Wherein I discuss:
Ramirez, Ravelympics, Reading, Revolts, Rivers, Romance
Manny Ramirez: Last year I liked Manny enough to invest in a Ramirez Red Sox Tee. Then he shoved an old man, slapped Kevin Youkilis and didn't play on purpose. The verdict: Good riddance, I won't miss you, I'm just pissed I wasted $20 on the shirt. I should've bought a Jon Lester shirt.
Ravelympics: I tried to resist the Ravelympics. I tried to resist starting a new knitting project. But I couldn't heck no, I couldn't. The point is basically this: you cast on at the start of the Games (Beijing time) and cast off by the end, having completed an entire project during the games. Of course, forget the projects I'm working on, the wedding gift that is now 2 months overdue, the shawl for my mother and the conundrum I'm facing with the unmatching yarn. Forget it. Forget it and start this, a selfish project for myself, in this luxurious black mohair with beads. It's hawt. I hope I can finish because casting on was an absolute bitch and a half. I won't have the neat little ends shown in the picture, but I was not about to rip anything out. Noooo way.
Reading: I've been reading some pretty fantastic books lately. Of course there have been the duds. "1491" was fascinating, but read as disjointed and jumbled, with a lot of personal "storytime" from the author. Then there was the delving into incredibly rich detail about things such as spearheads but would then gloss over things like those Olmec heads saying something to the effect of "the curious thing about the Olmec heads was that the helmets the figures wore resembled those worn by Chinese soldiers." Um. Ok. Elaborate please? Regardless of its flaws, it made me want to learn more about several of the topics discussed in the book. Other badness? I hated, hated the end of "Friday Night Knitting Club." I am not above sad endings. Sometimes I even like a good cry. It was so tacked on though, like the author thought of the ending first or was desperate to finish the book and wanted a dramatic ending...it was the desperation of the ending that drove me crazy, shocking, tacked on, etc. Blah.
Enough negativity though. You know what I have loved? Delving into books about Africa. There have been some adventure ones, some save the animal ones, and some more serious ones, all AIDS and orphans and the struggles of international adoption and negotiating the legal system in post-colonial nations. What I love more than anything is that each of these books embraced some element of Africa, some gritty piece of glorious, beloved Africa. Peter Allison's book was by far the most entertaining and hilarious. His stories paint a vivid picture of safari life and are heartfelt and humorous. I laughed out loud when I read parts of this book. Neely Tucker's book made me cry (in a good way). His story of trying to adopt his daughter, a child found in the bush, tossed away like trash, is heartwarming. You feel his frustration as he tries to navigate through all the proper channels of the post-colonial Zimbabwean government and your heart breaks as he tells the stories of the orphanages visited by him and his wife. This is actually a great portrayal of how frustrating it can be to deal with certain authorities in Africa. Though my experience in Kenya is far limited, I have known the whole waiting in line for hours only to get turned away, told you were in the wrong line, or even questioned as though you were a completely suspicious person with something sinister in mind. I can't believe the patience and love and compassion maintained by the Tuckers throughout the whole experience. Similarly, Melissa Fay Greene discusses the difficult situation of orphans, AIDS orphans in particular, and the challenges facing those brave enough to become caretakers. Her biography of Haregewoin Teferra was enormously educational and I am grateful I read it, having almost tossed it aside as "too long, too depressing." Nicole Itano's book was similarly educational, though I loved how she profiled three specific people as a way to make Africa's stuggle with HIV/AIDS more personal. Finally, Mark and Delia Owens talk about their noble pursuit to save the elephants in Luangwa Valley in Zambia. I loved this one because they HAD to integrate people into the bigger wildlife management "picture." Check out their foundation - I fantisize about starting such an organization!
Revolts: Listen to this - I have a cousin, whom I have never met and don't care to, who lives in California and teaches at one of the UC's. We can't remember which one. Anyways, a cousin said to my father "I went out to visit Jack and he's got a TON of guns in his house. Like a ton." "Well," said my father "He was always into weaponry and hunting and such" (later my father told me about a fishing trip they took where Jack killed a bullfrog with a knife, thus scarring my father for life.) So my cousin says "yeah, but you know what he said when I asked them what they were all for? He said they were for 'the revolt'" "What revolt?" asks my dad. My cousin says "Well that's what I asked "what revolt?" and he said "for when the blacks revolt. I want to have adequate protection." Obviously I was horrified when my father relayed this story - even my cousin who is a bit of a redneck from Maine was appalled. My dad and I sort of sat there silently. Then he started laughing and said "You know what would really unscrew him? Sending him a wedding announcement. That would just drive him crazy. That'd be great." I think that'd be pretty funny....but I think I'll just pass on that one.....
Rivers: I've rediscovered the North River. It's practically in my back yard. I've been out on it twice and it's been faaaaantastic. It appeals to all of my bird nerd tendencies, plus it puts my kayak to good use. Of course this week's forecast is craaap. Ah well. I'm loving it. I have fantastic photos, but haven't uploaded them yet (lazy).
Romance: So I was watching a movie the other day. Or perhaps TV - ok I forget. There was this uber-romantic scene where the guy does something really nice for the girl and everything is all warm and fuzzy, blah blah blah (ok it sounds like I was watching Grey's Anatomy, lol). So I was wondering - when Jam and I live together, will he be a romantic person? I mean he totally does what he can from afar in Brooklyn, but as our lives have become a little more frantic from school and such it's sort of gone by the wayside. I mean it's not the end of the world or anything, I mean a person can't expect flowers every five seconds but.....I dunno....I guess I just wondered if there would be a revival once we lived together and got married. I hope so - in a very childish way, I totally acknowledge that it's ridiculous and somewhat juvenile - but let's just say, it would be nice.
Too bad Jam doesn't read this anymore. You know, so he could get my oh-so-subtle hint. Le sigh.
Ok that wraps up the R's. I'm good. Hope you're all good too.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
written to Jamaal just now...
....
Also at the cafeteria the guy in front of me had an order that came to 6.66. The cashier, who is this crazy Haitian lady who is always saying "Jeeeesus help me get through this day, I have to go organize the chips" stopped right away when she saw 666 and screamed "666 is the devil NUMBER! Baby, you need to buy a candy, purge the devil's number out of this machine (imagine all this with a very heavy Haitian accent)" The kid is like 'Aw, I don't believe in that stuff.' She goes "oh oh but it is real! Lucky for you I will pray for you tonight! Jesus help you! You should buy a candy though" He's all "I don't want a candy" So she says "Ok. But you're marked by the devil's number, I will have to pray for you tonight." Then she said to me "Your order better not come to 6.66" I said "oh I don't mess with the devil, I'd buy the candy." duh. cause it's candy!!
Also at the cafeteria the guy in front of me had an order that came to 6.66. The cashier, who is this crazy Haitian lady who is always saying "Jeeeesus help me get through this day, I have to go organize the chips" stopped right away when she saw 666 and screamed "666 is the devil NUMBER! Baby, you need to buy a candy, purge the devil's number out of this machine (imagine all this with a very heavy Haitian accent)" The kid is like 'Aw, I don't believe in that stuff.' She goes "oh oh but it is real! Lucky for you I will pray for you tonight! Jesus help you! You should buy a candy though" He's all "I don't want a candy" So she says "Ok. But you're marked by the devil's number, I will have to pray for you tonight." Then she said to me "Your order better not come to 6.66" I said "oh I don't mess with the devil, I'd buy the candy." duh. cause it's candy!!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So bored at work.....
....I started reading Tremble archives.....and found the one that describes me these past few weeks (sans movie deal, ha):
WE FIRST MET ON 09.18.2002"
I think I might have to read his whole blog now. See how else this guy got in my head....or at the very least, look for other posts that discuss how to combat work boredom. So far the peeing thing is useful, but then I just want to stay on the can and take a nap....I've watched all of abc's online episodes, even "Wipeout" (sad, just sad)....music, ha ha ha we're so past music, and eating just makes me sleepier. There's got to be another way. I could post my letter R post, but I'm waiting on pics. I guess I'll just keep drinking water for now...mmmeeeehhhhhh
"RICHARD SCARRY'S 'BIG BOOK OF ENNUI'.
Here's a new entry for your 2003 edition. Today, I was so existentially bored, that I drank a ton of water and made myself urinate just so I could make the trip to the bathroom and feel like I did something today. And then, to make it worse if only by legitimizing it, I wrote about it in my secret public diary. And that's not all: Paramount Studios just optioned the story for $5 million.
I think I might have to read his whole blog now. See how else this guy got in my head....or at the very least, look for other posts that discuss how to combat work boredom. So far the peeing thing is useful, but then I just want to stay on the can and take a nap....I've watched all of abc's online episodes, even "Wipeout" (sad, just sad)....music, ha ha ha we're so past music, and eating just makes me sleepier. There's got to be another way. I could post my letter R post, but I'm waiting on pics. I guess I'll just keep drinking water for now...mmmeeeehhhhhh
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A Meme To Suck Up Some Time
Glorious Meme!!
Here's what I got
From this:
Using fd’s Flickr Toys,
Credits:
1. The Plumeria Doric Allison, 2. Iranian mini-pizza, 3. phoHM1000pts1-c_0128rc, 4. Meeting the pregnant princess of the forest, 5. Patrick Dempsey and Matthew Fox, 6. Blue Lagoon Comino, Malta, 7. The sea of grass, 8. lattice, 9. Costanera-Otamendi_07_23, 10. First Flight, 11. Of Earth And Sea And The Oceans Free, 12. Lisa Kereszi, Circus Tent at Night
Here's what I got
From this:
Using fd’s Flickr Toys,
- Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
- Using only the first page, pick an image.
- Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.
- What is your first name?
- What is your favorite food?
- What high school did you go to?
- What is your favorite color?
- Who is your celebrity crush?
- Favorite drink?
- Dream vacation?
- Favorite dessert?
- What you want to be when you grow up?
- What do you love most in life?
- One Word to describe you.
- Your flickr name.
Credits:
1. The Plumeria Doric Allison, 2. Iranian mini-pizza, 3. phoHM1000pts1-c_0128rc, 4. Meeting the pregnant princess of the forest, 5. Patrick Dempsey and Matthew Fox, 6. Blue Lagoon Comino, Malta, 7. The sea of grass, 8. lattice, 9. Costanera-Otamendi_07_23, 10. First Flight, 11. Of Earth And Sea And The Oceans Free, 12. Lisa Kereszi, Circus Tent at Night
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Que?
I've been avoiding posting because I don't have an answer to "que?" Nothing to post in the q's!
Oh well.
Instead I will give a quick update.
1. Survived another wedding. Phew. It was fun, Jamaal and I had a nice time kicking it around the DC area, though we avoided the city. We went to Mt. Vernon which was phenomenal. It really hit me this time around that I was walking in Washington's footsteps and that he and Martha totally used to chill on the porch we were all sitting on - crazy. It made Jamaal a little sad, understandably, as Mt. Vernon was a plantation completely dependent upon slave labor. I guess the one redeeming factor was that Washington freed his slaves in his will. Not that that makes up for it really, but you know, it was sort of a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually during one hilarious moment, one of the guides there kept talking to us, yelling something we couldn't understand. Finally I just nodded and said "hi how are you?" and as we walked away he shouted "EH! You from Ghana??" Jamaal gets this all the time. He's been asked if he's been from: Ghana, Nigeria, Haiti, Cuba, Jamaica, Guyana, all over the West Indies. It's kind of funny, but it's probably irritating too because he'll tell people "no, I'm American" and they'll say "oh but that can't be true, you got xyz blood in you." Um ok. Anyways, as Jam is laughing I shout "no he is from New York!!!" Well the guy seemed to think this was pretty funny and was laughing. I told him that when I brought Jamaal's picture to Kenya the Africans wanted to know to what tribe he belonged and I told them the Brooklyn tribe. This also brought about additional laughter from the guide. Jamaal was laughing too, then I got the Brooklyn tribe thing and he did his characteristic "Oh my god, Allison, let's go." Funny.
2. I just looked at all 1865 of my friend's wedding proofs. They're fantastic, though in most of them I had this odd mark on my arm. I was about 12oo in when I realized that it was the watermark that said "proof" and not some tattoo I forgot about.
3. I helped my parents clean out my cousin's house a bit last night. It really depressed me. I hate it when people die in general, but my great auntie, for instance, was 95 - old. So it sucks but it's sort of like the natural progressions of things. With Catherine it's so backwards. I mean she still had laundry in the hamper, her calendar is on April 2008. It's just odd. I felt like a trespasser as I went through all her bureau drawers, separating clothes for the Goodwill and Interfaith, taking the occasional Sigrid Olsen/Talbots/Henri Bendel top with the tags on it that I liked. The woman had amazing taste in clothes, but it's hard to get excited about taking this stuff because it feels wrong. We're donating most of it, and it makes me happy to think of all the women she will help, especially at Interfaith, where they take clothing suitable for job interviews and career-wear in order to help women get back on their feet. Still though, I understand now why my dad comes home sad from her house sometimes.
4. On a brighter note, a duck on our island in NH has decided that the perfect nesting spot is a planter full of geraniums. This house is about a dozen our so down island from ours, but we nevertheless enjoy their webcams, and to my delight, they put up one of Daisy duck. I spend way too much time looking at it!
5. After reading DoctorMama's blog, I've been inspired to resume running. So inspired, that I stole an idea from her - running with an iPod shuffle. Why did I not think of this? I have spent so much on athletic-type cases/holders for my nano that I probably could have bought two shuffles by now. Because I'm such a spastic runner, I hate anything attached to me (except clothes!) and carrying things. Realizing the shuffle could clip to my t-shirt, I took myself down to the new Apple store on Boylston to buy me one....except....no one waited on me. After milling around and making lots of eye contact, nothing. WTF? So I'm not buying a new iPhone, so what? Does that make me less important than everyone else? I guess so, because there was some serious ass-kissing going on in the iPhone corner. ick. I was so turned off I left. I'll go to Derby Street where someone will hopefully give me the time of day. Bitches!
I think that's all my news. This weekend I get to stay close to home. Of course it's all booked up, but it's mostly local. I might even get my kayak out. Sigh of happiness.
Oh well.
Instead I will give a quick update.
1. Survived another wedding. Phew. It was fun, Jamaal and I had a nice time kicking it around the DC area, though we avoided the city. We went to Mt. Vernon which was phenomenal. It really hit me this time around that I was walking in Washington's footsteps and that he and Martha totally used to chill on the porch we were all sitting on - crazy. It made Jamaal a little sad, understandably, as Mt. Vernon was a plantation completely dependent upon slave labor. I guess the one redeeming factor was that Washington freed his slaves in his will. Not that that makes up for it really, but you know, it was sort of a light at the end of the tunnel. Actually during one hilarious moment, one of the guides there kept talking to us, yelling something we couldn't understand. Finally I just nodded and said "hi how are you?" and as we walked away he shouted "EH! You from Ghana??" Jamaal gets this all the time. He's been asked if he's been from: Ghana, Nigeria, Haiti, Cuba, Jamaica, Guyana, all over the West Indies. It's kind of funny, but it's probably irritating too because he'll tell people "no, I'm American" and they'll say "oh but that can't be true, you got xyz blood in you." Um ok. Anyways, as Jam is laughing I shout "no he is from New York!!!" Well the guy seemed to think this was pretty funny and was laughing. I told him that when I brought Jamaal's picture to Kenya the Africans wanted to know to what tribe he belonged and I told them the Brooklyn tribe. This also brought about additional laughter from the guide. Jamaal was laughing too, then I got the Brooklyn tribe thing and he did his characteristic "Oh my god, Allison, let's go." Funny.
2. I just looked at all 1865 of my friend's wedding proofs. They're fantastic, though in most of them I had this odd mark on my arm. I was about 12oo in when I realized that it was the watermark that said "proof" and not some tattoo I forgot about.
3. I helped my parents clean out my cousin's house a bit last night. It really depressed me. I hate it when people die in general, but my great auntie, for instance, was 95 - old. So it sucks but it's sort of like the natural progressions of things. With Catherine it's so backwards. I mean she still had laundry in the hamper, her calendar is on April 2008. It's just odd. I felt like a trespasser as I went through all her bureau drawers, separating clothes for the Goodwill and Interfaith, taking the occasional Sigrid Olsen/Talbots/Henri Bendel top with the tags on it that I liked. The woman had amazing taste in clothes, but it's hard to get excited about taking this stuff because it feels wrong. We're donating most of it, and it makes me happy to think of all the women she will help, especially at Interfaith, where they take clothing suitable for job interviews and career-wear in order to help women get back on their feet. Still though, I understand now why my dad comes home sad from her house sometimes.
4. On a brighter note, a duck on our island in NH has decided that the perfect nesting spot is a planter full of geraniums. This house is about a dozen our so down island from ours, but we nevertheless enjoy their webcams, and to my delight, they put up one of Daisy duck. I spend way too much time looking at it!
5. After reading DoctorMama's blog, I've been inspired to resume running. So inspired, that I stole an idea from her - running with an iPod shuffle. Why did I not think of this? I have spent so much on athletic-type cases/holders for my nano that I probably could have bought two shuffles by now. Because I'm such a spastic runner, I hate anything attached to me (except clothes!) and carrying things. Realizing the shuffle could clip to my t-shirt, I took myself down to the new Apple store on Boylston to buy me one....except....no one waited on me. After milling around and making lots of eye contact, nothing. WTF? So I'm not buying a new iPhone, so what? Does that make me less important than everyone else? I guess so, because there was some serious ass-kissing going on in the iPhone corner. ick. I was so turned off I left. I'll go to Derby Street where someone will hopefully give me the time of day. Bitches!
I think that's all my news. This weekend I get to stay close to home. Of course it's all booked up, but it's mostly local. I might even get my kayak out. Sigh of happiness.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The P's
Proofreading - last week I was reading the Metro's review of "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl." the reviewer ripped the movie apart. I haven't seen the movie myself, but I thought "Oh come on, it's a kid's movie, GET OVER IT, we're going for light family fun and entertainment, swear, sex, and violence free, cut the movie a break" (of course Amy and I saw Wall-E which I found to be fantastic, so I guess there are really great family movies out there). I decided the read the reviewer's synopsis before passing judgment and thought that a lot of the points were valid - but then critic wrote this "Kit's mother is forced to take on 'borders' in her house for money." Heh? I imagined Julia Ormond's character scurrying around the US/Canada border trying to pick up imaginary lines. I read fast, so I often gloss over typos (or even commit them right here on this blog) but this one took me a minute to even figure out that they meant "boarders," as in people. Dude, PROOFREAD your sh*t. Especially if it's a 150 word movie review. Meh.
Presents - I finished one of the gifts on the "to make" list!! I made my friend Alex a triathlon bag for her bday. It's a huge tote with individual baggies for her sneakers and bathing suit. The mini-bags are lined with ripstop nylon and will hopefully be at least somewhat waterproof. The beauty of it all is that all the bags can go in the washing machine! Woo! It was great to have a reason to whip out the sewing machine again, even though the first run was a little wonky, and one of the tote handles came out weird with bunch thread :P Luckily Alex is not the judgmental type (well none of my friends are, especially when it comes to crafts) and is not the kind of person who is like "oh thanks for the bag, what happened to that handle, btw?! it's messed up!!" For the birthday celebration we went to Jacques Cabaret and good lord, it was a fun time and a half. I have not cackled like that in many, many moons. Serious cackling. I did not bring my camera, but wish I had because there were some priceless moments, including one part where Destiny got the birthday girl on her knees and she looked up and had this "oh sh*t" moment with fear and unknowing in her eyes.....It was hilarious. Amy had a special love for Katia:
But I think my preference was for Kris Knieval, because I love me some big ta-tas.
I loved Mizery, but found her terrifying!!
Anywho, this place has been shortlisted for my bachelorette. I think that probably makes Jamaal feel very secure, LOL. I used to think I wanted a very tame bachelorette, but after going to Jacques, my mind has changed a bit, LOL.
Propositioned - now every once in a while some crazy will approach me on the train. Usually it's not the propositioning type of approachment. For example, last week it was a guy who gave me his life story, told me that 6 months ago he slipped and fell outside Brookline City Hall and could I please look at his wrists and assess whether or not the orthopedist who set it back in place did a good job. Um hi, soooo not a doctor. Yesterday a lecherous looking old man sidled up to me at Park Street. "Eeeeeehhhhhhhh" he said. Stupidly, I removed one of my ear buds and said "Pardon?" because the good part of me said "help this old man, maybe he is lost" Ohhhooho no. He said "EHHHHH! SENORA!!! You loook gooooooood" He then said a bunch of unintelligible things. Maybe he was unintelligible, or maybe I was just still reeling over the fact that he called me 'senora'!!! All I could think was "I am no longer a senorita?!" Le sigh.
Pool - we are lucky enough to have a swimming pool right in our backyard. Ooooh so fortunate. Ame and I didn't have one at the old house, so we remember well the days of no AC, no pool, and having to run through a sprinkler (except when my evil 'friend' would invite me to her above-ground pool after expressly saying 'do not invite your sister' needless to say, we weren't friends for very long....). The pool is still regarded as the luxury it is - on a day like yesterday where the dew point and the temperature match, it is glorious. I jumped in with my clothes on, as I had been gardening for a bit and had worked up a sweat. Then I had a beer poolside, while the sunset and our local colony of various birds (house wren, goldfinch, catbird, song sparrow, towhee, chipping sparrow, chickadee, titmouse, cardinal, hummingbird, etc) foraged before the day's end. I love that time of night in the summer because everything is so incredibly peaceful and quiet. Ahhhh. If only I could go home now.....
Well. Back to my dull job. *snooooze*
Presents - I finished one of the gifts on the "to make" list!! I made my friend Alex a triathlon bag for her bday. It's a huge tote with individual baggies for her sneakers and bathing suit. The mini-bags are lined with ripstop nylon and will hopefully be at least somewhat waterproof. The beauty of it all is that all the bags can go in the washing machine! Woo! It was great to have a reason to whip out the sewing machine again, even though the first run was a little wonky, and one of the tote handles came out weird with bunch thread :P Luckily Alex is not the judgmental type (well none of my friends are, especially when it comes to crafts) and is not the kind of person who is like "oh thanks for the bag, what happened to that handle, btw?! it's messed up!!" For the birthday celebration we went to Jacques Cabaret and good lord, it was a fun time and a half. I have not cackled like that in many, many moons. Serious cackling. I did not bring my camera, but wish I had because there were some priceless moments, including one part where Destiny got the birthday girl on her knees and she looked up and had this "oh sh*t" moment with fear and unknowing in her eyes.....It was hilarious. Amy had a special love for Katia:
But I think my preference was for Kris Knieval, because I love me some big ta-tas.
I loved Mizery, but found her terrifying!!
Anywho, this place has been shortlisted for my bachelorette. I think that probably makes Jamaal feel very secure, LOL. I used to think I wanted a very tame bachelorette, but after going to Jacques, my mind has changed a bit, LOL.
Propositioned - now every once in a while some crazy will approach me on the train. Usually it's not the propositioning type of approachment. For example, last week it was a guy who gave me his life story, told me that 6 months ago he slipped and fell outside Brookline City Hall and could I please look at his wrists and assess whether or not the orthopedist who set it back in place did a good job. Um hi, soooo not a doctor. Yesterday a lecherous looking old man sidled up to me at Park Street. "Eeeeeehhhhhhhh" he said. Stupidly, I removed one of my ear buds and said "Pardon?" because the good part of me said "help this old man, maybe he is lost" Ohhhooho no. He said "EHHHHH! SENORA!!! You loook gooooooood" He then said a bunch of unintelligible things. Maybe he was unintelligible, or maybe I was just still reeling over the fact that he called me 'senora'!!! All I could think was "I am no longer a senorita?!" Le sigh.
Pool - we are lucky enough to have a swimming pool right in our backyard. Ooooh so fortunate. Ame and I didn't have one at the old house, so we remember well the days of no AC, no pool, and having to run through a sprinkler (except when my evil 'friend' would invite me to her above-ground pool after expressly saying 'do not invite your sister' needless to say, we weren't friends for very long....). The pool is still regarded as the luxury it is - on a day like yesterday where the dew point and the temperature match, it is glorious. I jumped in with my clothes on, as I had been gardening for a bit and had worked up a sweat. Then I had a beer poolside, while the sunset and our local colony of various birds (house wren, goldfinch, catbird, song sparrow, towhee, chipping sparrow, chickadee, titmouse, cardinal, hummingbird, etc) foraged before the day's end. I love that time of night in the summer because everything is so incredibly peaceful and quiet. Ahhhh. If only I could go home now.....
Well. Back to my dull job. *snooooze*
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
*Overwhelmed*
So now that the wedding is done and school is over, I should be chillaxin' right?
Argh! Of course not! I have found myself to be somewhat overwhelmed by life!
Why?
Well, earlier this year, I was able to defer invites, coffee breaks, happy hours, parties and any event that required staying late at work or even remote use of social skills for school. We all know that I was running the slight risk of not graduating and I couldn't let that happen, so every night except the rare few where I was attending something local, like bookclub, I was at home, buried in a pile of books.
Now I am FREE!!! Which is fantastic, but all the crap I put off while in school is fast catching up. We had that whole bill problem back in May, where I forgot to pay sh*t. Well I am paying now, LOL and have caught up, but I still find a mountain of credit card/bank related paperwork on my desk needing to be filed or shredded. Then there are my loans...I haven't even checked out consolidation plans, which needs to happen soon, while rates are down. Then there is the whole getting out of debt for good (no excuse for this one, my credit card debt is dwindling, yet I'm dragging my feet) and having a savings plan for house/wedding. Note house is first! I realize Jam and I may not be able to move into a house right when we get married, but if I blow all my savings on a wedding, as much fun as that one day might be, I will be sad. The end. LOL. So yeah, there's the money junk.
Of course when you think money junk, you think NEW JOB. I am so disheartened by the job market right now. My mother is all "you have a fine job now, don't be discouraged, you can hold out til something fantastic comes along." Yeah. Well. I'm trying to make it. But my job is kind of dull (I am blogging at work after all!) and I am going to have to start paying dearly for that master's degree. Do I really want to hang around here?? It's a great and rewarding place to work, just not my field (and because it's not my field, and my master's is in conservation, I cannot get the requisite master's degree raise. suckage!) I guess I need to be more uniform with my searches and set aside time each week for job searching. Also I need to be more organized with my current job DOING, it's really kind of here and there lately. Hmm.
Then there's the wedding junk. I am sooo disorganized, yet feel like I have enough time to plan ok. I don't think I can be one of those people with a wedding planner. As much as I'd love to hand off some of the tasks to a professional, I can't see myself letting go to that point (or paying one for that matter.) Luckily my sister is ready and willing to take on a lot of responsibility, but Jamaal and I are really the only ones who can set a date and pick a place, which is what we need BEFORE I can start handing off responsibility. With him wrapped up in work and school it's pretty hard to pin him down for anything, unfortunately, and when we are together we're always going to someones wedding, bday, baptism, random party, cookout, etc. I know he knows that we can't wait on all of this til he gets out of school (fall 2009) but I don't want to bug him either. Then again if we want to get married in CT we could meet in the middle for just a day. He's always got a ton of sh*t to do though. Ugh, so frustrating. Anyways, I need to start getting more organized. Maybe I will have to break down and keep a wedding binder! OH NO! I joke about having one now, but it is really just a three ring binder filled with ripped out pages from magazines, mostly of lingerie (hey, I started it in high school!!) soooo yeah, may just have to get organized. Plus with Jam in school it will be easier to make a "presentation" for him, LOL. Can't you just see my showing up at his office with a wedding power point? LOL. And after we're married when he's a fancy business consultant that I can't pin down for more than a couple hours at a time having the "do you like 'celery' or 'celadon' for the wall color dear?" power point....oh hilarious.
So there's that. Then there is just the general CRAP that has to get down. I have to get rid of so much stuff I've accumulated. I just have to. Plus our family is going to be inheriting even more stuff from Catherine. It's already started to trickle in. I feel like the best way to honor her is to make sure her belongings are used. It's one of those "it's the least we could do for her" situations. Our cousin and my father are dividing everything between the two families, and it's worked out nicely, no fighting or griping, thank goodness (because it's tacky to fight about dead people's sh*t. and I can say that without being nasty because we've totally BEEN there in that situation, fighting over possessions and it's tacky as hell!) I'm getting a corner cabinet that belonged to my father's grandmother. I'm not sure what else, though probably wouldn't turn much of anything down at this point what with getting hitched and all. The one drawback is storage though, and figuring out where to put stuff. This means we're going to have to do a purge of possessions. My goal is to get rid of 100 items. I think it might be easier than it sounds......
Finally, my last really overwhelming thing is crafts! I am so behind on gifts I owe...running about 4 months behind at this point. Now I would say f8ck it normally and let it go, BUT I have fabric for all but one of the gifts I owe people, so I have just piles of fabric waiting to be quilted, and it's to the point where I probably won't use it for another project, so I need to just make what I owe. Phew. With it being July and summer weekends booked solid to August 29th, I'm not sure when I'll catch up. Though this weekend is a 3-day weekend and I have a huge Joann's coupon...maybe this is the moment to make a serious dent in the project backup. My sister and I have tossed around the idea of opening a cross stitch shop on etsy, but obviously we can only do this if we have inventory, and the only way I'm going to help add to any inventory is to clear my backlog!! Agh!
Ok enough bitching :) All in all, the summer has been a lot of fun, even if it has been overwhelming. I think it's that way a bit because I'm trying to get back into the swing of busy life after playing the grad school card so often. I'm sure I'll handle it.
With that, I leave you with goals for the rest of the summer (fun...mostly) and pictures!
1. Go to NH for 5 days or more (something I haven't done since I was a kid)
2. Take my kayak out at least 5 times (0 down, 5 to go)
3. Play hooky from work to hang out with my sister and do something that requires pretty much no thought, effort or responsibility...(maybe go to the beach? the RI one? with sandwiches from CROSSROADS!!!?! How's that sound Ame??)
4. Catch up on crafty projects (I owe 7 at the moment)
5. Spend non-school, non-other people's events time with Jamaal. Not sure if this is doable yet.....hmmm.
6. Fly a Kite. For realz, I'm not even joking. http://www.capecodtoday.com/blogs/index.php/2008/04/26/psst-secret-beaches-revealed?blog=183
7. ORGANIZE MY LIFE IN ALL WAYS AFOREMENTIONED!
Hmm. Right.
8. Hang out with this little lady and her hot mama.
9. Have a family girl's day where we explore a needlework shop down the cape and maybe (maybe) g0 see Mama Mia.......is that hooky from work yet again??! Maybe I will just need to put in for another week's vacation lol.
10. FINISH the COSTA RICA DVD. It's almost been a year. Oh the shame.
END OF YEAR GOALS
1. Finish 100 books.
2. Go out to Northampton so Jam can meet Anne and Michael and I can show him my old haunts..
3. Give away/sell/donate 100 things
4. Have an all-girl's party
Notice there are themes here. Playing hooky twice, two hundreds references, two fives....but there are only 14 things to do, and most of them fun. I'm so on it :D
Argh! Of course not! I have found myself to be somewhat overwhelmed by life!
Why?
Well, earlier this year, I was able to defer invites, coffee breaks, happy hours, parties and any event that required staying late at work or even remote use of social skills for school. We all know that I was running the slight risk of not graduating and I couldn't let that happen, so every night except the rare few where I was attending something local, like bookclub, I was at home, buried in a pile of books.
Now I am FREE!!! Which is fantastic, but all the crap I put off while in school is fast catching up. We had that whole bill problem back in May, where I forgot to pay sh*t. Well I am paying now, LOL and have caught up, but I still find a mountain of credit card/bank related paperwork on my desk needing to be filed or shredded. Then there are my loans...I haven't even checked out consolidation plans, which needs to happen soon, while rates are down. Then there is the whole getting out of debt for good (no excuse for this one, my credit card debt is dwindling, yet I'm dragging my feet) and having a savings plan for house/wedding. Note house is first! I realize Jam and I may not be able to move into a house right when we get married, but if I blow all my savings on a wedding, as much fun as that one day might be, I will be sad. The end. LOL. So yeah, there's the money junk.
Of course when you think money junk, you think NEW JOB. I am so disheartened by the job market right now. My mother is all "you have a fine job now, don't be discouraged, you can hold out til something fantastic comes along." Yeah. Well. I'm trying to make it. But my job is kind of dull (I am blogging at work after all!) and I am going to have to start paying dearly for that master's degree. Do I really want to hang around here?? It's a great and rewarding place to work, just not my field (and because it's not my field, and my master's is in conservation, I cannot get the requisite master's degree raise. suckage!) I guess I need to be more uniform with my searches and set aside time each week for job searching. Also I need to be more organized with my current job DOING, it's really kind of here and there lately. Hmm.
Then there's the wedding junk. I am sooo disorganized, yet feel like I have enough time to plan ok. I don't think I can be one of those people with a wedding planner. As much as I'd love to hand off some of the tasks to a professional, I can't see myself letting go to that point (or paying one for that matter.) Luckily my sister is ready and willing to take on a lot of responsibility, but Jamaal and I are really the only ones who can set a date and pick a place, which is what we need BEFORE I can start handing off responsibility. With him wrapped up in work and school it's pretty hard to pin him down for anything, unfortunately, and when we are together we're always going to someones wedding, bday, baptism, random party, cookout, etc. I know he knows that we can't wait on all of this til he gets out of school (fall 2009) but I don't want to bug him either. Then again if we want to get married in CT we could meet in the middle for just a day. He's always got a ton of sh*t to do though. Ugh, so frustrating. Anyways, I need to start getting more organized. Maybe I will have to break down and keep a wedding binder! OH NO! I joke about having one now, but it is really just a three ring binder filled with ripped out pages from magazines, mostly of lingerie (hey, I started it in high school!!) soooo yeah, may just have to get organized. Plus with Jam in school it will be easier to make a "presentation" for him, LOL. Can't you just see my showing up at his office with a wedding power point? LOL. And after we're married when he's a fancy business consultant that I can't pin down for more than a couple hours at a time having the "do you like 'celery' or 'celadon' for the wall color dear?" power point....oh hilarious.
So there's that. Then there is just the general CRAP that has to get down. I have to get rid of so much stuff I've accumulated. I just have to. Plus our family is going to be inheriting even more stuff from Catherine. It's already started to trickle in. I feel like the best way to honor her is to make sure her belongings are used. It's one of those "it's the least we could do for her" situations. Our cousin and my father are dividing everything between the two families, and it's worked out nicely, no fighting or griping, thank goodness (because it's tacky to fight about dead people's sh*t. and I can say that without being nasty because we've totally BEEN there in that situation, fighting over possessions and it's tacky as hell!) I'm getting a corner cabinet that belonged to my father's grandmother. I'm not sure what else, though probably wouldn't turn much of anything down at this point what with getting hitched and all. The one drawback is storage though, and figuring out where to put stuff. This means we're going to have to do a purge of possessions. My goal is to get rid of 100 items. I think it might be easier than it sounds......
Finally, my last really overwhelming thing is crafts! I am so behind on gifts I owe...running about 4 months behind at this point. Now I would say f8ck it normally and let it go, BUT I have fabric for all but one of the gifts I owe people, so I have just piles of fabric waiting to be quilted, and it's to the point where I probably won't use it for another project, so I need to just make what I owe. Phew. With it being July and summer weekends booked solid to August 29th, I'm not sure when I'll catch up. Though this weekend is a 3-day weekend and I have a huge Joann's coupon...maybe this is the moment to make a serious dent in the project backup. My sister and I have tossed around the idea of opening a cross stitch shop on etsy, but obviously we can only do this if we have inventory, and the only way I'm going to help add to any inventory is to clear my backlog!! Agh!
Ok enough bitching :) All in all, the summer has been a lot of fun, even if it has been overwhelming. I think it's that way a bit because I'm trying to get back into the swing of busy life after playing the grad school card so often. I'm sure I'll handle it.
With that, I leave you with goals for the rest of the summer (fun...mostly) and pictures!
1. Go to NH for 5 days or more (something I haven't done since I was a kid)
2. Take my kayak out at least 5 times (0 down, 5 to go)
3. Play hooky from work to hang out with my sister and do something that requires pretty much no thought, effort or responsibility...(maybe go to the beach? the RI one? with sandwiches from CROSSROADS!!!?! How's that sound Ame??)
4. Catch up on crafty projects (I owe 7 at the moment)5. Spend non-school, non-other people's events time with Jamaal. Not sure if this is doable yet.....hmmm.
6. Fly a Kite. For realz, I'm not even joking. http://www.capecodtoday.com/blogs/index.php/2008/04/26/psst-secret-beaches-revealed?blog=183
7. ORGANIZE MY LIFE IN ALL WAYS AFOREMENTIONED!Hmm. Right.
8. Hang out with this little lady and her hot mama.
9. Have a family girl's day where we explore a needlework shop down the cape and maybe (maybe) g0 see Mama Mia.......is that hooky from work yet again??! Maybe I will just need to put in for another week's vacation lol.
10. FINISH the COSTA RICA DVD. It's almost been a year. Oh the shame.
END OF YEAR GOALS
1. Finish 100 books.
2. Go out to Northampton so Jam can meet Anne and Michael and I can show him my old haunts..
3. Give away/sell/donate 100 things
4. Have an all-girl's party
Notice there are themes here. Playing hooky twice, two hundreds references, two fives....but there are only 14 things to do, and most of them fun. I'm so on it :D
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Neglected Blog/New Post of Randomness/New Hampshire
First, you must look at this. The cuteness is unmatched, seriously unmatched. In fact, check out the blog in general, it's full of beautiful photography, wonderful stories, and great crafty ideas, all written from Zambia and Malawi.
Second, I found this little piece of reference material. I am making some muffins, the recipe for which I found on SouleMama (another gem of a blog) and want to buy local, so that's that (if you live in Massachusetts that is).
Other blog wanderings: I've signed up for a postcard swap and can't wait. I already have it partially designed in my head and will definitely feature New Hampshire and a line from a Rilo Kiley song. Score!
Speaking of New Hampshire, my sister and I are heading there tomorrow afternoon, despite the weekend's dismal forecast. My grandparents have a cottage on Bear Island in Lake
Winnipesaukee. Yesterday as I was donating platelets the pheresis tech was like "oh do you have a boat?" I almost cackled because I had just explained how we were on an island, but luckily stopped myself because there are several islands that have bridges connecting them to the mainland, like the swanky Governor's Island, which I believe has been the vacation spot of famous peeps, even Ms. Spears. Lucky for us we are NOT connected to the mainland by a bridge and are only accessible by boat. We do not, therefore, have roads or stores, or anything more than trails, trees, a public dock for the mail boat....oh ok, we do have a lot of stuff, all that, plus two camps and a church, but nothing big and illustrious and attractive that would attract the type of people who need their entourage when traveling. I am actually hoping that gas prices will keep the lake relatively quiet this summer, as people think twice about spending a day zipping back and forth on their Ski-Doos (for which I foster a special hatred). Anyways I am amassing a packing list in my head as we speak. The island is pretty casual, and when it's warm, it's a bathing suit and shorts all day, or cargoes and a fleece if chilly, so clothes are not the thing I'm thinking of here...I'm thinking of a craft packing list. I'll have to pack the two belated wedding gifts I'm dying to finish, as well as the gorgeous Sea Silk yarn I just bought to make my mother a birthday gift (I'm thinking of a shawl). 
The colorway is Lily Pond. Scrumptious.
I also need to pack my clapotis, which continues to kill my soulllll as well as another wedding gift I'm working on. Of course I'm going to two weddings and I don't have handmade gifts in the works, which makes me antsy. One is July 12th though and I have no freaking clue how I'd finish something in time. Of course I am going to visit Ravelry as soon as I finish this post to check out speedy afghans. Because I am crazy like that. It'll also be the perfect opportunity to capture some sunrise/sunset pics for the postcard swap!
Finally, speaking of weddings....Jam and I were both in one this past weekend, along with 12 other bridesmaids and 12 other groomsmen. I know it sounds ridiculous...I mean for a long time the whole even was a great source of ridiculousness and stress for me, but when the day came it really did go quite splendidly and it has been thus far, the most fun I've had at a wedding. Now to planning my own (eeeeh.)
Second, I found this little piece of reference material. I am making some muffins, the recipe for which I found on SouleMama (another gem of a blog) and want to buy local, so that's that (if you live in Massachusetts that is).
Other blog wanderings: I've signed up for a postcard swap and can't wait. I already have it partially designed in my head and will definitely feature New Hampshire and a line from a Rilo Kiley song. Score!
Speaking of New Hampshire, my sister and I are heading there tomorrow afternoon, despite the weekend's dismal forecast. My grandparents have a cottage on Bear Island in Lake
Winnipesaukee. Yesterday as I was donating platelets the pheresis tech was like "oh do you have a boat?" I almost cackled because I had just explained how we were on an island, but luckily stopped myself because there are several islands that have bridges connecting them to the mainland, like the swanky Governor's Island, which I believe has been the vacation spot of famous peeps, even Ms. Spears. Lucky for us we are NOT connected to the mainland by a bridge and are only accessible by boat. We do not, therefore, have roads or stores, or anything more than trails, trees, a public dock for the mail boat....oh ok, we do have a lot of stuff, all that, plus two camps and a church, but nothing big and illustrious and attractive that would attract the type of people who need their entourage when traveling. I am actually hoping that gas prices will keep the lake relatively quiet this summer, as people think twice about spending a day zipping back and forth on their Ski-Doos (for which I foster a special hatred). Anyways I am amassing a packing list in my head as we speak. The island is pretty casual, and when it's warm, it's a bathing suit and shorts all day, or cargoes and a fleece if chilly, so clothes are not the thing I'm thinking of here...I'm thinking of a craft packing list. I'll have to pack the two belated wedding gifts I'm dying to finish, as well as the gorgeous Sea Silk yarn I just bought to make my mother a birthday gift (I'm thinking of a shawl).  + '-62.jpg', 640, 480))
The colorway is Lily Pond. Scrumptious.
I also need to pack my clapotis, which continues to kill my soulllll as well as another wedding gift I'm working on. Of course I'm going to two weddings and I don't have handmade gifts in the works, which makes me antsy. One is July 12th though and I have no freaking clue how I'd finish something in time. Of course I am going to visit Ravelry as soon as I finish this post to check out speedy afghans. Because I am crazy like that. It'll also be the perfect opportunity to capture some sunrise/sunset pics for the postcard swap!
Finally, speaking of weddings....Jam and I were both in one this past weekend, along with 12 other bridesmaids and 12 other groomsmen. I know it sounds ridiculous...I mean for a long time the whole even was a great source of ridiculousness and stress for me, but when the day came it really did go quite splendidly and it has been thus far, the most fun I've had at a wedding. Now to planning my own (eeeeh.)
Friday, June 13, 2008
Masters/Marriages/Margaritaville
Sooo I totally graduated...I even surprised myself a little bit by scraping by with the mandatory B- in Plant Physiology! So now I have a Master's degree in biology with a concentration in conservation and the environment and remain at my completely unrelated job at the cancer hospital, with no intention of finding something new til the fall. Of course it took me a few weeks to get over the weird feelings of guilt I had about spending so much for a degree and not getting a new job. I told someone I was so happy because I had managed to save 11 vacation days during the 2 years I had been going to school and that I was looking forward to a relaxing summer. The person happened to be in HR here and snapped at me "well we have vacation buyback, you don't need to stay just for the vacation." Woah! I wanted to tell her that no amount of money would be worthy enough to buy back those days. Hell no. That time is sooo worth it. I envision lazy days, crafts, and kayaking. Now I am enjoying school-free life and am being somewhat lazy. Ok not lazy as I am running around like mad preparing for a dear friend's wedding (yup, the same wedding I bitched about a few months ago....I've finally moved into excited and looking forward to it mode, FINALLY) but the stress level is down sooo much since graduating. I think with my father retiring too the family is in this sort of happy place. We all made it through the rough month of May and we're enjoying June and the newly redone porch and my parent's wise investment in the Margari
taville Frozen Concotion Maker. Oh yes. Every household should have one. We have not yet moved past margaritas, though this machine has the capacity for all sorts of frozen drinks, both of the alcoholic and non-alcoholic persuasion. While living at home with the parentals may not always be the most ideal living situation (it's great, but it's no Sex and the City) being able to take advantage of frozen drink maker and my mother's penchant for Patron is so worth it. God. Patron. I might need to go home and have a margarita. I'm so happy I reconciled with tequila.Anyways, this has been a rather pointless post full of laziness and liquor-talk. I guess since graduating not much has been happening, mostly bridesmaid duties: shower, bachelorette (and cooking and packing and driving for each of those), getting the dress altered, getting eyebrows waxed, planning manicures and pedicures and getting shoes fixed. I get to pick up the shoes today from the shoe and luggage repair people at South Station. They're super-nice and from Uganda. Yes, I find Africans wherever I go, it's like a magnet or something :) As soon as I hear "Ah-LEE-zon" I thought "ah yes, East Africa....not quite Kenya though." So I asked the two gentlemen where they were from and they practically shouted UGANDA! at me. They were excited to hear about studying in Kenya and sending Mumbua to school (yep. still doing it. gosh, it's been 2 1/2 years now I guess. CRAZY) It's always nice to connect with people, so I've been referring people in Boston to them whenever I get the chance.
Ok I've actually now bored myself with the dullnes of this post. I'm going to finish my QA, water my plants and bounce. It's the "freakin' weekend." WOOOOOOOOO!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The Moment
Wherein I realize that I might actually be badass:
Email to Jamaal, discussing a bachelor/ette party we're going to this weekend. The venue was changed from a site with a hot tub and pool hall to a site that occasionally has black bears:
I am all for a more rusticated experience, but no one better be a dumbass about containing the food. grrr. I have camped in lion country b*tches, I will lay the smack down.
F8ck. That just hit me. Do you think camping in lion/hyena/elephant country is more badass than camping in bear country???
I think it might be! I think I might be LEGIT badASS! OMG!
Email to Jamaal, discussing a bachelor/ette party we're going to this weekend. The venue was changed from a site with a hot tub and pool hall to a site that occasionally has black bears:
I am all for a more rusticated experience, but no one better be a dumbass about containing the food. grrr. I have camped in lion country b*tches, I will lay the smack down.
F8ck. That just hit me. Do you think camping in lion/hyena/elephant country is more badass than camping in bear country???
I think it might be! I think I might be LEGIT badASS! OMG!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Kenya/Kicking the Habit/Knitting/Liberia/Life and Death/Loyalty/Lester
I'm back, and if you thought I was dropping the whole alphabet kick thing, oh you were soooo wrong, LOL.
I've had a lot of time to think about my letters, so I guess I'll have to be pretty brief on each. Here goes.....
Kenya. It's hard to believe it's been 5 years since I spent my semester in Kenya. My memories are still so vivid. I totally admit that sometimes I think of Kenya and all of my friends there and my heart sighs a little; I wonder if I'll ever return. This is not as bad as when I came home from my semester there though - then I truly believed I'd never go back...never EVER, and of course less than three years later I found myself standing in Jomo Kenyatta International face to face with Mboya Musau and his bright yellow parka, so I'm not exactly despondent when I think of Kenya now, more wistful. I think I'll get back there one of these days. I'm sure I'll be in Africa again at some point. The whole thing is so puzzling to me though, still. Why do I love it so much? I feel so drawn to Kenya and I have really no reason to be....I call it a primordial draw--a desire to return to our evolutionary "mother" since Kenya is the cradle of our evolution. That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of, in addition to the friends I made there of course. Hmm.
Kicking the habit. I decided to go off caffeine, soda in particular. I've been reading these really nasty things about aspartame lately and thought "Allison, you really ought to stop it with the soda." I mean it's bad for your bones, bad for your skin and makes it difficult to lose weight. Not that I am trying to lose weight per se, I am trying to be toned, but even that can be confounded by the consumption of large amounts of soda. I decided to go off it, see how it felt...you know see what it was like to decide one day "I would LIKE a coke zero" or "I would LIKE a latte" Not "Ohmyeffinggod if I don't have caffeine right now I will DDDIIEEEE" It's been going well. I haven't completely gone off soda, I admit, but I try to keep it to no more than 1 a day a few days a week. I feel empowered!! The coffee on the other hand isn't evil like aspartame, but it was really messing with my stomach for a few weeks. Maybe I'll start making my morning cup again, but maybe not.
Knitting. Knitting has kept me calm these past few weeks. It's been rough, there's been some family drama and I've felt pretty helpless. Knitting gives me control!! I am participating in my second ISE and it's been great fun. This weekend I received my ISE package and it's really fantastic. I mean, TOTAL strangers are being all thoughtful and lovely and knitting for one another and sending each other goodies, it really is fantastic. It sort of restores my hope for humanity every time I'm like "ugh people are so frickin rude." Then you get this package in the mail full of great stuff that someone took the time to pick out and package for you and you realize that there are still kind people out in the world. Yay!
Liberia. Speaking of amazing people - I saw a documentary on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf about a month ago. It was on the Independent Lens on PBS and was called Iron Ladies of Liberia. Holy crap, it was amazing. If you're ever looking for inspiration, I highly recommend this film. In the first ten minutes or so I found myself transfixed by Sirleaf's story and got pretty emotional at one point when the narrator discussed women's rights. I was all "This is why I cast my vote in every election, no matter how trivial it may seem, I vote for all the women of the world who do not share the rights I enjoy as an American woman." Yeah, sometimes I get like that, very impassioned etc, and it's in these moments I come up with my most brilliant "save the world" ideas, LOL. Anyways, check the movie out. It's incredible. It pretty much sums up (to me at least) why we haven't had a woman who I've felt would be a good president. Sirleaf is the type of woman you need to be to be a head of state. Hil, bless her for running, doesn't have it. Heck, as much as I love him, I'm not even sure that B-rock has the guts this lady does. Bad-ASS.
Life and Death. So we had a death in the family this month. It really sucks, there's just no other way to say it. Death BLOWS, especially when it's untimely, as it was in this case. The extraordinary thing though, is what we learned about my cousin Catherine's life in the wake of her death. She was a gifted psychologist - this we knew. She had two PhD's and was a brainiac, and I enjoyed talking with her about "issues" more than anything. She really had a way of deconstructing people and putting you in their shoes, making you understand their line of thought a little better. I think she made me a more understanding person in many ways. Anyways, the outpouring of praise for her colleagues and patients at her wake was extraordinary. Because of HIPAA and privacy laws, Catherine talked little of her patients. She would mention a case here and there, but never associate names or ages or professions with any of her stories. We were so pleased to hear the wonderful things people said about her, that she helped them, that they only knew her for ten hours but they were the most important ten hours of their life, how she wasn't afraid to be judgmental and tell a patient they did something dumb (that was my favorite pt story). Her colleagues talked about how brilliant she was, and even though her health prevented her from working full time, they wanted her to be a part of the practice so badly, they accommodated her schedule. It's funny because even now, two weeks after her death, it doesn't seem real. I keep thinking that we'll call her up one of these days and say "you missed this fantastic party with all your friends and family and coworkers and patients." Sigh. May we all be so lucky to live to be 100. Or 101. That would do me just fine.
Loyalty. This is touchy and I don't want to go into detail but let's put it this way: say you've been loyal to a company for over 30 years. Say you've put your life on the line for them more than once, that you've sacrificed time with family and friends to do your job, spent sleepless nights working overtime or worrying about something at work, was put in the position to help out literally hundreds of people and HAD helped hundreds if not more people during the course of your career. Say you elevated your unit to a high level within the organization, and with this came immense recognition and huge amounts of special funding. Say you'd done all this and a shitton more and to thank you, your company punishes you then transfers you 120 miles from your home. You'd be pissed right? You'd probably retire, yes? Yeah, well that's what my father's doing. After recovering from the shock and anger and realizing that dad's health and family trump job crap and that retiring is best, I made a big note to self: never work for the Commonwealth. They will suck your soul dry and then kick you while you're down. B8tches!!
Lester. Let's end with a happy note, shall we? I would like to ANNOUNCE to anyone not from around here or anyone who does not follow the great American pastime, that my FAVORITE Red Sox player pitched the first major-league no-hitter of the season. That's right, good ol' Jon Lester, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor pitched a no-hitter against the Royals last night, and by all accounts it was positively glorious. JL became my favorite when it was announced he had NHL (the disease I cover here at the cancer hospital) I was hoping he would kick it's ass and return to play for the Sox to show the world that cancer is a little b*tch that deserves to be beat into the ground. He did just that and last night he proved he was more badass than ever. AWESOME JON LESTER!!!! WOOT!
I've had a lot of time to think about my letters, so I guess I'll have to be pretty brief on each. Here goes.....
Kenya. It's hard to believe it's been 5 years since I spent my semester in Kenya. My memories are still so vivid. I totally admit that sometimes I think of Kenya and all of my friends there and my heart sighs a little; I wonder if I'll ever return. This is not as bad as when I came home from my semester there though - then I truly believed I'd never go back...never EVER, and of course less than three years later I found myself standing in Jomo Kenyatta International face to face with Mboya Musau and his bright yellow parka, so I'm not exactly despondent when I think of Kenya now, more wistful. I think I'll get back there one of these days. I'm sure I'll be in Africa again at some point. The whole thing is so puzzling to me though, still. Why do I love it so much? I feel so drawn to Kenya and I have really no reason to be....I call it a primordial draw--a desire to return to our evolutionary "mother" since Kenya is the cradle of our evolution. That's the only reasonable explanation I can think of, in addition to the friends I made there of course. Hmm.
Kicking the habit. I decided to go off caffeine, soda in particular. I've been reading these really nasty things about aspartame lately and thought "Allison, you really ought to stop it with the soda." I mean it's bad for your bones, bad for your skin and makes it difficult to lose weight. Not that I am trying to lose weight per se, I am trying to be toned, but even that can be confounded by the consumption of large amounts of soda. I decided to go off it, see how it felt...you know see what it was like to decide one day "I would LIKE a coke zero" or "I would LIKE a latte" Not "Ohmyeffinggod if I don't have caffeine right now I will DDDIIEEEE" It's been going well. I haven't completely gone off soda, I admit, but I try to keep it to no more than 1 a day a few days a week. I feel empowered!! The coffee on the other hand isn't evil like aspartame, but it was really messing with my stomach for a few weeks. Maybe I'll start making my morning cup again, but maybe not.
Knitting. Knitting has kept me calm these past few weeks. It's been rough, there's been some family drama and I've felt pretty helpless. Knitting gives me control!! I am participating in my second ISE and it's been great fun. This weekend I received my ISE package and it's really fantastic. I mean, TOTAL strangers are being all thoughtful and lovely and knitting for one another and sending each other goodies, it really is fantastic. It sort of restores my hope for humanity every time I'm like "ugh people are so frickin rude." Then you get this package in the mail full of great stuff that someone took the time to pick out and package for you and you realize that there are still kind people out in the world. Yay!
Liberia. Speaking of amazing people - I saw a documentary on Ellen Johnson Sirleaf about a month ago. It was on the Independent Lens on PBS and was called Iron Ladies of Liberia. Holy crap, it was amazing. If you're ever looking for inspiration, I highly recommend this film. In the first ten minutes or so I found myself transfixed by Sirleaf's story and got pretty emotional at one point when the narrator discussed women's rights. I was all "This is why I cast my vote in every election, no matter how trivial it may seem, I vote for all the women of the world who do not share the rights I enjoy as an American woman." Yeah, sometimes I get like that, very impassioned etc, and it's in these moments I come up with my most brilliant "save the world" ideas, LOL. Anyways, check the movie out. It's incredible. It pretty much sums up (to me at least) why we haven't had a woman who I've felt would be a good president. Sirleaf is the type of woman you need to be to be a head of state. Hil, bless her for running, doesn't have it. Heck, as much as I love him, I'm not even sure that B-rock has the guts this lady does. Bad-ASS.
Life and Death. So we had a death in the family this month. It really sucks, there's just no other way to say it. Death BLOWS, especially when it's untimely, as it was in this case. The extraordinary thing though, is what we learned about my cousin Catherine's life in the wake of her death. She was a gifted psychologist - this we knew. She had two PhD's and was a brainiac, and I enjoyed talking with her about "issues" more than anything. She really had a way of deconstructing people and putting you in their shoes, making you understand their line of thought a little better. I think she made me a more understanding person in many ways. Anyways, the outpouring of praise for her colleagues and patients at her wake was extraordinary. Because of HIPAA and privacy laws, Catherine talked little of her patients. She would mention a case here and there, but never associate names or ages or professions with any of her stories. We were so pleased to hear the wonderful things people said about her, that she helped them, that they only knew her for ten hours but they were the most important ten hours of their life, how she wasn't afraid to be judgmental and tell a patient they did something dumb (that was my favorite pt story). Her colleagues talked about how brilliant she was, and even though her health prevented her from working full time, they wanted her to be a part of the practice so badly, they accommodated her schedule. It's funny because even now, two weeks after her death, it doesn't seem real. I keep thinking that we'll call her up one of these days and say "you missed this fantastic party with all your friends and family and coworkers and patients." Sigh. May we all be so lucky to live to be 100. Or 101. That would do me just fine.
Loyalty. This is touchy and I don't want to go into detail but let's put it this way: say you've been loyal to a company for over 30 years. Say you've put your life on the line for them more than once, that you've sacrificed time with family and friends to do your job, spent sleepless nights working overtime or worrying about something at work, was put in the position to help out literally hundreds of people and HAD helped hundreds if not more people during the course of your career. Say you elevated your unit to a high level within the organization, and with this came immense recognition and huge amounts of special funding. Say you'd done all this and a shitton more and to thank you, your company punishes you then transfers you 120 miles from your home. You'd be pissed right? You'd probably retire, yes? Yeah, well that's what my father's doing. After recovering from the shock and anger and realizing that dad's health and family trump job crap and that retiring is best, I made a big note to self: never work for the Commonwealth. They will suck your soul dry and then kick you while you're down. B8tches!!
Lester. Let's end with a happy note, shall we? I would like to ANNOUNCE to anyone not from around here or anyone who does not follow the great American pastime, that my FAVORITE Red Sox player pitched the first major-league no-hitter of the season. That's right, good ol' Jon Lester, Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor pitched a no-hitter against the Royals last night, and by all accounts it was positively glorious. JL became my favorite when it was announced he had NHL (the disease I cover here at the cancer hospital) I was hoping he would kick it's ass and return to play for the Sox to show the world that cancer is a little b*tch that deserves to be beat into the ground. He did just that and last night he proved he was more badass than ever. AWESOME JON LESTER!!!! WOOT!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Out of Commission
This blog(ger) is going on a brief hiatus. My cousin Catherine passed away early Tuesday morning. There is a lot to deal with both in terms of getting sh*t done and emotionally. I'll be back in a bit.
-Al
-Al
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Justice/Job Searching/Just Married
Justice: My grandma is convinced that there is a serious black cloud hanging over our family. First of all we have our cousin in the hospital, in ICU all sedated and ventilated with colon mets and are between a rock and a hard place given her care. I went in to the hospital yesterday with my dad (her health care proxy) and while he asked questions like "so you think she'll wake up and work again" I got all cancer hospital on their asses and was like "what did her renal status look like today?" Yeah, I do research but in the past three years have read easily over 1,500 medical records or MORE so I know some sh*t. Plus the nurse was like "don't sell yourself short, you probably know a lot more than you think you do." Ha ha yeah, like how I totally diagnosed Jam's coworker with Meniere's Disease!! I should start a booth on the corner with a sign "Diagnosis $20." Anyhow, we have the cousin who is ill and needs decisions made for her and no decision will be easy or good.
Then we have the fact that my grandma ATE IT in the backyard. When I say that my grandma fell, people get this image of a little old lady puttering around in her garden, all house dress and white hair. Oh no. Granny was on the porch enjoying a leisurely afternoon reading a book when she noticed a squirrel digging in her garden. "That damn squirrel!" she exclaimed, taking off her glasses and putting down her book. She whipped open the porch door, took a leap towards the garden, yelling at the squirrel, and tripped on a rain gutter. Not wanting to break her glasses, the woman did NOTHING to break her fall and landed on her knees then her face. She got a ride in ambulance for that.
Dad, let's see....he had gum surgery Monday, complete with 7 stitches. Add that to the complete and utter bullsh*t he has had to tolerate at work, he is not a happy camper.
Mom is better, recovering from a certain medical procedure...see if you can guess what it was...first you sh*t for like, EVER, then you get probed. Yeah. It's like a dark family secret that she even got a c****oscopy, so I won't mention it here anymore, but it turned out ok in the end. Of course Dad's turn is on Tuesday and he is not secretive. He's like "Oh I got to sit on the toilet all night on Monday then they put the camera up my ass." Awesome Dad, way to be brutally honest and fairly descriptive.
Me and Ame? I think we're pretty much ok. You know. Stress and crap. I have a final on Friday that could spell certain doom or victory. I am thinking VICTORY. I have a feeling. Yes. It's really the only thing I have control of at this point.
Finally the JUSTICE part. So the black cloud extended to my aunt and uncle yesterday, when someone tried to break into their house and left a trail of blood inside their kitchen (they didn't get IN to the house, but apparently bled INTO their house. Lovely) which covered the floor, their curtains, the deck, etc. This of course was pleasing to HPD because they were all "SCORE!! EVIDENCE! BLOOD EVIDENCE!!" If they ever arrest someone maybe they will do a DNA matching test!!! Knowing small town HPD though they will probably just hold the bloodied kitchen curtain up to the suspect and be like "Oh is this your blood?" Nah, I sell them short, HPD is pretty awesome, and I think they are probably way more badass than I think they are. Anyways, my uncle and cousin took the "I'm freaked out" reaction. I would be too, absolutely. My aunt chose rage, probably a little bit because her neighbor witnessed the whole scenario (besides the actual break-in) and did NOT call the police (I thought they were workmen! she said. Yeah workmen with dark hoodies and leather gloves? SURE!) and because her door is ruined. She hoped they bled to death. I think I am mostly wishing for not death justice but embarrassing legal justice where the thieves are caught and arrested and we get to go to the arraignment and look at their faces with unbridled disdain and judgment and say "You bastards effed up the kitchen door!!! But you were too big of a loser to get in a steal sh*t!" Ahh fantasies.
Job Search: Yep, I'm at work and job searching....because I am so confident I will pass my final with flying colors and graduate. I don't plan to switch jobs til fall, but I figure there is no harm in looking. Unfortunately most interesting jobs that combine the delightful fields of conservation and social justice pay s-h-i-t. And while I am all about undertaking a noble profession for a good cause, I need a raise if I am going to pay my student loans. Wicked depressing, yet the harsh reality of it all. I think I need an ice cream cone.
Just Married: No I did not elope. I was flipping through the Lowe's and Home Depot circular looking for large potted palms for next week's Foster Parrots/NEEWS Grand Opening complete with Jane Goodall. I was flipping through the pages past the usual junk, you know like spackle and insulation and ceiling fans and faucets and I thought "sh*t. One day Jam and I are going to own a home. And this type of crap? We'll get off on it. We'll be like "OMG can't wait til Saturday, linoleum on special at the Home Depot. Maybe we can do the kitchen floor?!" Maybe I exaggerate the excitement that moderately-priced lighting fixtures will bring to our lives as Jam isn't exactly handy...maybe it'll be something like "F8ck. I broke the toilet. Allison??!!" Who know though. The excitement could happen. Scary.
Then we have the fact that my grandma ATE IT in the backyard. When I say that my grandma fell, people get this image of a little old lady puttering around in her garden, all house dress and white hair. Oh no. Granny was on the porch enjoying a leisurely afternoon reading a book when she noticed a squirrel digging in her garden. "That damn squirrel!" she exclaimed, taking off her glasses and putting down her book. She whipped open the porch door, took a leap towards the garden, yelling at the squirrel, and tripped on a rain gutter. Not wanting to break her glasses, the woman did NOTHING to break her fall and landed on her knees then her face. She got a ride in ambulance for that.
Dad, let's see....he had gum surgery Monday, complete with 7 stitches. Add that to the complete and utter bullsh*t he has had to tolerate at work, he is not a happy camper.
Mom is better, recovering from a certain medical procedure...see if you can guess what it was...first you sh*t for like, EVER, then you get probed. Yeah. It's like a dark family secret that she even got a c****oscopy, so I won't mention it here anymore, but it turned out ok in the end. Of course Dad's turn is on Tuesday and he is not secretive. He's like "Oh I got to sit on the toilet all night on Monday then they put the camera up my ass." Awesome Dad, way to be brutally honest and fairly descriptive.
Me and Ame? I think we're pretty much ok. You know. Stress and crap. I have a final on Friday that could spell certain doom or victory. I am thinking VICTORY. I have a feeling. Yes. It's really the only thing I have control of at this point.
Finally the JUSTICE part. So the black cloud extended to my aunt and uncle yesterday, when someone tried to break into their house and left a trail of blood inside their kitchen (they didn't get IN to the house, but apparently bled INTO their house. Lovely) which covered the floor, their curtains, the deck, etc. This of course was pleasing to HPD because they were all "SCORE!! EVIDENCE! BLOOD EVIDENCE!!" If they ever arrest someone maybe they will do a DNA matching test!!! Knowing small town HPD though they will probably just hold the bloodied kitchen curtain up to the suspect and be like "Oh is this your blood?" Nah, I sell them short, HPD is pretty awesome, and I think they are probably way more badass than I think they are. Anyways, my uncle and cousin took the "I'm freaked out" reaction. I would be too, absolutely. My aunt chose rage, probably a little bit because her neighbor witnessed the whole scenario (besides the actual break-in) and did NOT call the police (I thought they were workmen! she said. Yeah workmen with dark hoodies and leather gloves? SURE!) and because her door is ruined. She hoped they bled to death. I think I am mostly wishing for not death justice but embarrassing legal justice where the thieves are caught and arrested and we get to go to the arraignment and look at their faces with unbridled disdain and judgment and say "You bastards effed up the kitchen door!!! But you were too big of a loser to get in a steal sh*t!" Ahh fantasies.
Job Search: Yep, I'm at work and job searching....because I am so confident I will pass my final with flying colors and graduate. I don't plan to switch jobs til fall, but I figure there is no harm in looking. Unfortunately most interesting jobs that combine the delightful fields of conservation and social justice pay s-h-i-t. And while I am all about undertaking a noble profession for a good cause, I need a raise if I am going to pay my student loans. Wicked depressing, yet the harsh reality of it all. I think I need an ice cream cone.
Just Married: No I did not elope. I was flipping through the Lowe's and Home Depot circular looking for large potted palms for next week's Foster Parrots/NEEWS Grand Opening complete with Jane Goodall. I was flipping through the pages past the usual junk, you know like spackle and insulation and ceiling fans and faucets and I thought "sh*t. One day Jam and I are going to own a home. And this type of crap? We'll get off on it. We'll be like "OMG can't wait til Saturday, linoleum on special at the Home Depot. Maybe we can do the kitchen floor?!" Maybe I exaggerate the excitement that moderately-priced lighting fixtures will bring to our lives as Jam isn't exactly handy...maybe it'll be something like "F8ck. I broke the toilet. Allison??!!" Who know though. The excitement could happen. Scary.
Monday, April 28, 2008
I is for Irresponsible
So apparently I irresponsibly forgot a credit card payment last month on my Ann Taylor Loft account. Yup, I owed a minimum payment of $10. So criminal. I paid it a week ago or so. On Saturday I started receiving calls from a collection agency. I didn't answer them, but know it's the number of a WFFNB collection agency because I googled it, and the internet gave me all the answers.
Speaking of which, can we have a moment for the internet and all the wonderful things it has brought us? Like Ravelry and blogs, instant news, photosharing on flickr, marketplaces like ebay and etsy and OH, WEBSITES THAT LIST PHONE NUMBERS THAT ARE BOGUS OR COLLECTION AGENCIES!
Anyways, my answer to these calls was to pay off all the ridiculous balances I was carrying on my WFFNB cards (ATL, Victoria's Secret, JCrew, Ny&Co....I only had balances on two though, the other two were ZERO!). Jamaal says that I should answer the calls and get a the people from the collection agency to promise me in writing that this little kerfluffle will not f*ck my credit score. He is right. Jam, are you reading? YOU ARE RIGHT. But as I told him, I don't even care any more. Don't care. Paid it off, case closed.
Of course this is financially irresponsible. I know. And if we can't get a mortgage because I forgot to make a $10 payment on an Ann Taylor card in April 2008 while being in school part time, working full time and under special extraordinary family stress yet still paying every other credit card and bill on time, I think we have a problem, and it's not me, it's the g-d*mn system. I don't think this will f*ck us over, but I do understand Jam wanting me to follow up on this because 1. that is what he would do, and be a bastard to the company to the point where they'd be like 'oh no, let us pay YOU for using our card and being a loyal customer' (because he is one of those people who complains and then gets sh*t for free, whereas I would simply be asked to leave the restaurant) 2. he is a businessman and 3. we're engaged, gonna be married and singing the song all Whitney Houston style "Your debt is my debt, and my debt is your debt...it would take an eternity to pay it off...the chains of Chase Manhattan would still hold us"
Sigh. I know I should call and make a fuss. But the thought makes me just want to 1. sleep 2. cry 3. vomit 4. all of the above. I can't deal. So I'm choosing irresponsibility. Considering I've been pretty damn responsible about everything else in life lately, I'm hoping that everyone will accept me for the flawed human being that I am and let this one slllide.
Speaking of which, can we have a moment for the internet and all the wonderful things it has brought us? Like Ravelry and blogs, instant news, photosharing on flickr, marketplaces like ebay and etsy and OH, WEBSITES THAT LIST PHONE NUMBERS THAT ARE BOGUS OR COLLECTION AGENCIES!
Anyways, my answer to these calls was to pay off all the ridiculous balances I was carrying on my WFFNB cards (ATL, Victoria's Secret, JCrew, Ny&Co....I only had balances on two though, the other two were ZERO!). Jamaal says that I should answer the calls and get a the people from the collection agency to promise me in writing that this little kerfluffle will not f*ck my credit score. He is right. Jam, are you reading? YOU ARE RIGHT. But as I told him, I don't even care any more. Don't care. Paid it off, case closed.
Of course this is financially irresponsible. I know. And if we can't get a mortgage because I forgot to make a $10 payment on an Ann Taylor card in April 2008 while being in school part time, working full time and under special extraordinary family stress yet still paying every other credit card and bill on time, I think we have a problem, and it's not me, it's the g-d*mn system. I don't think this will f*ck us over, but I do understand Jam wanting me to follow up on this because 1. that is what he would do, and be a bastard to the company to the point where they'd be like 'oh no, let us pay YOU for using our card and being a loyal customer' (because he is one of those people who complains and then gets sh*t for free, whereas I would simply be asked to leave the restaurant) 2. he is a businessman and 3. we're engaged, gonna be married and singing the song all Whitney Houston style "Your debt is my debt, and my debt is your debt...it would take an eternity to pay it off...the chains of Chase Manhattan would still hold us"
Sigh. I know I should call and make a fuss. But the thought makes me just want to 1. sleep 2. cry 3. vomit 4. all of the above. I can't deal. So I'm choosing irresponsibility. Considering I've been pretty damn responsible about everything else in life lately, I'm hoping that everyone will accept me for the flawed human being that I am and let this one slllide.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
G and H
I'm still here, and I'm sticking to the letters.
As for G, I don't know about anyone else, but I eagerly awaited the return of Grey's Anatomy last Thursday night. No, I'm not the type of person who cries when a show goes off the air or anything, but I really felt like the writer's strike threw off the balance of the universe, and I'm happy to have Grey's back. world in order once again.
Hospital - The reason I've been absent. My cousin and my father's closest living relative is critically ill in the hospital. She's been there for two weeks and has declined steadily. I'm sad because this is really the only person left for my father, we're all really stressed at home with her being sick, some crap that's going down at my father' s job, and to add to my personal stress, we've got school and the simple existence of May and June. I have one free weekend in May and no free weekends in June. While everyone loves weddings and parties, the amount of them squished into this short period and the fact that 4 of the events will occur out of state stress me out, because nearly all of them require a car filled with gasoline and a gift. I think people will be cool regarding the gas and we can work out splitting it if a bunch of us carpool, but still. I am stressing a bit. Right now I am trying to think positively about my cousin's frankly grave state and my finals, but I am sort of just holding my breath and hoping things go well. Like they say in Botswana, I'm standing on one toe...
Happy Birthday. Finally on a happier note, I had a fantastic birthday with my sister. She took me to Oasis Day Spa to have my nails done and it was soooo relaxing. We then headed to the Cape for lunch and tea and to buy some jewelry.....then I googled yarn shops on my cell phone (like a true knit-a-holic) and we drove to a yarn shop where I found 10 skeins of Noro for $40, a perfect starter for the coveted Lizard Ridge afghan I would like to start. To top it off, Ame made a strawberry rhubarb pie and an awesome and quirky cross stitch picture for me, a picture of all these little woodland creatures going to a party with their hats on:
I just love it, and it's even cuter in person....I'm looking at it now. Plus she hand painted the frame! I think we are going to try and open an etsy shop for our cross stitch work soon. we'll have to see.
Well that's it. It's been kind of a crap month with a few gems here and there. I can only hope that things will start looking up in May....I HOPE.
As for G, I don't know about anyone else, but I eagerly awaited the return of Grey's Anatomy last Thursday night. No, I'm not the type of person who cries when a show goes off the air or anything, but I really felt like the writer's strike threw off the balance of the universe, and I'm happy to have Grey's back. world in order once again.
Hospital - The reason I've been absent. My cousin and my father's closest living relative is critically ill in the hospital. She's been there for two weeks and has declined steadily. I'm sad because this is really the only person left for my father, we're all really stressed at home with her being sick, some crap that's going down at my father' s job, and to add to my personal stress, we've got school and the simple existence of May and June. I have one free weekend in May and no free weekends in June. While everyone loves weddings and parties, the amount of them squished into this short period and the fact that 4 of the events will occur out of state stress me out, because nearly all of them require a car filled with gasoline and a gift. I think people will be cool regarding the gas and we can work out splitting it if a bunch of us carpool, but still. I am stressing a bit. Right now I am trying to think positively about my cousin's frankly grave state and my finals, but I am sort of just holding my breath and hoping things go well. Like they say in Botswana, I'm standing on one toe...
Happy Birthday. Finally on a happier note, I had a fantastic birthday with my sister. She took me to Oasis Day Spa to have my nails done and it was soooo relaxing. We then headed to the Cape for lunch and tea and to buy some jewelry.....then I googled yarn shops on my cell phone (like a true knit-a-holic) and we drove to a yarn shop where I found 10 skeins of Noro for $40, a perfect starter for the coveted Lizard Ridge afghan I would like to start. To top it off, Ame made a strawberry rhubarb pie and an awesome and quirky cross stitch picture for me, a picture of all these little woodland creatures going to a party with their hats on:
I just love it, and it's even cuter in person....I'm looking at it now. Plus she hand painted the frame! I think we are going to try and open an etsy shop for our cross stitch work soon. we'll have to see.Well that's it. It's been kind of a crap month with a few gems here and there. I can only hope that things will start looking up in May....I HOPE.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Loopy
So I am very very loopy from my platelet donation. I need to sit a while and let everything readjust, as well as flush the anticoagulant from my system. I haven't forgotten about G and H....I'll be back!
Monday, April 07, 2008
F
My friend just sent me this email. It sums up life at the moment.
And makes great use of the letter F
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
f*ck.
I edited it with the *. But seriously, right now, I'm sitting at my desk, going over my thoughts, and that's the word that keeps flashing in my head. Holy ever-loving F*CK!
Hopefully in 24 hours or so I will be better. I hope I hope.
And makes great use of the letter F
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
f*ck.
I edited it with the *. But seriously, right now, I'm sitting at my desk, going over my thoughts, and that's the word that keeps flashing in my head. Holy ever-loving F*CK!
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Elephants/Eccezionale
E was a hard letter to tackle, I admit it. I'm glad I've got a few weeks before "X" comes up.
When I tried to thing of interesting blog fodder that begins with E I thought of two things, an animal and a word. Random, but here goes.
Elephants are probably what every kid thinks of when you say 'name something that begins with E,' but it's fresh in my mind today. We went to a candle party on Friday (they really are fun, I have to admit) and PartyLite has this elephant votive holder that I was going to get. I decided on a set of mini-elephants, as the big elephant was too pricey and I was trying to be a good girl for a change. The hostess brought her friend to take orders for her, and as she was cashing me out she asked me where I was going to put the votives. "Well," I said, "I have sort of this Africa table in my room. I've been there twice and once was for four months, so I have quite a collection and I think the elephants will go well with my giraffe family and carved frame and little boma I have on the table." Right away, the woman, whose name was Cecile, exclaimed "You've been to Africa? Twice? What was it like?" I told her that I'd been to Kenya, once for a semester, once on a reunion trip and couldn't wait to get back there. Normally when I am the slightest bit intoxicated I ramble on and on, and in this case I was trying to hold back and not bore this poor woman, but she kept asking question after question. I finally said to her "If you ever get the chance to go, you must. Seeing an elephant in the wild is out of this world. It will literally blow your mind." Which I think is true. I saw hundreds of elephants during my semester there, but even upon my return in '06 they still filled me with the greatest sense of wonder. You look at them and think of the things they have seen - you can tell they are incredibly intelligent, and that they're looking right back at you, trying to decide what to make of you. Seeing an elephant face to face (ok within reasonable distance, they are quite dangerous at times) is magic. I recommend the experience to everyone.
Eccezionale is far more random than elephants. It means something like "extraordinary" or "exceptional" in Italian, and is actually the name of an Irene Grandi song we had to sing in class. Unlike most of the Italian songs we were forced to sing in classe d'italiano this one was singable (try getting 20 girls to sing Con Te Partiro or O Mio Babbino Caro. Not good.). It's kind of a rock song with a great chorus, though I find the music video somewhat ODD
Anyways, I love the song and still listen to it as well as another track, Verde Rosso e Blu. As I was thinking about how I love listening to these songs despite the fact that I can only get a basic idea of what they're about, given my poor italian skills, I realized that there a lot of foreign language songs on my iPod, and I don't know what the HELL a lot of them are about, yet I still enjoy the songs. Here they are: Corcovado (which is Portuguese and English, but so lovely) by Astrud and Joao Gilberto, Kothbiro by Ayub Ogado, Fanta by Baaba Maal, Tabu Wote Changu Sasa, Shosholosa, Any Ladysmith Black Mambazo (hhahhhhaa YES), A La Claire Fontaine by Laure Shang, Szerelem Szerelem by Marta Sebestyen, Malaika and Holili by Miriam Makeba, Soweto Daal by Wasis Diop, Mos Mos by E-Sir, Baba Yetu from Civilization IV, and Choli Ke Peeche from the movie Khalnayak, though I have some remix rap version. These are just a few favorites anyways, the ones I badly attempt to belt out while driving in my car. It's kind of fun to branch out and listen to stuff you don't understand - though I did just find out that some people think Choli is a little crude meaning something to the effect of "what's under you blouse?" I'll be careful where I blast that one, LOL.
When I tried to thing of interesting blog fodder that begins with E I thought of two things, an animal and a word. Random, but here goes.
Elephants are probably what every kid thinks of when you say 'name something that begins with E,' but it's fresh in my mind today. We went to a candle party on Friday (they really are fun, I have to admit) and PartyLite has this elephant votive holder that I was going to get. I decided on a set of mini-elephants, as the big elephant was too pricey and I was trying to be a good girl for a change. The hostess brought her friend to take orders for her, and as she was cashing me out she asked me where I was going to put the votives. "Well," I said, "I have sort of this Africa table in my room. I've been there twice and once was for four months, so I have quite a collection and I think the elephants will go well with my giraffe family and carved frame and little boma I have on the table." Right away, the woman, whose name was Cecile, exclaimed "You've been to Africa? Twice? What was it like?" I told her that I'd been to Kenya, once for a semester, once on a reunion trip and couldn't wait to get back there. Normally when I am the slightest bit intoxicated I ramble on and on, and in this case I was trying to hold back and not bore this poor woman, but she kept asking question after question. I finally said to her "If you ever get the chance to go, you must. Seeing an elephant in the wild is out of this world. It will literally blow your mind." Which I think is true. I saw hundreds of elephants during my semester there, but even upon my return in '06 they still filled me with the greatest sense of wonder. You look at them and think of the things they have seen - you can tell they are incredibly intelligent, and that they're looking right back at you, trying to decide what to make of you. Seeing an elephant face to face (ok within reasonable distance, they are quite dangerous at times) is magic. I recommend the experience to everyone.
Eccezionale is far more random than elephants. It means something like "extraordinary" or "exceptional" in Italian, and is actually the name of an Irene Grandi song we had to sing in class. Unlike most of the Italian songs we were forced to sing in classe d'italiano this one was singable (try getting 20 girls to sing Con Te Partiro or O Mio Babbino Caro. Not good.). It's kind of a rock song with a great chorus, though I find the music video somewhat ODD
Anyways, I love the song and still listen to it as well as another track, Verde Rosso e Blu. As I was thinking about how I love listening to these songs despite the fact that I can only get a basic idea of what they're about, given my poor italian skills, I realized that there a lot of foreign language songs on my iPod, and I don't know what the HELL a lot of them are about, yet I still enjoy the songs. Here they are: Corcovado (which is Portuguese and English, but so lovely) by Astrud and Joao Gilberto, Kothbiro by Ayub Ogado, Fanta by Baaba Maal, Tabu Wote Changu Sasa, Shosholosa, Any Ladysmith Black Mambazo (hhahhhhaa YES), A La Claire Fontaine by Laure Shang, Szerelem Szerelem by Marta Sebestyen, Malaika and Holili by Miriam Makeba, Soweto Daal by Wasis Diop, Mos Mos by E-Sir, Baba Yetu from Civilization IV, and Choli Ke Peeche from the movie Khalnayak, though I have some remix rap version. These are just a few favorites anyways, the ones I badly attempt to belt out while driving in my car. It's kind of fun to branch out and listen to stuff you don't understand - though I did just find out that some people think Choli is a little crude meaning something to the effect of "what's under you blouse?" I'll be careful where I blast that one, LOL.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
D is for...
Done
I am so DONE
With school
With studying
With obsessing
With stressing
I am DONE
And I'm going to have a DRINK!!!
I am so DONE
With school
With studying
With obsessing
With stressing
I am DONE
And I'm going to have a DRINK!!!
Friday, April 04, 2008
Cancer/Courtesy/Change
Cancer
I work at a cancer hospital in Boston. It's not great secret which one it is and it's also no great secret that for the past three years I've had a torrid love-hate relationship with my job. In general this job is "a living" - it's nothing dramatic, it's nothing extraordinary, it's something I do that keeps me out of trouble. I have had some incredibly humbling experiences since working here that have made me grateful simply to have the strength to step outside in the sunshine and take a breath of fresh air, but I credited the Institute itself for those experiences - I've never really given my job itself that much credit. Why? Because for the most part it is rather dull. I sit in front of two computer screens for most of my days, abstracting medical records into a database which tracks non-Hodgkin's lymphoma patients' diagnoses, treatments, and outcomes, as well as a slew of other data. I mean it's interesting at times, and I'm up on most of the latest lymphoma treatments out there. I've learned a great deal about the human body too, but for the most part, the work day drags and I only feel relief when I step outside, flip on the iPod and start making my way home. I dreamed of the day I'd walk out of here forever, not to return unless donating platelets or (heaven forbid) if I or someone in my family became sick. That was until last week, when my former project manager came to present her thesis defense to our department. She had earned her PhD and was now looking to get published. I always enjoy heme onc presentations since so much of my department is focused around things such as end-of-life care, palliative care, outcomes, etc. When she came to the methods section, the presenter explained that her data came from the database. MY database. My ears perked up. As she continued to speak, she gave the details of what the database collects. My heart swelled with pride. "That's my data," I thought. For the first time I saw the real deep and true value of what I do. Then I started thinking about how this has been my project for three years, and I felt myself getting almost emotional about letting it go. As a control freak, this project has been a perfect fit, I now know I'll have a hard time leaving it behind, even though when I go, it will be time to go!
As for courtesy, I'm going through one of those phases where the level of rudeness I observe on the T every day is reaching maximum capacity, and I feel like I'm going to snap and do something extreme or rude (and by "extreme" I mean throw the paper someone just threw on the floor back in their faces and by "rude" I mean push back or say EXCUSE ME really loudly. Nothing violent or anything!) Yesterday I was on the green line and started to fall, because I got shoved into that annoying spot where you can't reach a vertical pole, and you're too short to reach the horizontal pole, and you just have to balance with like, two fingers barely touching the vertical pole. All the people sitting just stare up at you as that stupid train bounces you around. Of course the Heath Street train is particularly offensive given that it is so overcrowded. As I was trying to balance the other day, we took a hard turn between Arlington and Copley and I lost my balance, something I hate because it makes you look so spazzy. So I start to fall backwards. The lady on my left was really cool in that she tried to catch me, she actually made a grab for my coat, which I appreciate. The women on my right, instead of sticking a hand out and just pushing me back, MOVED. Yup they moved so I could fall backwards and they could watch. I regained my balance at the last minute and stepped on one of their feet. I felt really bad, but then again they did just let me fall. I mean you don't see a person collapse and move so they hit the deck unless they are far away or too big to help down gently. While that is very very mild in terms of the usual rudeness that I see, I will still sort of all down about my fellow humankind and their willingness to help each other. Sigh. I did see something nice today though to restore some of my faith. This lady was trying to jet out of the Red Line at South Station and she kind of took out a woman, also exiting the train, on her way out. I figured she keep walking, but instead she stopped herself, turned and said "I'm sorry. You go ahead." Wow. There is hope!
Change
So today is the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr's assassination. Since I was a little kid, I had this odd fascination with MLK. I don't know why exactly, but I must've found his words inspirational, because as a second-grader I memorized part of his "I have a dream" speech for fun and recited it for my teacher. I remember I used to get chills when I got to this part: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." I thought it was beautiful, even though I didn't understand the full meaning of it all until I was older. Since I am only 25 - well 26 in 12 days (wow. time FLEW) I obviously was not alive in MLK's day, and don't truly understand the times and the struggles of the times, the tumultuousness that filled the United States, and I don't think anyone who didn't live through that can really understand what it was like. I listed to the words of Dr. King and I am so puzzled as to why people were scared of what he said - his words were so beautiful, so full of hope and determination. Listening to them today, I wonder what he would think if he were still alive today - or rather what he would think, were he to return, as I think his continued fight for equality would have made the nation a very different place. While I don't think MLK would be overjoyed to see some of the things that are happening in this country, I really think that he would not write us off as hopeless, not just yet. Why? Because I hear his words echoed in the words of another man, you know, that guy who keeps calling for change, telling us "Yes We Can." I'm not going to plug B-rock obnoxiously as I usually do, but I really think that 40 years later, we need to revisit the teaching of Martin Luther King. We need to read his words, we need to think about the things he said and the vision he had for this country...and I'm not talking about reading his speeches and saying "oh segregation? it's done, it's over, we're good now." I mean getting in there and reading his words and thinking about how far we still need to go, that we must, we must, we must change.
"With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day" MLK
"We know the battle ahead will be long. But always remember that, no matter what obstacles
stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
Stepping off my soapbox now, the air up here is thin ;)
I work at a cancer hospital in Boston. It's not great secret which one it is and it's also no great secret that for the past three years I've had a torrid love-hate relationship with my job. In general this job is "a living" - it's nothing dramatic, it's nothing extraordinary, it's something I do that keeps me out of trouble. I have had some incredibly humbling experiences since working here that have made me grateful simply to have the strength to step outside in the sunshine and take a breath of fresh air, but I credited the Institute itself for those experiences - I've never really given my job itself that much credit. Why? Because for the most part it is rather dull. I sit in front of two computer screens for most of my days, abstracting medical records into a database which tracks non-Hodgkin's lymphoma patients' diagnoses, treatments, and outcomes, as well as a slew of other data. I mean it's interesting at times, and I'm up on most of the latest lymphoma treatments out there. I've learned a great deal about the human body too, but for the most part, the work day drags and I only feel relief when I step outside, flip on the iPod and start making my way home. I dreamed of the day I'd walk out of here forever, not to return unless donating platelets or (heaven forbid) if I or someone in my family became sick. That was until last week, when my former project manager came to present her thesis defense to our department. She had earned her PhD and was now looking to get published. I always enjoy heme onc presentations since so much of my department is focused around things such as end-of-life care, palliative care, outcomes, etc. When she came to the methods section, the presenter explained that her data came from the database. MY database. My ears perked up. As she continued to speak, she gave the details of what the database collects. My heart swelled with pride. "That's my data," I thought. For the first time I saw the real deep and true value of what I do. Then I started thinking about how this has been my project for three years, and I felt myself getting almost emotional about letting it go. As a control freak, this project has been a perfect fit, I now know I'll have a hard time leaving it behind, even though when I go, it will be time to go!
As for courtesy, I'm going through one of those phases where the level of rudeness I observe on the T every day is reaching maximum capacity, and I feel like I'm going to snap and do something extreme or rude (and by "extreme" I mean throw the paper someone just threw on the floor back in their faces and by "rude" I mean push back or say EXCUSE ME really loudly. Nothing violent or anything!) Yesterday I was on the green line and started to fall, because I got shoved into that annoying spot where you can't reach a vertical pole, and you're too short to reach the horizontal pole, and you just have to balance with like, two fingers barely touching the vertical pole. All the people sitting just stare up at you as that stupid train bounces you around. Of course the Heath Street train is particularly offensive given that it is so overcrowded. As I was trying to balance the other day, we took a hard turn between Arlington and Copley and I lost my balance, something I hate because it makes you look so spazzy. So I start to fall backwards. The lady on my left was really cool in that she tried to catch me, she actually made a grab for my coat, which I appreciate. The women on my right, instead of sticking a hand out and just pushing me back, MOVED. Yup they moved so I could fall backwards and they could watch. I regained my balance at the last minute and stepped on one of their feet. I felt really bad, but then again they did just let me fall. I mean you don't see a person collapse and move so they hit the deck unless they are far away or too big to help down gently. While that is very very mild in terms of the usual rudeness that I see, I will still sort of all down about my fellow humankind and their willingness to help each other. Sigh. I did see something nice today though to restore some of my faith. This lady was trying to jet out of the Red Line at South Station and she kind of took out a woman, also exiting the train, on her way out. I figured she keep walking, but instead she stopped herself, turned and said "I'm sorry. You go ahead." Wow. There is hope!
Change
So today is the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr's assassination. Since I was a little kid, I had this odd fascination with MLK. I don't know why exactly, but I must've found his words inspirational, because as a second-grader I memorized part of his "I have a dream" speech for fun and recited it for my teacher. I remember I used to get chills when I got to this part: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." I thought it was beautiful, even though I didn't understand the full meaning of it all until I was older. Since I am only 25 - well 26 in 12 days (wow. time FLEW) I obviously was not alive in MLK's day, and don't truly understand the times and the struggles of the times, the tumultuousness that filled the United States, and I don't think anyone who didn't live through that can really understand what it was like. I listed to the words of Dr. King and I am so puzzled as to why people were scared of what he said - his words were so beautiful, so full of hope and determination. Listening to them today, I wonder what he would think if he were still alive today - or rather what he would think, were he to return, as I think his continued fight for equality would have made the nation a very different place. While I don't think MLK would be overjoyed to see some of the things that are happening in this country, I really think that he would not write us off as hopeless, not just yet. Why? Because I hear his words echoed in the words of another man, you know, that guy who keeps calling for change, telling us "Yes We Can." I'm not going to plug B-rock obnoxiously as I usually do, but I really think that 40 years later, we need to revisit the teaching of Martin Luther King. We need to read his words, we need to think about the things he said and the vision he had for this country...and I'm not talking about reading his speeches and saying "oh segregation? it's done, it's over, we're good now." I mean getting in there and reading his words and thinking about how far we still need to go, that we must, we must, we must change.
"With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day" MLK
"We know the battle ahead will be long. But always remember that, no matter what obstacles
stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. And they will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks and months to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." B-rock
Stepping off my soapbox now, the air up here is thin ;)
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Bridesmaid Duties
B today.
So as I have previously mentioned, I am a bridesmaid in my friend's June wedding. Though I will be one of 13, I still feel special and will be very excited and happy and proud to be standing alongside my friend as she marries her man.
Since there 13 of us, I decided, out of the blue, that I would take it upon myself to make a bridesmaid survival kit, since other typical bridesmaidly duties are being handled by the Man of Honor and the bride herself. If Africa taught me one thing, it was to carry your sh*t with you everywhere because you never know when you might get stuck in the mud and need to spend the night in the middle of the bush in your car and to expect the unexpected. Now supplies will be easy to come by in the urban jungle of New York City should someone need an emergency tampon or something, but why risk not being prepared - especially when there is delightful, delicious consumerism involved?!!
I have already chosen the kit. No prepackaged bridesmaid survival kit will do, not for me, I am a customizing woman, but I did look at all the kits on the market to steal ideas. Once I compiled a list of what I would need, I realized that I would need more than your average rubbermaid. I would need something large but transportable, with compartments and drawers. I found the perfect kit at AC Moore on Sunday, and waited to receive an email coupon from them before buying it - 50% off one item this week! I plan to get a couple things for it every week until it is full of goods that we might need...oh, and I WILL be taking it back home with me too, that is for sure. I'll want to have it for my bridesmaids too!
Now you may be asking yourself, "what the HELL is in a bridesmaid survival kit." My reply is "ha ha what isn't?" I plan to have the usual female necessities on hand, such as tampons and gum and mints and tissues. But then I'm going to take it to a whole other level and have super glue for broken heels, first aid products, dental floss, batteries, film, deodorant, mini sewing kit, safety pins, hairspray, earring backs, perfume, you name it. Obviously I won't have these in huge amounts, so if every bridesmaid needs a role of film, we're shit out of luck, but if I can bail that one gal out, my work will not have been in vain.
Those are my Bridesmaid duties.
I wonder if it's wedding-acceptable to carry your camera down the aisle....dang, I bet it's not...
So as I have previously mentioned, I am a bridesmaid in my friend's June wedding. Though I will be one of 13, I still feel special and will be very excited and happy and proud to be standing alongside my friend as she marries her man.
Since there 13 of us, I decided, out of the blue, that I would take it upon myself to make a bridesmaid survival kit, since other typical bridesmaidly duties are being handled by the Man of Honor and the bride herself. If Africa taught me one thing, it was to carry your sh*t with you everywhere because you never know when you might get stuck in the mud and need to spend the night in the middle of the bush in your car and to expect the unexpected. Now supplies will be easy to come by in the urban jungle of New York City should someone need an emergency tampon or something, but why risk not being prepared - especially when there is delightful, delicious consumerism involved?!!
I have already chosen the kit. No prepackaged bridesmaid survival kit will do, not for me, I am a customizing woman, but I did look at all the kits on the market to steal ideas. Once I compiled a list of what I would need, I realized that I would need more than your average rubbermaid. I would need something large but transportable, with compartments and drawers. I found the perfect kit at AC Moore on Sunday, and waited to receive an email coupon from them before buying it - 50% off one item this week! I plan to get a couple things for it every week until it is full of goods that we might need...oh, and I WILL be taking it back home with me too, that is for sure. I'll want to have it for my bridesmaids too!
Now you may be asking yourself, "what the HELL is in a bridesmaid survival kit." My reply is "ha ha what isn't?" I plan to have the usual female necessities on hand, such as tampons and gum and mints and tissues. But then I'm going to take it to a whole other level and have super glue for broken heels, first aid products, dental floss, batteries, film, deodorant, mini sewing kit, safety pins, hairspray, earring backs, perfume, you name it. Obviously I won't have these in huge amounts, so if every bridesmaid needs a role of film, we're shit out of luck, but if I can bail that one gal out, my work will not have been in vain.
Those are my Bridesmaid duties.
I wonder if it's wedding-acceptable to carry your camera down the aisle....dang, I bet it's not...
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Accepting Average
So I totally blew NaBloPoMo last November. I almost made it but didn't exactly sprint to the finish, so when word went out that '08 was going to be NaBloPoYr (National Blog Posting Year) I thought "Hell no, I can't post every day, not even going to try!" I am going to adopt the April theme though, which is letters. I'm going to take it on literally (hahahhaha) too, and go right through the 26 in the alphabet. GO ME.
So A.
I've been stressing a lot lately about a bunch of different crap, mostly school, though the general baseline of school stress makes me susceptible to all kinds of other stress and obsessing (like the wedding shower, or exactly what kinds of cake cones I will be taking to my friend's recital. I mean she doesn't care, I KNOW she doesn't, but I'm like "ooh yay, more obsessing fodder" sick). My friend EE called me the other day (to request the cake cones lol) and I told her that I needed some Xanax or something to talk me down from the ledge, because I am being obsessivecrazystressed. After offering me klonopin (half/maybe/almost/very seriously??) she started chatting about her upcoming recital and the preparation involved and how she's stressing as well. But then she gave me the most incredible advice, passing it on from her speech therapist lady (EE forgive me if she is not a speech therapist and I f*ck up her quote!) She basically said, in so many words, that people go into something expecting to be freaking brilliant king of the world or expecting total and complete failure, and all you really need to do is come out in the middle somewhere. Be average.
Holy. Crap.
That's all I needed to hear. I need to learn to accept average. I don't need to be the best at plant physiology, or at school, I need to be average, I just need to pass. I don't need to have summa cum laude on my degree, I just need that piece of paper saying I did the work. I don't need trumpets and flowers and little doves flying down to turn the tassel on my mortarboard, I just need to show up and get it down and walk away from Tufts and never look back. That's all.
Accept. Average.
So A.
I've been stressing a lot lately about a bunch of different crap, mostly school, though the general baseline of school stress makes me susceptible to all kinds of other stress and obsessing (like the wedding shower, or exactly what kinds of cake cones I will be taking to my friend's recital. I mean she doesn't care, I KNOW she doesn't, but I'm like "ooh yay, more obsessing fodder" sick). My friend EE called me the other day (to request the cake cones lol) and I told her that I needed some Xanax or something to talk me down from the ledge, because I am being obsessivecrazystressed. After offering me klonopin (half/maybe/almost/very seriously??) she started chatting about her upcoming recital and the preparation involved and how she's stressing as well. But then she gave me the most incredible advice, passing it on from her speech therapist lady (EE forgive me if she is not a speech therapist and I f*ck up her quote!) She basically said, in so many words, that people go into something expecting to be freaking brilliant king of the world or expecting total and complete failure, and all you really need to do is come out in the middle somewhere. Be average.
Holy. Crap.
That's all I needed to hear. I need to learn to accept average. I don't need to be the best at plant physiology, or at school, I need to be average, I just need to pass. I don't need to have summa cum laude on my degree, I just need that piece of paper saying I did the work. I don't need trumpets and flowers and little doves flying down to turn the tassel on my mortarboard, I just need to show up and get it down and walk away from Tufts and never look back. That's all.
Accept. Average.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Thinking
I keep thinking that I want to graduate so badly because I can't wait to reclaim a normal life. And maybe go to the gym once in a while. And definitely sew more...and knit more..and run...maybe a marathon? And of course, plan THE WEDDING.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Yes, Fish Slap Calm Me
So if you know me, you know I like to plan. Yeah, I may procrastinate when it comes to school work and stuff like that, but in terms of "events" I love planning. A friend recently reminded me of a brunch Ame and I had here about a year ago. "My God, it was so AMAZING" she wrote. I had forgotten about it a bit, and then thinking back I thought "Damn, that sh*t was amazing if I do say so" saved mostly by Amy's scrambled eggs after I ruined a dozen that I made by keeping them in the oven to warm while the boys looked for champagne. Seriously though, that brunch was planned to hell, as was our recent PartyLite party, about which the rep said "your party had the best food ever." Hee.
Basically I like to plan more than parties, so I am probably well-suited to be planning for a wedding, even if it is years away. In the past two days I've pretty much picked out a reception site that I looove (hopefully Jam will like it too! otherwise it'll be back to google lol) and have formulated a few other ideas. Planning makes me happy. Planning makes me feel secure. I LIKE PLANNING.
I have a friend getting married soon who is a planner as well, but I don't know if her planning has fallen by the wayside or if she is planning only for herself or WHAT but the planning seems distinctly crappy in this case. Her wedding is 80 or so days away and I have no idea what is going on, except that I'm in it. That's about it. Everything about it makes me uneasy, not because I don't think it will be a fabulous time, but because I'm worried about the day living up to the bride's expectations in light of the fact that no one seems organized. In desperation, I looked up her gift registries in hopes of pinning down a gift. I had visions of grandeur for a gift, an art print I had seen a few years ago, but it's out in Saratoga Springs, and with graduation (I hope) finals, a ribbon-cutting ceremony, another wedding and two christenings in my midst I don't envision making the trip out to Saratoga to fetch the gift (it's too large and fragile to be shipped) so I turn to Macy's, Crate & Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond for inspiration. I find a large ticket item on sale and potentially splittable, so I email two of my fellow friends and bridesmaids.
One emails me back and is like "this is great, but can we include more people, or plan for xyz."
I like, FREAK OUT my reply. FLIPPAGE. I'm like "this wedding is driving me crazy, it's unorganized, I only have three free weekends left between April, May and June, it's going to be expensive, the hotel is going to be costly, blah blah freaking out blah, and I just want to get ONE THING accomplished."
My friend then replied with an equivalent of the fish slap in 50 First Dates, seen at 2min20sec in the video below
She basically said that the wedding is THEIR day and if they EFF it up it's not our fault. It's no one's fault. They never asked for help, and there comes a point where you need to let go. We're totally stressed about school and money and our own lives. If she doesn't have a shower, she doesn't have one. If the bachelorette party is a slumber party the night before at the hotel, so it goes. It's out of our hands.
I don't know why I didn't think of that. I mean I guess I did because I always say to Jam "It's not my problem" but I was making it my problem. A big part of me was stressing because I want her day to be perfect for her own sake....but I'm not in charge of planning, so why the eff am I so obsessed?? I needed fish slap to make me calm clearly, LOL. I'm going to take my friend's advice and help if asked, but otherwise, sit back, chillax, and try to get through my own stuff....I really think that's the best thing I can do for me right now, too...summer school isn't exactly appealing!!
Basically I like to plan more than parties, so I am probably well-suited to be planning for a wedding, even if it is years away. In the past two days I've pretty much picked out a reception site that I looove (hopefully Jam will like it too! otherwise it'll be back to google lol) and have formulated a few other ideas. Planning makes me happy. Planning makes me feel secure. I LIKE PLANNING.
I have a friend getting married soon who is a planner as well, but I don't know if her planning has fallen by the wayside or if she is planning only for herself or WHAT but the planning seems distinctly crappy in this case. Her wedding is 80 or so days away and I have no idea what is going on, except that I'm in it. That's about it. Everything about it makes me uneasy, not because I don't think it will be a fabulous time, but because I'm worried about the day living up to the bride's expectations in light of the fact that no one seems organized. In desperation, I looked up her gift registries in hopes of pinning down a gift. I had visions of grandeur for a gift, an art print I had seen a few years ago, but it's out in Saratoga Springs, and with graduation (I hope) finals, a ribbon-cutting ceremony, another wedding and two christenings in my midst I don't envision making the trip out to Saratoga to fetch the gift (it's too large and fragile to be shipped) so I turn to Macy's, Crate & Barrel and Bed, Bath and Beyond for inspiration. I find a large ticket item on sale and potentially splittable, so I email two of my fellow friends and bridesmaids.
One emails me back and is like "this is great, but can we include more people, or plan for xyz."
I like, FREAK OUT my reply. FLIPPAGE. I'm like "this wedding is driving me crazy, it's unorganized, I only have three free weekends left between April, May and June, it's going to be expensive, the hotel is going to be costly, blah blah freaking out blah, and I just want to get ONE THING accomplished."
My friend then replied with an equivalent of the fish slap in 50 First Dates, seen at 2min20sec in the video below
She basically said that the wedding is THEIR day and if they EFF it up it's not our fault. It's no one's fault. They never asked for help, and there comes a point where you need to let go. We're totally stressed about school and money and our own lives. If she doesn't have a shower, she doesn't have one. If the bachelorette party is a slumber party the night before at the hotel, so it goes. It's out of our hands.
I don't know why I didn't think of that. I mean I guess I did because I always say to Jam "It's not my problem" but I was making it my problem. A big part of me was stressing because I want her day to be perfect for her own sake....but I'm not in charge of planning, so why the eff am I so obsessed?? I needed fish slap to make me calm clearly, LOL. I'm going to take my friend's advice and help if asked, but otherwise, sit back, chillax, and try to get through my own stuff....I really think that's the best thing I can do for me right now, too...summer school isn't exactly appealing!!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
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