That's kind of been my 2010 so far. Kind of disorganized disaster. I haven't done my year in review in photos. I haven't done my "if I only read 10 books in 2009, it'd would've been these" list. I haven't even taken down my 100-ish books in 2009, though hell, it's not like the list is complete anyway. So yeah 2010 is a bit of a disaster.
Who was telling me about moving the beginning of the new year to August? I think it was my sister. Or maybe Andy Rooney bitching at the end of 60 Minutes. If so, brilliant plan. I think the enemy is not actually the "new year" but rather January itself. It's cold, dark and snowy and fosters immense expectations partnered with inevitable failure or disappointment and lack of productivity. Not that I am a den of productivity in August, but at least the days are longer and it's warm. Plus January almost always makes me sad because it was in the month of January that I left for Kenya and every time the anniversary of my "leaving" comes around, all I do is worry about whether or not I'll ever get back there and see my friends. Then because I am who I am, I worry about the ones I haven't heard from in a while, like Mboya. I am sure he is alive and well, but knowing he worked day to day in a cement mine has fed my vivid imagination and I have played all the possibilities of what could have happened to him over and over and over. Then there's the habit of family members dying in January, though we have been spared that the last couple of years, thank goodness. The noro-virus funeral was the last time it happened. *leaves desk to go knock on wood* Basically I AM NOT A JANUARY FAN.
Though honestly, I do think the snow is quite lovely. People fight me on this, but my parent's yard looks like some sort of fantasy woodland with the pine boughs covered in snow and birds flitting around and little grey and red squirrels frolicking to and fro....but I digress...
Needless to say, this 2010 general fail and disorganization has led to a factor of "0" when it comes to "things we checked off the wedding to do list." Yep. Z-E-R-O. And I thought I'd be sooo ahead of the game. HA! The only thing I've done since my last "wedding Wednesday" post is 1. ask Jam if he wants to go to the Barns bridal show 2. round the corners of my sample save the date and obsess about whether or not the rounded corners make it more refined and elegant 3. make lists.
*resuming from yesterday*
So I had to abandon my post yesterday to do work. ha ha yeah. I find myself a bit calmer this morning. I registered us for the bridal show and made no bones about needing to visit our venue and take lots of pictures - I believe I told the catering manager that I needed to take measurements as well. It's hard to catch tone with email, and I tried to sound nice but firm, and she seemed cool with everything. Jam and I keep telling ourselves that they probably deal with INSANE people on a regular basis, and the fact that we've only visited once, booked immediately and aside from one or two emails have largely left the staff alone til now probably bodes well for us. We're hoping that this will be our last trip down there for a bit; I thought possibly it could be the last trip to Middletown til the wedding in general, but I still need to see the church and find a florist, so more trips down are inevitable. Hopefully next time we visit it will be more a 'gathering info, paying vendors' type trip rather than "still planning things" trip.
I think another reason I'm calm is that I worked out some money things this morning. I wanted X amount of dollars in the bank by my birthday and found if I put around $30 a day I can make it. Now this probably sounds crazy (aka $900 a month!) BUT I spend money on so much useless shizz it's really not even funny - that has been the benefit of living rent free. I think that it's reasonable to guess that Jam and I won't be living together before my birthday. SO. Instead of wasting time blowing cash on stuff I don't need, it's time to tighten the belt and reinvest that money into ye olde savings account. Because once I have X in the bank, you are going to see my calm waaaaaay down, because it ensures that I've covered the cost of my half of the reception and have a decent chunk left for flowers, cake, tips...and maybe even a rehearsal dinner and post-wedding brunch, fingers crossed. So yay!
Finally, another thing that perked me up...I went through old Africa-related emails and found this one from right before I left for the airport in 2006:
show details 1/3/06
I love you to pieces.
Oh look at you with the high-tech phone. I'm not going to worry about you because I know you have mad spear skills.
I love you.
Funny because, yes, I do have mad spear skills. And sweet because, awrrr, Jam loves me to pieces. And then funny again, because I loved that high-tech phone....so much so that I put it in the washing machine less than 2 years later. ha ha ha.
Finally, pictures of what we were doing 4 years ago today (how time flies)