I wish you would just shut the f*ck up and die

haahhha a little aggressive, the title is. But you know what? That's how you feel when you have an anorexic coworker who is not just anorexic, but also a grade A #1 bitch. I have gathered some of my favorite Anorexia quotes from the past year of working together so I can share my miserable coworker with the rest of the world. I know some people have it worse, absolutely, but this right here, is pretty bad in the most passive aggressive way possible:

"Yummy"
Anorexia says this about everything I eat. It's mostly because she is so hungry, everything looks yummy to her. The annoying thing isn't the word itself, it's how she says it. It's delivered with this tone of "it looks tasty but is so incredibly fattening I would never allow it to pass through my lips." Example "That looks like yummy bread" "That cookie looks yummy" "oh what a yummy snack, does it taste good?"

email 6/28/2005:
PLUS my COWORKER (anorexia) was supposed to have a 10 o'clock meeting...I thought "perfect, I can eat my food in peace." Then it gets moved to 11....now it's moved to 1pm!!! I'm like F*CK!! And then she turns and says, "I thought you wanted more food" and I wanted to say "I do, but I just don't wat to eat it in front of you!" oh welllll.
It's hard to eat in front of her. This is because she is analyzing every piece of food that comes within a 20 foot radius of your mouth. No doubt she is watching you to count your caloric intake and then looks at your body to assess exactly where the fat deposits are headed. Plus she's hungry, so when you are eating, it's hard for her to take her eyes off you...

6/30/2005

No news except ANOREXIA IS ON VACATION FOR TWO GLORIOUS DAYS AND I CAN EAT AND EAT AND EAT AND NO ONE WILL GIVE TWO CRACKLING SH*TS WHAT I"M EATING AND HOW OFTEN I"M EATING IT

someone will probably turn that phrase into something dirty, no doubt. It's ok though, i don't even CARE I am just busy plotting what I am having for lunch :) satisfied smile
Isn't my joy in this email actually sad? Now I do eat in front of her because binging at the end of the day made my stomach hurt, but I was in a dark place a year ago, LOL

email 7/12/2005
also. Anorexia is being a paranoid b*tch today. Like schizo paranoid...she's like 'they hate me so much here that they're just looking for reasons to fire me, but my work is really good, so that can't be an excuse, and I show up here on time, so that can't be an excuse, so they're auditing all of my work to try to find the tiniest mistake so they can have a reason to fire me BLAHHH"
Not eating food makes you paranoid. The end.



You should threaten to feed her.