Thursday, August 17, 2006

Television without Pity

I love watching reality TV because you're dealing with real people, and in dealing with real people it's so much easier to like/dislike/and pass judgement on them. You can't really watch "Lost" and be like "Oh, Kate has made bad decisions in her life and living on the island is her big chance to really turn it around." I mean, you absolutely can say that, but is it relevant? Not really, not as real to me as looking at Jade from "America's Next Top Model" and saying "that biatch is CRAZY!" THat's waaaay better!! THEN after the fact, you can read a wonderfully evil review of the show on

As with "America's Next Top Model," I have found the reviewer of "Project Runway" Jeff, to be dead-on in his assessments. I love it when the snarky reviewers and I agree because I know that I am watching the show and someone else hates the same character as me (not the case with boyfriend!). I was delighted when I checked in this morning to read the review of last week's episode and the recap of last nights, because Jeff had this to say about the designer I feel is the most vile:

Jeffrey tells us that, having not won a challenge, he feels like no one understands him. If I were writing a script for Jeffrey based purely on his appearance, "No one understands me" would be the first line. You know that guy says that shit all the time. He's really jealous that the judges seem to love Keith and thinks that Keith's greatest talent is bullshitting. First of all, touché. There's not a "second of all," except that I hate Cosa Nostra as the name of a clothing line. It just seems like one more poseur-y thing to add to Jeffrey's Big Fat Phony Persona.

This photo screams "fake bastard." Ok not really, but that's what I think he is!

While we're at it, I'm gonna do a rundown of everyone left. I know not everyone is gonna share my opinions, but I looooove this shit.

Jeffrey: fake bastard. yeah, I like his outfits, but I don't love them. The drawn on belt in last night's challenge? fabulous? NO! It sucked! It was not art, but that's what he wants you to think it is. His tatoo? Yeah, that's not art either. It makes him look like he has some sort of vise around his neck. Freaky.

Vincent: fucking nuts with an incredibly irritating accent. I want to shush him as soon as he opens his mouth. I really think he's crazy, he gets on my nerves, his designs, blow. The only thing that saved him last night, with his white sheath dress spackled with garbage, was the fact that Alison's design made her model look like a "giant brioche." Vincent's days are numbered.

Kayne: now at first I was like "Oh my God, Kayne is soooo fabulous" in that fag hag-esque sort of way, "like, I totally want Kayne to design all my dresses and make me look all poufy and pageant and gorgeous." Now he is starting to drive me crazy. I can't take the spaziness anymore, though I will admit I do love the gay bitchy passive aggressive drama, love that he reported Keith for having pattern books and got him kicked off the show. Here's the thing about "Kayne of Many Colors" - he's a teen girl pageant designer. He's really good at that, REALLY GOOD, but what else is he good at? Anything? Also, he looks as though he wears foundation, which is slightly disturbing to me...

Robert: he whines. his designs are ok, safe, but usually well made. besides his incessant whining, I don't really have an opinion on him. I'd be willing to like him if he proves himself, LOL.

Uli: LOVE ULI! She's fabulous. She's talented, very creative and creates gorgeous things. Plus she seems sweet. She doesn't get in fights, she keeps pretty quiet and to herself and dishes in the "confessional." She's in it to win, you can tell she is totally trying to keep quiet and kick ass without attracting attention. She is definitely in my top 3 favorites.

Laura: everyone says she's a bitch. I love her. Love her. People also say her designs are stiff. Well, then why has she been in the top three every episode people! Yeah, people say "she designs stuff she would wear." The judges said that last night too, except they liked it, they think it's great. As for her bitchiness, I don't really care. Yeah she confronted Vincent about his suckage at a really inappropriate time, but you really can't hide from the fact that Vincent SUCKS! I love that she and Michael share a bond, and she was making these odd hand motions in the recycling garage while he rapped and he looked at her like "sh*t white lady, what the F*CK are you trying to do" and just took her hand and said "no. stop" and they both cackled. I love the bond. So she's a bitch? So what? that's what it takes to win. She's in my top three too, though I don't see her winning unless she starts busting out some really intense and different designs. You can't argue that her clothes are extremely well designed and well made though.

Angela: I think she's pretty clueless, but there's something about her that makes me like her. The second or third episode when she latched on the Kayne I hated her because she was a leech, and then she busted out with an extraordinarily bad design (the owner/dog challenge) and was severely chastized. The past three weeks, however, brilliance has started to show itself. She, Michael and Laura made a fabulous outfit for INC, she channeled Audrey Hepburn brilliantly in her "modernize famous stars" challenge, and her recycling outfit was quirky, but colorful and seemingly well-constructed. I see her as very very naive, but would love to see her stick around.

Michael: Michael, Michael, Michael. On the first episode, Michael walks in. First thing I notice is "wow, a non-flamboyant man on this show. interesting." And then I realize "wow it's a non-flamboyant black man designer from Atlanta" Day-um. Then he says "I want Project Runway to make me a big motherfucking fashion designer." "Awesome" I think, "I love this guy." And I do! The first challenge I honestly thought he should've won -the coffee filter dress was amazing! I am so glad that he's recently come into his own and has won two in a row, though I know winning a couple in a row can be the kiss of death (santino, oh but wait, he sucked). I want Michael to win the show, why? cause he's not a pompous ass. He keeps his mouth shut, doesn't get into it with anyone and does not participate in any of the bullshit drama. When Keith stole some thread, Laura went to bat for him. I could see hime just standing there, amused, letting Laura fight his fight, and why not? Ha ha I'd shut up too, especially if I kept winning. Plus he and his model are the perfect match, I love seeing how they work together. GO MICHAEL!


ArtsyMama said...

I really liked Allison. Bummed she was sent home!

Jam said...

Yeah she was pretty good. I thought she had a chance of getting to the final three. Also thought Jeff did the best job with the recyclable challenge, although he was a poor loser.