New Post, Unangsty!

Well venting felt good. I mean looking back I probably took it all too personally and totally overreacted, but it's better to do it here than at a person's face I suppose.

Anyways.

So I took a mental health day yesterday. I don't do that too often at all, it's probably been my 2nd of 3 1/2 years here. Never took one with my other jobs (I liked them too much, dork that I am)....though I took them at school all the time. High school once or twice and college, but NOT grad school, strangely, where I actually needed them. I think I only ever missed one grad school class!! Anyways, so I took this mental health day which was actually more of a sick day because I did feel pretty gross in the morning, sore as health throat (which still hurts and feel like it legitimizes the sick day) stuffy nose, dry and yucky eyes, sore ears, and freakin' body aches - where did they even come from?! I felt well enough to trek to work but run down and sick and tired and thought "f*ck it, I'm calling in." SO there.

The day was restful. I slept, watched something ridiculous on The Tyra Banks show, watched Recount thanks to Amy's Netflix account, slept some more, knit, listened to an eBook, then watched hours of Animal Planet. There were two sort of marathons on yesterday, Animal Cops Houston and It's Me or the Dog. Fantastic. I love how Victoria Stilwell does not f*ck around. Anywho, last night on Animal Cops, the Houston SPCA was given the task of rescuing some emus. Apparently the owner died and when his relatives went to empty out his jungle-esque estate, those were the only two animals they did not and could not take. The things were wild and totally unapproachable, but living in very bad conditions and clearly needed to be rescued. Now if you've never seen an emu in person you might think "how bad could they be?" but after being in charge of mosquito collection on an emu farm (ok why out of all my coworkers did I land that particular task) I have a healthy fear of them (oh and we collected there because emus appear to be particularly sensitive to Easter Equine Encephalitis and not only do you want to test to see if the mosquitoes in the area are carrying it for the sake of the human population, the guy on this farm wanted to protect his meat-producing flock). It may come from being in Africa and being told "don't approach an ostrich EVER because they may run, they may do something really stupid like try to swallow your whole hand, but their tiny brain may tell them to kick and their kick can behead a lion, their toenails eviscerate a human." Now I'm not sure how much of that is true, but it seemed reasonable. Emus, on the other hand, are much smaller than ostrich - the emu pretty much maxes out size-wise at 6-6.5 feet and a lot of the birds on the emu farm were about my height (5'6'') while the ostrich can reach up to 9 ft. Emus' lets are a bit less intimidating too, but like the ostrich they have those prehistoric looking feet with nails that say "do not f*ck with me. EVER." When I would collect mosquitoes, it was always a wee bit tense. Of course the emus were contained in pens, but could I rely on the electric fence if they got angry? What if the flock turned on me? Laughable perhaps, but when you are walking amidst literally hundreds of emus, the thought crosses your mind. They make this horrifying crackling and drumming noise when they're ticked too, which doesn't exactly put your mind at ease.

Anyways, I watched eagerly as the brave souls with the SPCA tried to wrangle them, because they're frickin difficult, as most birds are when they're being "wrangled." I mean, you should see Lily when I try and cut his little toenails. Sure enough, one of the birds wriggled free and sliced the the Assistant Chief Cruelty Investigator right in the bicep - even knocked off his cowboy hat, which seemed to be the most egregious, as in all the many hours invested in watching Animal Cops Houston I have never seen him without it. It was sort of the same feeling I had when my friend Anne and I saw our track coach take off his baseball cap to reveal an entirely bald head, particulary shocking as a mass of shaggy hair and unruly beard framed his face when the cap was one. Anyways, the investigator got patched up - it required a night in the ER, though upon seeing the injury I'm surprised the bird didn't tear any muscle that had to be repaired surgically, and used his mad animal corralling skill to later move the emus to a sanctuary where they'd be safe forever - ha ha probably never to be moved again. I guess it sort of just drove the point home for me - never mess with an emu.

Finally, Jamaal thinks that I should share my morning email (we write to each other daily, and if I start the day I usually make him read about my morning commute). Know that I try to be charitable and respect people's spaziness but today it was just THAT extraordinary:

Allison to Jamaal

show details 9:02 AM (1 hour ago)

morning love

how are you today? I am well but sleepy (must've been all the talking last night lol).
So have you ever wondered why people act so incredibly spazzy? I had two encounters with spazzes today. OK THREE.
1. Guy I sat next to on the commuter rail. As I sat I tapped his hand with my ass. Fine, whatever. Then he proceeded to shake his hand around like I had the plague, to the point where I wanted to offer him purell. Then he proceeded to bite his nails and rub his hand all over his face for the rest of the ride. Thank goodness I got off at JFK/UMASS. meh!
2. A lady opened the back doors on the bus (they're manual and dumb) and did not wait for me to get out the way. They hit me square in the back and tossed me across the aisle (because I was one of the few people standing - not that that's a big deal it was fine, but don't knock me over)
3. THE STARBUCKS WOMAN. omg. so she's reading a Kohl's circular in line. She keeps looking at me all shifty. Then she darts to the trash to throw it away, maintaining her watch on me the whole time, like I'm going to cut her or something. Then when she finally gets to the front of the line she asks for a venti latte, triple blended, three splendas and 140 degrees. What the f*ck. WTF??? 140 f*cking degrees? like can she tell? does she take a sip and send it back if it's not 140 degrees? I wanted to ask her "why" and if she realized that she was actually in a Starbucks and not a gourmet coffee cafe. I mean props to Starbucks and all but it is a f*cking chain and other people are waiting for their normal coffees. WHy you gotta be so spazzy?!

sigh. oh well. made it to my office safely after that. the throat clearer is the only one here, but I'll take her over the one next to me, who is annoying as hell. I am going to put on my headphones soon anyways. ALSO lunch theme today is "Old World Delicatessen" which would normally freak me out but the special of the day is pastrami. Oh JOY!!! PASTRAMIIIIIII!
ok that's sad. but still. it's ok to be excited about the simple things in life.
Also, I feel guilty because I think my other coworker might legit be at jury duty!!! (I suggested she had made that up - due to my boss's lax demeanor and "I don't care attitude" one could essentially lie about JD....)

Hope you have a good day dearie.

That's all for me. Have a Happy Thursday peeps - though how could you not, with Ugly Betty, Grey's and The Office on tonight. Yes I am one of those lame people who lives for TV on Thursdays. Deal with it.

What do I even say?

So I hate talking about money for the most part. I mean Jamaal and I talk about it all the time, friends and I joke about how we're po' etc, but a serious conversation about cashmoney is something I love to avoid.

I was commiserating with a college friend about loans today. I was saying how my repayments are going to triple and it's a bit freaky as one month's student loan payment will be approximately one and a half times a week's pay and that if she goes to grad school she should look for grants or scholarships or some sort of supplemental to her tuition. Instead of being like "oh good luck with the loans" she said "you live with your parents, I only have so much sympathy"

Ouch.

Yeah it's true. It's a choice I've made that's been working for me. Then this person tells me her month expenses not including food are $100 less than my entire month's take home pay. Which leads me to believe that she makes quite a bit more than me (or at least I hope she does, otherwise she's not eating!) She said that she'd love to have petty cash like me. Um. Um. Wow.

I so didn't want to get into it with her because I value our friendship way more than I care about her view of my lifestyle, but that really hurt. I mean seriously hurt. Yeah, I guess the truth hurts and all but her life is also a choice, and I wasn't saying that I had trouble making ends meet, how I lived paycheck to paycheck blah blah blah. I didn't even bring up the $700 I need to fix my car and how it's gnawing an ulcer in my stomach. Or the fact that after I pay loans and put aside my wedding money and my regular savings money I have $110 a week for food/gas/other bills (maybe this sounds luxurious, I don't know). I just dropped it and was like "oh silly me for complaining! sorry! I could have rent! I have it so easy!!"

The thing is though, it's not easy. Not really. And yeah, people say "find a better job" "move to the city, give up your car" do this do that - well that's not so simple either. I'm living in this limbo at the moment, waiting to see what's going to happen job wise, waiting to see if Jamaal will find a place and a job up here and when, trying desperately to save up simultaneously for a house and wedding. Things aren't simple.

I guess this post really has no point. I guess I just wanted to put it out there that just because I live with my parents doesn't mean I have an entire floor to myself, my own bathroom, my own cellar filled with dollar bills in which I swim every night. This choice also means that some mornings, like today for example, it may take me 2 1/2 hours to get from my house to my office. Daddy doesn't pay my car insurance, Mom doesn't float me cash for my cell bill or to fill up my gas tank or to buy my $186 monthly MBTA pass. Actually Amy and I never needed to ask our parents for money in college or as adults for that matter. Financially, we cover our own sh*t, and while yeah, we may live rent free, there are certain expectations we have to deal with that someone who lives on their own may willingly pay rent just to escape, like no, you can't do laundry whenever you want, no you can't get a pet whatever, no you can't have people over all hours of the day, no I won't pay you back for the $40 worth of groceries you bought for me at Whole Foods, no you can't SLEEP IN THE SAME BED with your fiance, no you can't take a shower at 5:20am that's MY time, no you can't cook in the kitchen right now I just cleaned it no no no. Then there's the whole "go to the liquor store and get me a 12 pack" "go get me a Boston Herald" "go get hot dog buns" "go to Wal-Mart and get me this" "you owe me $100 for the flowers I sent in your name to the funeral home" "I got an estimate on that car part it was $300 so I just ordered it you can pay me back" or "you WILL be around Saturday because WE HAVE to get XYZ done"

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, please, don't think of it that way. I really get along well with my parents, and my sister and I are so tight, bff tight, and things are good, and really affordable - I would be so f*cked if I lived on my own or even with a roommate and my credit card debt would be astronomical and Jam and I would be getting married at City Hall instead of saving up for this big fabulous event everyone is marking on their calendars. But you know what? All that is fiiiine it's totally my choice and I don't complain about it - I've made my bed and I'm laying in it and it is pretty damn comfortable. Not ideal, not a $3,000 mattress, but comfortable as hell. I'm just sayin' before you go and knock a friend down a couple pegs cause you think they're life is so f8cking fantastic or so incredibly simple and delightful and they have not a care in the world -
THINK. It's probably a little more complicated than you thought.

Victorious and Adding a Feature

I feel like my blog page is so junky that it's distracting...but today I noticed a sad lack of photos, well personal photos at least (though who doesn't like looking at Tom Brady?) I am thinking of adding a photo element again, like a daily or weekly photo. Hmm.

What else is new?
Well some of our fears were put to rest on Sunday by a Patriots VICTORY. Everyone was grumbling "our season is over blah blah blah" but I knew that 1. Brady is good but not the whole team 2. Belichick is a mastermind (ok no Spygate references please) and 3. Cassell couldn't possibly be that bad. I mean maybe we won't have that 19-0 season we've been fantasizing about since last year's Superbowl shame, but it oughta be a bit exciting.

*aside* I love local organic food. It's awesome, it's a good choice for me and for the environment. BUT I scrubbed this lettuce and there is still dirt on it. Ehhh. I will eat it because it's washed and there are probably nutrients in the dirt. I mean I ate a lot of dirt as a kid and turned out pretty healthy but seriously? ACK! *aside over*

So I am thinking of applying for a new job. I won't go into detail yet because of my enormous fear of rejection but hopefully will have details soon. The work would indeed take me away from the cancer hospital. It's proven to be such a rewarding place to work, but let's face it, I can blog right now because the rest of the week's work is in a small pile in front of me and will take no more than 6 hours to accomplish and as of now I have 20 hours left to fill. It's time to pursue something that will make me utilize my degree. And call me lame but the job I found would entail the beautiful integration of getting grimy as hell in swampy river areas outside and ALSO require nice clothes for public presentations. Rockin'.

Jam is in town tomorrow. Yay! Of course it is for school though which means I see him Thursday night, Saturday night, then he heads home. Er. I think he is grateful for this though because I am starting to try and do some serious wedding planning and I'm not sure he's that into it yet LOL. I keep mulling things over in my head, though they are somewhat useless til we tack down a place and date. Ah well.

Ok this is the part where I cut myself off. What a dull post! I have to eat lunch because I am off to donate platelets. I feel like I must be nearing the 50 donations mark....I don't know if you get anything for 50, but just telling people I hit 50 would be badass. Too bad they don't measure by units. My platelets are so high I donate a double dose every time - one of the smartass pheresis techs told me if I gained 75lbs I could donate a triple with my counts. I told him I didn't plan on doing that and he said "hmmm. well wait a few years." WHA? Not so sure about that one ;)

Triglycerides and Uwem Akpan

I just read a study about how triglycerides stay in the body 15 times longer when a person is stressed. I've always been a bit concerned about my higher than average triglyceride levels. My cholesterol levels are fantastic, with the overall number decreasing for the past two years, with my LDL going down and my HDL going up quite a bit - but those pesky triglycerides stayed up there. Mind you they're not abnormal, and my doc was pretty much like "well if you don't have diabetes, your other counts are stupendous and you don't consume a lot of carbs or alcohol, I really wouldn't stress too much. Just stick with a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise." I wonder if two years worth of stress could've kicked them up a bit?? Hmmm. I notice since graduating while I am very depressed about my lack of job prospects and feeling a bit lonely without Jamaal close by and with him in school, that overall my stress level is much reduced. I actually have a little less gray hair (though I'm not sure stress and grays are linked scientifically) and tend to not overdo it as much, try to pack everything into a short period of time to the point of having to pull an all nighter only to end up exhausted and very very sick (happened twice in the past year). Now I am determined to destress a bit more, get organized, get exercising and stick to that healthy diet. It's for my health!

Anyways, I never thought I'd actually finish this alphabet theme - ha NaBloPoMo from April too! Think I can wrap it up before 6 months hits? Anyways the letter "U" was a bit of a sticking point. I was uninspired....until I read Uwem Akpan's book. I have read a rash of disturbing books about Africa these days, though all of them have been non-fiction. I think this collection of fictional short stories may be the most horrifying. They are so raw and gritty and real that as I read I wondered what kind of awful things this author had seen that made him able to write such heart-rending stories. I googled him (of course) and discovered this interview, which actually made me feel better about the book. In the course of reading it I was overcome with a sense of hopelessness, but when I read that Akpan wrote it to bring the troubles of Africa into the light, I was glad that was his motive. It's a hard read, but worth it....I got a feeling reading "An Ex-Mas Feast" that's what life is like for Kenyan street kids after seeing them in Nairobi and Machakos, pick-pocketing and sniffing glue, seeing the slums of Mathare and Kibera but the story drove it all home for me, helped me "get it" even more (and made me want to help even more). I was not as much educated on the other issues covered in the book (except for the ubiquitous issue of orphaned by HIV/AIDS...well ok and the Rwandan genocide) but reading something written from the African perspective was extremely rewarding. Be prepared going in if you're going to read it though; at times it is horrifyingly bleak.

Recall

This is actually freaky. I had this extensive 9/11 recall post up here. I wrote about how it was a beautiful day in Northampton and how I went to class and didn't know til I got out and saw people distraught and couldn't fathom til I saw the TV at what type of great disaster could make people act the way they were acting. How we had a family friend who was seen on the 20th floor of Tower 2 but didn't make it out. How we've recovered but not forgotten.

But then my computer froze. And I saved AND copied the post....but when I restored my firefox session and tried to paste the post in a word doc, it was gone. Perhaps it was never meant to be.

Sigh. Anyways, I hope everyone makes it through the day ok, and if today is a day of mourning, as it is for our friend Sally, my thoughts are with you.

Tom Brady

Am I a bad person because I care more about Tom Brady's injury than Barack Obama's poll slippage???


Because I do..............so much more.

Top Model

I am so the product of my undergrad environment LOL.

Well. Ok, maybe not completely, since I rushed home last night after getting my fake nails buffed up and a sparkly, flower-bedecked pedicure on my toes to watch the two-hour season premiere of "America's Next Top Model"....it's probably a little anti-all-women's-superpower-college of me, but who doesn't love Miss Jay and Tyra saying "This girl needs some ugly-pretty because she's just pretty-pretty, and pretty-pretty is ugly-ugly." Rockin.

Anyways, the whole "product of my environment" kind of hit me last night while watching ANTM and the girls' reaction to the first "transistioning" contestant, Isis, who was born physically male but "in the wrong body" an is transistioning to female. There was a real mix of horror, disbelief, chill-whatever-ness, disgust and then, total blankness. The "Oh sh*t, I don't know how to react so I will stare at my feet" which to me, is better than the whole disgust thing.

Transgender-sensitivity training was something I underwent every year at Smith. They delve into in your first year so you don't go up to a fellow student and do something embarrassing, like direct the seeming fourteen-year old boy wielding a skateboard back to the high school, only to find out that yes, that is the person who sits next to you in "The Art of Southeast Asia" and lives in the house (dorm) next door. Whoopsies. I then became a Head of New Students my sophomore year and since you are sort of a guide to the in-coming students they really lay sensitivity training on thick, covering race issues, sexual orientation issues, and a special part for transgender issues. My senior year I was house president and during that week-long training we spent a whole day on "issues" I think it was good for me though because I feel as though I came out of Smith pretty chill about the whole sexual orientation/transgender thing. I mean, true, it would not be my personal choice so I can't really "understand" what it's like to BE transitioning/questioning/gay etc, I can only understand what it is like to be me, but I can be open about the whole thing and cool with it.

Why? Cause ulitimately I don't give a sh*t how you choose to live your life if you are a good person. I think that's what it has really come down to for me since college and the years of being "out in the real world" and having to interact with all kinds of people, and having to deal with a changing America - and by changing America I mean having to vote in church as to whether or not we will "allow" gay couples to be married (I'm glad I missed to vote because I have all kinds of problems with this that I won't even go into because it would involve a separate post on the word "allow" alone, then a post on why I don't think a congregation should ever dictate what a minister can do if he feels he is doing God's work, whether we pay his salary or not) Had I been present in the congregation that day I would have voted "yes" without a second though, without worrying about the judgements that might be made of me by the rest of the congregation (the majority of whom voted "yes" by the way) or by my family (who all voted yes, though my parents struggled with the decision a bit). My mother explained later why she and my father voted "yes" - my mother, a Protestant, and my father, a Catholic, were not allowed to marry in the Catholic church unless my mother converted (yeah right, ha) and even had a difficult time finding a priest to reside over the marriage (the State Police chaplain finally came through). My mother said "I know what it's like to be told you can't get married. I looked at Chad (our gay organist - how he sat through this vote is beyond me) and thought about someone having to tell him he couldn't marry his boyfriend and I thought about how sad that was and I couldn't do it, I couldn't vote no." I think my father may have struggled less with this decision not only because of the marriage issues he and my mother faced but also because of his very much lapsed Catholicism....I think. Maybe he just doesn't find it as big a deal. I dunno for sure.

When she asked me to justify my reasoning I said "Because I don't care" She wouldn't take that as an answer. Finally I said "Look Mom, I know a lot of straight couples who are frickin' miserable and fight and have affairs and get divorced. If the legalization of gay marriage and our vote for Rev. Don to perform the ceremony allows to happy loving people to make a life together, that's all I could ask for." That seemed to satisfy her, or at least satisfy her better than the "I don't care" statement. The thing of it is, that I really DON'T care - just go, be happy, do the world some good, and don't be a jerk, those are my only requirements LOL.

So anyways, back to Isis. It's her damn business that she is transitioning to a woman. I mean if you want to ask questions to learn, that is cool, but seriously, all this "ANTM is for girls only, no man is gonna beat me" and "this is not a drag competition" (OMG) is sooo not cool. And this whole "good southern values" = transgender person gets shot is bullsh*t. How do I know? A transgender student lived in the house next to ours and shared our dining room with the rest of his housemates. He began transitioning between freshman and sophomore years, and this was a bit hard for some people as he showed up and left as "Joanna" and came back as "Jo". I met him as Jo. No biggie. Because some of our housemates knew Joanna and were confused and because we had a LGBT workshop at one of our Friday teas, Jo volunteered to give us his perspective, and one of the things that struck me was the reaction of people in his small, rural western-Virginia home. He said that he was really nervous because everyone knows everyone in this town and it's the type of place where old men sit in chairs on the porch of the general store and talk about the passersby. He said at first everyone was like 'um. what? you're a girl, why do you want to be a boy?" But he went out and he wasn't afraid to answer questions and face adversity, much like Isis on ANTM. He said that there would always be people who didn't understand, but small towns are protective of their own he found, and the people in his town stood by him and made sure no one made a fuss.

Anyways, I suppose the moral of the story is that education is the key. I am sure that many of these girls have never met anyone who identified as transgender/transsexual/trapped in the wrong body and their initial reaction of shock or bewilderment is natural (I can't remember my reaction. probably "heh??!" but I tend to hide things well) and I give Isis mad props for dealing with their questions the was she has so far, 'cause it's got to be exhausting. What I don't like is the refusal to accept another person as they are. Some of the girls even gave Elina a hard time for dating other women. Just because it's not your personal choice doesn't make the person whose choice it is "wrong" or "weird" or "freaky" or "bad." They're just different from you. I mean that's what makes this world so freakin' interesting. There's no two of us alike and we have such an opportunity to learn from one another. I'm very grateful that I do live up here in Massachusetts which has been a bit of a pioneering state (don't believe the Californians and all their hoopla, WE were the first state to legalize gay marriage a whole four years before they did!) where a more open environment is fostered (most of the time, there will always be exceptions). I like being around different people with different values and beliefs, because even if I struggle to understand them, it still opens up an opportunity for me to learn. I just hope the mostly-vapid immature ANTM girls will grow a little bit and embrace their chance to learn a little bit more about something other than themselves.

Ok. I'm climbing off my high horse now and reverting back to my trashy-reality tv induced judginess to show you my favorites:Elina. Her stomach tattoo definitely freaked me out at first, but then I heard her talking and loved her reaction to the "You date girls?" and "Girls are so moody!!" comments and I dig her. I am worried about her whole vegan platform. Not that that's not cool BUT I hope it doesn't turn into a "thing."

Isis. Duh. Just wrote a whole post about her. She's fieeeerce.



Joslyn. I don't know how good she'll be but I like her positive attitude.
McKey (TAFKA Brittany). I like her mostly because Clark doesn't like her and makes fun of her and I think Clark is foul. I also like her pretty pretty red hair and her kickboxing bod. Right on.

Sheena. OMG she is my favorite. Initially I was like "SHUT IT HORRRRR" but that only lasted for about five minutes. Ummm loved how she is just out there and doesn't give a sh*t, and also loved how she "doesn't hate and dates all races and all flavors" which prompted Ms Jay to say "You're an equal opportunity employer." Heh. What else - she's got a rockin' bod and is not freaky skinny - I love me a girl with a booty. She's just chill. She so far hasn't made judgements or said anything nasty about anyone else (though that won't last most likely LOL, around episode 4 the true bitchery begins). She also concluded episode 1 with "You're not ready for this yellow fever" Awesome.

Well that's it for me and my ramblingness. Better get back to work.

P to the S: Is Nigel not hotter than ever this season? daaaang
P to the P to the S: I cannot tell you how much I love Ms. Jay "Girl, you so country but I looooove it" I love you Ms. Jay. Times ten.
P to the P to the P to the S: could you even BELIEVE that the girl from Harvard could not name ONE English-lit female heroine???!! I mean at first I thought she was thinking, because I would have a really hard time choosing between Cathy from Wuthering Heights, Jane from Jane Eyre, Elinore from Sense and Sensibility, and Anne from Persuasion (and those are just the 19th century female English authors!!) but no. She was silent. Nothing. And then freaking TYRA BANKS a women whose intelligence I used to think was somewhat iffy, starts with "what about Rebecca? What about The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck? What about Jane Eyre?" After I recovered from the girl from one America's top Ivies not being able to come up with an answer, I sat for a moment and let Tyra's sudden smartness wash over me. Yeah anyone can list books true, but I guarantee you if you interviewed people on the street, more than half wll probably say they never heard of them. I mean I talked to someone I think is very intelligent and very well-educated and I said "you know, Jane Austen, the author" and he said "Never heard of her" Ummm. As Amy would say "skurry" At least his major wasn't English Lit though!

Sexy Summer, now September

Oh god LORD how did September happen?
Yikes!

I have to say though, the fam ushered in September in fantastic fashion. It turned into a very low key weekend, the highlights being running errands with dad (always hilarious - especially at Home Depot), drinking four or five margaritas at our southwestern fiesta party with the neighbors, getting a stack of books out of the library, buying much needed girlie supplies to fill the empty beauty/personal care product coffers, falling asleep with Lily on my bed to wake up finding him dozing next to me (awwrrr), being home alone with Ame and watching one disturbing movie (Lust, Caution) and one fantastic very sweet movie (Arranged), fabric shopping, and ROOM ORGANIZING. Oh, and successfully diagnosing my pet fish with a fungal infection and getting to the pet store to buy medicine before the whole tank came down with it. That was a pretty big triumph for me . Conclusion: pay more attention to the fish!

Anyways, I looked over my goals for the summer (which technically I do not consider over until it's too cold to go out in flip flops, and we're good for another month up here) and I did fairly well. I did get very organized, though not wedding organized, not quite yet. I did hang out with Amy and watched about a zillion episodes of Grey's Anatomy and crafted, during our cancelled vacation. I didn't make it to NH for more than five days, though that is because my granfather's retina started bleeding like a mofo and he couldn't go up there (and we need him to drive the boat). So that was a unforseen complication. I never got to hang out with my friend Jenny and her daughter, but that is also due to complications, as her grandma is very very sick right now and the timing is no good. I didn't fly a kite either, but hell, I got tiiiime. There's some other stuff I didn't get to, but I'll get there eventually.

I guess this post is pretty damn boring. Oh well. This entire summer I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off and this is really the first time I feel calm and relaxed. It's really fantastic. I think knowing I don't have to go back to school this fall is a huge reason why. The only thing I'm worrying about right now is how I'm going to get my backlog of homemade gifts finished before the holidays hit! I'm not even stressed about work or the fact that the job market is abysmal (and the fact that I haven't heard from the company to which I applied, sadly). No stress. Just looking to enjoy the end of summer and the lucious New England fall. Oh yeah :)

I Heart Nas Times ONE BILLION!

So I knew nothing about this Olympiad's US Women's Gymnastics team. I don't know how I got so out of touch. I mean, being from Massachusetts I heard a bit about Alicia Sacramone, but I couldn't really match faces to names. For some reason, during the prelims, I decided that I was a Nastia Liukin fan. I don't even know why. Just decided I liked her style, she did NOT seem like a drama queen at all, seemed genuine in her friendships with her teammates, and was a tremendous athlete. Oh, and knew how to take a fall and get right back up and shake it off. WHAT A WOMAN!
Naturally last night, I was rooting like crazay for "Nas" and it sooo paid off. She rocked. Thus continues my mad mad Olympic love. Sigh. If only synchro were primetime!!

I Heart the Olympics Time One BILLION

I really do. I just love love love them. Totally. Watching this live was one of the greatest sports moments I've seen on television. It beats the Superbowls, hardcore Patriots fan that I am. It beat the Celtics winning the finals. It's right up there with the '96 gymnastics team winning gold with Kerri Strug's heroic vault on a busted ankle and the Red Sox breaking the 86 year curse. I will say that without a doubt, it was probably the most exciting sports moment I've ever witnessed. Good lord. Loves it. This week is going to leave me overtired to hell, re-addicted to coffee, and oversleeping probably every day....oh but it's going to be soooooo gooood.

Overdue R Post

Wherein I discuss:
Ramirez, Ravelympics, Reading, Revolts, Rivers, Romance

Manny Ramirez: Last year I liked Manny enough to invest in a Ramirez Red Sox Tee. Then he shoved an old man, slapped Kevin Youkilis and didn't play on purpose. The verdict: Good riddance, I won't miss you, I'm just pissed I wasted $20 on the shirt. I should've bought a Jon Lester shirt.

Ravelympics: I tried to resist the Ravelympics. I tried to resist starting a new knitting project. But I couldn't heck no, I couldn't. The point is basically this: you cast on at the start of the Games (Beijing time) and cast off by the end, having completed an entire project during the games. Of course, forget the projects I'm working on, the wedding gift that is now 2 months overdue, the shawl for my mother and the conundrum I'm facing with the unmatching yarn. Forget it. Forget it and start this, a selfish project for myself, in this luxurious black mohair with beads. It's hawt. I hope I can finish because casting on was an absolute bitch and a half. I won't have the neat little ends shown in the picture, but I was not about to rip anything out. Noooo way.

Reading: I've been reading some pretty fantastic books lately. Of course there have been the duds. "1491" was fascinating, but read as disjointed and jumbled, with a lot of personal "storytime" from the author. Then there was the delving into incredibly rich detail about things such as spearheads but would then gloss over things like those Olmec heads saying something to the effect of "the curious thing about the Olmec heads was that the helmets the figures wore resembled those worn by Chinese soldiers." Um. Ok. Elaborate please? Regardless of its flaws, it made me want to learn more about several of the topics discussed in the book. Other badness? I hated, hated the end of "Friday Night Knitting Club." I am not above sad endings. Sometimes I even like a good cry. It was so tacked on though, like the author thought of the ending first or was desperate to finish the book and wanted a dramatic ending...it was the desperation of the ending that drove me crazy, shocking, tacked on, etc. Blah.

Enough negativity though. You know what I have loved? Delving into books about Africa. There have been some adventure ones, some save the animal ones, and some more serious ones, all AIDS and orphans and the struggles of international adoption and negotiating the legal system in post-colonial nations. What I love more than anything is that each of these books embraced some element of Africa, some gritty piece of glorious, beloved Africa. Peter Allison's book was by far the most entertaining and hilarious. His stories paint a vivid picture of safari life and are heartfelt and humorous. I laughed out loud when I read parts of this book. Neely Tucker's book made me cry (in a good way). His story of trying to adopt his daughter, a child found in the bush, tossed away like trash, is heartwarming. You feel his frustration as he tries to navigate through all the proper channels of the post-colonial Zimbabwean government and your heart breaks as he tells the stories of the orphanages visited by him and his wife. This is actually a great portrayal of how frustrating it can be to deal with certain authorities in Africa. Though my experience in Kenya is far limited, I have known the whole waiting in line for hours only to get turned away, told you were in the wrong line, or even questioned as though you were a completely suspicious person with something sinister in mind. I can't believe the patience and love and compassion maintained by the Tuckers throughout the whole experience. Similarly, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the difficult situation of orphans, AIDS orphans in particular, and the challenges facing those brave enough to become caretakers. Her biography of Haregewoin Teferra was enormously educational and I am grateful I read it, having almost tossed it aside as "too long, too depressing." Nicole Itano's book was similarly educational, though I loved how she profiled three specific people as a way to make Africa's stuggle with HIV/AIDS more personal. Finally, Mark and Delia Owens talk about their noble pursuit to save the elephants in Luangwa Valley in Zambia. I loved this one because they HAD to integrate people into the bigger wildlife management "picture." Check out their foundation - I fantisize about starting such an organization!

Revolts: Listen to this - I have a cousin, whom I have never met and don't care to, who lives in California and teaches at one of the UC's. We can't remember which one. Anyways, a cousin said to my father "I went out to visit Jack and he's got a TON of guns in his house. Like a ton." "Well," said my father "He was always into weaponry and hunting and such" (later my father told me about a fishing trip they took where Jack killed a bullfrog with a knife, thus scarring my father for life.) So my cousin says "yeah, but you know what he said when I asked them what they were all for? He said they were for 'the revolt'" "What revolt?" asks my dad. My cousin says "Well that's what I asked "what revolt?" and he said "for when the blacks revolt. I want to have adequate protection." Obviously I was horrified when my father relayed this story - even my cousin who is a bit of a redneck from Maine was appalled. My dad and I sort of sat there silently. Then he started laughing and said "You know what would really unscrew him? Sending him a wedding announcement. That would just drive him crazy. That'd be great." I think that'd be pretty funny....but I think I'll just pass on that one.....

Rivers: I've rediscovered the North River. It's practically in my back yard. I've been out on it twice and it's been faaaaantastic. It appeals to all of my bird nerd tendencies, plus it puts my kayak to good use. Of course this week's forecast is craaap. Ah well. I'm loving it. I have fantastic photos, but haven't uploaded them yet (lazy).

Romance: So I was watching a movie the other day. Or perhaps TV - ok I forget. There was this uber-romantic scene where the guy does something really nice for the girl and everything is all warm and fuzzy, blah blah blah (ok it sounds like I was watching Grey's Anatomy, lol). So I was wondering - when Jam and I live together, will he be a romantic person? I mean he totally does what he can from afar in Brooklyn, but as our lives have become a little more frantic from school and such it's sort of gone by the wayside. I mean it's not the end of the world or anything, I mean a person can't expect flowers every five seconds but.....I dunno....I guess I just wondered if there would be a revival once we lived together and got married. I hope so - in a very childish way, I totally acknowledge that it's ridiculous and somewhat juvenile - but let's just say, it would be nice.

Too bad Jam doesn't read this anymore. You know, so he could get my oh-so-subtle hint. Le sigh.

Ok that wraps up the R's. I'm good. Hope you're all good too.

written to Jamaal just now...

....

Also at the cafeteria the guy in front of me had an order that came to 6.66. The cashier, who is this crazy Haitian lady who is always saying "Jeeeesus help me get through this day, I have to go organize the chips" stopped right away when she saw 666 and screamed "666 is the devil NUMBER! Baby, you need to buy a candy, purge the devil's number out of this machine (imagine all this with a very heavy Haitian accent)" The kid is like 'Aw, I don't believe in that stuff.' She goes "oh oh but it is real! Lucky for you I will pray for you tonight! Jesus help you! You should buy a candy though" He's all "I don't want a candy" So she says "Ok. But you're marked by the devil's number, I will have to pray for you tonight." Then she said to me "Your order better not come to 6.66" I said "oh I don't mess with the devil, I'd buy the candy." duh. cause it's candy!!

So bored at work.....

....I started reading Tremble archives.....and found the one that describes me these past few weeks (sans movie deal, ha):

"RICHARD SCARRY'S 'BIG BOOK OF ENNUI'.

Here's a new entry for your 2003 edition. Today, I was so existentially bored, that I drank a ton of water and made myself urinate just so I could make the trip to the bathroom and feel like I did something today. And then, to make it worse if only by legitimizing it, I wrote about it in my secret public diary. And that's not all: Paramount Studios just optioned the story for $5 million.

WE FIRST MET ON 09.18.2002"

I think I might have to read his whole blog now. See how else this guy got in my head....or at the very least, look for other posts that discuss how to combat work boredom. So far the peeing thing is useful, but then I just want to stay on the can and take a nap....I've watched all of abc's online episodes, even "Wipeout" (sad, just sad)....music, ha ha ha we're so past music, and eating just makes me sleepier. There's got to be another way. I could post my letter R post, but I'm waiting on pics. I guess I'll just keep drinking water for now...mmmeeeehhhhhh

A Meme To Suck Up Some Time

Glorious Meme!!
Here's what I got
From this:

Using fd’s Flickr Toys,

• Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
• Using only the first page, pick an image.
• Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The Questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

Now I haven't had a celebrity crush thing for a while...but when I really put my mind to it I was like "sh8t. Patrick Dempsey is hot, right?" I type in his name and get a PICTURE OF HIM TALKING TO MATTHEW FOX. Holy sh*t. Niceness. The other's you can probably easily guess the answers, though I did get a shipwreck when I typed in "Captain Morgan" Funny. Anyways, try and have some fun.

Credits:
1. The Plumeria Doric Allison, 2. Iranian mini-pizza, 3. phoHM1000pts1-c_0128rc, 4. Meeting the pregnant princess of the forest, 5. Patrick Dempsey and Matthew Fox, 6. Blue Lagoon Comino, Malta, 7. The sea of grass, 8. lattice, 9. Costanera-Otamendi_07_23, 10. First Flight, 11. Of Earth And Sea And The Oceans Free, 12. Lisa Kereszi, Circus Tent at Night

Que?

I've been avoiding posting because I don't have an answer to "que?" Nothing to post in the q's!
Oh well.

Instead I will give a quick update.

1. Survived another wedding. Phew. It was fun, Jamaal and I had a nice time kicking it around the DC area, though we avoided the city. We went to Mt. Vernon which was phenomenal. It really hit me this time around that I was walking in Washington's footsteps and that he and Martha totally used to chill on the porch we were all sitting on - crazy. It made Jamaal a little sad, understandably, as Mt. Vernon was a plantation completely dependent upon slave labor. I guess the one redeeming factor was that Washington freed his slaves in his will. Not that that makes up for it really, but you know, it was sort of a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually during one hilarious moment, one of the guides there kept talking to us, yelling something we couldn't understand. Finally I just nodded and said "hi how are you?" and as we walked away he shouted "EH! You from Ghana??" Jamaal gets this all the time. He's been asked if he's been from: Ghana, Nigeria, Haiti, Cuba, Jamaica, Guyana, all over the West Indies. It's kind of funny, but it's probably irritating too because he'll tell people "no, I'm American" and they'll say "oh but that can't be true, you got xyz blood in you." Um ok. Anyways, as Jam is laughing I shout "no he is from New York!!!" Well the guy seemed to think this was pretty funny and was laughing. I told him that when I brought Jamaal's picture to Kenya the Africans wanted to know to what tribe he belonged and I told them the Brooklyn tribe. This also brought about additional laughter from the guide. Jamaal was laughing too, then I got the Brooklyn tribe thing and he did his characteristic "Oh my god, Allison, let's go." Funny.

2. I just looked at all 1865 of my friend's wedding proofs. They're fantastic, though in most of them I had this odd mark on my arm. I was about 12oo in when I realized that it was the watermark that said "proof" and not some tattoo I forgot about.

3. I helped my parents clean out my cousin's house a bit last night. It really depressed me. I hate it when people die in general, but my great auntie, for instance, was 95 - old. So it sucks but it's sort of like the natural progressions of things. With Catherine it's so backwards. I mean she still had laundry in the hamper, her calendar is on April 2008. It's just odd. I felt like a trespasser as I went through all her bureau drawers, separating clothes for the Goodwill and Interfaith, taking the occasional Sigrid Olsen/Talbots/Henri Bendel top with the tags on it that I liked. The woman had amazing taste in clothes, but it's hard to get excited about taking this stuff because it feels wrong. We're donating most of it, and it makes me happy to think of all the women she will help, especially at Interfaith, where they take clothing suitable for job interviews and career-wear in order to help women get back on their feet. Still though, I understand now why my dad comes home sad from her house sometimes.

4. On a brighter note, a duck on our island in NH has decided that the perfect nesting spot is a planter full of geraniums. This house is about a dozen our so down island from ours, but we nevertheless enjoy their webcams, and to my delight, they put up one of Daisy duck. I spend way too much time looking at it!

5. After reading DoctorMama's blog, I've been inspired to resume running. So inspired, that I stole an idea from her - running with an iPod shuffle. Why did I not think of this? I have spent so much on athletic-type cases/holders for my nano that I probably could have bought two shuffles by now. Because I'm such a spastic runner, I hate anything attached to me (except clothes!) and carrying things. Realizing the shuffle could clip to my t-shirt, I took myself down to the new Apple store on Boylston to buy me one....except....no one waited on me. After milling around and making lots of eye contact, nothing. WTF? So I'm not buying a new iPhone, so what? Does that make me less important than everyone else? I guess so, because there was some serious ass-kissing going on in the iPhone corner. ick. I was so turned off I left. I'll go to Derby Street where someone will hopefully give me the time of day. Bitches!

I think that's all my news. This weekend I get to stay close to home. Of course it's all booked up, but it's mostly local. I might even get my kayak out. Sigh of happiness.

The P's

Proofreading - last week I was reading the Metro's review of "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl." the reviewer ripped the movie apart. I haven't seen the movie myself, but I thought "Oh come on, it's a kid's movie, GET OVER IT, we're going for light family fun and entertainment, swear, sex, and violence free, cut the movie a break" (of course Amy and I saw Wall-E which I found to be fantastic, so I guess there are really great family movies out there). I decided the read the reviewer's synopsis before passing judgment and thought that a lot of the points were valid - but then critic wrote this "Kit's mother is forced to take on 'borders' in her house for money." Heh? I imagined Julia Ormond's character scurrying around the US/Canada border trying to pick up imaginary lines. I read fast, so I often gloss over typos (or even commit them right here on this blog) but this one took me a minute to even figure out that they meant "boarders," as in people. Dude, PROOFREAD your sh*t. Especially if it's a 150 word movie review. Meh.

Presents - I finished one of the gifts on the "to make" list!! I made my friend Alex a triathlon bag for her bday. It's a huge tote with individual baggies for her sneakers and bathing suit. The mini-bags are lined with ripstop nylon and will hopefully be at least somewhat waterproof. The beauty of it all is that all the bags can go in the washing machine! Woo! It was great to have a reason to whip out the sewing machine again, even though the first run was a little wonky, and one of the tote handles came out weird with bunch thread :P Luckily Alex is not the judgmental type (well none of my friends are, especially when it comes to crafts) and is not the kind of person who is like "oh thanks for the bag, what happened to that handle, btw?! it's messed up!!" For the birthday celebration we went to Jacques Cabaret and good lord, it was a fun time and a half. I have not cackled like that in many, many moons. Serious cackling. I did not bring my camera, but wish I had because there were some priceless moments, including one part where Destiny got the birthday girl on her knees and she looked up and had this "oh sh*t" moment with fear and unknowing in her eyes.....It was hilarious. Amy had a special love for Katia:But I think my preference was for Kris Knieval, because I love me some big ta-tas.I loved Mizery, but found her terrifying!!


Anywho, this place has been shortlisted for my bachelorette. I think that probably makes Jamaal feel very secure, LOL. I used to think I wanted a very tame bachelorette, but after going to Jacques, my mind has changed a bit, LOL.

Propositioned - now every once in a while some crazy will approach me on the train. Usually it's not the propositioning type of approachment. For example, last week it was a guy who gave me his life story, told me that 6 months ago he slipped and fell outside Brookline City Hall and could I please look at his wrists and assess whether or not the orthopedist who set it back in place did a good job. Um hi, soooo not a doctor. Yesterday a lecherous looking old man sidled up to me at Park Street. "Eeeeeehhhhhhhh" he said. Stupidly, I removed one of my ear buds and said "Pardon?" because the good part of me said "help this old man, maybe he is lost" Ohhhooho no. He said "EHHHHH! SENORA!!! You loook gooooooood" He then said a bunch of unintelligible things. Maybe he was unintelligible, or maybe I was just still reeling over the fact that he called me 'senora'!!! All I could think was "I am no longer a senorita?!" Le sigh.

Pool - we are lucky enough to have a swimming pool right in our backyard. Ooooh so fortunate. Ame and I didn't have one at the old house, so we remember well the days of no AC, no pool, and having to run through a sprinkler (except when my evil 'friend' would invite me to her above-ground pool after expressly saying 'do not invite your sister' needless to say, we weren't friends for very long....). The pool is still regarded as the luxury it is - on a day like yesterday where the dew point and the temperature match, it is glorious. I jumped in with my clothes on, as I had been gardening for a bit and had worked up a sweat. Then I had a beer poolside, while the sunset and our local colony of various birds (house wren, goldfinch, catbird, song sparrow, towhee, chipping sparrow, chickadee, titmouse, cardinal, hummingbird, etc) foraged before the day's end. I love that time of night in the summer because everything is so incredibly peaceful and quiet. Ahhhh. If only I could go home now.....

Well. Back to my dull job. *snooooze*

*Overwhelmed*

So now that the wedding is done and school is over, I should be chillaxin' right?
Argh! Of course not! I have found myself to be somewhat overwhelmed by life!
Why?
Well, earlier this year, I was able to defer invites, coffee breaks, happy hours, parties and any event that required staying late at work or even remote use of social skills for school. We all know that I was running the slight risk of not graduating and I couldn't let that happen, so every night except the rare few where I was attending something local, like bookclub, I was at home, buried in a pile of books.

Now I am FREE!!! Which is fantastic, but all the crap I put off while in school is fast catching up. We had that whole bill problem back in May, where I forgot to pay sh*t. Well I am paying now, LOL and have caught up, but I still find a mountain of credit card/bank related paperwork on my desk needing to be filed or shredded. Then there are my loans...I haven't even checked out consolidation plans, which needs to happen soon, while rates are down. Then there is the whole getting out of debt for good (no excuse for this one, my credit card debt is dwindling, yet I'm dragging my feet) and having a savings plan for house/wedding. Note house is first! I realize Jam and I may not be able to move into a house right when we get married, but if I blow all my savings on a wedding, as much fun as that one day might be, I will be sad. The end. LOL. So yeah, there's the money junk.

Of course when you think money junk, you think NEW JOB. I am so disheartened by the job market right now. My mother is all "you have a fine job now, don't be discouraged, you can hold out til something fantastic comes along." Yeah. Well. I'm trying to make it. But my job is kind of dull (I am blogging at work after all!) and I am going to have to start paying dearly for that master's degree. Do I really want to hang around here?? It's a great and rewarding place to work, just not my field (and because it's not my field, and my master's is in conservation, I cannot get the requisite master's degree raise. suckage!) I guess I need to be more uniform with my searches and set aside time each week for job searching. Also I need to be more organized with my current job DOING, it's really kind of here and there lately. Hmm.

Then there's the wedding junk. I am sooo disorganized, yet feel like I have enough time to plan ok. I don't think I can be one of those people with a wedding planner. As much as I'd love to hand off some of the tasks to a professional, I can't see myself letting go to that point (or paying one for that matter.) Luckily my sister is ready and willing to take on a lot of responsibility, but Jamaal and I are really the only ones who can set a date and pick a place, which is what we need BEFORE I can start handing off responsibility. With him wrapped up in work and school it's pretty hard to pin him down for anything, unfortunately, and when we are together we're always going to someones wedding, bday, baptism, random party, cookout, etc. I know he knows that we can't wait on all of this til he gets out of school (fall 2009) but I don't want to bug him either. Then again if we want to get married in CT we could meet in the middle for just a day. He's always got a ton of sh*t to do though. Ugh, so frustrating. Anyways, I need to start getting more organized. Maybe I will have to break down and keep a wedding binder! OH NO! I joke about having one now, but it is really just a three ring binder filled with ripped out pages from magazines, mostly of lingerie (hey, I started it in high school!!) soooo yeah, may just have to get organized. Plus with Jam in school it will be easier to make a "presentation" for him, LOL. Can't you just see my showing up at his office with a wedding power point? LOL. And after we're married when he's a fancy business consultant that I can't pin down for more than a couple hours at a time having the "do you like 'celery' or 'celadon' for the wall color dear?" power point....oh hilarious.

So there's that. Then there is just the general CRAP that has to get down. I have to get rid of so much stuff I've accumulated. I just have to. Plus our family is going to be inheriting even more stuff from Catherine. It's already started to trickle in. I feel like the best way to honor her is to make sure her belongings are used. It's one of those "it's the least we could do for her" situations. Our cousin and my father are dividing everything between the two families, and it's worked out nicely, no fighting or griping, thank goodness (because it's tacky to fight about dead people's sh*t. and I can say that without being nasty because we've totally BEEN there in that situation, fighting over possessions and it's tacky as hell!) I'm getting a corner cabinet that belonged to my father's grandmother. I'm not sure what else, though probably wouldn't turn much of anything down at this point what with getting hitched and all. The one drawback is storage though, and figuring out where to put stuff. This means we're going to have to do a purge of possessions. My goal is to get rid of 100 items. I think it might be easier than it sounds......

Finally, my last really overwhelming thing is crafts! I am so behind on gifts I owe...running about 4 months behind at this point. Now I would say f8ck it normally and let it go, BUT I have fabric for all but one of the gifts I owe people, so I have just piles of fabric waiting to be quilted, and it's to the point where I probably won't use it for another project, so I need to just make what I owe. Phew. With it being July and summer weekends booked solid to August 29th, I'm not sure when I'll catch up. Though this weekend is a 3-day weekend and I have a huge Joann's coupon...maybe this is the moment to make a serious dent in the project backup. My sister and I have tossed around the idea of opening a cross stitch shop on etsy, but obviously we can only do this if we have inventory, and the only way I'm going to help add to any inventory is to clear my backlog!! Agh!


Ok enough bitching :) All in all, the summer has been a lot of fun, even if it has been overwhelming. I think it's that way a bit because I'm trying to get back into the swing of busy life after playing the grad school card so often. I'm sure I'll handle it.

With that, I leave you with goals for the rest of the summer (fun...mostly) and pictures!

1. Go to NH for 5 days or more (something I haven't done since I was a kid)

2. Take my kayak out at least 5 times (0 down, 5 to go)



3. Play hooky from work to hang out with my sister and do something that requires pretty much no thought, effort or responsibility...(maybe go to the beach? the RI one? with sandwiches from CROSSROADS!!!?! How's that sound Ame??)

4. Catch up on crafty projects (I owe 7 at the moment)


5. Spend non-school, non-other people's events time with Jamaal. Not sure if this is doable yet.....hmmm.

6. Fly a Kite. For realz, I'm not even joking. http://www.capecodtoday.com/blogs/index.php/2008/04/26/psst-secret-beaches-revealed?blog=183

7. ORGANIZE MY LIFE IN ALL WAYS AFOREMENTIONED!
Hmm. Right.


8. Hang out with this little lady and her hot mama.

9. Have a family girl's day where we explore a needlework shop down the cape and maybe (maybe) g0 see Mama Mia.......is that hooky from work yet again??! Maybe I will just need to put in for another week's vacation lol.

10. FINISH the COSTA RICA DVD. It's almost been a year. Oh the shame.


END OF YEAR GOALS

1. Finish 100 books.
2. Go out to Northampton so Jam can meet Anne and Michael and I can show him my old haunts..
3. Give away/sell/donate 100 things
4. Have an all-girl's party


Notice there are themes here. Playing hooky twice, two hundreds references, two fives....but there are only 14 things to do, and most of them fun. I'm so on it :D

Neglected Blog/New Post of Randomness/New Hampshire

First, you must look at this. The cuteness is unmatched, seriously unmatched. In fact, check out the blog in general, it's full of beautiful photography, wonderful stories, and great crafty ideas, all written from Zambia and Malawi.

Second, I found this little piece of reference material. I am making some muffins, the recipe for which I found on SouleMama (another gem of a blog) and want to buy local, so that's that (if you live in Massachusetts that is).

Other blog wanderings: I've signed up for a postcard swap and can't wait. I already have it partially designed in my head and will definitely feature New Hampshire and a line from a Rilo Kiley song. Score!

Speaking of New Hampshire, my sister and I are heading there tomorrow afternoon, despite the weekend's dismal forecast. My grandparents have a cottage on Bear Island in Lake Winnipesaukee. Yesterday as I was donating platelets the pheresis tech was like "oh do you have a boat?" I almost cackled because I had just explained how we were on an island, but luckily stopped myself because there are several islands that have bridges connecting them to the mainland, like the swanky Governor's Island, which I believe has been the vacation spot of famous peeps, even Ms. Spears. Lucky for us we are NOT connected to the mainland by a bridge and are only accessible by boat. We do not, therefore, have roads or stores, or anything more than trails, trees, a public dock for the mail boat....oh ok, we do have a lot of stuff, all that, plus two camps and a church, but nothing big and illustrious and attractive that would attract the type of people who need their entourage when traveling. I am actually hoping that gas prices will keep the lake relatively quiet this summer, as people think twice about spending a day zipping back and forth on their Ski-Doos (for which I foster a special hatred). Anyways I am amassing a packing list in my head as we speak. The island is pretty casual, and when it's warm, it's a bathing suit and shorts all day, or cargoes and a fleece if chilly, so clothes are not the thing I'm thinking of here...I'm thinking of a craft packing list. I'll have to pack the two belated wedding gifts I'm dying to finish, as well as the gorgeous Sea Silk yarn I just bought to make my mother a birthday gift (I'm thinking of a shawl).

The colorway is Lily Pond. Scrumptious.

I also need to pack my clapotis, which continues to kill my soulllll as well as another wedding gift I'm working on. Of course I'm going to two weddings and I don't have handmade gifts in the works, which makes me antsy. One is July 12th though and I have no freaking clue how I'd finish something in time. Of course I am going to visit Ravelry as soon as I finish this post to check out speedy afghans. Because I am crazy like that. It'll also be the perfect opportunity to capture some sunrise/sunset pics for the postcard swap!

Finally, speaking of weddings....Jam and I were both in one this past weekend, along with 12 other bridesmaids and 12 other groomsmen. I know it sounds ridiculous...I mean for a long time the whole even was a great source of ridiculousness and stress for me, but when the day came it really did go quite splendidly and it has been thus far, the most fun I've had at a wedding. Now to planning my own (eeeeh.)

Masters/Marriages/Margaritaville

Sooo I totally graduated...I even surprised myself a little bit by scraping by with the mandatory B- in Plant Physiology! So now I have a Master's degree in biology with a concentration in conservation and the environment and remain at my completely unrelated job at the cancer hospital, with no intention of finding something new til the fall. Of course it took me a few weeks to get over the weird feelings of guilt I had about spending so much for a degree and not getting a new job. I told someone I was so happy because I had managed to save 11 vacation days during the 2 years I had been going to school and that I was looking forward to a relaxing summer. The person happened to be in HR here and snapped at me "well we have vacation buyback, you don't need to stay just for the vacation." Woah! I wanted to tell her that no amount of money would be worthy enough to buy back those days. Hell no. That time is sooo worth it. I envision lazy days, crafts, and kayaking. Now I am enjoying school-free life and am being somewhat lazy. Ok not lazy as I am running around like mad preparing for a dear friend's wedding (yup, the same wedding I bitched about a few months ago....I've finally moved into excited and looking forward to it mode, FINALLY) but the stress level is down sooo much since graduating. I think with my father retiring too the family is in this sort of happy place. We all made it through the rough month of May and we're enjoying June and the newly redone porch and my parent's wise investment in the Margaritaville Frozen Concotion Maker. Oh yes. Every household should have one. We have not yet moved past margaritas, though this machine has the capacity for all sorts of frozen drinks, both of the alcoholic and non-alcoholic persuasion. While living at home with the parentals may not always be the most ideal living situation (it's great, but it's no Sex and the City) being able to take advantage of frozen drink maker and my mother's penchant for Patron is so worth it. God. Patron. I might need to go home and have a margarita. I'm so happy I reconciled with tequila.

Anyways, this has been a rather pointless post full of laziness and liquor-talk. I guess since graduating not much has been happening, mostly bridesmaid duties: shower, bachelorette (and cooking and packing and driving for each of those), getting the dress altered, getting eyebrows waxed, planning manicures and pedicures and getting shoes fixed. I get to pick up the shoes today from the shoe and luggage repair people at South Station. They're super-nice and from Uganda. Yes, I find Africans wherever I go, it's like a magnet or something :) As soon as I hear "Ah-LEE-zon" I thought "ah yes, East Africa....not quite Kenya though." So I asked the two gentlemen where they were from and they practically shouted UGANDA! at me. They were excited to hear about studying in Kenya and sending Mumbua to school (yep. still doing it. gosh, it's been 2 1/2 years now I guess. CRAZY) It's always nice to connect with people, so I've been referring people in Boston to them whenever I get the chance.

Ok I've actually now bored myself with the dullnes of this post. I'm going to finish my QA, water my plants and bounce. It's the "freakin' weekend." WOOOOOOOOO!

The Moment

Wherein I realize that I might actually be badass:

Email to Jamaal, discussing a bachelor/ette party we're going to this weekend. The venue was changed from a site with a hot tub and pool hall to a site that occasionally has black bears:

I am all for a more rusticated experience, but no one better be a dumbass about containing the food. grrr. I have camped in lion country b*tches, I will lay the smack down.

F8ck. That just hit me. Do you think camping in lion/hyena/elephant country is more badass than camping in bear country???

I think it might be! I think I might be LEGIT badASS! OMG!

Kenya/Kicking the Habit/Knitting/Liberia/Life and Death/Loyalty/Lester

I'm back, and if you thought I was dropping the whole alphabet kick thing, oh you were soooo wrong, LOL.

I've had a lot of time to think about my letters, so I guess I'll have to be pretty brief on each. Here goes.....

Kenya. It's hard to believe it's been 5 years since I spent my semester in Kenya. My memories are still so vivid. I totally admit that sometimes I think of Kenya and all of my friends there and my heart sighs a little; I wonder if I'll ever return. This is not as bad as when I came home from my semester there though - then I truly believed I'd never go back...never EVER, and of course less than three years later I found myself standing in Jomo Kenyatta International face to face with Mboya Musau and his bright yellow parka, so I'm not exactly despondent when I think of Kenya now, more wistful. I think I'll get back there one of these days. I'm sure I'll be in Africa again at some point. The whole thing is so puzzling to me though, still. Why do I love it so much? I feel so drawn to Kenya and I have really no reason to be....I call it a primordial draw--a desire to return to our evolutionary "mother" since Kenya is the cradle of our evolution. That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of, in addition to the friends I made there of course. Hmm.

Kicking the habit. I decided to go off caffeine, soda in particular. I've been reading these really nasty things about aspartame lately and thought "Allison, you really ought to stop it with the soda." I mean it's bad for your bones, bad for your skin and makes it difficult to lose weight. Not that I am trying to lose weight per se, I am trying to be toned, but even that can be confounded by the consumption of large amounts of soda. I decided to go off it, see how it felt...you know see what it was like to decide one day "I would LIKE a coke zero" or "I would LIKE a latte" Not "Ohmyeffinggod if I don't have caffeine right now I will DDDIIEEEE" It's been going well. I haven't completely gone off soda, I admit, but I try to keep it to no more than 1 a day a few days a week. I feel empowered!! The coffee on the other hand isn't evil like aspartame, but it was really messing with my stomach for a few weeks. Maybe I'll start making my morning cup again, but maybe not.

Knitting. Knitting has kept me calm these past few weeks. It's been rough, there's been some family drama and I've felt pretty helpless. Knitting gives me control!! I am participating in my second ISE and it's been great fun. This weekend I received my ISE package and it's really fantastic. I mean, TOTAL strangers are being all thoughtful and lovely and knitting for one another and sending each other goodies, it really is fantastic. It sort of restores my hope for humanity every time I'm like "ugh people are so frickin rude." Then you get this package in the mail full of great stuff that someone took the time to pick out and package for you and you realize that there are still kind people out in the world. Yay!

Liberia. Speaking of amazing people - I saw a documentary on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf about a month ago. It was on the Independent Lens on PBS and was called Iron Ladies of Liberia. Holy crap, it was amazing. If you're ever looking for inspiration, I highly recommend this film. In the first ten minutes or so I found myself transfixed by Sirleaf's story and got pretty emotional at one point when the narrator discussed women's rights. I was all "This is why I cast my vote in every election, no matter how trivial it may seem, I vote for all the women of the world who do not share the rights I enjoy as an American woman." Yeah, sometimes I get like that, very impassioned etc, and it's in these moments I come up with my most brilliant "save the world" ideas, LOL. Anyways, check the movie out. It's incredible. It pretty much sums up (to me at least) why we haven't had a woman who I've felt would be a good president. Sirleaf is the type of woman you need to be to be a head of state. Hil, bless her for running, doesn't have it. Heck, as much as I love him, I'm not even sure that B-rock has the guts this lady does. Bad-ASS.

Life and Death. So we had a death in the family this month. It really sucks, there's just no other way to say it. Death BLOWS, especially when it's untimely, as it was in this case. The extraordinary thing though, is what we learned about my cousin Catherine's life in the wake of her death. She was a gifted psychologist - this we knew. She had two PhD's and was a brainiac, and I enjoyed talking with her about "issues" more than anything. She really had a way of deconstructing people and putting you in their shoes, making you understand their line of thought a little better. I think she made me a more understanding person in many ways. Anyways, the outpouring of praise for her colleagues and patients at her wake was extraordinary. Because of HIPAA and privacy laws, Catherine talked little of her patients. She would mention a case here and there, but never associate names or ages or professions with any of her stories. We were so pleased to hear the wonderful things people said about her, that she helped them, that they only knew her for ten hours but they were the most important ten hours of their life, how she wasn't afraid to be judgmental and tell a patient they did something dumb (that was my favorite pt story). Her colleagues talked about how brilliant she was, and even though her health prevented her from working full time, they wanted her to be a part of the practice so badly, they accommodated her schedule. It's funny because even now, two weeks after her death, it doesn't seem real. I keep thinking that we'll call her up one of these days and say "you missed this fantastic party with all your friends and family and coworkers and patients." Sigh. May we all be so lucky to live to be 100. Or 101. That would do me just fine.

Loyalty. This is touchy and I don't want to go into detail but let's put it this way: say you've been loyal to a company for over 30 years. Say you've put your life on the line for them more than once, that you've sacrificed time with family and friends to do your job, spent sleepless nights working overtime or worrying about something at work, was put in the position to help out literally hundreds of people and HAD helped hundreds if not more people during the course of your career. Say you elevated your unit to a high level within the organization, and with this came immense recognition and huge amounts of special funding. Say you'd done all this and a shitton more and to thank you, your company punishes you then transfers you 120 miles from your home. You'd be pissed right? You'd probably retire, yes? Yeah, well that's what my father's doing. After recovering from the shock and anger and realizing that dad's health and family trump job crap and that retiring is best, I made a big note to self: never work for the Commonwealth. They will suck your soul dry and then kick you while you're down. B8tches!!

Lester. Let's end with a happy note, shall we? I would like to ANNOUNCE to anyone not from around here or anyone who does not follow the great American pastime, that my FAVORITE Red Sox player pitched the first major-league no-hitter of the season. That's right, good ol' Jon Lester, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor pitched a no-hitter against the Royals last night, and by all accounts it was positively glorious. JL became my favorite when it was announced he had NHL (the disease I cover here at the cancer hospital) I was hoping he would kick it's ass and return to play for the Sox to show the world that cancer is a little b*tch that deserves to be beat into the ground. He did just that and last night he proved he was more badass than ever. AWESOME JON LESTER!!!! WOOT!

Out of Commission

This blog(ger) is going on a brief hiatus. My cousin Catherine passed away early Tuesday morning. There is a lot to deal with both in terms of getting sh*t done and emotionally. I'll be back in a bit.
-Al