Sunday, July 11, 2010

Why I Want to Move to the Island

So I get home from my very relaxing vacation and decide to check my work email.

Mistake n0 1

This tw*t in Cali, a woman I have never met yet know never to rely upon because she does not respond to emails in a timely manner (when she does they are always "sent from my iPhone" where is she, at the beach?) and generally does not know what the F*CK is going on, sends me this email going up one side of me and down the other about how I didn't "cc" her on an issue. She thought it was a new issue, assigned it to a programmer when the lead programmer was working on it. She was all pissed. Oh I don't know why, maybe because she looked as f*cking stupid as she actually is? Hmmm.

I actually started to type this explanation about how the CRA had been instructed by me to not continuously contact the programmers about the same problem, how I was really sorry about how he harassed her etc. Then I thought, HELL TO THE NO, this chick totally ruined my happy vacation karma, I am not going to apologize. Instead I replied "No Prob. Thx" Unprofessional? Yes. I hope it goes right up her ass. I feel a "L***a is a stupid ass" conversation between me and the office mate tomorrow. Eh.

MAN. You can tell I have had nothing to be evilly miserable about for DAYS. I have been living in a happy world of sun, boats, swimming, bathing suits, small birds hopping around and chirping, baby ducks, etc. I mean, maybe I was evil misery for about a half hour on Friday when I fantasized about buying a bb gun so I could shoot our obese neighbor who insisted on playing HORRIBLE music at full blast. Dude does not understand how sound carries on the open water, the fact that we hate hate HATE his shitty music, that his free-roaming dogs are a f*cking nuisance (and I generally love dogs) and that his existence on the island pisses me off. Ha ha ha evil misery. My sister told me that I sounded just like my father when talking about the bb gun fantasies, but I said that I was nicer because he fantasizes about shooting defenseless neighborhood animals, I fantasize about shooting (non-lethal shooting) annoying neighbors. I suppose this would nonetheless be considered assault, so this fantasy will live tucked away in my head until I find someone with a high-powered speedboat that could quickly whisk me away from the scene of the crime. Hmmm...anyone out there own a speedboat??

Seriously though, I had a lovely weekend and kind of did not think about work or the wedding for four consecutive days. Splendid! I read two whole books and some of another, knit, and played some cards. Good stuff. Except for one day, the weather was really nice and I spent a good number of hours in a lounge chair (with spf 70 all over my pale ass), and may have passed out for a while, ha ha ha. The sunsets were particularly lovely:

And there were rainbows, too:

Alas, vacay is over.
Tomorrow it's back to reality: work, lymphoma (endless lymphoma), apartment hunting, wedding CRAP (though I sense a shower in the forecast...maybe?) and lists and lists of sh*t to do.

For now, I'm going to watch pointless TV and edit my pics and throw them on facebook, and pretend Monday isn't happening.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

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