticed a crosstown bus rounding the corner. It said CT2, and I thought, "nah, don't feel like grabbing that one" and then noticed it was emblazoned with CT3 signs in 250pt font. Now I am excited, but to give poeple the benefit of the doubt, signs can be misleading.

Page 4

People mill about by the doors. When they open the driver shouts "CT3! CT3! CT3 to ANDREW! ANDREW! This bus is going to ANDREW! CT3" I hop on doing a mental fist pump [ps that is soooo something Jam would write in his blog, LOL] Behind me I hear whispering amongst the line that had formed behind me [duh] "CT2 or 3? CT2 or 3??" They venture forward to ask the driver. "CT3!" she says. "But your digital sign says CT2!" "I know," she says,

Page 5 [also torn]

"It's broken, that's why I'm calling the bus at every stop" And this happens at every stop, mulitple times. Hello people?? The train is a similar deal. @ park there are track assignments but sometimes the "D" arrives on the "E" tracks. People flip out! Why?? Stay alert! Read signs! Your might just get where you're supposed to be going!!!

Page 6

"Jamaal's in a week gon' be touchin' you there that little sh*t"

[also courtesy of drunken EE]

So there's my writing for you. Nothing grand, somewhat funny, and kind of bitchy. And oh so special, hahahah.


No comments: