peeved

I wrote a list yesterday of things that annoyed me, but I didnt' finish it. So I went to edit it today and thought "well. It's all true, but how productive is this list really?" I can to the conclusion that it didn't really serve a purpose, mostly because I don't intentionally surround myself with people who annoy me, and those who do are only in my life because they have to be, and I can deal with that. So I let it go. EXCEPT FOR THE AMBULANCE RULE!!! I have spared that deletion simply because it is something that bothers me A LOT, even deep down in the pit of my stomach. Yeah, it's that serious, ha ha ha.

Things that annoy me:

People who do not pull over/cross the street in front of emergency vehicles
Yes, you might laugh at this and say "hey, if that's the biggest thing bothering you then have a nice life" but seriously, this one drives me absolutely crazy, moreso now that I'm working in an area that has 5 major hospitals/clinics within a block or so radius. The lack of respect I see for ambulances is absolutely ridiculous. Let's start with the city. I know it's congested in Boston and it's one bitch ass mother f*cker to drive in - I've been there, and I've been there and been lost too, believe me. But that does not give you the right to cut off an ambulance, nor take a left in front of it just cause the traffic clears. Nor does it give you the right to stop your car and not let it pass because you don't feel like pulling over. Here is the law written in layman's terms:

state law requires that ALL traffic pull over as far as possible to the RIGHT and COME TO A COMPLETE STOP upon the approach of emergency vehicles using red or blue lights; it doesn’t matter if the vehicle is using its siren or not; the statute specifically refers to the red or blue lights. Coming to a stop in the middle of an intersection or slowing down and then remaining in the center of a travel lane while an emergency vehicle attempts to pass is not acceptable. Violation of this state law carries a stiff fine.

These are the rules people. Time and time again I see blatant disrespect, especially for ambulances, which I would like to point are far more difficult to manuever than a more aerodynamic police car, when they have lights or sirens or both on. Drivers don't pull over and pedestrians leap into crosswalks trying to run across the street before the ambulance comes. If the fact that you are breaking the law doesn't phase you, I suggest thinking of it this way. Imagine you've been in a horrific car accident, or you had a heart attack at your house, or your spouse has cut off his/her leg with a chainsaw, or, perhaps your child has fallen into the family pool and doesn't have a pulse, your grandma's had a stroke - imagine you or any member of your family clinging to life in the back of an ambulance. Now the men and women who drive these things are good, real good, but you can't deny that you or whomever is critically ill needs an emergency room. Now would you honestly want the ambulance to have to slow down or stop for a pedestrian or a car that is hindering the way? What if you have to stop for 4 or 5 seconds? When you or someone you know is in an emergency situation, that is an eternity. What if you have to stop 10 or 15 or 20 times for 5 seconds? Those are precious seconds slipping away, literally, the difference between life and death. So before you decide to break the law and continue on your merry way to the supermarket, or the nail salon or to starbucks or whatever other useless mundane task you have to do, or before you run across the street to get to your office because you're ten minutes late for work, put yourself in the back of that ambulance and think again, b*tches.

and I could give you all the olive trees

I've definitely posted about the greatness of dooce before.
Well I guess she posted about music, either on dooce or on alphamom and she mentioned "I'll Believe Anything" by Wolf Parade. Ame played it for me and it sounded like a bunch of punk brits howling at the moon, but I thought it was catchy as hell. So today I downloaded it because a certain line gets stuck in my head all the time ('Give me your eyes, I need sunshine") and let me tell you, when you can only remember that one line, you want to shove a spoon in your eye as you rock in your chair and repeat yourself over and over again. So I downloaded it from iTunes (flawlessly, I might add, while my coworker tried desperately to download music on to her new nano and complained that iTunes was "blocked" -- of course I cackled!) and listened to it obsessively. I finally decided that I should just look up the lyrics too, so I can belt the song out in non-embarassing places, such as the car. Well, I looked up the lyrics and they really struck me as beautiful. Mind you they are not sung in a way people would consider "beautiful." I actually see my opera-singing friend cringing, but the delivery of the lines and the way they are sung makes them beautiful to me. It's as if the guy singing them is like "we are total fucked up disasters, but just stay with me and we'll make it all ok. I'll even give you olive trees........Here they are:

I'll Believe In Anything Wolf Parade lyrics

Artist: Wolf Parade Album: Apologies To The Queen Mary Year: 2005 Title: I'll Believe In Anything

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood
Your bones
Your voice
and your ghost

We've both been very brave
Walk around with both legs
Fight the scary day
We both pull the tricks out of our sleeves

but I'll believe in anything
and you'll believe in anything
said I'll believe in anything
and you'll believe in anything

If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd share a life and you'd share a life
If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd share a life and you'd share a life
If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd take you where nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn
said nobody knows you
and nobody gives a damn

and I could take another hit for you
and I could take away your trips from you
and I could take away the salt from your eyes
and take away the spitting salt in you
and I could give you my apologies
by handing over my neologies
and I could take away the shaking knees
and I could give you all the olive trees
oh look at the trees and look at my face and look at a place far away from here

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Give me your eyes
I need sunshine
Your blood
Your bones
Your voice
and your ghost

We've both been very brave
Walk around with both legs
Fight the scary day
We both pull the tricks out of our sleeves

but I'll believe in anything
and you'll believe in anything

If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd share a life and you'd share a life
If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd share a life and you'd share a life
If I could take the fire out from the water
I'd take you where nobody knows you
And nobody gives a damn
I said nobody knows you
and nobody gives a damn
I said nobody knows you
and nobody gives a damn either way
About your blood
your bones
your voice
and ghost
because nobody knows you
and nobody gives a damn either way

and now I'll believe in anything

Starbucks Cup #118, Beth Israel Deaconess

a very necessary venti latte for a very venti day

The Way I See It #118

There are those who don't
understand the nobility of horror
fiction. Isn't there enough horror in
the world? they ask. For all other
forms of literature, the value of
human life is optional. For horror
fiction, it's absolutely necessary. If
we don't value the life of the
threatened protagonist, we can't be
scared. And through our fear, we
better understand the individual
fears and values of our species
across the world.

--E.C. McMullen Jr.
Horror fiction writer and
editor of FeoAmante.com

An interesting concept indeed.

Stylehive

SO. I got this stylehive business and FORGOT I GOT IT!
I have to work on that!
but first, I must finish 1,453,287 projects.
I am going to update it though.
So all can witness my shopping whore ways, heh heh heh

sometimes I think coffee makes me a better person

And it's not just the inspirational Starbucks cups

The Way I See It #114

I try to go through my days without
judging. I can't preten to know
what is going on in anyone else's
life buy my own. I am
compassionate and meet people on
a human level. We all just crave to
be loved as who we are. Talk to the
next unfamiliar face you see or
brighten someone's day with a
smile. Live with peace in your
heart and bright light in you soul.

--LeAnn Rimes
Musician. Her songs can be heard
on Starbucks Hear Music station,
XM Satellite Radio Channel 75.

Aww, LeAnn, so idealistic and optimistic. You know she probably has incredible road rage and berates her maid and gardener on a daily basis. No, she actually is a nice person I am sure. Ha ha so evil, I am.

Anyways. SO blogger has been crapped out for like, 5 days. I went to post about 1 billion times only to be rejected. At first I blamed it on FireFox, with which I have a really steamy and volatile love hate relationship. SO I switched to Internet Explorer, which I still use for "important" business, simply cause a lot of bank and credit card websites aren't ready to jive with FireFox, but alas, I was denied with IE as well, so I chalked it up to being a blogger problem and let it go. Of course, these issues have led me to be a blog slacker and so much has been going on in life. Ah well, not important anyways.

So this weekend is the second weekend in a row I am home, after the madness of graduations and parties and mini vacations. I am looking forward to this weekend very much, and am hoping to get a lot of things done that I missed out on last weekend (mainly sewing, because last Saturday night I fell over my mother's sewing machine and she thought I broke it, so I didnt' dare ask her to borrow it, plus my leg was really busted and I wasn't up to much except sitting and stitching - now the machine is mended and the leg is trying, though when I was running to work this morning I could feel the knot in my shin throbbing still) Plus I need to tackle my magazine article filing. Jam called while I was doing it the other night and he was like "oh is this your wedding binder?" (I swear any other man who heard I had a wedding binder would run for the hills, but Jam seems to accept it as a personality trait "anal retentive magazine page ripper and filer") Actually, the wedding binder hasn't been updated in at least 3 years, which is ironic, because now that I'm actually with someone I want to marry, I haven't updated the binder. Maybe because I don't want to jinx anything. I dunno. I might update it soon. But I am being cheap about buying wedding magazines, whereas I used to grab the InStyle wedding editions as soon as they came out. Why I wonder? Anyways, I've been filing recipes, gardening ideas, fitness regimens, party ideas, crafts, travel tips and ideas and though tedious it's been fabulous going through that stuff and remembering it. I think the next step will be to transcribe the recipes I've collected to a better system. Ultimately I think this would be a database, but screw that til I get a computer upgrade because right now, my computer at home is in the midst of a complete meltdown. The binder at least will keep the little scraps of paper I have ripped out of magazines and newspapers contained for the moment.

Scrapbooking must be a priority. I am so behind in scrapbooking and I so want to be doing more of it. I have a secret scrapbook I am working on, and need to find a scanner so I can scan pics into it (my computer would not install my sister's scanner for all the tea in China, that little bastard) and work on that. I need to have that done by next weekend. Also, my pictures have arrived from Snapfish and I am about ready to work on regular and super special artistic Kenya scrapbook. And my regular scrapbook is behind too. Almost a year. Ah, work to do.

Cross stitching projects are fairly up to date. I am nearly finished with the baby picture I am making for one of the twin girls. I am then going to whip two small projects I want to have done, then the wedding picture for Danielle and Ron who are getting married in August. Then I need to do some work on my sister's gifts and my mom's as well as the Noah's Ark piece I want to do for Thomas and Kim. I still haven't heard from the store on Beacon Hill, the store that was going to try and sell my pieces. Of course just this week I read on a blog that I went about it pretty much the worst way, by bringing my pieces to the store. Ugh, it was slightly awkward and this article was like "It's bad for everyone cause the owners feel pressured, the artisan feels pressured." Oh well. If they don't sell I guess I can have the pictures back, LOL. I am not going to worry about that, that's for sure. I have so much stuff to do as it is!

Then there are the billions of errands. Buying work pants, buying bird food, buying running shorts, etc etc. Getting gas, volunteering, dropping off dry-cleaning. Yes, literally millions of tasks. But I feel up for it. I feel ready to take it all on. Because let's face it, my life needs some structure, the structure it really isn't getting right now. It needs budgets and lists and projects completed. That's a whole other story. For now, I am going forth to conquer! grrrr.

Before I go, I am going to post this gorgeous picture of Crane's Beach in Ipswich, which I have been meaning to visit for at least 2 years. I am going to imagine it this weekend when I get stressed.....this beach and all the others here

brief reflection on the bitches I work with

So I was just listening to a conversation between stupid and anorexia, two of my coworkers. Anorexia's brother is getting married soon. She, of course, hates the bride-to-be, as does the rest of the family (so she claims) and she is making this wedding as difficult as possible for everyone in her attempts to get her brother to cancel it from frustration or cancel it because suddenly his sister has made him see the light about the whore he is about to marry and calls it off. Yeah right.

Now I have no idea if this fiancee is cool or not because anorexia is an entirely unreliable and biased source. And she's fucking crazy. Regardless of these factual bits, the point is that the bride-to-be registered at Target. God forbid, not Target, which to them, is a six letter word scarily similar to the dreaded *said in a whisper* Wal-Mart! GOD NO! NOT TARGET! When she mentioned that bride to be had registered there, I said "Oh a lot of people do though." WHICH IS TRUE. First of all, some people don't give a crap about 300 thread count sheets and Vera Wang China. Secondly, some people do care about that stuff, but also register at places like Target that sell quality things that aren't through the roof expensive. This ups your chance of actually getting things that you registered for and provides an opportunity for guests who can't afford to spend $300 on a place setting of china to get you something nice. But like I said earlier. Target is a six-letter swear word to these girls. As Anorexia said, "why can't she have some fucking class and register at Crate and Barrel?"

I sat in utter disgust for a moment, then started to think about my coworkers and how fucking catty they sounded. Seriously. They sounded like girls who were in high school who had just lost for prom queen. Whiny and ranking on other people. Then I realized everything about these bitches is superficial. Anorexia is obsessed with her looks. We all say "ugh my thighs/lovehandles/belly/whatever could use some trimmin'" SHE says "I can't eat that, too fattening" or "I do between 500 and 600 sit-ups a day, and if I can't get a six pack, YOU certainly couldn't" or "Allison will probably eat my share of dessert AS WELL as her OWN" (translation, Allison is fat and a pig) She only wears name brand clothes, particulary Ann Taylor Loft, because they're the only clothes that really fit her shrunken frame. She will only sport a coach or kate spade bag and looks disgustedly at my Vera Bradley old lady tote (which I think is DA BOMB! It's got elephants on it!) and thinks that making homemade gifts for people is horrifying and that the amount of money you spend on a gift is the only way they'll know you love them - she was horrified that I gave my boyfriend a scrapbook for our one year anniversary. She was like "oh that's nice, but I am giving my boyfriend a magazine signed by Jay-Z cause he loves Jay-Z, like, a lot."

Stupid, my other co-worker, is just that. Really fucking dumb. She isn't as superficial as anorexia and will sport the non-namebrand items, but she does stuff socially because it's the "thing" to do. She's one of those people who just goes with the flow. She does stuff like drinks beer cause all the cool kids are doing it, even though she hates beer. Every night the Sox are home, she announces "I'm going to the game." Me: Hey, I'm out, have a good night. You have plans? Stupid: *tosses hair* Um, Yeah, going to the game Me: Oh awesome, you got tickets then? Stupid: Oh God, no, we depend on someone on the street to sell us theirs. She pretends to be SO INTO the Sox, yet she doesn't know the players. Another coworker, the ONLY cool one in this office, and I were talking about Doug Mirabelli and stupid was like "um whoooo????" I wanted to be like "For someone who goes to "every" home game, you don't know who Mirabelli is?YOu must be dumb. She also goes to the cape every weekend. I think she goes just so she can tell us she is going. "Um it's TOTALLY a CAPE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!" She also loves to come in in the morning and go "Oh my God, Cape traffic? So bad, ugh, it took me, like, hours to get down and back." IT's sad that she can't do anything originial. And pathetic and superficial and lame.

These girls are bitches. But you know what else? THey're miserable bitches who fool themselves into thinking they are actually happy. They fill their meaningless lives with kate spade bags and tanning salons and scalped red sox tickets trying to fill the void of pointlessness in their lives. The best part is that they're also clueless and have no idea that everyday their bitchiness and stupidity gets broadcasted to no less than 10 of my friends, just so the rest of us can realize how great our lives are ;)

Musings

Finally after three weekends in a row of travelling, I am going to hunker down at home and do some cleaning and crafting, about which I am very excited.

Plans for the weekend were to spend the day on Martha's Vineyard tomorrow, but given the ominous weather report, those plans will probably be cancelled as we are going out there without a car, or I should say, my sister and I will be without a car while my dad takes the one vehicle we're taking over to a traffic safety demonstration. I think we envisioned ourselves shopping, hanging out and maybe even lounging on the beach, but in the rain, those plans really take a nosedive, especially with the lacking transportation. I hate to even admit, but I was slightly relieved to hear the weather. These past few weeks have certainly been enjoyable, but grueling. Living out of a suitcase every weekend can be irksome, but make that three weekends in a row, throw in driving an average of 1,000 miles a week, and then add in 10-12 hour days at work so as not to lose precious vacation hours you get one tired person. At least all the travelling I have done has been for fun: sister's graduation in Virginia, cousin's graduation in New York, two-year reunion in Northampton, relaxing getaway in Maine. But still, my relief at sleeping late in my own bed is great.

Of course my bedroom is a huge disaster. My sister has been keeping some stuff in there while she moves around her room and unpacks her stuff and moves things she doesn't need at this moment in time to storage. I don't mind that there's a bookcase, a box of something that I forget and a large wheelie suitcase in my room, but this does make moving around somewhat of a problem. And since I can't access things easily, like my closet, for example, I think "hell I'll just wait to unpack." Deadly choice. Last night we finally moved the bookcase out, and instead of putting away my packed clothes, I dumped them in the middle of my floor, rolled up my duffel (Vera Bradley, Citrus Print!!) and watched Primetime instead of being productive and cleaning up my shit. argh. Now I have some work ahead of me. I am optimistic about it though, cause HOLY CRAP I have two entire full days at home! I am even playing hooky from volunteering, which I feel slightly guilty about. But only slightly since they've been a little bitchy about people coming in only on weekends. Ha. I know the directors mean well, but their job is running the sanctuary. Mine is working at this cancer hospital. 8-4. Mon-Fri. I wish I could work at the shelter, but it's not gonna happen. I think because I used to work there every day while semi-employed the directors are kind of bitter that I got a job and can only come on weekends, and though they have an overflow of volunteers they feel bad about telling me not to show up on weekends because I was once uber-committed. Ah well.

Anyways. Other optimistic things about this weekend are the multi and varied crafts that lie ahead of me. Firstly, I have an entire "fix it" table that needs to be dealt with. Broken clothes mostly, or half finished sewing projects. The purses I have made are big ones, they are just stacked on my fix it table. Some I haven't even made yet, like several for my sister, and I think the timing for making them is just right. Her fabrics are pretty and summery and since she is not a large bag whore like me, they would be just about the right size for her, so that will be fun, especially since I now know that plastic mesh is the key to getting the form of the purse just right. I think I need to fix a few of the purses I made for my mom too. So I'll do that. Then there is much scrapbooking to be done. I am working on a secret scrapping project, plus I want to do my basic Kenya album. There are going to be two Kenya albums. The first will be like my other album, simple 8 1/2 by 11 black paper. The pics will be mounted right on the paper, I think, with stories explaining the situation. I will put every single one of the 300 pictures I took in that album, with a few added in of the London side trip, which won't be in the "artful" scrapbook." The artful scrapbook will be the one I show guests. It will have about a third of the pictures as the big book, and they are my personal favorites/bests, along with some taken by other people on the trip. This is supposed to be my masterpiece, set up perfectly with stickers and quotations and mounted photos and colored paper. This may take a while, but I am really looking forward to getting it just right.

If I get sick of any of those projects I might try some others from the craft blogs I've been stumbling upon left and right. So I started reading Loobylu after Dooce featured some artwork of hers. Then I kind of got into littlebirds, which then led me to wee wonderfuls. I don't recall how I stumbled upon whipup or luckybeans, which has crafts but I mostly read because the author and her family live in Zambia, and as an Africaphile I will read anything that has to do with the great continent and reading a first hand account of life there is wonderful. I'm sure the author is like "my life is so average, why would anyone but family and friends read this (besides creepy internet stalkers)?" but I look forward to each new posts and love the pictures, even if it does make me "homesick" (is that the right word?) for Kenya times 1,000,000,000. Sigh. Ok, wandering off topic; point: crafty blogs have given me soooo many fun crafty ideas, like this divine colored pencil holder, which I intend to modify and make for my knitting needles! Maybe even with felt numbers.....oooohhhhhhh good idea...........

The only bad things about the weekend: rain so I can't garden. While this isn't heartbreaking or anything, I noticed that my small garden which is lovely from afar is unkempt as hell. It needs edging and weeding. And de-lilybugging, though I am tempted to rip up the tiger lilies altogether as those little lily beetle bastards destroy them every summer. Also, I feel like I really need to reign in my life. The past three weeks have been a flash of gas-consuming, food-consuming, nearly unconscious purchasing of goods and gifts. So when I read Suze Orman's column in Oprah about a young girl who was out of school but still lived with her parents, had $8,500 in credit card debt despite working two jobs and student loans, I thought it sounded hauntingly familiar. And then when I read Suze's advice to "stay put and get out of debt" I thought "shit I am never getting out of this house." Which turns into "I am not getting out of this house until I get married," which turns into "I can never afford to get married," which turns into "even if I do get married, I won't be able to afford a house, and we'll have to live with my parents." Once the thought process gets that far, I start to panic. I think this time the whole deal hit me hard enough to actually REALLY do something about it. I feel like I'm lazy with finances. I pay my bills on time (except the car) and pay more than the amount due, but I feel like I'm slacking because I could really be working hard at paying down the cards. Moreover, I should only have about 6 car payments left at this point, but I have more like 9. Awful! Especially when you consider that I could have an extra $325 a month to mess around with and put towards credit card debt. With that kind of spare change I bet I could be debt free in a year! Argh! So yeah, that's my other weekend mission. Fix life. Hahahahahah not like there's much on my plate is there? At least I'm no longer feeling like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown, LOL.