Starting grad school has seriously eliminated any sort of logical order from my day. Hell it's starting to even make my life unordered!
I get up at 5:20am and inevitably hit the snooze on my phone. When I 'm lucky, the my cell phone, which I use as an alarm clock because yes, the alarm clock just doesn't wake me up anymore and it's prolonged beeping causes extreme rage in my father, falls between the bed and the wall where I can't reach it. It goes through a ring cycle and for a split second pauses, so you think "yes, I shall go back to sleep now', but starts right back up again, and repeats itself, to infinity I think. I'm not sure because on those mornings I haul my ass up and fetch the phone, and once you've squished your arm to your shoulder and your boobies between the headboard of your bed and the wall, you may as well get up already! Those are the days I'm fairly on schedule.
Most days, I get up at 5:20 and hit the snooze. Gary LaPierre on WBZNEWSRADIOTENTHIRTY tries to wake me up, but usually he doesn't. It's usually Bob Larson and his traffic report, or perhaps Joe Morgan in the BZ 'copter. If traffic is f*cked, I guarantee you I will get up. But if I hear "well it's not looking too bad yet" I will sleep for another 20 minutes. Sometimes, especially recently, my body, hungry for sleep, falls into another REM cycle where I have weird and vivid dreams which cause me to sleep til 6:40. This is especially bad, because I am supposed to be at work around 7ish. On those mornings I literally scream "oh sh8t" at the clock. In my mental fog I calculate the last time I took a shower. Yesterday? All clear, get dressed! Two days ago? Well.....how bad does your hair look? Three days? Ok that's effing nasty, BATHE! I do have the sense to lay out and outfit the night before, usually with underwear if I need a thong or something, so I jump into close, run like a whirlwind to the second floor. I throw on minimal makeup and some moisturizer, brush my teeth while I run down cellar to get a yogurt, spit, rinse, run to the fridge, throw some fruit on the counter, look through the cabinets for something carbolicious and then out the door to sit in traffic for any time ranging from 20 minutes to 90 minutes depending.
On Mondays and Wednesdays I work close to a full day. I then jump on a bus, a train, and then another bus to get to school. That takes an hour minimum, usually an hour and change. I then go to class for an hour and 15 minutes, then take a bus to the train and go home and collapse.
Tuesdays and Thursdays it's the same deal, only if I am being a deliquent employee, I go back to work. Ugh.
Why am I writing this?
Because once upon a time (aka 3 weeks ago when I wasn't in grad school) I felt in CONTROL. Now I've lost it.
And this is my vow to get it back, dammit.
I'm going to come up with a schedule. A schedule that lets me go to the gym, I really miss exercise. I'm going to come up with a grocery list of food for lunch, so I don't have to plow through the fridge every morning, or worse, like today, go to Starbucks for breakfast (ok that wasn't too bad, but it cost me 6 bucks!) and the cafeteria for lunch where I inevitably get something wretched like I did today: hotdog, fries, mac and cheese. Give me a heart attack please! As far as getting dressed in the morning, I'm actually working on that, switching seasonal clothes from storage and all is hanging me up, it's not quite time yet, but I'll handle that. I'd also like to come up with some sort of project calendar. That'd be great. I love having a craft project going, but I don't even know what I have, what I've started, and what I need to do for gifts. I need to organize that and work on my scrapbook.
Whew, it seems I have a full plate, but for the first time in 3 weeks, I actually feel like I can kick some ass! IT's a good feeling, especially after being down so long about stress and school and everything. I can totally handle it.
Does it suck?
Can I deal?
Can I be badass?Enjoy Grey's Anatomy. Cause it's on tomorrow, and it's HAWT. The End.
Hells yes, bitches.