Thursday, May 18, 2006

Signs You Are on the Verge of Having a Nervous Breakdown (not really, but still)

1. you wish the Poland Springs dispenser in the office was filled with vodka
2. you fantasize about standing on the seats of the train and screaming "shut the f*ck UP" to everyone making the least bit of noise
3. you wish there were more hours in the day so you could do all the crap you need to do AND sleep
4. you get pissed off that the dryer takes nearly 40 minutes to dry clothes and bust out a hairdryer to speed up the process
5. you have major deadlines at work but all you can do is google celebrity gossip
6. people ask you to hang out the next night but you tell them you can only plan in hour time blocks no more than 4 hours ahead of current time
7. you actually consider selling all your sh*t and running the f*ck away, but gas is too expensive
8. you actually consider selling all your sh*t, asking your boyfriend to runaway with you and elope, but gas is too expensive. Oh, and that's just silly ;)
9. you have this psychotic urge to tear up all the calendars in view. with your teeth!
10. you consider leaving work 4 hours early to wander aimlessly through Boston Common
11. your eyes won't close because they have been trying to focus on work on a screen for WAY TO LONG
12. you go to the cafeteria at work just for a change of scenery
13. you go to the bathroom just to have a quiet place to sit
14. you blog about your issues
15. you talk to your pets - they're the only ones that "get you" anyways, LOL
16. you talk to your plants. They are the best listeners ever
17. you wear a skirt to work not even realizing you have hairy legs (I thought that day would never come. sigh)
18. you make an afterwork to do list that has 20 items that must be completed in 4 hours and include such monumental tasks as "7. compose symphony" or "13. make lobster thermadore for dinner, baked alaska for desert" or "19. detail car" Insanity
19. you spend an hour at work looking up good places to stay in Iceland
20. while sitting in your desk chair, you throw your head back and see if you can find hidden designs in the ceiling tiles

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