Allison Wonderland

Hey Peeps

2011-12-28T15:10:00.000-05:00

I'm leaving blogger...
It's a little sad - I love my random blog full of MS Paint art, random photos, rants, etc
BUT
I feel like I need a fresh start...

SO.

I'll just be over at wordpress.
I'm finishing out some overdue wedding bloggery, then I'll be cleaning up the blog to take out the boring bits of wedding ranting....then....we're starting over in 2012 at jamaallison.wordpress.com

I'm excited! I'm hoping that the new space will be more interesting. A little less dull. SOMETHING BETTER!

Thank you for being a follower/reader/lurker
<3ALLISON

Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T10:28:00.000-05:00

My life doesn't revolve around my iPhone (this proven by the fact that I left it on the seat of my car in a MBTA parking lot one day this week). I don't own a Mac or an iPad. I never really thought about my iPhone or iPod on any emotional level.

But..Steve Jobs died yesterday..and the emotional tributes to him on everything from Design*Sponge to Nightline to I Love Charts got me thinking: how do I *feel* about my iPhone? Do I even have feelings about it?

Truth is I do. When it comes down to it, I love the thing. I will never.ever.ever go back to anything else. I rock an iPhone 3GS that I bought for $49 when the iPhone 4 came out. Did I think it would be a life-changing purchase. Not particularly. But has this piece of technology revolutionized the way I do things? Actually, yes. How?
Where do I even start?

My iPhone is my alarm clock, my meteorologist. When I'm away from home, I can get the score of the Patriots/Bruins/Celtic/Sox in the snap. My iPhone is my bird book, my GPS. It has my to do list, grocery list, countless photos. I have apps that tell me how far away my bus or train is, apps that count knitting rows for me, a kindle app that lets me read a book on the train when I've finished my library book and have nothing else to read (yes, library book, I am old-fashioned that way). I can play scrabble with friends, I can chuck angry birds at brick walls, I can take hipster picture, I have all of Shakespeare and the Louvre at the tips of my fingers. I have coupons, TV Guide, my library network, all on my phone. I could seriously go on and on and on.

Yeah, I know Steve Jobs didn't create any of these apps himself. But he envisioned and created the mechanism that delivered these things to our fingertips, and for that, I am so grateful. Sure, life was "simpler" before the iPhone, but for me, even though having that kind of accessibility makes things complicated sometimes, life is definitely better with it. Thank you.

Still Here!

2011-09-27T15:40:00.000-05:00

I am still here!

Work is crazy!
Life is crazy!

There is noooo timmmmme!

Well there is time. Just not blogging time.

In a couple weeks we are celebrating our anniversary by heading out to Seattle:

Seattle!!

When I told my boss she said "You'll love Seattle. Oh, but don't look for Seattle Grace. It's not real."

Me: -_-

-_-

Her: What?!

Me: I KNOW IT'S NOT REAL!!!!!!!!

Seattle Grace: Sexy, but not real.

So yes, we are just a few weeks away from our Seattle sojourn (oooh alliteration) - why'd we choose Seattle? Well we're visiting a Smith friend, Jam has always wanted to go to Seattle, and we want to have an anniversary dinner at the top of the Space Needle. It's not the fanciest anniversary trip, but we CAN'T WAIT to get away and are grateful to be going on a vacation at all :) yay!

Besides, we're saving up for next year. For our second anniversary and 30 and 35th birthdays and our big "pre-kids" trip we're really trying to plan a trip to:

link

Photo Dump

2011-08-08T12:01:00.000-05:00

Anyone read Kelle Hampton's blog "Enjoying the Small Things"? It's lovely, it really is. Check it out.

Anyways, Kelle does this "Friday Phone Dump" thing - I'm assuming it's when she downloads all the photos off her phone camera. I saw her's today and thought "wow, that's a great idea! I'm gonna try that too!" Hmm. 349 photos/videos on my phone. WOW, how did that happen? I haven't even had my iphone for 6 months and I've managed to fill it with that much *stuff*?!

Most of it is random junk that I'll hide away on my external hard drive for posterity, but there were a few interesting bits and pieces:

Colonial Sampler from the MFA's Needlework exhibit

The new Art of the America's wing

Parrot Cake Pops

Lily needs MamaBird love

Hipstamatic print of a winter sunset

Nobska Light, Falmouth

Ridiculously good sushi special at Asian C

Crossing some bridge in NY

Apple Tree in front of the John Adams birthplace

Jam in Newport

Cloudpocalypse in Quincy

Me, my cousin and my sis finish a 5K

My Church Fair Clivia blooms!

Berry Trifle for 4th of July

I Tiny Planet-ed Fenway

Me and Jam kayak Hingham Harbor

The first morning glories!

Chihuly at the MFA

Boston from Granite Links Golf Course

The awesome epic craft box I made my MIL

Slightly creepy pic of me on Jam's bday

Flyyy-yyy-yyy-yyy-yy-yy pic of the Jamonster, while boating on Lake Winnipesaukee (and trying desperately to beat the weather home, which we did!)

OK so Operation Photo Dump was pretty fun - lots of good memories were stuck in that iPhone and I'm glad they're free. Thinks it's definitely time to delete and make room for more.

Some Pretty

2011-07-25T11:03:00.000-05:00

Some day I'll post about the 'Great Balcony Redo.'

For now, here's a shot I took this morning with my phone. My morning glories aren't as big as they should be - this might be for many reasons - but what they lack in diameter they make up for in color - it's saturated and bright and cheerful. I love it!

New Job

2011-07-12T10:44:00.000-05:00

So I'm seriously considering looking for a new job. That's not really a secret.

HERRRRE's the secret:

Sometimes I say things to my boss that I know will horrify her, just because I like the reaction.

Isn't that terrible?

Today I told her I was turning my wedding dress into a cocktail dress (which is probably going to happen) but I brought it up because every time I say it, she gasps and puts her hand over her heart.

*evil grin*

She recently told me that when I had kids, I would never go on vacation again because I wouldn't be able to tear myself away from them. I told her that I wasn't sure that was true. She said "It is, just wait, you won't be able to leave your child. Plus you're so type A, you'll need everything in your control." I told her that people who can't leave their kids to have a healthy "adult" vacation with their girlfriends/spouse/partner/alone have "something wrong with them." Which I think is semi-true (but that's not the point). Again, GASP! Hand on heart! Horror, oh the horror!!

It's moments like this that I almost want to stay so I can run circles around this woman....but then again, when she does things like breeze into my office only to sit down and whip out a nail file to file her creepy long nails, I have second thoughts....

The Great Pantry Re-Do

2011-06-21T09:50:00.000-05:00

When it came time to find an apartment, Jam and I set out together one July weekend determined to make a decision as soon as possible. We were shown three of the most god-awful places I've ever seen...EVER. I returned home somewhat discouraged that a place I had seen on Craigslist that was almost perfect, had disappeared. Three days later, the "realtor" (I say that in quotes because the whole deal was SHADY!) we were working with called and asked me to look at a place. Jam was in NYC, so I brought my sister along. It was THE apartment from Craigslist! I only had to walk a few steps into the apartment to know it was indeed perfect. Spacious, filled with light, with a built-in china cabinet AND a pantry. Bliss. I put a deposit down, my sister loaded a video she recorded on YouTube for Jam's review, and a few days after that, I signed the lease.

The pantry is one of the best things about the apartment, and I claimed half of it as my craft space. I know, I know, that was pushy. Luckily Jam was cool with it. My crafty things were the first things moved and unpacked, partially because I needed so many of my craft supplies for my DIY wedding project, and partly because I have so much ~~crap~~ stuff.

this was just the beginning....

Once Jam had made the move north, we devoted the second half of the pantry to food and food-related things like a panini press, Foreman grill and my beloved red mixer. Fast forward about six months. In that space of time we had a wedding, a honeymoon, continued to open boxes of wedding gifts, ordered furniture, got trapped coming home from San Diego, got snowed in more than once, had a Christmas party, had friends over...needless to say, pantry organization wasn't exactly at the top of my priority list. One day in March I realized that our pantry had fallen into disarray and disgrace. Tragic:

Cords dangled from appliances, pans were stacked haphazardly. Baking supplies and boxes of rice intermingled, vinegar and ziploc bags shared the same shelf. An old bottle of wine hid, spoiling, behind my mixer. Open bags of m and m's and pretzels lingered for months on the bottom shelf. Recipes we printed off the computer lay in an ignored pile. My Christmas amaryllis sagged in front of the window. The longer I looked, the closer I came to point break, point meltdown. I decided that the pantry needed an overhaul.

I turned to the Container Store. I set a budget. I went to work. I sketched and resketched the pantry, I heavily stalked home improvement and decor blogs (Apartment Therapy, Design*Sponge in particular), and I made a wish list on the Container Store's website - this way I could ensure that I'd stay within my budget when I went to the store (unless I got excited and bought random things I didn't need, but I was VERY focused!) I actually took a vacation day from work to tackle this project - I dropped Jam at the airport for one of his business trips, hopped on the Mass Pike westbound and sped out to the Container Store in Natick, where I had made sure all my wish list products were in stock (gotta love the Container Store's website).

It took an entire day to organize the pantry. And while the improvements were vast, I don't think I'm quite done (having sat with the new and improved pantry for 3 months, I now know it's weakest points and know it's almost time for an update), but oh, it is SO MUCH easier to find things, use things, and I can look at my pantry without having a mental breakdown. Remember the before? The horrible, horrible before:

Get ready....

Because....

OK you really ready?

Here's the after:

Better, right??!!!

Because this took me a whole day, I finished waaay after sunset, so sadly, the lighting in these photos isn't exactly the greatest, but here are some more shots.

I finally put to use the mason jars left over from the wedding. They've since been labeled (my dumb p-touch had dead batteries the night of the pantry re-do!)

An additional 2-tier rack and two single spinning racks wrangled my spices, baking supplies (food coloring, sprinkles) as well as things like vinegar and soy sauce.

On the top shelf, a pot lid rack wrangled our interchangeable Foreman grill racks. On the third shelf a "kitchen wrap" organizer put our ziploc bags, saran, wax paper, parcment, etc in order. The second shelf features some amazing pop-top oxo storage bins a friend gave us (oh to replace all my bins with these amazing oxo ones!), and a drop-down can rack does double duty not only organizing our canned goods, but also storing boxes of rice. Finally, I bought a small wine rack for the bottom shelf, and a mesh shelf for trashbags and boxes of sandwich bags - things we were always reaching for but could never quickly or easily find!

Also on the bottom shelf - I moved my mixer and bulk dry goods (which were heavy) down so I wouldn't have to pull them off the shelf. The basket is holding cookie cutters and other baking tools.

Even the craft side of things got a redo and tidy - not too shabby!

Though I was psyched at the outcome, there are still some things that need to be done. I still need to organize the cabinets below the shelves, purge some of my craft supplies, and tackle some of the things I didn't mention here (cough cough very top shelf of pantry cough), and I do need to help husbando finish the floor. I think this was an excellent start to my organizing endeavors though! Eek, I'm actually inspired to re-tackle the pantry and a couple other organization projects (husband's office). Stay tuned - more DIY projects might be on their way :)

Vent

2011-06-20T09:16:00.001-05:00

I just need to vent for the quickest second: while I love social networking for the fact that it can reconnect you with old friends from across the globe and help you keep in touch with family far and near, it DOES NOT mean you know ANYTHING about the stuff going on in anyone's life, even your close friends' lives. ~~Especially if you don't have an account and stalk people through other people's accounts :( nothing beats picking up the phone, or better yet, finding time to hang out.~~ And if you're reading this blog, no worries, this doesn't apply to any of you :) I just found myself in a really crap situation this weekend. Actually, it made me want to delete my account so people would be forced to actually converse with me, but if I deleted my facebook account, how could I stalk random people from college and high school? ha ha ha. The account lives on, but I just might be using it a little less, and hopefully it will send the right people a message of sorts. ~~Or not. Argh.~~ eta: Facebook issues solved for the moment...

Enough venting.

This weekend I went to a local park to try and jog a 5K...I think I should specify here. I know I can jog a 5k, and actually ran 3.2 miles in 35 minutes just the other day, but I wanted to jog this park because it was woodsy, near the ocean/river, and it had a 3+ mile looping trail so I wouldn't get bored or have to jog in circles. I bought a big ol' gatorade to carry with me and headed out. Problem 1: the gatorade was heavy and about five minutes into my run it felt like a 15 lb dumbbell. Problem 2: I went running at 11:30 without a hat or sunscreen. Problem 3: the park where I wanted to run has become mostly a dog park. I felt like an adult at the playground without a kid...creepy. Dog owners glanced at me out of the corner of their eyes or over the tops of their designer sunglasses like I was some sort of dog-napper or dogless voyeur come to stare longingly at their precious little puppykins. It was WEIRD! I saw one other runner (she had a dog) and one other dogless person (who actually creeped ME out) and my run turned into a pathetic run-walk as I lugged the gatorade around a seemingly endless system of paved trails. At one point I thought I was lost and started to wonder if I'd make it out of there alive. I did. I was soaked in sweat (more dirty looks...apparently the people in the ritzy town in which the park is located do NOT sweat) and was grateful I brought a fresh t-shirt to change into. I actually think I'll head to the park again at some point, though probably on my bike. Or with a dog. ha.

After that I went to Lowe's to continue to balcony improvement project. The feisty squirrels in my yard are determined to destroy my planting efforts. They will not win!! I will find a way to deter them! I will also put some pictures up of the improvements...you know, for the 2 people still reading this blog. Ha.

Sweet Victory

2011-06-16T13:56:00.000-05:00

AP Photo/Julie Jacobson

Last night we watched the Bruins win the Stanley Cup in Game 7 - GLORIOUS GLORIOUS GLORIOUSNESS! I was especially happy for my die-hard hockey fan grandparents. They never miss a game (thus being far more dedicated hockey fans than me!) and I know they must've been on the edge of their seats for all seven games!! I'm especially happy for Tim Thomas (above) our stoic, steadfast goalie. Yeah B's!

As for the rioting that followed in Vancouver - it's sad to see. Apparently many Canadians are as embarrassed and ashamed of it as I was appalled and shocked (Vancouver! Such a world class city! What the heck!). Boston had its own set of shenanigans (why to drunken men try to flip cars, WHY?) but unfortunately, Boston has learned how to deal with this kind of behavior the hard way, and from what I hear, the police presence was heavy and came down hard on anyone misbehaving. It's sad a few rotten people spoil everyone's fun, but here's to the B's win and to a safe and happy victory parade on Saturday! Go Bruins!

Wow....No really, WOW!

2011-06-15T19:44:00.001-05:00

I get these daily emails from Whole Living. They include a "challenge" for the day. Sometimes I ignore and delete them, sometimes I read them and think "yeah ok. whatever" and then delete them, but sometimes, like today, I actually read the email, "accept" the challenge, and delve deeper into the who/what/why of the challenge.

Today's challenge was "Get Motivated," and the email urged everyone to think of a task they'd been spending time dreading and re-work the thought process around that task, "focusing on the end result" so that it "fed" us instead of "drained" us. Hmm sounded like good advice, plus there's always something on my plate I'm dreading.

By accepting that challenge, I can across a list of 11 Common Stress Triggers. I've been coming home from work stressy and mad lately. I feel overwhelmed....or underwhelmed. I wondered if I had any of these "common" stress triggers. The list looked like this:

1. Money Issues
2. A Job That Never Ends (meaning you're working 24/7 because of iphones, blackberries, laptops, etc).
3. A Job You Don't Like
4. Your Relationship
5. Constant Caregiving
6. Holiday Pressures
7. Taking on Too Much
8. Not Enough Quality Time
9. Striving to be Perfect (HA!)
10. A Lack of Passion
11. Disorganized Clutter

Sigh. I feel as though 8 of these 11 things are a significant factor in my life. And trust me, I'm grateful for the three that are not, especially the "constant caregiving" one, but seriously? It's time to get life in order! I think just knowing that these things are causing unnecessary stress in my life will help me move forward.

Blah blah blah me me me.

Moving on :)

I finished Craft Hope projects 12 and 13. YAY!

First up, I made 27 bracelets for Russian Orphans:
Here are the "big girl" sizes (taken with the wicked clevah Hipstamatic app)

I loved making these - the beads brought me right back to early 90's Girl Scout camp and I admit, I kinda wanted to rock a bracelet for myself...but no! these are for the orphans! And though I joke, the orphan situation in Russia is nothing short of tragic. This is from Craft Hope's website, facts and figures via Orphan Outreach:

There are more than 143 million orphans around the world. The majority don’t live in orphanages, they live in communities. They live in extreme poverty and many are homeless.”

One hundred and forty three million. 143 million. Can you comprehend this number? Staggering. Mind boggling. Overwhelming.

I read this information, along with other countless figures, from the warmth of my own home. A safe place that I have created for my own children. With love bursting at the seams. And I became overwhelmingly grateful for all that I have and am able to provide.

A few more statistics that will stop you in your tracks…

Every day 5,760 more children become orphans.
Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but…
Every year 14,050,000 children still grow up as orphans and AGE OUT of the system.
More than 1 million orphans are waiting for a home in Russia.
In Russia, 60% of girl orphans become prostitutes and 70% of male orphans become hardened criminals.

Kids don’t get to pick their parents. They don’t get to pick what their upbringing will be like. They have no choices. We can’t change this, but we can help. We can share a little love from across the globe.

A little about Russia — When the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, it’s shaky orphan-care system also fell. Alcohol consumption increased 10 times the U.S. level. The instances of divorce also climbed, along with the HIV-infection rate, which is now one of the highest in the world. And, according to a 2007 UNICEF report, the annual number of children without parental care in Russian ‘has more than doubled over the last 10 years, despite falling birth rates.’ Currently, there are over 750,000 children in the orphanage system and hundreds of thousands more living in the streets.

Yeah. Kinda of makes my BS about "life stress" seem pretty insignificant, huh?

As a kid, ok, even as an adult, I have pieces of jewelry that I wear that mean something. I have a necklace I bought in Kenya on my 21st birthday that just makes me *HAPPY* when I wear it. I have several necklaces my sister made for me. I have a necklace a friend had made for me for a birthday gift. I have things my husband gave me, things from my parents, things from my grandparents, a string of fake pearls that my father's mother had amongst her limited possessions when she passed away. These things MEAN something when I wear them. My hope for all the Craft Hope bracelets sent to Russia is that a kid will wear them, look at it and know that someone out there made them that bracelet because they care.

For Craft Hope 13, my overwhelming desire to "DO SOMETHING!" was fulfilled - the mission of 13 was blankets for tornado survivors. Ironically enough, Massachusetts was hit with a round of tornadoes while I was working on these quilts. They were not particularly close to where I live (about 2 hours away, around the area where I attended college, so I consider it "close" but it wasn't geographically), but we got the aftermath of the storms in my city, with lightning, thunder, powerful winds. It was mildly scary. I looked out the window and thought "now multiply this scary times about a million, and that's what you were dealing with in places like Tuscaloosa and Joplin." Damn. I hope I never see anything like that.

Making the quilt tops for each of these was a breeze - I decided to go with big squares and raided my fabric stash for suitable options. I had hoarded sufficiently large bits of fabric from baby quilts and other projects past, so I knew I could make at least two quilt tops. Sewing them brought back such fond memories, as some of the pieces were inherited from my mother. The center of the "pink quilt" was actually fabric from a dress my mother sewed for my sister! The problem came much later when I chose to back the quilts with fleece. It thought making something warm and snuggly would be nice, and if I went with fleece, I wouldn't have to do the whole "quilt sandwich" thing with batting in the middle.

BIG MISTAKE.

Fleece is, previously unbeknownst to me, stretchy. For some reason I didn't pick up on the stretchy-ness when I was laying out quilt pieces, or even sewing the first side of the quilt back to the top. No, the realization came later, when I tried to finish the final sides and the seams didn't match or the fleece was bunched up weird. Oh the frustration! I was flipping out. When I finished the seams, everything seemed off-kilter. As I hand-sewed the final piece, I noticed how cozy the quilt's fleecy back was "At least this will keep someone warm"...and with that, I gave myself a mental dope-slap (at least that's what my dad would call it!) - "this a homemade WARM quilt that you are making for a stranger who has lost EVERYTHING," I told myself, "the last thing they are going to be worrying about is your stupid stupid stretchy fleece or your wonky seams." I told someone that I was all worried about the seams and she laughed in my face. I totally deserved it too :)

So with that, I packed everything up and sent the quilts and bracelets off to their respective destinations. May they warms souls, brighten days, and let people know that they're in other's thoughts and hearts.

To Do

2011-06-09T08:32:00.000-05:00

What I have to do today: truck through a huge QA report, figure out the status of my project, get ready for a conference call next week, map out summer plans, plan meals and plan the snack I have to make for a church thing, go grocery shopping, do laundry.

What I want to do today: play on Etsy (it's pay day, the one day each week where I feel wealthy, like I have money to burn), buy a new umbrella at the hospital gift shop, laze about, read, go swimming.

I might get to do both, but it seems unlikely!

The good news? I feel a little more inspiration coming on. I've been so "blah" lately in the inspired category. Maybe it's because we finally got out of this rain/crap weather rut, got to throw open the windows and have a steady breeze flowing through the apartment (accompanied by a steady stream of bugs - our screens are not as open-window-worthy as I thought...). I feel ready to tackle projects...but for some reason, not laundry. Hmmm.

The Good, The Bad

2011-05-31T09:58:00.000-05:00

We spent a wonderful weekend with friends in Newport.
Though there are countless historic buildings and MANSIONS to explore, beaches to lazily lay upon and lots of places to explore, we ate and drank and talked. That's it. Gah, it was fabulous, even though my liver is still recovering, even though at 1:30AM on Sunday morning I stubbed my toe and split the tip open (Sailor Jerry dulled the pain). The fresh seafood, amazing Mexican fare, Blues club, caipirhinas, margaritas, spiced rum, purse dog and people-watching compensated for that all, nevermind the mostly-hilarious conversations we had.

The bad part is that the weekend flew by far too fast. Other cons? The group that we hung with this weekend was so fab and drama-free and CHILL that it makes going back to work that much harder. Argh! I'm so not in the mood to deal with work and people's problems!

Because I'm an optimist, I guess I should being playing up the four-day work week in my head, the fact that Jam and I discovered a cute park a short drive from home that's right on the ocean and full of birds and well-maintained trails, and the fact that this weekend we are busting out the kayaks....

So here we are. Tuesday half-down. Three and a half days to go until the weekend! Bring it.

Weather Pattern

2011-05-19T14:26:00.000-05:00

It started raining on Saturday, May 14th. It hasn't stopped, and won't stop until at least Friday. It has also been a little bit chilly. Yes, I am a fairly hardy New Englander, but mid-May normally marks the beginning of the "Great Clothes Migration" (you know, the switching of winter to summer clothes) and I was not happy about dragging out my fleece-lined faux suede boots for this morning's commute. OK. I lie. I lie because I love those boots so much I've worn out the heels, so I was happy about putting them on, but annoyed that the weather called for warm boots this morning....but I digress, I digress.

There are some bad things about all this rain. One is that Jam and I awoke at 1:30am on Monday to a persistent "tap....tap....tap....tap..." I rolled over and pretended like the noise was just big fat raindrops hitting our window AC unit. Jam SPRUNG out of bed (sprung as in, FLUNG the covers back dramatically and LEAPED out of bed) and then committed the cardinal sin of all late-night rousings: he turned on the overhead bedroom light (note: when you must get up in the middle of the night and require light, you should use 1. small lamp at bedside, 2. headlamp 3. flashlight or 4. cell phone so as not to wake your bed partner. I'm just SAYIN'). He loudly exclaimed "*expletive* the ceiling is leaking." I played dumb - "really? the ceiling?!" and let him take care of it. Usually I discover the ceiling leak in the morning when I get up to take a shower and step in a puddle that has managed to run down the floor towards the wall and closet (our floors are crooked), and I'm left responsible for bucket-wrangling and clean-up, so I let Jam handle this late-night discovery. So there's that thing.

Another thing is the complete lack of motivation and energy which I choose to blame completely on the weather. This is why I gain "winter weight" every year. I look out the window and see rain/snow/fog/darkness/wet pavement and decide to "exercise" inside, which usually turns into flopping on the couch. This week I've lifted weights and done a Jillian Michaels ab routine, but beyond that, I have been sloth-like.

The constant rain makes the work day draaag. There's no glorious sunshine to escape to, to work towards. Instead I just sit at my computer, bored, sluggishly making my way through a to do list. I don't really care whether or not I complete it because waaahhh wahhhhhhhhhh all I have to look forward to is trudging through the rain.

There are, however, a few perks to the rainy stretch we've been having....

The damp chill is a great excuse to cook comfort food for dinner! We had mini-meatloaves on Monday, shrimp cakes on Tuesday, and a big ol' bowl of spinach pesto chicken pasta last night. The rain is a great excuse to snuggle up together with mugs of tea and watch Netflix movies (though we ventured out to see 'Bridesmaids' which was raunchy but HILARIOUS), bake cookies, nestle in big blankets....I mean, it's not ALL bad...it's just that it's been 6 days now, and I really want to see the sun again.

Despite my sloth-like pace at all tasks these days, I did plan for some major crafty time when I saw the extended forecast last week. I managed to visit two of my favorite yarn shops, Windsor Button in Boston and Patternworks in Center Harbor, NH just a few days apart, and between the two shops, I gathered some fabulous yarn to make several sweet baby projects. I finished a "Baby Sophisticate" sweater in just 4 days:

this one isn't mine, though the colors are the same. I took this pic from Camping Jason's flickr photostream

Since I flew through that sweater, I decided to start two projects at once, an owl hat:

this is from the designer's site. how cute is that baby?!

And another Golden Rose Sundress. I knit this one for my friend's daughter Alexa forever ago:

A friend from high school had a baby girl in February, saw the old picture of Alexa's dress on facebook and offered to buy one off me. I felt funny about it. Yeah, I think I'd totally do custom orders for cashmoney some day, but 1. I'm so not ready for that kind of pressure and 2. this girl was a buddy from the XC team, and we were a tight bunch. I'm not about to charge her for a little sundress!

I think I'll throw in a matching bonnet too, like this one I made for Alexa:

Oh and before I forget, the owl hat and sophisticate sweater are going to the same expecting mama. I can't make it to her baby shower, so I want to send something especially nice. Since her theme is "owls" (and I can hardly resist owls, including this one living near my house:

)

I bought some owlie fabric on etsy. I mean to make her (or rather, her expected baby, a little boy) a quilt with this cross stitch design in the middle:

which I snagged on ABC Stitch's website. I mean, I LOVE this little cross stitch thing - even though normally I'd gag at something that said "Mommy's Little Prince," I thought this was pretty tasteful and would appeal to the mom-to-be. I imagined subtle blue prints that played off the color scheme in the stitching making up the quilt blocks. But....then I started thinking about the owls... and found this on etsy and suddenly the whole elegant and subtle quilt idea went out the window. Of course I obsessed about whether or not the fabric would match the room decor, but I quickly found a solution. Instead of making a crib quilt, I plan on fashioning a stroller quilt. I stumbled upon this brilliant-ness while googling away, and the pattern is free on flickr. This blogger posted a picture of the one she made:

Towards the top of the quilt are two pieces of twill tape sewn into the binding. This allows you to tie the quilt to your stroller frame. The buttons on the bottom half allow the quilt to be folded and buttoned up out of the way, so the quilt isn't dragging on the ground. How frickin' brilliant is that?!

So after I get all that done, I plan on making one last gift. Jam's former coworker has had two kids, and both times she was pregnant I told her I'd make something for her baby...and it so didn't happen. With her first, I was just disorganized, in grad school, all that stuff. Her second was born last August, while I was in the throes of wedding planning. This time around, she's having another girl, and in August. I have to make something really sweet to make up for my slacking. The designers at Pickles have made The Most Ridiculously Cute Baby Dress Ever. Yes, it's so cute it needs an official title with caps. Ladies, cross your legs, cause if you didn't want to have a baby girl RIGHT NOW you will when you see this pic:

SERIOUSLY cute. I love the dress and little booties, and the bonnet is to die for! I will, of course, include leggings and a long sleeved shirt in the gift box so baby can wear this outfit into the fall. Gah. Then I'll have to resist making one and stashing it for my non-existent girl child.

After I get through all this stuff - which might not take too long if the weather patterns continues - I am taking a gift-crafting hiatus. I hate to do it, but I can't commit myself to making new gifts for anyone until I finish up what I owe. I actually have shawls for my bridesmaids that I never finished knitting. Oh the shame :(. Luckily I have an idea for that, so it's not a total disaster. I have quilts I owe, knitted stuff I owe, a stash that could really use some reducing, plus some things I want to make for myself. Oh yeah, plus the Craft Hope stuff I committed to. Maybe after all THAT I'll start taking custom orders.

Happy crafting!

Drumlin Farm

2011-05-17T10:38:00.000-05:00

In my quest to be greener and more "local" (more on this later), I signed us up for a Mass Audubon membership - before we were even married at that. Of course with wedding stuff and then the more hideous than normal New England winter, we didn't get around to taking advantage of the sanctuaries for months. For most of the winter, I fantasized about taking Jamaal to the places I loved as a kid, particularly the Trailside Museum and Drumlin Farm.

In early April, I had to put 150 miles on my car (another story altogether) so I tried to think of a place kinda far away, but not TOO far because my car didn't have a valid inspection sticker on it, that would allow us to get outside and enjoy the fresh air. Why not Drumlin Farm? Since we didn't have anything else to do, we piled in the Subaru, expired inspection sticker/check engine light on/busted catalytic converter and all, and headed to Lincoln, located in one of my favorite areas of Massachusetts.

I promised Jam that he'd get a chance to see some of the flora and fauna of New England up close. Of course something you thought was HUGE as a kid always seems smaller as an adult. I seemed to remember aviary after aviary of birds that were unable to return to the wild, but in actuality, there were about five. Nevertheless, the birds were absolutely beautiful. It's so nice to see an organization caring for wildlife that cannot live on its own.

This pheasant was clucking away at the bottom of its aviary.

Love the intensity of this red-tailed hawk's stare

Great-Horned Owl - I think she's missing an eye, not actually winking

We took a stroll through the chicken coop - I liked this chicken in particular

How cool is this mobile coop? The chickens are wheeled to different parts of the farm each day.

It was lambing season at the farm. Glorious. This little Romney was playing with the other lambs and munching hay. awrr.

Yeah, even though it was April 2nd, there was snow on the ground. Ugh.

We decided to take the least-muddy path we could find - turned out to be a path around the fields. We walked for a bit, and decided to turn back to walk near a stream....which is when we saw BLUEBIRDS!!!

Yes, I've seen bluebirds before, but I've never seen an Eastern Bluebird this close - plus there were three, PLUS they didn't seem to mind us watching them do their thing.

Then this one came closer and closer...sat on a branch, and then let me come closer and closer. It was glorious!

YAY!!! I love Drumlin Farm as it is, but this made the trip positively wonderful. Even Jam, who respects my bird-nerd-ness but tends to get less excited about bird sightings, was impressed by this gorgeous bluebird. He kept saying "it's SO blue!"

It was so nice to be able to escape the confines of our apartment for a few hours and get some fresh air. Though we need to make an effort to hit up other Audubon sanctuaries in Mass, I'm guessing that we'll be making several repeat visits to Drumlin, especially when the trails dry out and we can take a nice loooong walk. I just noticed that they're having a "pick-your-own strawberry day" the third weekend in June. Think I've got that repeat visit scheduled....

Homemade Comfort

2011-05-10T09:44:00.000-05:00

Because they're awesome, Craft Hope has found a way to help tornado victims. I'm so excited!

I'll still finish bracelets for Project 12, but I can't express the level of happiness I felt when I read about Project 13 today. Finally, the quilt I started has a reason to be finished! Plus this will be a great opportunity to pull together some smaller quilts using the fabric scraps I have in my pantry. I can't think of a more worthy cause!

In the meantime, I'm trying to get myself together. I'll be the first to admit it - I've really been struggling at work lately. I've come to the realization that it's time to look for a new job. It makes me sad in a way because I actually love SOME of what I do...but that 'some' has become a smaller and smaller percentage of what makes up my job as a whole, and as that percentage gets smaller, my job satisfaction decreases. It's also sad because I actually love the hospital for which I work. It is one of the finest specialty hospitals in the entire country. The work we are doing is good and sometimes even revolutionary. Our patients are treated with kindness and care by both physicians, nurses, and staff. I love that, and those are the things I wrestled with before coming to my decision to look for something new. What did help me get to that decision were a series of lousy things coworkers have done in the past couple of weeks. It's too petty to get into, but they were lousy on the coworker level (e.g. ideas getting shot down before I could even effectively pitch them) and on the personal level (e.g. let's invite everyone to a coworker's baby shower, to lunch, etc and purposefully leave out me and my officemate). I was sitting in my office and thought "I really do not have to take this anymore." I don't know where I'll end up, and I might not even move on from the job I have now, but if I don't I have to make certain changes that will make my work life more pleasant, and that's something I'm focusing on right now. In a way, it's good to have to come to terms with certain things I've pushed aside for the six years I've worked here.

In other news, it's kayaking time, gardening time, crafting time, spring cleaning time, graduation time...and maybe even vacation time. The rest of spring and summer lie in wait ahead of me. It's hard not to be optimistic.

Adams Birthplace - taken with my iPhone at a red light :)

Balcony Garden

2011-05-05T13:52:00.000-05:00

I was a little nervous about moving to an apartment. At my parent's house, I had a few square feet of garden to attend to here and there. My mother was nice enough to give me a space for some of the things I had collected from landscaping clients over the years, including trillium, corydalis, hellebore, jack-in-the-pulpit, bloodroot, and even a kousa dogwood tree. I loved my mini gardens, and I loved helping my mother tend her large patches of garden.

My garden - ok, not so mini...

A fraction of my mother's garden.

When we settled on the apartment we're in now, outdoor space hardly factored into it. We had seen the dumpiest of dumpiest places, including an apartment with construction debris and black water filling the bathtub and staining the bathroom tiles. "Oh that'll be....cleaned up, or fixed...or whatever" the realtor assured us. UM. WHAT?

When we were shown the place we're in now - or rather, when my sister and I saw it, as Jam was in NYC and had to give his approval via YouTube - it was the spacious rooms, high ceilings, built-in details, driveway and neighborhood that sold me on the apartment. It's an apartment, not our forever home, and the apartment was glorious compared to the pieces of crap we had been shown. Bonus, it has about a 12x3 balcony, but at that point I could not have cared less about outdoor space.

Commence long and snowy and cold New England winter during which I become hermit-like, only venturing outside to go to work, shovel, or get groceries.

Now it's spring, and I'm ready for a little beautifyin', a little gardening. What could I do with my decrepit little balcony? Lucky for me, there's only about a zillion small-space gardening resources in print and on the interwebs! Hooray! The hard part will be narrowing down what I want. Here's some inspiration I found online:

via apartment therapy - I loved this because it addresses a narrow space, similar to what we have. I think the key thing to take away from this photo is that this balcony is not overloaded with furniture. Right now we have a metal table on our balcony. I'd like to keep it (and cover it, yuck) and 5 plastic chairs and one weird folding chair. I'd like to keep the plastic chairs for guests, but I think the spares can go in the basement or stack in a corner when we're not using them.

also via apartment therapy - again, loving the narrow space and the table cloth is fab. It's a little too much pink for me though...

from bzesty, a deck garden featuring potted plants. Everything I am planting will be confined to a pot, but look how much you can do with a group of different sized plants and pots!

from flickr - I like knowing this is someone's "real" space - not that the others aren't, but what is more real than someone's personal photos from flickr? Wish I had a kitty to enjoy the deck as well. I think this is probably the best representation of what our balcony will look like, with the plants pushed around the edges.

Just pretty - found here.

Awesome bird bath idea for a small space from life on the balcony. I seem to be able to attract only house sparrows and starlings despite seeing a huge selection of birds in the yard next door - including tufted titmice, chickadees, mockingbirds, blue jays and carolina wrens, and the yards on the surrounding streets where I've seen all of those birds, plus nuthatches, house finches, downy woodpeckers and flickers, AND the presence of a nearby park which hosts even more interesting things like catbirds, house wrens and towhees. I'm hoping a water feature will lure something interesting to my balcony. If not, I know the starling that has learned to mimic my parakeet will enjoy it:

he's on the corner of the deck, singing away....

finally, a morning glory screen found here. We don't have fantabulous balcony views, but the one that faces a neighbor's broken down garage is particularly gross. I've already incorporated this idea into the garden plan and started some Heavenly Blue and Scarlett O'Hara morning glory seeds.

Below is a little mock-up I made of our balcony. It's not to scale. At all.

The blue rectangle represents the morning glory screen I'm planning on planting. Green circles are planters. I have a "love tree" - a dwarf pine from our wedding - planted in one, and I think that will end up in the corner. The other two I'm hoping to plant with semi-shade tolerant plants, but the beauty of container gardening is that if anything gets leggy or pale from lack of sun, I'll drag it to the front of the balcony. The blue square is the bird bath I'm planning on, and the pink circles are hanging baskets I'd like to pull together, preferably fuchsia or bright plants that will attract hummingbirds to my feeder, which is represented by the red circle. The long pink rectangle represents planters that will hold sweet peas, herbs and lettuce if I can get my seeds to germinate, and green rectangles will be deck planters. I'd like these to be bright - since the deck faces southeast approximately I think the planters would flourish. Eek! So exciting to plan. Hopefully I'll have an update as soon as I get everything organized outside...oh and it warms up a bit. More later!

Realization

2011-05-04T15:01:00.000-05:00

As funny as that scene in the car is (ok in retrospect) I did realize something today.

I really need to sloooow down.

Slow down. Be organized but not overwhelmed. Stop trying to be perfect. Relax.

I think I'm going to have a really hard time doing it, but, I think it's something I really REALLY need to work on. At the rate I'm going, I'm going to be burnt out by 30 - seriously! I'm reaching burnout phase. It's not good, and I have to do something about it.

How'd I arrive at this conclusion?

Honestly, it was a combination of what happened on Monday night and reading this. Yeah. I read that. And I went in thinking "what is this stupid woo-woo website going to tell me about taking care of myself?" Then, as I read, all I could think was "wow. this, aside from the family details and lost pregnancy, is me. ow."

I don't know how I'm going to slow down exactly - it might take time (says the girl with a conference call at 8:30 tonight). I'm feeling committed to finding out, and enjoying how it feels.

Eh though right now, all I feel is hungry. I'm frickin' starving! Off to forage for some food.....

Thank you for letting me ramble.

Why My Certain Small Scenes from my Life Would Make a Good Movie

2011-05-03T13:01:00.000-05:00

Scene: Driving Northbound on I-95 somewhere in Connecticut, returning from husband's family funeral in Brooklyn. Allison is behind the wheel, crying hysterically about her job, her lack of patience, and mental exhaustion.

Jamaal: You know, you have Superwoman syndrome, you try and do too much all the time. It's not healthy. You need time for you, you know.
Allison: (hiccups) I...I...know
J: And if that means....um, do you need to pull over?
A: NO!
J: Are you sure? Do you need me to drive?
A: NO!
J: Allison, you are crying, how can you focus on driving??
A: I'm very very good and multitasking, REMEMBER?!

You ever have one of those days? I'm sure you have - just one of those days where you're completely overloaded and there is no more room in your head for thoughts or feelings or your emotions or anyone else's thoughts, feelings or emotions (ok, except crying apparently)? I had one of those days yesterday. Luckily I have a super-sweet and understanding husband who knows how to deal with me. Needless to say, once we got home I put on my PJ's, slipped under the covers and slept, brick-like, for the next 8 hours. I wish I could say I woke up in a completely different state, but I didn't. Mind you, I felt greatly improved, but looming ahead of me was a long day at the office. This past week and I'm sure the rest of this week has really sealed the deal: I need a new job. I'm kind of disappointed that it has come to this, but it's something I need to do. I'm nervous and kind of scared...but I'm excited to try and something that doesn't make me quite so miserable.

In the meantime, I'm going to try and start doing some things that make me really happy. Luckily, it's spring, and that means that kayaking and gardening are on deck for the sunny days, and crafting is there for the rainy ones. Here's to a better outlook!

Birthday Recap

2011-04-28T09:33:00.000-05:00

There were certain things I wanted to do for my birthday.

I had a champagne cocktail at the Barker Tavern (actually, I had 2)

I got a mani/pedi and became a convert of the gel manicure.

I went to Sephora and bought myself some treats.

I did manage to get hygiene kits together for my church, but I didn't seem to take a picture of them! I am super-anal and had the facecloths and hand towels all match, and put in toothbrushes that coordinated well with the towel colors. Who does that? And what hygiene kit recipient, who is in such a desperate situation they need a facecloth, hand towel, comb, toothbrush, bar of soap, nail clipper and 6 bandaids, would ever notice such a thing? Maybe no one will - which is fine, because the point is bringing people what they need to survive - but maybe someone will notice and think "someone thought of me when they put this together" because I did.

I still haven't started my Craft Hope project, but hope to soon!

As for the quilt, life intervened. Yeah. I had set aside a day to make a Quilt for Quake Survivors quilt, but I totally failed because I was having a really bad awful day and couldn't focus long enough to sew. It sounds stupid, and looking back, it is pretty dumb. I have been feeling terrible about it, and every time I see the scraps that I had cut out hanging out on the shelf of my pantry, I have guilt. I really felt like I was meant to make a quilt to comfort someone who had lost everything.

Then this happened in Alabama:

I saw this picture on (and stole it from) abcnews.com. Someone commented that they could not believe that in the midst of all this, America seemed to be focused on the Royal Wedding and President Obama's birth certificate. How true. I can't imagine what it's like to have a mile-wide funnel cloud bearing down on your home, putting your entire family and existence at risk. I can't imagine losing everything - but I can imagine how heartbroken I'd be to lose certain things - like family photos, heirlooms, and things I had made and other people had made for me. Suddenly I realized I have a reason to finish that quilt and that I wouldn't even have to search as far as Japan to find someone who might need a little homemade comfort.

John James Audubon!

2011-04-26T13:12:00.002-05:00

Google looks like this today - it's John James Audubon's birthday! Thanks to my friend Rachel, the walls of our living room are graced with Audubon prints. I love them, they actually make me happy when I walk in the room! They're so vibrant you could stare at them for hours. I'm plotting ways to get my favorite print up in the dining room, a Baltimore Oriole in a Magnolia tree. Our wall are full, but there's always room for another Audubon print, right?

Here's what we have on the walls now (forgive the hideous camera phone photos):

Louisiana Heron, now called the Tricolored Heron

Screech Owls - especially fitting as I've found one living in a tree not far from our apartment

Pileated Woodpeckers

Blue-Winged Teals and Mallards

Great Blue Heron, one of my favorite birds

Carolina Parakeets, which are unfortunately extinct. Sad considering how beautiful they were.

Why You Gotta Hate?

2011-04-26T10:43:00.000-05:00

What is up with people HATING on the Royal Wedding??

I get lukewarm feelings, I get indifference because we're Americans, sure, but some people I've encountered have super-violent reactions. Lighten up people, it's a wedding! A celebration of love! Yes, it's a multi-million dollar/pound celebration of love, but LIGHTEN UP, it's supposed to be fun for the rest of commoners to watch, judge, talk about Kate's dress, why she went with flowers in her hair instead of a tiara (or vice versa, as it remains to be seen), etc.

I say this as someone who does not plan to get up at 4AM to watch the beginning of wedding coverage. I'll DVR it and watch later, but after work on Friday I plan to enjoy checking out Kate's dress, what the queen is wearing, what kind of suit Will chose (I'm a newlywed, these things still entertain me. Oh, and I'm nosy lol). After all, the beauty of television coverage is that you have a choice - you can turn your tv on and watch the coverage, or you can watch something else, or not watch TV at all. OR you can go all out, you can get up at 4AM, watch the coverage, you can go to a viewing party at the asscrack of dawn in your fancy hat and sip mimosas.

Someone on facebook said "I'm not watching the Royal Wedding. Our forefathers fought a war with England so we wouldn't have to be subjected to things like this" (dramatic much?). My response is that yes, we're Americans, and most of us have 5 TVs in our houses and get 500 cable channels. We do have a choice about watching the wedding or not watching it. There's no need to get all riled up about it. Do it or don't. The end.

This American, however, is going to watch it with an adult beverage, fast forward through the dull bits, enjoy it, and will wish the newlyweds well...then it's back to normal for the rest of us!

As my sister would say: WHAT EVEN?

2011-04-20T11:09:00.000-05:00

My coworker eats the same thing for lunch every.day. Oh except Fridays, when she gets chicken and lo mein at the Chinese place in the food court.

Every day she makes fun of the fact that I eat yogurt.

Why? Do I make fun of her Au Bon Pain salad that costs 11 bucks? Of which she only eats half and throws away the rest? NO. I don't.

I have made passive aggressive comments to try and get her to stop, like "wow, you're really concerned about my yogurt eating" but she doesn't get it. It's YoCrunch Greek, fruity and delicious with granola-y stuff on top. I eat it because 1. it's fairly healthy 2. I like it. So like, what is the issue?

I think I might start eating it for breakfast. And when she says something like "where's the yogurt?" I'll say "Oh, got sick of the comments, so now I eat it for breakfast when I'm alone in my office." SRSLY WTF?!

A Thought

2011-04-19T10:49:00.000-05:00

More about my spectacular birthday later...
for now, a thought:

I was reading my blogroll this morning and came across pictures of Easter egg dying. My inner self sighed. I just turned 29, kind of old to be dying Easter eggs....besides, what would I do with them? As I sat at my desk thinking "eat them on Easter morning, and oh, the egg salad, one of Jam's specialties..." dying eggs seemed like maybe not so foolish an idea. Then I imagined my grown self buying a box of Paas at the supermarket. Yeah, I use self-checkout, but wouldn't I feel silly, just a little bit?

Then I remembered - I have a wedding ring, and one of the many perks of being married, is that you get a ring to wear for the world to see, upon which they may base their many assumptions about your life.....and when I go to the store and buy things, "kid things" I let the world make those assumptions, however wrong they may be...I'm a married lady, buying her kids Halloween candy, toys for Christmas, or......stuff for Easter eggs :)

Yes, it's wrong....but it feels oh so right.....

Birthday

2011-04-14T12:17:00.000-05:00

My birthday is on Saturday. Yay!

While I always buy myself something and tend to be waaay self-indulgent (last year I bought a clarisonic!) this year I want to give back a little too. So, though it is my "birthday weekend" I am hoping to get a lot accomplished.

1. I would like to put together a bunch of hygiene kits for my church

2. I would like to participate in Craft Hope's Project 12

3. I would like to make a quilt for Quilts for Quake survivors.

I'd consider that to be a really good way to celebrate my birthday/spend time.

Just so you don't think I'm a goody two shoes, I'd also like to

1. order a champagne cocktail at the Barker Tavern

2. get a mani/ped

3. buy a clarisonic replacement head, night lotion, lorac multiplex 3D lip gloss and some bumble and bumble products at Sephora

These things mean birthday glory....and I am all about birthday glory for my last birthday in my 20's. Let's GO!!!

Amusing

2011-04-11T09:31:00.002-05:00

I know, I know, it's a little crazy to compare nail polish to gasoline (though milk to gasoline I find a more reasonable comparison, because if you drove a little less, yet still bought x gallons of milk per week your're spending....ok I'm stopping), but I find this chart very interesting and entertaining, from the endlessly interesting and entertaining I Love Charts tumblr.

Subway Etiquette

2011-04-06T09:18:00.000-05:00

Great pictorial display of why we should stop being a$$holes on the train and give up our seats to pregnant ladies (well, and anyone needing a seat!)

http://ilovecharts.tumblr.com/post/4373042007/subway-chivalry-via-noogs

I will say that I have offered my seat to pregnant ladies and ladies I suspected were pregnant. If you have any doubt about a woman being pregnant, err on the side of caution and offer up your seat. If a woman asks why you're offering it (though why anyone would ask is beyond me) say "you look like you've had a long day" or "just thought you would like to sit" - DO NOT SAY "Because you're pregnant, right?" Because let me tell you, it will make a non-pregnant lady feel kind of crappy about herself. Take it from a girl who knows. Luckily I have a sense of humor and usually say "yes, I know this parka makes me look pregnant, but I'm not! Thank you for being so kind as to offer me a seat though, that's really nice."

Actually, looking at this chart made me laugh because I fall into the category of the "alleyoops" aka standing people who have requested a seat on the pregnant person's behalf. I have only done this once, and I was intensely provoked. It was last summer on a packed red line train. A very obviously pregnant lady got on the train and proceeded take off her cardi and put her parcels on the floor. She looked hot and exhausted. The line of d-bag men seated in front of her either buried their head in their newspapers or stared at her gape-mouthed. A woman standing next to me muttered "can you believe it?" when no one stood to offer up their seat. I reached across 3 or 4 people, tapped the pregnant lady on the arm and said "Do you need to sit? Because I will tell someone to MOVE." The lady next to me chuckled. The pregnant lady looked slightly mortified and said "No, actually, I'm fine." I said "OK, but if at any point you want to sit, let me know. I will get someone to move." Now the men gaped at me...probably because they thought I was crazy. I probably looked crazy too. I noticed that when some seats freed up, the pregnant lady took one...at the opposite end of the train. Heh. I didn't care though, I was so so angry. Don't even get me started about the time a blind man WITH A SEEING EYE DOG got on the train and no one offered up their seat. I was ready to start throwing things at people.

Wow, this post turned from "lookit this cool chart" to full-out ranty. Oops. In short, read and be amused but horrified at the chart, think of it when you're next on the subway, offer your seat to someone who needs it more than you do. I will do the same.

Thank you, PSA now over.

Two Lists

2011-04-05T14:10:00.001-05:00

Things my officemate does that ANNOY ME:

1. disagrees with me on purpose/brings up sensitive issues she knows we disagree on just so she can voice her opinion once again. E.g. gay marriage, pre-marital cohabitation, when a couple should buy a house/have kids, the fact that Jam and I don't eat pork. I would like to note in the record that I avoid these topics, and do not ever bring up coworkers 1.eating habits 2. religious affiliations/beliefs based solely on the teachings of the church to which she belongs and with which I have major personal issues 3. her marriage 4. her kids (unless it's "how's so and so doing in school")

2. reads the news to me. All of which I have usually read the day before...sometimes days and days before.

3. talks disparagingly about coworkers on our project - I don't care what they do unless their work affects me, which it doesn't

4. reads the weather out loud to me

5. reports on the status of the ladies room after each visit. E.g. "pee on the seat in stall one, in stall two, no one flushed." WTF?

6. plays the radio out loud without head phones. Some Neil Young-heavy station.

Things my officemate does that make me feel guilty about getting annoyed:

1. has my back (most of the time)

2. gossips (and she has good gossip, so as long as she's not purposefully mean, I am happy to indulge.)

3. gives me candy apples at Christmas (which may sound insignificant but they are the most bangin' candy apples ever invented on EARTH the end.)

4. tries to be helpful in my quest for additional domestic skills including cooking (she sends me recipes and bought me a pie plate for a wedding gift)

5. shares candy/baked goods/food with me at least once a week...I think she has a secret quest to fatten me up, but still, it seems like a benevolent gesture.

So while certain days are super-unbearable and I sit at my desk and think "today I am not going to talk about XYZ" or sit there and brace myself for questions I won't want to answer, there are times when I feel really bad about getting annoyed so easily because it could be much, much MUCH worse....like my old supervisor could be my officemate....and she has tics (slurping, tapping her fingers/feet, etc). It could be worse. I must learn a bit more patience. And learn to answer questions and respond to comments strategically.

Today I did fairly well. I shrugged when asked "why do elderly people still have their licenses? Old people are crashing into things all the time." I shrugged twice and said "I don't know. Doesn't the registry test them?" "It's a JOKE" she yelled. I shrugged again. Probably because I know several old people who drive more responsibly that I do....

Anyways, there's a list for today. I promise something more creative tomorrow. Hopefully a project won't eat my soul and three hours of my time tomorrow...

Animal House

2011-04-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

There is a mouse running around the 2nd floor of our office building like he owns the place.

Little bastard.

Last night, he dug up my plant and threw dirt around my desk, then he crapped liberally on my office mate's desk (OK that's kind of funny because she was a bit beastly this week with the comments) - but I don't take kindly to the destruction of my tropical plants!

I declare a war on office mice.

I "could fight them with conventional weapons, but that would take years and cost millions of lives....."

I "have to go all out.

What this situation absolutely requires IS"

my self-designed mouse catcher.

I will let you know how it goes.

Yes I was uninspired, but....

2011-03-25T13:05:00.001-05:00

....do not despair, my creativity was not totally dead turtle pizza (inside joke).

We were recently invited to a "re-birthday party" for a friend's bird. Chi-Chi's story is a great one, and if you're interested in the story, click here. Basically, Chi Chi was sick and about to be put down, but at the last minute his various caretakers decided to take him home and make him comfortable until he died....except he didn't, thanks to an intensive feeding regimen, lots of love, and physical therapy. Every year on the day he was supposed to be put down, his caretakers host a party, where he perches on people's shoulders and quite obviously is very proud of himself.

I wanted to make a special dessert. Since I had already brought parrot cupcakes to another party, I wanted something new and exciting. I have long admired Bakerella's cake pops, but admit that they seemed waaay above my level of baking skill. I couldn't wrap my mind around them exactly, couldn't see how they would work....BUT...they were just the right kind of impressive for this party, especially if I could fashion pops that looked like the birthday boy himself, so I decided to go to the library and check out Bakerella's cake pop book. Of course, it had been checked out. Boo! With only a few days to go before the party, I decided to scour her website for tips and tricks. I went to Michael's and dove right in, buying melts, an edible food pen, lollipop sticks, fondant, and foam blocks....I guessed I was doing the cake pop thing.

Turns out, cake pops aren't necessarily hard. They definitely require meticulousness and patience, something I often lack, but I was committed to making these pops awesome. I followed Bakerella's directions fairly well. I made a red velvet cake 2 days before the party. I baked it at night and let it cool all night and all day the next day (day before the party). The night before the party, it was time to work. I started by breaking up the red velvet cake. I started doing this in the pan I had cooked it in. Stupid. This made things difficult, everything was sliding everywhere, including bits of red cake which ended up all over the table and on the kitchen floor. Next time, I will scoop the cake into a bowl before crumbling!

Much easier to mix in a bowl!

Since I had that run-in with the cake, I decided to scoop the frosting I was using out of the cannister into a separate bowl so I could soften in a bit by stirring. This was smart! It made mixing the frosting into the cake much easier.

Making the actual cake balls was very messy work! I wanted ovoid shaped balls instead of round, since I thought the oval shape would look more parrot-like. I found the more you rolled the cake ball in your hand, the better the frosting and cake crumbs came together. I did have to wash my hands after every 4 or 5 cake balls. I wonder if those plastic bag-type food handling gloves would help or hinder? I was also paranoid that the more I handled the cake, the weirder it would taste (would it taste like I had been touching it? Gross, but you know what I mean!) I shouldn't have worried, they tasted great in the end. Once the cake balls were done, I followed the instructions for the lolli sticks, dipping them in candy melts, then sticking them in the cake balls. That works and is, in my opinion, one of the most important steps. In future, I would not skimp on the candy melt coating on the sticks as I did this time.

While the cake pops were firming up in the freezer, I decided to work with the fondant I had bought. I had never in my life used fondant and was skeptical. I had to google to figure out how to work with it, as I had this solid rectangles I had bought from Michael's (which was great because they were already colored, so no mixing of colors needed!). While I had looked for candy that could serve as Chi Chi's wings I also decided to fashion a wing-shaped cookie cutter. I didn't have anything small enough, but I had some copper sheets left over from the wedding (I embossed tags for mason jar lanterns....yeah, I'll put that on the wedding blog some day!) I cut two 1/2'' wide strips from the sheets (which around 4x4'') and bent them to look how I wanted - kind of like this: D - and then taped them into place. Totally unprofessional way to handle making your own cookie cutter, but I figure for single use, this solution was a decent one!

my homemade fondant cutter

Working with fondant turned out to be gloriously easy, just roll it out and cut your shapes. Yay! In no time I had 35 pairs of wings. I decided using the red and blue fondant stacked together would not only be colorful, but the most accurate representation of Chi Chi's side and wing feathers. I took a small paint brush and dabbed water on the blue bits to "paste" them to the red. This worked very very well, though in the future, I might try working with a q-tip or smaller paint brush, as I did have an excess of water on a few of the wings. No real harm done though.

Now it was time to dip! I melted some green wilton candy melts and found that the green wasn't vibrant enough. I put a good bit of kelly green food coloring in the melted candy, and that helped. I could've put in a lot more, but remember that thing I mentioned, that whole lack of patience thing? Yeah, it was rearing its head right about now! Point is, I got the melts to a satisfying green color and was ready to dip.

Dipping was tricky - it's tempting to spin the pops to get the excess candy melt off. I had to learn not to spin too hard or your cake ball will spin right off the stick. I found cradling the ball in a spoon and spinning worked nicely. Tapped of excess - again, not too hard, I totally lost one or two cake balls this way. Once dipped, I stuck an orange tic tac in the middle for a beak - yeah, it took forever to come up with the beak solution even though it should've been the easiest part - then stuck the cake pop in a foam block to dry.

beaks!

Once dry, I stuck the wings on with candy melt "glue." I dipped a toothpick in the green melt, painted some on a wing, and stuck it to the side of the cake pop. This worked ridiculously well despite my skepticism!

The day of the party, I drew on eyes. I actually hated to food pen I used, it just never seemed to work right, so if I make these again, I'm upgrading the food pen!

Lastly, I arranged the pops nicely in styrofoam, made a sign so people would know the cake pops were supposed to be Chi Chi, wiped a few oil drips from the pop bases (more on this later) and packed everything to go.

They were a SUCCESS! Someone at the party said it was the "best dessert" they had ever tasted. I imagine this is a slight exaggeration, but I will say that they were a hit at the party and everyone wanted to try one. I was nervous about eating one because I'm my own worst critic - would the fondant be sticky? the dessert too sweet? The cake mix called for a lot of oil, and on a few cake pops, I didn't completely coat the base with candy melt and a few drops of oil squeezed out - would the whole pop taste oily and gross?

I'm happy to say, that they were delicious! While I might avoid oily cake mixes in the future (if possible) the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting and candy melt combo was delicious. Even the fondant and orange tic tac added a little flavor!

Outcome: Success
Changes in the future: Definitely. New pen, less oily cake, streamlined production process
Overall: A+

Jeopardy!

2011-03-25T10:00:00.004-05:00

I'm sure some of you saw this hilarious (and maybe slightly offensive to some) blooper on Jeopardy!

I actually missed it, but my sister facebooked it and had me watch the video. As a bird nerd and Jeopardy! lover, I found it incredibly funny....funny enough to warrant a MS Paint drawing, something that has been long absent from this blog.

Here you go.

You're welcome, ha ha.

Morning Distractions

2011-03-24T09:09:00.000-05:00

When I graduated from college, I already had a job, and yeah, I felt special. Sure, it was a temporary one, but I was CERTAIN it would turn into my career. Oh optimistic college grad, how stupid you were!

When I did not get rehired by a different lab at the end of the summer, I didn't worry - there had to be something out there for me to do, right?

WRONG.

By Thanksgiving I was desperate and turned to retail, Ann Taylor Loft, specifically. This was probably the worst possible choice since the job came with a ATL charge card and a 40% discount. I was making a little more than minimum wage, but I had a closet full of smashing women's business casual wear.

Luckily, the clothes lasted longer than the job, which I kept after being hired at the cancer hospital. I was eventually let go when a new management team came aboard - the new manager told me that she thought I lacked "commitment to the ATL retail team" and that she couldn't "trust a person who worked 8 hours a week." Never got what that was about, but I do know that manager lasted about 6 weeks before getting fired, and the manager who took her place later tried to hire me back. I guess my clothes-folding skills and the humor I brought to the job were still discussed among the remaining employees.

Anyways, that was years and years ago, but I'm still rocking a lot of the clothes I bought during my ATL stint, even though I am not as lithe and athletic as I was in those days (when I could still run without the hindrance of shin splints, before I met Jamaal and he introduced me to soul food). Yes, some of the clothes are a bit snug, but usually with the right amount of layering or a camisole underneath a shirt, I look presentable, so ATL clothes are in my rotation on a regular basis.

Today was one of those days I slept horribly late despite setting the alarm on my phone. I woke up at 7:20, despite my desire to be out of the house at 7:15. Fail. And of course we're getting one last winter blast here in Boston, so I have to set aside a teeny bit of time to brush my car off. I leap into the shower, get out and put on my makeup, skip drying my hair, pull on a pair of corduroy pants and a button down that is a little tight in the ol' rack. BUT, that's OK, I have a wrap sweater, a navy wool one that I could live in all winter if I had to. I put everything on, look fairly pulled together, and reach for my tweed coat....but I'm missing a button. Eff.

I pull out my down coat....but it's supposed to reach 40 today, I think, I'll die of heat stroke on the red line...I pull off the sweater, pull on the down coat, and intend to shove the sweater in my purse.....but that never happens. Instead I rummage through the fridge to find my leftover pad thai, dig a business-sized envelope out of the pantry for Jamaal, look for my ipod, look for my phone, look for my ID badge, which was in my purse the whole time, and then jet out the door to clear off the car.

I realized I forgot my sweater when I was parking at the T garage. Ugh. Normally this would not be a tragedy, normally, this would not even be worthy of a blog post, normally I would not give a crap....except.....my buttons are kinda gaping open and my shirt rides up when I sit down....and I'm not alone in my office like I thought I would be today, I'm in the presence of several pairs of scrutinizing eyes. You can see my bra....you can see my little fleshy bits sticking out around my waist. UGH x 2 Luckily I keep a shawl at work so I can cover up some of my wardrobe issues, but still. I feel a little naked. Oh and a little squishy, ha ha. Guess I better take a run after work...and lift some weights. Ha.

It is true "badassery"

2011-03-23T07:51:00.002-05:00

http://abcworldnews.tumblr.com/post/4043154749/toliveanddieinlondon-this-is-hideaki-akaiwa

And I love it.

Solemn Vow

2011-03-22T14:58:00.000-05:00

If I ever have the chance (privilege I guess?) of procreating with the Jamonster, I solemnly swear I will not

1. post on Facebook every day about being knocked up - this includes daily updates about morning sickness, what the baby 'wants' to eat, what I want to eat but can't, getting kicked, getting fat, maternity clothes, and any gruesome birth details.

2. be creepy about it - e.g. posting ultrasound pics on Facebook with the babies bits pointed out with "it's a girl!" or "it's a boy" on there, be weird with people about birth, baptism, godparents, comparing pregnancies, etc.

3. leave myself out in the open for comments, whether critical or supportive.

This might be snarky, and it might be especially snarky coming from a non-parent, but the amount of pregnancy stuff I see from people is a bit shocking and totally annoying. I think it's absolutely wonderful when someone says they're expecting, whether via blog or email or facebook. I'm happy! But when it is EVERY.DAY. I guess there comes a time when I just need to block their newsfeed from my page....but I'm writing this down now so if someday I find myself in a pregnant state, I do not do the very things that used to annoy the heck out of me!

I also vowed with my sister never to drive a minivan. I'm really going to try my best to avoid the van. No offense to van drivers out there, because honestly, as much as I personally dislike minivans, you're still waaaaay better than those mega SUV's.

OK, rant over.

PS I am watching the oddest movie on Netflix streaming, "City of Joy" with Patrick Swayze, which was highly rated. Very odd, very odd.

PPS I just checked my wallet and I don't have enough cashola to get my car out of the T garage. BOOO

PPPS I am making dinner for me and my sister tonight and I'm excited. The end.

Back

2011-03-17T10:32:00.000-05:00

It's been almost a month of procrastination and sloth.

I've decided that I'm back.

I'm in the mood to get.stuff.done!

I'm in the mood to finish up my wedding blog (yeah, I know we already got married, but the blog still gets traffic from brides-to-be looking for ideas, so I'm committed to finishing it up and putting all my DIY stuff on there).

I'm in the mood to CLEAN. Major pantry revision coming this weekend, stay tuned.

I'm in the mood to CRAFT..kinda...sorta...ok I'm still getting there.

I'm in the mood to HELP! It's time to clean out the old storage unit and get work clothes to a women's back to work program, time to dry clean those bridesmaid dresses to donate to local prom dress charity, it's time to donate things to a local special needs school that runs a thrift shop, it's time to knit squares to make blankets for women in Uganda, it's time to put together hygiene kits for church...and I still wait for the call to help the people of Japan in ways other than donating money (though donating money is a good way to help! Here is a link. I'd add to that list Church World Services - members of my church have been on mission trips and seen their work in action. This is the group that collects our hygiene kits!). Ready to help.

Oh, and I'm ready to garden. Yeah. But I need to wait on that a bit - a few more weeks.

I think that despite my sheer exhaustion from our "spring ahead" daylight savings adventure, the additional daylight has done me good (and if you know me at all, I hesitate to ever call myself exhausted, it's not a term I use lightly....but I use it here because it's been years since I've fallen asleep at work, and this week, it happened!). I also decide to start taking control of the crap in my life, like fitness, and money, you know, the unfun junk that I like to avoid. I also got a haircut. My head feels lighter. ha.

So yeah. Yay for gettin' my groove back. It had to happen.

Uninspired

2011-02-25T11:08:00.000-05:00

I've felt so uninspired lately.
I mean, look at this blog and it's crap postings - that's just a slice of uninspired for you. Blah.
My friend's birthday party is next weekend. I love buying gifts, LOVE IT, but I can't think of a single thing to give her.....talk about uninspired blah boring-ness.

Maybe it's the lingering winter.

Maybe it's my inability to finish things.

Maybe it's my job - it leaves me worn out and frazzled at the end of the day and I am slowly, slowly growing to hate and resent it...not the work itself, but the drama drama drama all the time.

I guess the good news is that I don't feel sad or depressed or anything. I am quite content with married life and our cozy nook of an apartment. I love it. I love spending time with husbando - actually, he's away on business and the apartment feels empty and echo-y without him. I am relieved that he'll be home tonight (as fun as it was to have the space to sprawl - in bed, on the couch - I do miss his presence). So that's good I guess.

Maybe all the traveling we've done in the past year (DC, NYC, Jamaica, San Diego) has made me restless. I feel like I constantly want to be away. I think that's wrapped up in the weather too, because I'm guessing if I had my deck garden (which I am planning to transform!) and was able to read/nap in a patch of warm sunlight, I wouldn't feel the urge to flee all the time.

A friend wrote me a letter from Hawai'i, telling me how she'd love to have me visit and identify the birds in her yard. Oh how I longed to pack a bag and bounce.

Jam said the other day "you love Africa, you love it so much!" I said "If I could, I'd leave tomorrow to go back there...with you of course, dear."

Yup. Guess I'm restless. Guess I'm sick of winter. Guess I hate my job at the moment. Maybe I should start buying lottery tickets? If I hit it big I could quit my job and travel instead, LOL. Right now, that sounds good, and that's just about the only sliver of inspiration I've had in what seems like weeks or months. Le sigh.

Anyways, with March around the corner, I'm going to try and be a little more, um, I don't know, fresh and inspired. I feel quite stale. Ew. Now that just sounds gross.

Expectant Coworker Adjusts Expectations

2011-02-22T11:05:00.000-05:00

ha ha I'm witty...

So the woman across the hall is pregnant, which is very exciting. She's super-nice and brings us all candy on a regular basis. Basically everyone on the floor likes her a lot, so we're all excited to get pregnancy updates, plan a secret-surprise shower, and bring in little gifties here and there.

What I feel bad about is the people clearly trying to unload their crap on her - they know she is too nice to say "no."

I mean, I am ALL FOR hand-me-downs. Heck, hand-me-downs are practically like shopping, sans money. A big bag of stuff I've never seen before? heck YES! Hell, I wore clothes from the free box in college, and right now I am wearing a top that used to belong a cousin. Basically, I am trying to tell you that I'm not being snobby about people's stuff.

What would make me annoyed if I were in pregnant coworker's situation are the conversations that are going like this "so....I have X that used to belong to little precious. He's 10 months now, so he doesn't need it. It's kind of ripped and stained, but you sew, right? And it's not like you get to go out much in those first months, so a stain on the front isn't a big deal. It's just food. or maybe spit up breast milk or something. You'll get used to it." Um. ew. Just now I overheard this from across the hall "so it's broken in some places (I think this referred to a mobile) but you can just tie any old toy to it and hang it from the ceiling, it's basically good as new."

OK people. It's great that you want to give stuff to pregnant coworker, but if it belongs in the trash, maybe you should put it there...because I'm guessing if you don't, she's going to do it for you, so how about we all save ourselves some time and effort....

I don't envy coworker for this reason, though I must say, there are many enviable things about her pregnancy, one being that her coworkers have stopped asking her when she's going to have a baby. Yeah. I envy that. A lot.

Soda Ban

2011-02-18T08:42:00.000-05:00

So I just read this blog post about banning soda because it's water and high fructose corn syrup and it's not "natural."

Which is kinda true....

BUT

It brings me back to a conversation I've had with Jam time and time again - I believe that the "higher powers" in this world - so in this case, let's say the FDA - can only hold your hand so much before they have to step back and say "OK, if you'd like to make this bad choice for yourself, go ahead, we've told you the ill effects of consuming this product, there's nothing more we can do because IT'S A FREE COUNTRY."

Why should I, who loves a soda now and then, have to suffer because there are people in this world who are dumb enough to drink it like water and give it to small children?? I drink a soda a day or so (well actually, probably not a whole one because I'm a soda snob - I hate how quickly it gets flat in a can, so I usually don't finish a whole one) and enjoy it. I know that it may not be great for me, I know that it might be hindering my ability to quickly reduce the fleshy bits hanging on to my midsection. I get it, but I'm going to do it anyway, and I'm going to like it.

I guess my point is this - I don't want to waste my time and tax dollars holding someone else's hand because they can't make a good decision for themselves. If the caramel coloring in soda REALLY is a carcinogen (always, always, read scientific studies and question their validity people *cough cough autism vaccine study cough cough*) then yeah, maybe that issue should be addressed (though really, how many other carcinogens am I exposed to daily just by living life?). Otherwise, do what Lady Gaga says: don't look outward for validity, look inward. Look inward and think about your choices - if they're bad ones, so be it - don't make the rest of us pay.

Rant over.

*cracks open a coke 0*

Very Glad I Watched the Grammy's

2011-02-17T13:32:00.000-05:00

Not just because Lady Gaga is awesome....

but also because these guys are AMAZEBALLS:

source

I *might* have a couple of Mumford and Sons songs on repeat on the iPod right now......and I *might* play them out loud and rock out in my empty office tomorrow....

Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

Awesomeness, x 10^11
Yeah. I just typed an exponent. Cause I'm a dork like that.

HGB

2011-02-16T14:25:00.000-05:00

My hemoglobin was epically high today - 14.0gm/dL
I don't think it has EVER been that high.
I started to wonder what could've made it spike - we did have a steak on Valentine's Day, but I had a modest portion. I did have some spinach along with it, which could've helped.

Then I thought about all the dough I ate while making cookies.
Dough=flour=enriched white flour=supplemental iron.

I wouldn't be upset if I had to eat a lot of cookie dough the weekend before my donations, ha ha ha.

Extra Work

2011-02-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

Valentine's Day had the courtesy to fall on a Monday this year.
That means spare $$ for me as I log a few hours at the local flower shop. No idea what they'll have me do! At Christmas, it was arranging greens in oasis foam. Obviously I'll be spared the needle-poked, sap-covered hands of the holiday season, but I'm guessing I'll be doing something similar for V-day, only with ferns and other floral greens. I am OK with this.

The florist asked me over Christmas if I enjoyed the job. I immediately said "Yes!" She smiled and was happy with the response. I didn't elaborate on why: because I don't have to think.....

I didn't want that to sound offensive because the two sisters who run the shop obviously have to think all day. One is the florist, who has more floral-arranging talent and flair in her pinky nail than I do in my whole body, and one runs the office. The florist gets up at 4:30 every day to get to the flower market in Boston. She always knows exactly what to buy, how much, what colors, etc. The office manager is accused of being ditzy sometimes - she can be, BUT how she always knows what needs to go where and when baffles me. I'm sure I could figure out the system eventually, but still, I love my job, my simple tasks, that require no hard thinking.

I actually have loved most of the more labor-oriented jobs I've had. Landscaping during the summers was my escape, even in the sweltering heat and humidity of a New England August. I adored being left alone weeding in someone's back yard. No one bugged me, spoke to me, emailed me, called me - it was glorious about 90% of the time (because I did work for a handful of jerks, like a woman who would calculate my pay to the minute. Maybe she did this because she was redoing her pool house so it would have a kitchen and laundry room. Another woman made me wheelbarrow dirt uphill for about 6 hours and take care of her dogs when she wasn't around. ugh). I loved counting plovers on a lonely stretch of closed beach. I loved sweeping up after birds at the parrot shelter - and I didn't even get paid for that. They were jobs that gave my mind a rest - I could lose myself in them, get lost in the monotony of planting bushes or looking for bird's nests. I was alone with my thoughts...and there was no drama.

I think I'm looking forward to working not only for the extra cash, which always seems particularly needed after the Christmas bills roll in, but because I need the break. My own job has been seriously dramatic lately, both within the hospital (though that is slowly, slowly dying down) and within the nationwide project. Don't get me wrong, I love working with so many women. It's great to have them as colleagues and mentors...but there is a subset in this project that seem to absolutely feast on drama. It starts with a simple project request, and turns into a flurry of emails and accusations. "She didn't invite me to be on a call" "I wasn't panicking!" "I have a lot of work to do!" I am, invariably, at the center every time. It's a tiresome place to be. At times I think "This is not what I signed up for" and long to look for a new job. It probably won't happen, though, not only because I'm settled here, but because I have a decent salary, fantastic benefits, and I am (hopefully) about to be published as a co-author on a somewhat significant (to the field) paper. I won't lie though, I sometimes see job offerings from the Environmental Science and Policy department at my alma mater and am tempted by things such as "whale monitor, spend a summer off Provincetown counting whales!" or "migratory bird counter needed" or "water quality assurance position for Charles River Watershed." The jobs are usually temporary, and the pay is mostly lousy. It's just not meant to be, I guess. For now, I'll put my headphones on, crank some hip-hop and "Glee" tunes, and try to get through the day without snapping (via email, of course!).

Thank goodness for Valentine's Day!

What I Will Do to Combat Boredom This Weekend

2011-02-04T13:45:00.000-05:00

1. Clean and do laundry
2. Make plans for fun things
3. Work on quilt top for Amy's friend
4. Finish fingerless mitts for grandma
5. Price out new laptop
6. Organize photos on flickr
7. Make calendar for office
8. Make list of organizational things desired from the Container Store
9. Exercise
10. Ummmm...GO to the library!

There. There are 10 things I can do to beat boredom this weekend.

People can't seem to believe that I'm bored. Maybe it's because I'm always busy.
Maybe because I always have something I'm doing.
For some reason, I feel energy-sapped and dull, I just want to lie around, sleep and watch TV...but I'm even bored with doing that (ha ha ha, at least I can laugh at myself for this). Man, this hibernation is getting in my head. Resist! Resist! Entertain thyself, Allison!

Winter Blahs

2011-02-03T15:02:00.001-05:00

Anyone else have them?

I feel trapped by the weather, UGH....not that I don't go out, I do. I go to work, the grocery store...I go outside and shovel...still.

I feel the need to find a warm light-filled space. One highlight of this dreary CRAPASS weather has been the healing garden at the hospital. It's bright and bird sounds or flowing water sounds are piped in. It's small though (I mean, it's amazing and huge in the sense that it's an indoor space at a hospital, but small in the sense that I need room to frolic. Plus frolicking may be inappropriate, ha ha). I think I need a beach. Or something. UGH.

I guess one option is to plan for the warmer weather. I flipped through my book on container gardening, and I'm totally stalking a local farm that offers a CSA pickup in Boston. Jam is not convinced, but I'm sold, as they also include jam, eggs, and cheese a few weeks out of the season. I think it'd reduce our grocery bill and the price is only $18/week for a half share (but you pay up front, so it IS daunting. still).

I keep imagining everything I see snow-covered leafy or blooming.

Winter in New England is always long, I get that. That's what makes the spring so sweet. But with a trapped bored feeling, drama at work, a sick husbando (flu shot for him next year, no doubt) and a general feeling of ick, I am ready for it to be over. My boss told me on Monday that spring was only 48 days away. Somehow this seems like an eternity.

Snow Day

2011-01-27T14:34:00.002-05:00

I'm working from home right now, typing at my dining room table. I'm sitting stretched out in a patch of sunlight. Kind of like a kitty cat. It's pretty damn nice, if I do say so myself.

Who said the snow doesn't have its advantages??

Look homeward...if the snow doesn't blind you, that is.

2011-01-25T20:19:00.001-05:00

When last I left you, we were on the runway at O'Hare, watching scenes like this unfold:

The thing is, I'm not bad with flying and snow. Jeez, I'm from Massachusetts. What I am bad about is the fact that airlines choose not to send their planes to cities where bad weather is expected because they won't "get their plane back" therefore royally effing up our travel plans. We landed in Chicago to find all flights to Boston canceled until Thursday. It was Tuesday. WTF. I actually walked away from the woman at United when she informed us she couldn't get us to Boston on Thursday because everything was booked but there was a chance of getting us to Manchester or Providence. REALLY UNITED, REALLY?!!!! Jamaal, because he's awesome, managed to score us tickets to Baltimore that night. "Eastern Seaboard" we shouted, dancing merrily around the terminal at O'Hare amidst weary travelers looking for an electrical outlet. We took off around 7:30PM. It became clear as we approached Baltimore, that we may not be escaping so easily from BWI. During the last 40 minutes of our flight, all I could see was snow rushing by the window. All I could think was how the snow was blinding the pilot and we'd miss the runway - I am morbid like that when I fly - and how we'd skid off and be on the news, but maybe I'd be injured just enough to get home to Boston on some sort of mercy ambulance ride, or how my dad could pull strings with the Maryland State Police and get me home. Luckily, we landed just fine to find BWI....closed....dead....with no flights to Boston until Thursday. Le Sigh.

In our infinite ~~wisdom~~ stupidity, we hailed a cab, which charged us a 25% markup in fare for "weather conditions" and went to the Greyhound Station. Looking back, this was the turning point in our journey, the point where we could've had triumph or tragedy. Sadly, triumph was not in the cards for us. Jamaal went in. I am sure they laughed when he was gone. No buses. We went to the Amtrak station. Because we had gone to the bus station first, we entered the train station to hear the final boarding call for the 10:30 train to Boston. Because we didn't land until nearly 10, we never thought we'd make the Amtrak....but then that train was 17 minutes late, and by the time we diddled around the snowy streets of Baltimore, our arrival via cab exactly coincided with the Regional Service. We asked the cops in the station if we could make it. To their credit, I think they radioed someone. They looked at us with a mixture of amusement and downright pity, informing us that the train was pulling out of the station and the next one was at 3:55AM. Thus began our long night at the Downtown Baltimore train station.

I've slept on airport floors before. I pride myself on being able to fall asleep anywhere, and often end the night on the couch knocked out on husbando's thigh (we have a system). Unfortunately, the train station is in the midst of renovations, and the flimsy plastic covering the windows near the only benches in the station not occupied by homeless men did little to protect us from the howling blizzard winds. It was f*cking.cold. I tried to maintain perspective - we were sharing a place with homeless people. How cold must they be? I tried to be worldly and understanding, but you know what? Around 1AM I started to lose it. We had been up for 18 hours, I was tired, my dinner had been apple pop tarts from a vending machine, and Jesus gay did I want to get home.

The 3:55AM Amtrak looked magnificent as it charged towards the station, lamps gleaming, snow falling gently around it. I half expected some elves to serve me hot chocolate on board, all Polar Express and sh*t. The conductor applauding us for signing our tickets ahead of time was enough (though I wanted to say, what else were we doing during our 5 hour layover that would've taken us away from the ever-important signing of the ticket?). I stretched out on two seats and tried to sleep. The door of the train froze shut. Whatever. I figured if I had to peel the rubber gasket from the window and jump onto the platform at South Station to get home I would.

At 7AM the train came to a grinding halt in Penn Station. The friendly conductor starts moving through the train. "You gotta get off" he says, "we're not going to Boston." "But that's where I'm going!" the passengers lament. "Go to customer service, they'll help." We gather our crap and head to the Amtrak area at Penn. We get to the window and I explain that we were on train 91, bound for Boston, and it just stopped here. Could we buy another ticket for another train to Boston? "Ain't no trains going to Boston" Amtrak lady says. "I can get you a ticket back to Baltimore though" she reassures me. In my head, I want to leap across the counter, tackle her and say "WHY THE F*CK WOULD I WANT TO GO BACK TO BALTIMORE!" I didn't though. Jail is probably colder than the Baltimore train station. I take a breath. I say "Ok, so what do we do." She offers us a refund. Whatever. We soon learn that the snow is not the issue with Amtrak, but downed power lines in Massachusetts. Great. At least we had made it to NYC, a place where you can get food 24/7- for that fact alone, I was grateful. We hopped on the subway to Port Authority to try our luck with buses. As soon as we said "Boston" we got a "no" head nod. OOOOKKKKKK. Back to Penn we went.

I spent the next seven hours wondering when we'd make it home. I knitted. I read a book. I looked for places to charge my electronics. I spilled my entire coffee moments after purchasing it, then felt so bad I offered to clean it up myself. "No no!" the ladies cried, "we get it!" They were probably worried I'd spill something else. I brushed my teeth in the squalor that is the Penn Station ladies room (cleaner than Port Authority, my friends). At 2PM (this is Wednesday, now, and we hadn't had more than 2 hours of sleep in.....a long time) Jam cracked. "WE ARE GETTING A HOTEL ROOM" he declared with manly, husbandly authority. Never have I been so willing to be the dutiful, subservient female in all my life, that is how desperate I was for a bed with a blanket and hot water. When we left Penn, NYC was bustling around us. I grew to respect NYC after six years of visiting Jam there, but at that moment, my heart swelled with love. I wanted to kiss the sidewalk and every hot dog vendor and bootleg cd hawker in sight. After the empty echo-y halls of BWI and the desertion of the train station, NYC was an elixir of life! "Jamaal!" I cried, "Let's go to Old Navy and buy clean clothes - I have the credit card, my treat!" After checking into to the shaky Hotel Pennsylvania, we went to find clean clothes (my suitcase actually smelled by this point, I swear), then we finally took a nap. We had been awake, more or less, for 33 hours. We looked like this:

The end of our journey home was uneventful. We called friends for dinner and went to BBQ's where I ordered a "Texas-sized" drink called a "cherry bomb" which tasted like a cherry popsicle. The drink was as big as my head and came with a shot of 151 in a test tube stuck into the frozen glory of the drink. It was really just what I needed.

We boarded our train at 7AM the next morning, now 45 hours (adjusting for the time difference) after waking up in SD to leave. Luckily, there were no snags on the way home. We made arrangements for my mother to fetch us from the Red Line. The day's only catastrophe was me spilling an entire medium french fry on the tracks in a feat of spasticity the likes of which Boston has not seen in a while. It was sad, but I need to lose like, 15 pounds anyways.

We were delighted to come home to our cozy apartment and our bird children. We had fretted about them the whole time we were trapped; my sister had been petsitting, but left on Tuesday afternoon, assuming we'd be back by 10PM Tuesday night - she then proceeded to get snowed in at my parents, where they also had no power. She was worried that we had lost power also, and we'd come home to find our birds sitting on their perches, lifelike, but frozen to death. Luckily our landlord works for National Grid and typed our address into the computer, and was able to see we had power. Thank goodness.

And here we are two weeks+ later, where life has taken on its normal winter pace, where I avoid going out except to work or to the occasional social gathering, I eat a lot, lament about how I should be out jogging, then declare it too cold to exercise and sit on the couch and knit instead. Life is good. I have no real complaints.

I've been MIA for THREE WEEKS?!

2011-01-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

Don't worry world, I'm still here!

In response to my last post, the work world came crashing down on me last week, and I am now forced to deal with the terrible, procrastination, sloth, and disorganization that has been ruling my work life. As much as it kind of sucked to be asked point blank why I was "so far behind" it did give me a sense of great satisfaction to reply "because I do the work of two salaried employees." This did not take away from the fact that our project is behind and there are people expecting results. It did prompt me to make an elaborate spreadsheet with all my overdue projects on it, complete with tasks listed by the person to whom the project is owed/subject and in order of importance. I felt organized for a few minutes! Then I just felt overwhelmed. Mostly because these projects are for a group that did not give us a due date for two years, then decided that January 31, 2011 would be the magical due date for "all the things." Yeah, OK.

Other reasons I might be more behind than average:

That's San Diego for those of you unable to recognize the city skyline in my crapass night photography.

If I had to describe San Diego in a word, I'd probably choose "ideal." It's the perfect city. It's got nightlife, culture, great food, a TON of stuff to do, it's driveable (so unlike my home city of Boston) and the climate is amazing. The weather reminded me of the mountains of Costa Rica, a bit - it's chilly in the morning, but as the day progresses, it becomes sunny and beautiful. I guess this isn't actually normal for San Diego, as temps hovered around the mid to low 60's and the natives were disgruntled, but it was perfect for me! This was, once again, one of those trips where Jamaal was tied down by business obligations and I was free to wander and do all things touristy. I had a FAB time. Here's a large sampling:

Day One

We managed to go on a whale watch together. Here's a view of the city as we leave the dock.

Here's a Grey Whale tail. We saw several whales - lucky, but then again, 'tis the season of migration and we had a good chance of seeing at least one of these slow-swimming whales as they make their way down from the Bering Sea to Baja.

We saw a pod of hundreds of dolphins. If I had to estimate, I'd say maybe there were 300 in the pod...they swam right for our boat (we literally floated in place) and as they drew close, the captain started moving so the dolphins to could bow ride. It was one of the most awe-inspiring things I've ever experienced. This youtube video is almost identical to what we experienced.

This is the new Point Loma lighthouse. I actually drove out here a few days after this was taken.

Because rest and relaxation are for the week, I bounced off the whale watching boat and hopped on to another boat, the carrier USS Midway. I've been on an aircraft carrier once before, and it was a great experience. This was very different - I was on an active carrier - while that was exciting and educational, the Midway features TONS of information about each and every part of the ship, along with "scenes" set up in most of the rooms.

Like this, for example. This is the ship's operating room. The mannequins are so life-like that it was unnerving sometimes to come around the corner and see one standing there. I usually jumped because I am gullible like that. A free audio tour came with the price of admission, and this was great. Vets actually narrate parts of the tour, and it's amazing to hear from people who actually stood where you're standing on the ship.

Midway has a ton of aircraft on deck. If you have a plane buff in your family, they will die from all the awesomeness. My dad would've frothed at the mouth at the deck. This is the SH-3 Seaking which fetched the Apollo astronauts. Badass.

The bridge! It was the perfect day to visit the Midway because it was a weekday and a little chilly. The place felt deserted and there were no lines. I got to see the bridge no problem - I actually had to wait for enough people to join the group before our guide took us up!

View from the bridge. The airplane in the shot was being restored.

I figured I had earned Pinkberry, which I have now learned, is glorious. This is the new blood orange flavor. It was so frickin' good I took Jam there for dessert after dinner. When the employees there asked if I wanted to try the new blood orange flavor I said "I already have." The guy goes "that's impossible, it came out today!" I said "yeah, I know, I was here four hours ago." I think they were slightly horrified. I didn't care :)

Sunset from our room! That's the Hyatt in the distance.

Day Two

Decided to exercise the car a little by driving up to La Jolla. The animals there are the coolest. Here are some brown pelicans.

Someone told me to skip La Jolla unless I wanted to "look at women with tons of plastic surgery." Ouch! I went anyways, and am glad I did. I didn't notice women with plastic surgery, but I did see a lot of seals.

Cliffs - so pretty

Happy seal!

I ended the day in Balboa Park. It was crowded and not very pretty because of the time of year! The gardens were not in bloom and everything was kind of...eh...I would definitely give this place another try on a return trip. Oh also, I didn't hit up any of the museums while I was there because I was dead tired. Next time, next time.

Day Three, in which I shell out $40 to go to the San Diego ZOO!!!

I'm often iffy about zoos. I usually get all excited to go and then end up depressed as hell, thinking of all the little animals in their very small spaces. In the case of the San Diego Zoo though, I wanted to keep in mind a bunch of things, two being that it is a multiply-accredited zoo focused on education and conservation. It also has an endangered species breeding program. I took a deep breath, hawked up my $40, and went in. And oh my, was it great. Here, a Calamian Deer and I take a look at each other.

I visited the zoo as soon as it opened, which was a nice time - we went back the next day in the afternoon, also and excellent time to visit. A lot of the animals were either still snoozing or doing morning things, like eating or preening. This is a Lesser Spot-Nose Guenon doin' his morning maintenance.

Because people are jerks, many complained about how the tapir was sleeping. Oh come on, how adorable is this snoozing Malayan Tapir?? FRICKIN CUTE. I snapped a pic and then tiptoed away.

Paradise Tanager! This is the most awesome bird of all time. The end.

Okapi, last living relative of the giraffe.

Condor - they were eating bunny rabbits when I got there. The kids had one of two reactions: *horror* "Is that a rabbit??!!!" *fascination* "It's eating a RABBIT!"

Meerkat Manor. Awrrr.

Giraffidae, as we used to say in Kenya.

After five hours at the zoo, I decided to hit up Point Loma/Cabrillo National Monument so I could get off my feet for a little while.

View of the city. Just gorgeous

The cliffs at Point Loma. I had to wait like, 465 minutes to get a shot without people in it

That's the car I got in a Hertz upgrade. WORTH IT.

We stayed in the Gaslamp Quarter. Also worth it, so fun. And we were basically diagonally across the street from Pinkberry.

Day Four

Decided to see what the hype was about and drove over to Coronado Island. I actually screamed as I crossed the Coronado Bridge, I found it terrifying. It's high enough to accommodate large ships...and high enough to scare the cccrrraappp out of me. Also, the sides are only 34 inches high. I would like a steel fortress surrounding me when I cross a bridge like that. eeeeeek. Luckily, once in Coronado, I was quite relaxed and fancy free. Above is the famous Coronado Hotel. It's gorgeous.

The beach is frickin' nice. The sand is raked and free of crap like, oh I dunno, trash, glass, hypodermics - free of the stuff you used to find on Nantasket. ha.

There's Point Loma!

I hadn't touched the Pacific since 2007. Long overdue. I stuck my feet in. It was cold as balls, like, Maine Atlantic cold. Of course that's the Maine Atlantic in the summer, whereas this was dead winter....

Return to the zoo! I went with my honey this time. Another $40. Yup. Probably why I felt so broke after coming home.

Koala! I had skipped this the day before because the poor things were MOBBED. The glory of going on a Monday afternoon is that the zoo was emptying out when we arrived around 12:45-1PM. The stroller quotient was reduced by about 75%. Don't get me wrong, I love a place that is accessible to all, but when being a pedestrian becomes a hazard because there are so many strollers shoved into one place and occasionally ramming into me? Yeah, I get crankified. Anywho, Koala!!!!

Secretary Bird

Jamaal and the lion. We couldn't get any closer because the other rabid tourist were in the way, stepping on the zoo's landscaping to get a closeup of the lion. Whatever, tourists.

Speke's Gazelle. Not the kind I ate in Africa.

Wolf's Guenon. Baby played with his toy while the adults preened each other.

Baby tried to help but was reprimanded several times!

Flamingos. Loved the light, wish I had zoomed in a bit more....

Day Five

I took this pic before heading to the airport. It's kind of awful. I fiddled with it a lot on Picasa (moment for how I need Photoshop?!) The problem is this: I am pale, Jam is dark (just typed that the opposite. oy). The camera does not adjust very well for our biracialness, so I usually look washed out as hell, and Jam looks fairly well-balanced. It sucks. I messed around and got this. Not too bad, but the picture looks a little grainy. Eh well. This is our one pic together from the trip!

Day five (technically six) marked our regretful departure from SD. Goodbye city of warmth and sunshine! We took off for our stopover at O'Hare and arrived to this:

And with that, I leave you.
More tomorrow. I've gotta make dinner and watch Inception

Resolving to....

2011-01-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

You ever have a project that you avoid tackling because you have no clue how to start?

Yeah, I'm at that point right now - only it's at work!

Usually work is my "let me go in, get sh*t done, and get out" place, the place where I know how to do everything, a place where I might procrastinate, but my stuff gets finished, maybe the day before it's due, but it gets DONE. Home is usually the place where I have about a billion projects stacked up and have no idea where to even start, and I get so overwhelmed I sit on the couch and watch a mind-numbingly stupid reality series marathon...like Jerseylicious (ps - anyone watched that? It's ridiculous....yet so addictive. One girl's lip gloss is the exact shade of her skin, except iridescent. I find myself fascinated...)

So yeah, here I am at my desk, looking at a spreadsheet sent to me nearly two months ago for modification and I have no freakin' clue how to fix it. And I'm kind of in that situation where I should ask for help, specifically from the woman who sent it, but it's been so long since she sent it I'm embarrassed to send her anything but the completed project, or at least, a project that's completed to the best of my abilities that she'll have to heavily modify. Oy. Disaster. I have about four or five of this type of project to complete too, nevermind catching up my project that is behind a year. YES. We're behind a year.

The good thing? Despite the general disorganized state of our apartment, I feel that this year I can really meet a couple of my new year's resolutions: 1. be more organized/neater 2. finish unfinished projects 3. destash/declutter. I feel so ready to tackle these things! I have plotted on the Container Store's website, I have organized my Ravelry queue and have plans to photograph projects and yarns to upload them to my profile, so I can keep things in order. I am ready to organize my binder of recipes, to make the switch from scrapbooking with paper and glue to making edgy photo books on Blurb, ready to tag my Flickr photos, ready to visit the dry cleaner's once a week until my laundry bag of dry cleaning is gone. I'm ready to clean out my car and keep in clean, even treat the poor gal to a car wash every couple of weeks. I'm ready to commit to monthly pedicures with my sister, because they're only $20 near my office and they're WORTH the indulgence. I feel so ready to ATTACK......EVERYTHING....except my JOB....AHH! This never happens to me! Ironic.

I suppose it's good that I'm actually paid to do my job, so somewhere, deep down, I know I'll find the motivation I need. Part of the problem was the last few weeks of December. I admit, seeing that pedestrian accident left me terribly shaken. I am a LOT better now, especially after having this wretched emotional catharsis on Christmas Eve, but work the week before and after Christmas was highly unproductive, partly due to the endless questions of coworkers, wanting to know all the details of the accident, partly do to the fact that the woman's face was on the work intranet - I couldn't escape what had happened and it left me paralyzed. I am still freaked out by it - nearly getting side-swiped last night left me this shaky, anxiety-ridden mess - but I feel like pieces are slowly falling back into place. I think they're coming easier at home because that's a "safe space" (forgive the stupid cliched "buzzword" lol) and taking some time at work because I still arrive a bit rattled after stepping off the shuttle bus. I guess everything will come together soon, and I'll be back to my old self, ready to tackle the work world. For now I guess I'll just have to take it one project at a time. Eek, and ask for help, even if a project is two months late. Luckily I am excellent at writing humorous self-deprecating work emails that almost always evoke a sympathetic response. Go me.

A picture, because my blog is getting wordy and boring:

View from our apartment. We face north, so we get lovely sunsets visible from the living room, dining room and kitchen windows. I love it, though now that it's January, I mostly get home after dark. Just something to look forward to when the long days of summer are back.

2011-01-02T18:02:00.000-05:00

My sister has an awesome tumblr - I love it, though the concept of tumblr kinda escapes me. I had to steal this, because it's Little Women. Not only am I absolutely in love with that movie, but I'm in love with all the elements that make Little Women special. For each individual, this might be different. For me, it's specialness is this: it's setting (though yes, the movie was filmed elsewhere) - I'm from Massachusetts and love Concord, and love the transcendentalists that called the Concord area home in Jo and her parent's time, I love the coziness of the winter scenes and the green vibrance of the spring and summer. I love the bond between the sisters, I love Jo's rejection of what is "expected" of her, of what is "proper." I love that Amy grows up before our eyes. I love Beth's quiet fearlessness, Marmie's strength, and Meg's practicality, which she set aside for John (I love their wedding scene so much that I chose "For the Beauty of the Earth" for the bridesmaid's processional at our wedding!). I love that Jo sets out for New York on her own, in a time when that probably wasn't common, or maybe even frowned upon for a single woman! Oh, and that scene with Friederich at the opera? Oh my.

Little Women is filled with several fresh starts and second chances (as well as love, life, death, humor, and happiness). It feels like the right way to start off the new year on this blog. I'm so looking forward to a new start this 2011, since 2010 ended a bit oddly and abruptly. I know the "new year" feeling is mostly in my head, but I love the thought of a fresh start.

Marmee March: Oh, Jo. Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life? You're ready to go out and - and find a good use for your talent. Tho' I don't know what I shall do without my Jo. Go, and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things come of it.

Photo

CHIB: So someone awesome decided to do their Top 100 Movies and well, I couldn’t let this one slide. So for the next 100-ish days (I know I’ll be skipping here and there) I present my Top 100 Movies (in absolutely no order because after the top 3 or so, I can’t decide).

100. Little Women

“Change will come as surely as the seasons and twice as quick. We make our peace with it as best we can. Or as Amy once said when she was still a little girl, ‘We’ll all grow up someday. We might as well know what we want.’”

Better Today

2010-12-22T10:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, the shuttle bus I was riding to work hit a woman and killed her. It was pretty much the most horrifying thing I've ever witnessed/been through.

I don't really want to go into detail, to be honest. My coworkers and family heard about it, asked me about it, and I answered their questions. The police have my statement. I think that once their investigation closes, they will find that it was simply a tragic accident. Our bus had a green light, the woman, who actually used to work at the same hospital as me, just stepped in front of the bus. Maybe she was distracted, maybe she had headphones on, maybe the "walk" light on the crossing signal was faulty and lit, I don't know.

What I do know is this - be careful out there. Pay attention. Look both ways when you cross the street, even if you have the light. Drive carefully - don't run red lights or blast out of an intersection as soon as the light turns green. More than anything else, be grateful you're alive, grateful for every day that you're given. Life is short, and can end so abruptly. Even if you're tired, stressed, sad or angry, be glad you're here. That's all.

Christmas from the Ground Up

2010-12-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

My parents house come the first week in December is a Christmas explosion...in the best possible way. My mother has amassed an impressive amount of Christmas "things" over the years: dishtowels, santas, angels, a full willow tree nativity set (which I love and envy!), dozens of ornaments from trips with my dad, a set of Christmas dishes, several Christmas cross stitch pictures that replace the nautical ones that normally hang on our walls, etc. It's a holiday wonderland without being too much - I know it probably sounds like too much, but it's all tasteful and lovely.

When it comes to decorating, I do try to copy my mom to a certain degree, I won't lie. I tend to like the same colors she does when it comes to paint, prefer hardwood to carpet, don't like fussy curtains or fussy throw rugs, don't like too much clutter. I think I add a little "travel flair" to our apartment with my relics from Africa, the small things we collected in Costa Rica and Jamaica, and a few things inherited from relatives here and there, including pictures from Aruba that are painted on butterfly wings that are backed with newspaper dated from the early 40's. Naturally when it comes to the holidays, I want to have a winter wonderland too, but with a little twist of Allison...but I have not spent the last 18 years or so collecting Christmas goodness...so what to do?

Decorating is a lot of work, I have discovered, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I have loved every second of it, every finger stabbed with a pin sewing a tree skirt, blisters from my circle punch for garland-making, every burn I've sustained from the glue gun. I'm started to slowly transform each room. Jam mocked me at first, but upon the official hanging of the first garland, he said "Wow. Looks good! I like it!" I am not quite finished with all the decor, but I think everything is going to come together nicely, and that excites me. I'll have to share some pics later!

As for the tree, that was a hilarious escapade. I wanted a live tree because that's what I'm used to, it's what I grew up with, and there's a nursery about 1 minute away from our apartment selling trees. I arrived there at 4:58 on a Monday night, with about two minutes to run around the lot and find a tree. Jamaal had said "don't get anything huge." I chose a modest-sized tree, only slightly taller than me (or so it seemed), paid for it, and was sent out with the "tree boy" to get it onto/into my Subaru. "It's my first day" the tree boy said. "It's my first tree" I replied. "What to we do?" asked tree boy. "I could just shove it in the back," he observed, "I have the same car, and I know I could fit this tree in the back of my Forester." "Uhhhhhh. I guess that'd be ok" was my stupid reply. Five minutes later, I'm driving home with the tailgate open, the hazards flashing, and a piece of fir tree stabbing me in the neck. Luckily the drive was short. I had been irritated by my husband's lack of enthusiasm for a Christmas tree, so I bitterly dragged the tree to the door by myself. It was light, and carrying it wasn't an issue. The truly large proportions of the tree did not hit me until I tried to drag it through our narrow back door and winding staircase. The tree was, basically, too fat. I turned it trunk first and yanked, squeezed it through the door and up the stairs into our living room. All traces of annoyance that had been on Jam's face (probably annoyed that I was so bitchy about the tree) were replaced by sheer amusement. "I'm so sorry!" I said, "I had NO IDEA how huge this tree would be once taken out of the tree lot and put in our home. Ohmygod. Sorry!!!!" I think Jamaal found the situation pretty funny. He was a great help when it came time to put the tree in my Target-purchased stand, which now seemed comically small. We managed though - we got the thing upright and even, and had to "straighten and redo" the whole stand process only one time. Our tilted apartment floors made everything a tiny bit of a challenge, but in what seemed like a short time, our tree was ready for the lights I had so lovingly picked out and purchased.

As for the lights, remember those berry lights I loved? The LED ones? Yeah, when we got to Target, there

was one box left. I bought those and some round lights, both in soft white, thinking "they'll match, and next year, I'll buy the berry ones for the tree, and use the plain rounds to decorate something else." I bought three boxes, thinking that there'd be plenty of yardage for our tree. Ha ha stupid. The three strands covered about half the tree. Not to be deterred, I arranged to get a ride home from work from my sister the following night so we could stop at the Target at South Bay for a more extensive search. She found two boxes of soft white led round lights. How she did this, I have NO idea, because all I could find were blue and pink. She's a rockstar. Thinking that five strands would seal the deal, I rushed home to complete the tree. I was short AGAIN. UGH. The following Thursday I went to two Targets, in Hanover and Abington, in search of more lights (because these were LED and a specific brand seemingly only sold at Target, I was trying to match what I had....if I weren't so frickin' type A, I would've gone to Home Depot, bought the first strand of soft white lights I saw, and called it a day). Anyways, my lights were gone. Totally gone. I finally dug out my old twinkle lights from my college dorm days, threw them on the tree, and was DONE. Actually, it doesn't look half bad:

Now that the ornaments are on it, and the rest of the house is in the Christmas spirit, it actually looks quite lovely. The family came over yesterday, and they all gave it their stamp of approval. I love how we went from fiasco to success :-) I love how I managed to create my own little Christmas explosion. Next up: decorations!

Observation

2010-12-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

Isn't it kind of amazing when you an encounter an adult that will not take responsibility for his/her actions?

I work with a doctor. I'm in Boston, but she's at least a thousand miles away. She couldn't make a meeting and had her assistant try and set up a way for us to get in touch. I told her and her admin that it REALLY might not work and worse comes to worse, call my cell and I'll put her on speaker. The meeting comes. No calls. No emails. We have no way to get in touch with her, because I gave her MY cell and had no contact # for her office (though this is my fault entirely, I should've asked for one...but to be fair, I was emailing her from the airport the whole time...still though, that bit is my fault). This morning I come in to find an email forwarded to me from my boss, and scroll down to find this whole big exchange about all the ways the other doc and her admin tried to get in touch with me and how my phone went right to voicemail (we had terrible reception in the conference room and NO INTERNET) and how the doc had a webcam and was ready to participate but she couldn't and she's *soooo* upset because there were things she had to say, etc, etc, etc, blah damn.

The thing is, it's not like she had to be at this meeting - there's not consequence for her not being there, and we weren't even able to discuss the things she had on the agenda, we need to schedule another call for that. My point is, why wouldn't you say "I guess we had technical difficulties and I wasn't able to join the call despite trying - can we schedule a call to catch up?" But no, it's "Allison's phone went right to voicemail and I tried to get in touch but SHE was unavailable. Now I don't know the status of my project.

Really? Grow up. Take some responsibility for your own sh*t. Ugh.

Pandora "Peaceful Christmas" *switching on*

Rage! Rage!

2010-12-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

I wrote a rage work post....

Yup...

Rage at the stats people, rage at my former boss, rage at the microwave hogs.

Rage, rage, and moRE RAAAGE.

Then I turned on Pandora's "Peaceful Christmas" station.....

And I kinda got over it.

Except the microwave rage...that's still there....don't hog it for five minutes, take your food out, eat it in front of the microwave, then decide it's not warm enough just as I'm about to warm up my leftovers. UNCOOL.

32. Go to the Top of a Lighthouse

2010-12-08T07:18:00.007-05:00

As we climbed to the top I said "Wait! I think this is on my 101 things to do in 1,001 days list!"

It was! I can't believe I actually completed a task on this list without any planning, completely last-minute on the fly. Love it!

Negril Lighthouse, Negril, Jamaica

Swimming With the Dolphins

2010-12-07T15:18:00.000-05:00

I landed in Orlando

2010-12-03T20:27:00.000-05:00

Figured out the rental cars, picked some subcompact thing, programmed the GPS and set out...

As I curved around an on-ramp and saw a marshy area with palms and egrets and looked out to the flat land beyond the highway, all I could think was "Kenya."

Could I be any crazier? Something somewhere every day reminds me of Africa... I suppose this is good in a way...I'm not forgetting it, it's always on my mind. Ha. I am sure everyone is sick of me talking about it too...but it's like malaria, it gets in your blood and it never never really goes away. Ever.

I wonder when I'm going back? I hope I don't have to wait too long...it is really really lovely and wonderful.

In other news, I'm swimming with the dolphins tomorrow....which is nothing like anything I did in Africa, so for a while, I might shut up about it and just talk dolphins!

Thanksgiving II

2010-11-26T23:11:00.001-05:00

aka leftover night has left me filled....
with serious over-eating/food regret.
UGHHHHHHH WHY'D I EAT SO MUCH PIE AND DRINK SO MUCH WINE!!
AAAHHHHH!!!

Come Ye Thankful People Come!

2010-11-25T04:00:00.003-05:00

Come, ye thankful people, come,

Raise the song of harvest home;

All is safely gathered in,

Ere the winter storms begin.

God our Maker doth provide

For our wants to be supplied;

Come to God's own temple, come,

Raise the song of harvest home.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Working Here

2010-11-24T08:43:00.000-05:00

I can be super-immune sometimes when it comes to illness and death - immune as in my office mate and I talk about the terrible cases we've reviewed that day, or say things like "if it was me, I'd stop treatment, go to Hawai'i with my morphine and OD on the beach." or "if it were a choice between mastectomy/prostatectomy/whatever-ectomy or death, I'd give up the breasts/prostate/whatever." We talk about "end of life care" on a regular basis here, we debate the ethics of continuing to treat a patient's cancer when there's no chance of survival, whether it's giving a patient false hope to enroll them on a clinical trial that may not work. I see sick people every day, sick babies, bald little kids, girls my age getting chemo for breast cancer, grannies who should be at home gardening being wheeled through the halls....it sucks, but I feel immune most of the time. People see ads for the pediatric cancer charity run by my hospital and say "how do you do it?" I tell them "I'm not treating these kids, I'm not a parent to these kids. I see them in the halls and elevators and in the cafeteria and all I think is "there's some sick kids here to get better." My interactions are brief and rarely personal. I've become unphased by blood, vomit, hearing people vomit, body fluids, visible tumors, graft versus host disease, etc.

There is, however, one thing I will never get over - seeing one of our patients go down...."go down" as in just drop, wherever they were standing. It's scary, scarier to me than the people who are so sick they come here by ambulance. I mean, if you are going down, you want it to be here - the guy I just saw, middle-aged, bald, probably once a big guy but now reduced by chemo, whose knees just seem to give out right from under him - he's going to be fine. He had three construction workers, two security guards, at least three oncologists, and three or four nurses surrounding him, an admin running with an IV pole towards him as well as a couple Boston policeman who happened to be working a detail nearby. They obviously called a code because as I stepped into the elevator, another doctor was running out. It the great shuffle of people, he was actually trying to get up and into a wheelchair by himself. Obviously he's just having a lousy day, and we see people having crappy reactions to their treatment ALL THE TIME. Despite that I'm still worried about him as I sit here at my desk. Because we're an outpatient facility, having patients drop where they stand is not the norm, and I think it is a reminder of how sick most of the people really are. The brave faces they put on for us while they're here are amazing.

I guess the point of my post is that seeing all this is a reason to be thankful - it's fitting, given Thanksgiving is tomorrow, that I come up with something for which I am thankful, and that is, without a doubt, my health and the health of my husbando and family and friends. We're so lucky to be well this Thanksgiving, to be able to gather together and share a meal, watch the Pats game, take a snooze after dinner and probably play an exhausting game of Cranium because Auntie Jayne looks forward to it all year - for all those great and small things I love or love to hate about the holiday, I am grateful.

2010-11-23T22:24:00.001-05:00

Not blogging tonight!
Pie phase I/III done.
G'night!

That damn bike!

2010-11-22T22:44:00.000-05:00

I got on. I rode it for 12 miles.
I feel BADASS!!!!
Well, right now I feel badass.
Tomorrow, I think I'll be filled with slight regret as I pay for my overzealousness with very sore muscles!

For a laugh: damnyouautocorrect.com

Sunday Night

2010-11-21T23:14:00.000-05:00

This weekend ran me ragged. Ugh.
It included lots of cleaning, rehabbing the old fish tank, framing and hanging seven pictures, doing five loads of laundry (not alone! I helped Jam by requesting Dunkin Donuts and complaining!), an mini emotional breakdown, and eating at least two meals out.

Needless to say, I am glad:

I survived the weekend (and I owe you a phone call EE)
I feel like I accomplished things
Our exercise bike is coming tomorrow so I can stop feeling so gross
It is a short work week
The PATRIOTS beat the COLTS. YEEEEhhhhhhaaaaWWWWWW

I regret:

Eating about two pounds of gummy frogs. My parents had the wedding leftovers and gave them to me. YUM!!!!....oh wait, a wad of gummy candy in my tum. booooooo.

I am apprehensive of:

Being in charge of three pies for Thanksgiving
My first Thanksgiving away from home(!)

I am looking forward to:

Making the three Thanksgiving pies
Trying something new (traveling to the in-laws) for Turkey Day!! I know I have won the "good daughter-in-law prize" already for bringing dessert. No need to dwell on the fact that I am the only daughter in law, lol!
GETTING ON THAT DAMN BIKE! AH!
The end of Thanksgiving, which to me marks the beginning of "advent" if you will - the magic of the Christmas season, both "secular" and not. We skipped church today but I made Jam promise we'd be there for all the Advent Sundays, I find them so lovely.

Things I'm really worried about:

Getting overwhelmed. I got a second (though very very part time) job this weekend and am looking forward to learning some new things (it's in a flower shop), but I'm mildly worried that I won't get to enjoy the holidays as much because I'll be stressed. Here's to not letting that happen and enjoying every moment, surrounded by family and FRIENDS.

And here's to a good night. Phew.

Road Rage

2010-11-20T19:22:00.000-05:00

*in my fantasy world*

Somewhere in a large parking lot, the supermarket, perhaps, or Wal-Mart.

I am pushing a cart, very zen.

Suddenly, I see a familiar car.

I stop, and pull something from my oversized bag.

"Volvo, 22H Y54?! Remember me? Subaru Forester? You blatantly cut me off by taking a left in front of me as I was taking a right from Quincy Ave to Faxon Park Road? Then you even MORE blatantly gave me the finger for no apparent reason?!!! Remember?? Well, I have really been hoping we'd meet again....."

Snarkmonster

2010-11-19T15:22:00.000-05:00

Was asked to participate is someone's annual review.
I work pretty far away from this person and do not see this person....ever, basically, but we have contact via phone and email. And just to cover my ass, the person does not work in the same place as me, not even the same state, and that's about all I'll tell you about that....

I usually ace review writing, especially since Jamaal taught me this concept he learned in MBA school:
pet, kick, pet. It works wonders! Basically you do this: "Jim, we love having you as a part of our team. It's a shame your work is so substandard when compared to the rest of our employees. We love you so much though, and we want to give you another chance, so go out there and do something other than playing Angry Birds on your iPhone all day!"

I use the method all the time. People don't even realize you're scolding them half the time. Usually they just nod like a bobblehead. Too bad I have to send this review via email and can't see it happen in person.

Actually, the employee in question is, overall, an excellent one. But there are, uh, issues. I had to list this person's strengths and weaknesses. Here's what the review looked like:

Strengths: conscientious, attentive to detail, quick when responding to requests, dependable, accurate
Weaknesses: trouble multitasking, has to catch up after many sick days this year, hurt by odd data-processing mechanisms at office (though this is out of employee's control)

What I really wanted to write:

Strengths: perfectionist ad nauseum, able to write sinister email that sends people running to me for help, able to make someone switch their job because of negative interactions, able to make psychotic flow chart
Weaknesses: EXTREME PARANOIA, time-wasting due to perfectionism....and trouble multitasking.

but even the "pet kick pet" method wouldn't have softened the blow of "paranoia" lol.

Sometimes I wonder if I have "enemies" at the office and if my enemies had to partake in my review, what would they write?

I think it would be something like this:
Strengths: talking, typing, being someone's b*tch, multitasking (for real, I work 3 jobs here, 1 full time, 2 part time lol), calming people the f*ck down, monitoring the bathroom (long story) and bringing in holiday baked goods
Weaknesses: occasional bouts of extreme lassitude, eats at desk, tries to please everyone and often fails, messy desk, kills house plants, kills pet fish, prints too many personal documents on printer, goes to Tuesday meetings for the free breakfast......

.....um, I think I'll stop myself there...and reread what I wrote about that employee. Yikes! Self-criticism was hard enough to take, I can't imagine getting it from thousands of miles away. Lesson learned.

Seriously though, I wonder if someone at work can't stand me? If so, then I wonder why? I wonder what all my annoying work habits might be? None of my coworkers read this blog (I don't think...maybe they do in secret!) sadly, so I'll probably just continue to bug the hell out of everyone for years to come, lol. I wonder if other people on the project see me as a weak link in the chain. Uh, probably not, I work fairly hard..still though, this review thing has me wondering how others see my work and my role. Hmmmm. Something to think about for the weekend I guess!

Unintended Exchange

2010-11-18T23:10:00.020-05:00

I arrived home tonight with a big bag of goods from the Paper Source.
I finally bought some archival-quality, rustic, and perfectly shaded paper to back the Audubon prints - and I found some re-positionable glue dots to go with them.

I bought this:

Thinking "a mistletoe kit! It will look adorable hanging from the archway between the living and dining rooms! How charming! I will be able to trick people into kissing in our house! yay!"

And these, thinking "cards that are mittens! They're a blank slate too! I will embellish them in an adorable nordic pattern with glue and glitter and tuck them into the ornament swap packages I'm sending out!!"

I casually browsed through the holiday displays before getting in line. I did cut myself off when I saw this:

I still think it's a little early for wreath-time....

As I waited in line, I looked at kits containing these two things:

And wondered how the snowflakes would look hanging amidst the mistletoe (glittered, of course) and whether I could fashion a leafy branch out of paper upon which to hang those cheerful red cardinals. Lost in my thoughts, I actually let the cashier overcharge me for the flat paper, which I didn't even realize until I was on the T.

I was at home when I realized that I had left a bag behind at the Paper Source, containing a tupperware with left over Shepherd's pie and a pair of Old Navy flats that are not expensive, but are adorable and have only been worn twice. TWICE.

Efffffffffffffffffff.

Not that I think they won't be there when I go to the store tomorrow to fetch my grimy bag of leftovers and cute shoes....but still....

EFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Diet and Exercise

2010-11-17T15:35:00.001-05:00

yeah, I know they're practically swear words (to me at least), but my alumnae e-zine put out this article today, and I found myself nodding along with huge sections of it...and then found myself saying "aw CRAP, that's me!"

This was particularly striking:

On cravings

There are two versions of women—the well-rested version and the not-well-rested version. When you’re not rested is when you make your worst food choices. Making sure you have protein and fat, and not just sweets and carbs, will ensure that you won’t crave more sweets and carbs

Balls. I'm not rested. And I totally make bad food choices. I know I need protein and "good" fat. Instead, I boil like, half a pound of spaghetti. Why? Cause it's fast, easy, and it tastes delicious. I'm back to drinking a lot of soda, cause the bubbles feel so good ("it feels so good when it hits your lips" lol). I'm sluggish. I'm getting out of shape. Even worse, I'm LAZY as sh*t. I kid you not. I come home and do an occasional free weight routine or some Jillian Michaels, but now that it's dark, I'm happy to throw on my PJ's and knit in front of my Netflix Instant Watch Queue. Terrible.

While I do like a lot of what the article says, I'm not about to go crazy vegan or anything. I might take a look at some of the steps Dr. Laura recommends, like mixing whole wheat and white flour when cooking (though not in the Thanksgiving pies!) and trying to find healthier snacks and appetizing lunch options (today's lunch: spaghetti, because I didn't make my usual turkey BLT. Dang carbs).

Jam and I also invested in a folding exercise bike. We both agree that the likelihood of us exercising outside now that I get home after dark is rather limited (this is the part where I'd argue a dog would come in handy, I'd have to go out to walk him/her...but our lease prohibits four legged friends at this point. boo). I'm determined to be a little slimmer by 2011 and above all, I'd really like to feel a bit more energized.

I know for me, it's not just diet. Like today - I slept in on purpose because I'm too lazy to get up at 6:20. I slept until 6:45, which means I have about 25 minutes to get ready and leave the house. I did shower (woohoo) but I did not: iron my clothes, style my hair, or put on makeup, except for spf 50 moisturizer. Do my coworkers care about this? Definitely, definitely NOT. Do I care? Mmmnnn not really...until I use the ladies room and see my reflection and I look like a mess! WTF did I leave the house looking so busted? I ironed everything yesterday and did my hair and felt good....today I feel gross. Trust me, I don't have self-esteem issues, I have presentation issues. Why don't I put the effort in? It's the whole vicious "I'm tired, I eat crap, I don't exercise cycle" rearing its ugly head. Definitely time for a little change. Time to bust out the clarisonic and blast my skin, iron my clothes with a real iron, and leave the house with a little spring in my step. I could definitely use it.

Do you ever feel like you need to push the "life" reset button and change things up??

2010-11-16T23:44:00.001-05:00

Today I drove my husband to Target to buy new socks. No, not because he *needed* them, but because we're too lazy to do laundry and all of his socks are dirty. That's kind of the state we're in right now...and I liken myself to a junior Martha Stewart - ha, as if!!!!

I did, however, replace my commuter coat today for an amazing price. Small victories, right?!

Confession

2010-11-16T08:44:00.000-05:00

Confession: We've been married for nearly 6 weeks and we haven't written a single thank you note.

Sigh.

Many would scoff at this - heck, if someone else told me they hadn't written their notes six weeks after their wedding, I'd laugh at them too. I'd be like "dude, relax, you *just* got married like, a second ago." Heck, it took my friend over two years to write a thank you to me. I'm not sure why, and actually, I was pretty damn confused when I got it in the mail a few months ago, but I still appreciated the gesture.

Why am I so uptight about it?

Of course part of it is because I'm so frickin' type A. Another huge piece of it is the fact that I finished my shower thank you's the day after the shower.....thereby setting myself up for internal wedding thank you fail unless I brought the notes on the honeymoon...because I had them...and customized stamps from zazzle to match. SICK.

I guess that's one thing that's on my list for this week. Along with ordering a compact exercise bike from Amazon, so I can stop feeling like "fat piles of fatness." Jam gets upset when I say this, but I actually stole the saying from a weddingbee board post because I thought it was so funny. The post itself turned creepy rather fast, because you had all these people coming out the woodwork who were like "I'm 5'10'' and weigh 115 but I'd really like to be down another 5 lbs" Sh*t, I ran away from there as fast as I could. I was like "Honey, I am 5'6'', weigh a fair amount more than you but could crush you with my THIGH." And I wasn't thinking that in an "I'm upset about my weight" type way, more like a "who would survive longer if we got lost on a trek through the Amazonian rainforest?? oh right, ME!" ha ha ha.

Seriously though, getting some of these "life" tasks in order are really going to help me out. I know I'm not getting enough exercise because I'm feeling sluggish and my clothes are tight (ha ha not pregnant, for the last time everyone...coworkers specifically....) and I'm tiiiiired all the time, even though I sleep like, forever. Getting the thank you's done will be one of the last wedding things I have to do (cleaning and preserving wedding dress, getting shoes cleaned and dyed, and sending out special bridesmaid thank yous round out the list of "remaining 5 wedding things to do."

Why am I hell-bent on getting life in order? Well, I think it might make things a little nicer. Less flippage. Like, I won't be doing the dishes one night and realize that we don't "have enough money for 'things.'" Maybe I'll get a better night's sleep and not be all procrastination and sloth at work. Maybe my pants will stop cutting off the circulation to my head. I dunno, maybe everything will be the same...hmmm except I would really like it if my pants weren't so tight.

In happy news, I think I have wrangled holiday crafting for the first time EVER! I think I'll actually be able to knit/craft everything and have it delivered/wrapped/given on time! This is a huge advance compared to holidays past, lol. I mean, I still owe EE the gay quilt, that's only four years overdue, but for this Christmas, I think I have it handled. Some of it is dumb luck...like socks - I am making some gift socks and they are already moving quickly and coming out quite nicely if I do say so myself:

- but I'd like to say it's less luck and more organized planning. Or maybe it's just the lack of wedding crap. Oh I don't know. I guess I should stop rambling so I can finish up my work for today and go home to craft. Ornament swap pals came out today and I'm ready to get started! YAY!

Aw crap....I have those thank you's though.....argh!

Sunday Post

2010-11-14T22:25:00.000-05:00

Oh noes! I failed "NaBloPoMo" by completely failing to post on Saturday.
I actually totally forgot.
Here are some photo highlights of the weekend to compensate (instead of my ranting!!):

Jamaal is excited about riding on the Kancamagus

The "Sister Wives" lol. Not really, but my sister calls Jam "my brother from another mother of another color" It's special

Should we put this on the Christmas card? *cackles*

Bridge/River off the Kanc

North Conway Five and Dime (we were shopped out so I snapped this from the car)

Back through the White Mountain National Forest via RT 302

That explains the "falling rock" sign...

The road stretches out before us.

302 took us by the beautiful Mount Washington Hotel

Gorgeous!

Pausing with the sis for a photo op

Getting closer to Littleton - I'm not sure we've ever made it there in the daylight!

Downtown Littleton - crapass picture, it's really lovely in person

CHUTTERS!!! WORLD'S LONGEST CANDY COUNTER!

Gummy eggs - these are an inside joke....as for gummy brains and gummy teeth? that's just impressive

The glory!

Even Jam had to indulge when he saw the "old school Halloween candy" (bull's eyes, boston baked beans, etc)

Jawbreaker on a stick....insane

So needless to say I can barely button my pants for the gluttony of the weekend....can't believe tomorrow's Monday and I ate all my candy from Chutters in less than 24 hours!!

NH

2010-11-12T22:23:00.000-05:00

We are in the great state of New Hampshire for the weekend!

What's in store??

Driving through the White Mountains on the "Kanc"

Outlet shopping, tax-free!!

Lunch at the Muddy Moose

Drive from North Conway to Littleton, through White Mountain National Forest

Visit to the world's longest candy counter....

Needless to say, there's plenty to be excited about...

Baking

2010-11-11T23:20:00.000-05:00

I was baking again tonight.

I should've been packing for our weekend away in NH or working on the two things I have due at work tomorrow, but I couldn't resist. Finally, a captive audience greater than two stuck with my baked goods! Glorious!

I began with chocolate cookies - easy and straightforward, and ended with pumpkin bread.

Downeast Maine Pumpkin Bread is one of my all-time favorite recipes. I think I love it because it combines a glorious mix of spices and taste better with time. Perfection.

We received a box of spices from Penzey's as a shower gift. Inside was a small bag with a round nut-looking thing inside. The label said "whole nutmeg." I didn't know if it had to be peeled or chopped or what. Google saved the day - I learned I could grate as needed with my microplane. I love how the inside looks! It also smells amazing when grated.

I make a big mess in our small kitchen whenever I cook. I also cook off my ipod, which you can see on the counter.

I especially love pumpkin bread because you add cinnamon, ground cloves, nutmeg and ginger on top of the dry ingredients. They contrast each other in a way I find quite lovely :)

Love my stand mixer!! Look at it go!

Baking also gives me a chance to use all my little baking tools that I've accrued over the last few years....like a mini snowman rubber spatula!

Naturally type-A me loves what happens AFTER baking - the restoration of kitchen to sparkling clean!! Ugh, note our horrid green floors!

Well the oven timer calls - seriously, try the pumpkin bread some day. It makes three decent sized loaves, taste better the day after it's made, pleases a crowd, etc....it's totally worth it!

Night night interwebs!

2010-11-10T23:44:00.001-05:00

I meant to post something interesting...but when I got home, I found that my sister-in-law sent us a microwave as a wedding gift. Honestly, I was so excited that ramen and easy Mac and popcorn could be a part of our lives again, all efforts to blog were promptly tossed out the window. More tomorrow!!

1 Month!

2010-11-09T15:47:00.000-05:00

Forgive the lameness of this post, but today is our 1 month wedding anniversary!

Before mocking me for getting excited about it, I have to admit, I didn't even remember until my mom mentioned it on Facebook. Yes, I did say "mom" and "facebook" in the same sentence, ha ha.

My coworkers are always asking me how I enjoy married life. Before I can say anything, they always answer the question for me: "well it must be hard because you've only been married for a month and you still have to work out a routine since you didn't live together very long before getting married, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Sigh.

I know they mean well most of the time. It's just that they're very very nosy and opinionated. I wouldn't have the balls to say have the crap they say to me back to them. Oh it would be glorious if I could be as snarkalicious to them....."the reason you are anxious about your son is because he has a warrant out for his arrest and is a deadbeat dad" or "the reason your daughter isn't looking for jobs close to home is because she doesn't want to move home with you after college." Then again, it's kind of not worth it and I try to be a nice person....but I digress.

So we've been married a month. It's been pretty good, I think. I mean, the only person who has really legit freaked out about sh*t has been me. Last night I had this moment where I basically decided that we didn't have enough money. You know, two twenty- and thirty-something fully-employed people with benefits, suddenly in my mind don't have *enough* money. Money for what you ask? Oh I don't know. I told this to Jam when he asked why I needed money - I said "FOR THINGS!!!!!" I clarified later with "a house, for kids, do you know how expensive it is to have a baby? And what about my car? My car won't last more than another two years!!!" Then I proceeded to imagine us living in our apartment forever, beholden to our pudgy, balding, and very whiny landlord...depression sets in...I imagine fitting small children and a dog into our apartment....momentary uplift as I imagine children and a dog, replaced by devastation as I realize they won't be able to run around and play in our miniscule yard (nevermind the fact that husbando grew up in a city, in an apartment, had plenty of space to run around and play, spent hours and hour playing outside with friends, etc...oh hell no, rational thoughts are long gone).....so then I go on to think of us in our apartment, which has, in my head, shrunk in size by about 80% to the point where suddenly we're living in a tenement heated by a woodstove and sans electricity, the only thing that thrives in the darkness and heat are germs (think NYC at the turn of the 19th century) ....then in my head, we're scrabbling in the streets for a crust of bread, dressed in nothing but gray rags....wait....that's Les Miserables.....

I hint at these fantasies to Jam and he looks at me and sighs and says "WHY are you thinking like this. Why are you about 25 steps ahead of where we need to be right now."
"I HAVE TO PLAN," I wail, "BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WILL."
Jam (mildly offended) "Uh, I plan. I plan all the time, but on a more reasonable level...like I plan the next 2 or 3 years. We're not at a point in our lives where we need to be planning 5 or 10 years from now."
I let his words sink in. Damn. They make sense. So I come back with this:
I NEED TO WORRY BECAUSE YOU DON'T.
Seriously, Jam needs one of those dart guns you see on Animal Planet that subdues the angry elephants. I am irrational and crazy sometimes. Last night was one of those times. I think I looked insane. I was ranting and gesticulating wildly and running around the house simultaneously yelling, crying, and cleaning. Of course thinking back on this now is hilarious. I'm actually laughing as I type this, that's how ridiculous it is, but at the time it was all so sad and tragic. I totally needed to be darted.

I guess one of the huge bonuses of being married is that you're there for your spouse when they really need something: comfort, reassurance, a valium with a shot of coconut rum....you're there for them. Jam was there for me. He gave me a big hug. He told me to calm down. He wrote out our finances on a pad of paper to tell me that we would not have to scrabble all 18th-century-style in the shadow of the Bastille. Oh relief.

Of course later we were talking about benefits and whether J should jump on my health insurance. He admitted that he's hesitant not only because my plan is a bit pricey, but because that would make me the primary insurance holder and what would that mean for him if I went out on maternity leave, etc. I looked at him and said "well I honestly do NOT know why you'd worry about something like that now, since we're years away from having a child and your benefit situation might completely change in that period of time. I don't get why you're so worried." His jaw dropped and his eyes got wide as if to say "woman, are you INSANE? I just spent an hour talking you from the ledge and now you're telling me to calm down?"

Marriage is all about equity, no?
ha ha ha

Luckily after that we mutually agreed to stop stressing and watched "I Shouldn't Be Alive" and "The Big C" to put our issues in perspective. It worked. As for tonight, I'm shelving the histrionics for a little quiet celebration time. We survived a month! Here's to many more years worth of months!

Work Rant

2010-11-08T15:54:00.000-05:00

I promise I'll write something more interesting than this for today's post, but I need a moment re: stuff happening at work.

I am not exactly a grammar and syntax queen when it comes to blogging, I totally admit that. Since I usually write as I think (and think in my speaking voice which is East Coast fast) I'll sometimes even type the wrong word in a post (e.g. "sail" instead of "sale" "right" instead of "write" homonyms - you get it).

I have been placed in charge of writing a cover letter for a manuscript we are about to submit to a scientific journal (for which grammar and syntax will be regarded with the utmost importance on my part!!). We have been waiting to submit this paper for four weeks because one of the potential co-authors has "comments and concerns" she's wanted to send.

She finally sends them today. As a statistician, I understand she is going to focus stats and everything she things we did wrong with the statistical analysis. That's fine. What's not so fine? The fact that all of her COMMENTS ARE IN CAPS WITH FRANTIC PUNCTUATION?!!?@?@?@?!???!?!?! And she loves to comment in fragment sentences that. Don't make a lot of sense. Because they are fragments. A lot of them.

It kind of makes me want to fling the paper against the back wall of my office. There's a lot of other drama going on with this person that I don't really want to (and probably shouldn't) write about here. It's amazing that she has the nerve to not only delay the submission by four weeks, but she also gives us nonconstructive (read: SH*T) comments. This person wasn't originally on our author list because she gave so little to this manuscript, but we extended the authorship invite for political reasons as well as out of pity. Just goes to show you were pity gets you. UGH.

Rant over! Back to working on this cover letter!

Sunday Craftasticness

2010-11-07T18:55:00.000-05:00

The photos make everything look pretty garish, but I did glitter some gourds:

More photos to come, maybe with the good camera!!

Saturday

2010-11-06T20:31:00.000-05:00

1. Pick up car with new brakes. No longer worry about being unable to stop.

2. Church fair. Three crochet-top hand towels (stop using paper towels to dry hands, save paper, environment, etc), one Christmas cactus, one clivia plant, one pumpkin bread, one apple walnut bread, and the last straw-barb jelly from our canning/jarring dive = $36

3. Visit friend whose husband died. Cry, talk for a long time, laugh a lot.

4. Get Dunkin Donuts for me and hubs

5. 2 hour nap

6. Movies and knitting

7. Walk down the hill and get subs for dinner

8. Netflix and more knitting

9. Raspberry Stoli, straight up double on the rocks

Full day. Maybe the not the most exciting day ever, but full and as good as it could be. I'll sleep well tonight.

Death of a Friend

2010-11-05T08:47:00.000-05:00

My friend, Roger, died on Tuesday.

This was expected, but it does not make it any easier, of course.
He had MS for a long time, and it came to the point where his body just couldn't keep up anymore.

I met him in middle school - he was my friends father. I knew him in this way for a long time (you know, in that way you know your friend's dad) but after I graduated from college, he and his wife asked me do a presentation on lions to their book club. Then they asked me to join.

I can't tell you what this meant to me. It felt like being allowed to join some sort of secret society, though the book club was anything but secret. As the youngest by about a generation, I felt like being asked to join was a great honor. The book club consisted of smart, heady group of people who always seemed to read and understand the books on an entirely different plane. Every meeting was a learning experience for me, and the few times I had knowledge to impart to the group, they listened intently to me.

That's what Roger did though - he connected people. While he was limited physically he was never limited mentally, and compensated for the physical with the mental 100-fold. He knew SO much, and if he hadn't experienced something, he usually knew someone who had, and knew how to get you two together to talk or email.

He had a great sense of humor too - I walked into his house one day and his back was to the door. I said "hello everyone" and he said "Is that Nancy?" Knowing he loved a dirty joke here and there, I walked around to face him and said "No it's me...but you can call me Nancy if you want." He laughed and laughed and then made me repeat that to everyone as they came in. That's how I'm going to remember him - quick to laugh, lover of a good joke, strong spirit, amazing courage, and quick wit. That was Roger.

Christmaspiration

2010-11-04T13:53:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I just used the word "Christmas" in my post title.

Thanksgiving = 3 weeks

Christmas = 7

I will now pause to allow blood pressures to return to normal.

I've posted here lots of times about Christmas and how I love it...oh and of course of my intense love for Thanksgiving too...but Christmas is special, and this year it will be EXTRA special. Why?

It's my first Christmas with the Jamonster. Though we've be

en together nearly 6 years, we've never spent a Christmas together...aaand....it's our first Christmas in our apartment.

I'm not getting too crazy with decorating the house for fall. We're not hosting Thanksgiving here (we'll be upstate with Jamaal's parentals), so I'm not going to leaf-garland the whole place. I did hang up our fall-oriented wedding centerpieces on the front an

d back doors:

Mum wreaths from the Paper Source

And I do intend to glitter some leftover wedding decoration gourds a la Martha Stewart (dammit she strikes again!):

I'll put them in the Charleston centerpiece bowl I received as a shower gift - it's been sitting empty on a shelf waaaay too long:

Beyond that though, my energies will probably focus on Christmas. I super-excited to be tackling non-wedding crafts again - I know I mentioned that earlier - but I'm also excited to bring a little cheer to our small apartment.

First off, we have to finish framing our Audubon prints. My roomie from undergrad gave me an amazing folio of Audubon prints as a gift when I graduated with my master's. I really really REALLY wanted to hang some of the prints in our apartment. Since I'm a huge bird nerd and husbando is only "eh" about the bird thing, I thought just getting one on the wall would be a battle. Luckily the prints are sufficiently rugged and manly to fill the "hunting lodge living room" fantasy Jam has (which btw, I fully support - I grew up in a house with a room decorated with duck decoys, people!). While my favorite print, the Baltimore Oriole, was passed over, Jam chose seven (YES SEVEN!) prints that he loved. Adorning our walls will be:

Mallards

Screech Owls

Louisiana Heron

Great Blue Heron

Carolina Parakeets

Blue-Winged Teal

Pileated Woodpeckers

Sadly, the Baltimore Orioles did not make the cut. They are quite lovely though, and will hopefully find a home somewhere else:

Of course, these vintage prints are 9"x12'', nearly impossible to frame on the cheap. I managed to find some decent frames on Amazon that were supposed to be 9x12, but must be some other odd shape, because they're too big for the prints. Ugh. The good thing is that I was messing around with some cream colored vellum and cut it to the frame size. The prints looked surprisingly good on top of the vellum, so I'll be going to Paper Source to pick up some more. For now we've solved that problem.

OK OK enough about that. Christmas is supposed to be my focus, right?! Christmas and decorating!

First up, we get to buy a tree this year! Thankfully neither one of us have pine tree allergies, so a live tree will be possible (oh and we have absolutely no place to store a fake one. that's ok though!). This means investing in lights and a tree stand. I hated LED lights when they first came out and loved the little "merry midget" twinkle lights. LED's though, are a better choice for your tree and for efficiency purposes. Dang! Luckily I found that LED strand lights have come a loooong way - while wandering through my local (and shiny new) Target (which I love because they converted an existing structure to a Target instead of mowing down a forest - CHAIN STORE WITH SLIGHTLY LESS GUILT!) I saw a display of Phillip's lights. I loved the soft, glowy faceted sphere lights in warm white:

If there's a tree, there has to be a tree skirt...and of course, I want to make one. I already bought my Moda Layer Cake Fruitcake thingamajig to make THIS:

Look at that gloriousness! And there's even a "20% off your whole purchase friends and family" sale at Joann's this weekend, so I can buy the rest of the fabric. Perfect!

Over the years, mostly because I've participated in freshlyblended's ornament swap, I've amassed a good deal of ornaments. Many come from trips as well. I think I might ask my mom for my egg ornaments this year as well, though it will feel weird! Every Christmas, my grandmother makes us a new faberge egg ornament for the tree. She has been doing this since our first Christmases, and this year I will have 29 (!) to hang on our tree's branches. I stole these from my sister's flickr so you can get an idea of what the heck I'm talking about:

I mean, there are tons more, those are just a few shots of some of the ones we have. They always come out looking garish with a flash, and you can barely get them to come out in photos without a flash - maybe this year I'll try and photo catalog mine with natural light, since we get amazing natural light coming in our windows in the afternoon.

Moving on - I'd love to pick up a few more ornaments. Of course I was totally sucked in by the safari theme that I'm seeing this year at places like Crate and Barrel and Anthropologie. C&B has the better deal. Would I shell out $32 for a set of ornaments? Um not normally. But look at the cuteness:

And since I'm all about all things Africa/all things Kenya, these are perfect. Plus I need this - we can put a wedding picture in it!:

Yay!

I think I even found a decent tree topper at Anthropologie. No, not the $400 woodland fantasy tree topper, the reasonably priced vintage-inspired star:

Very nice.

I'm still contemplating the whole candles-in-the-window thing. I love love LOVE the look, but am afraid it might look strange if just the second floor of our house sports candles. Maybe I'll wait and see if the neighbors do anything?

We'll also need some mini lights for our love tree:

And some sort of door decoration wreath thing would be lovely.
How about something a little less traditional and very DIY?:

Two thumbs up.

I know someday I'll amass the amount of decorations my mother now possesses and I'll be able to transform our home into a delightful wonderland of holiday cheer. For now though, I think we're doing OK, considering it's our first Christmas and all! Excitement!

Accepting the Occasional Lack of Martha-ness

2010-11-03T23:48:00.001-05:00

I like being a little Martha Stewart-y sometimes.

I give people homemade gifts - even if I think they're probably sick of them (sorry guys!)

I make Christmas cookies from scratch every year.

I like to quilt.

I am mocked by my husband, who explained tonight that for bake sales, they bought an Entemann's cake, cut it up and sold it by the slice, because "the kids wanted that more than any of the homemade stuff" (um hi TRANSFAT and cholesterol - my homemade stuff isn't exactly fat free, but have you looked on the back of an Entemann's box lately? sweet Jesus, that stuff is bad for you!)...but I digress.

Saturday is our church fair, and in the grand tradition of me try

ing to be perfect and having weird guilt about not pitching in to help out, I decided to answer the desperate call for "more cookies" by spending the night baking. I chose three elaborate recipes from the interwebs, and planned to make my famous sugar cookies in the shape of fall leaves, glazed with homemade confectionary glaze topped with fall leaf-appropriate colors....because that's how I roll.

You know what? I worked late tonight. I got f*cked over by some people on the left coast who sent me a document they wanted finished by the close of busine

ss (and yes, they totally understand that there's a 3-hour time difference, jerks). As I trudged out of work, I began to modify my plans. I'd buy three pre-packaged cookie mix

es and doctor them up, a cake mix, and then do just one elaborate, though advertised by Martha Stewart as "simple," cookie recipe, raspberry jam pastry cookies. YUM.

Oh, but I decided to clean the house first. Cause I'm crazy like that.

At 7:30, post-cleaning, pre-dinner, and starving, I decided to lay out my ingredients:

I tried not to dwell on the intense shame of pre-packaged ingredients....I had given up on making anything from scratch, even the simple cookie glaze. God, how LAZY!!!!

I got over it though, and ate 30 hershey kisses. Then I worked on melting some butter in a pyrex on the flame of my gas burner, cause we still haven't bothered to buy a microwave. Note the pyrex actually has the very words "Not for open flame or stovetop use" PRINTED on it. Note that I always take into consideration that the pyrex may shatter, covering my walls, stove, and maybe even me with hot melted butter and tiny shards of glass.....OK, moving on.

I didn't even get out the kitchen aid mixer last night. I was like "f*ck this, I am too tired" so I grabbed a whisk, even though manually mixing kinda goes against that "I'm so tired" thing. I made a few batches of cookies, called my dad to tell him that I wouldn't be coming over tomorrow with the goods, that I would leave them in the car when he came to fetch it (my brakes need addressing) along with the five Vera Bradley bags I was donating to the fair (yup, we're classy and have a Vera Bradley table). Around 9 I decided to eat dinner, spaghetti and two meatballs I bought already made at Shaw's. Fancy.

When I finished, I was ready for the piece de resistance, raspberry jam pastries, a seemingly innocuous recipe found here. I had read reader's comments and knew there was an issue with Jam firming in the freezer, the oven being to hot, the cutting process being

messy - I VOWED to outsmart every one of these cooking FAILURES! I turned down my oven, froze the assembled cookies for more than 30 minutes, then used the knife I bought from my neighbor the knife salesman (a deadly serrated Cutco that is so sharp I regularly slice the sponge in half while washing) to cut the pastry into 1/4" slices. SUCCESS! Because I didn't have any parchment paper, I used my silpat. Sh*t, I felt badass just having a silpat to use. Take that, Martha! I don't need your stupid parchment! I set my kitchen timer for the allotted time and worked on the dishes.

A few minutes later, all I had was this:

A glob of pastry/jam sticky messiness migrating across my one and only cookie sheet (my sister has the other one, grrr). I think I actually screamed because it looked so horrific. Then I was ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY because I could NOT bring these to the church fair - who would be dumb enough to buy them? And WTF Martha, I followed your recipe! Ohh....except the part about laying the cookies on their side to cook. Crap.

I ate most of the layers, then scraped the rest off the silpat, washed it, and went to bed. Not so subtle reminder that I am not Martha - but judging by how well my "from the box/bag" desserts came out, I guess I don't always need to be.

P to the S

2010-11-02T15:50:00.000-05:00

I'm doing NaBloPoMo again.

Like I said, it's a sickness :D

I love my hair!

2010-11-02T14:45:00.002-05:00

We're nowhere near having kids, but when we talk about it in that "our little biracial babies that will be born waaay waaaay in the future" type way, I feel simultaneously excited and panicked. Obviously the thought of being a mom is wildly exciting to me - I think I'd be pretty decent at it, I know Jamaal would be a fantastic dad, and um, hi, we have the most enthusiastic, awesome set of family and friends who would love the kid(s) to DEATH. Heck, my sister talks about spoiling my nieces and nephew, and she's not even related to them by blood!

The panic part actually isn't about being responsible for a tiny human - I'm sure being a first-time mother is completely overwhelming and even a little bit scary. What panics me a teeny bit is having a biracial baby. I totally skip the newborn and toddler years, fast forward straight to elementary when the kid comes home from school and wants to know why his or her skin color is different, why his or her hair is different, why the kids at school said XYZ to them. I mean, I'm sure I'll have answers, I'm sure Jamaal will have answers and we'll be able to soothe and reassure our child, but I worry: will my child see me as someone who can't relate to his or her problems because of my paleness, my different features, or because of my hair?

It's probably something to not worry about right now - at least, that's how Jam sees it. He is constantly reminding me how genes are funny and how it's impossible to know what our child will look like, what our child's complexion, eye color, or hair will even look like. People reassure us 'biracial children are beautiful!' I agree, but still, this nagging worry of being the "unrelate-able parent" sticks in my mind (and then of course, our kid will reach teenage-hood and just being a mother will make me unrelate-able lol).

Reassuring me right now are a couple of things. On our flight home from our honeymoon, I saw a news clip highlighting Sesame Street's newest music video, "I Love My Hair"- God love Sesame Street and their ability to tackle issues with song. Not only is this video adorable, it sends a great message to anyone with "hair situations" - and is geared towards black/biracial girls with naturally curly hair. I got all emotional when I watched it, thinking about how it's such a great self-esteem booster for little girls everywhere. Knowing that things like this will be around when my kids are little is very reassuring.

Then there are the forums -weddingbee.com proved to be a lovely, supportive community of (mostly) women during my wedding planning process. They've branched off into a "babies" board, and today (while looking for a hair produce for my own unruly mop) I found a post about styling biracial kids' hair. The women on the 'bee flocked to answer, sent product recommendations, websites, comments. Knowing that there's a community out there that will help a stranger is awesome. Which leads me to the internet - how did I worry about this so long and NOT google?! Via weddingbee and google, I found a TON of websites on biracial hair - information about products and styling, self-esteem when it comes to natural hair, etc. I even found a product line for mixed kids! It warms my heart to know (and gives me a swift kick in the ass as a reminder) that I won't be the first white mom going through this (duh) and that with the help of friends, family (though maybe not my mother in law, who told me about something terrifying called a "hot comb"!!) we'll totally handle any hair issues that come up. Anxiety relieved.

Of course, just by writing this post, you know the gods above have seen to it that I will produce only boys, right? Who won't have hair issues...who will probably just want fades like their dad....and all my anxiety will have been for naught...either that OR I'll have a daughter that has a different hair style for every day of the year. Oh my poor future children - your mom is already crazy :)

I wasn't going to do it...but....

2010-11-01T09:37:00.005-05:00

Now that we are coming down from the madness of wedding planning, I thought I'd sit and relax. "Slow down" our minister told us...well, me, specifically.

Not having the huge event that is a wedding hanging over my head is glorious. Jam asked me about the post-wedding blues over the weekend. Mainly because I was freaking out over my new haircut, and I think maybe he thought it was more post-wedding blues than anything else. Sadly, it really was about my haircut, and how it was not cute and curly and bouncy, like I hoped. Of course that was after air drying. Luckily it is adorable after serious time with the hair dryer. I guess I was hoping for something more fancy-free....but I digress.

Gloriousness of no wedding stuff - yeah, there's still wedding-related things that need to be done. I need to have my dress dry cleaned and preserved. I don't know why I'm doing this - OK well the dry cleaning makes sense, but the preserved thing? I don't even know if I'll have a daughter, and even if I do, she probably won't want to wear my dress. My tailor promised to make a christening gown out of it, and I can see the possibility of an heirloom christening gown more realistically than I see the possibility of an heirloom wedding gown. Plus my gown had a few customizations, like that fancy lace hem, and lots of beads and lace. Even if my daughter or daughter-in-law didn't want to wear my gown, maybe she'd want a piece of lace from it to wrap around her bouquet, or turn into a hair flower or veil? Maybe? Point is, I'm going to get it done.

We have thank you notes to write. About 100.

I have professional pics to email our venue for their blog. They came out so well! I am making weird faces in only about 5% of them, LOL:

We have to open a joint checking account and deposit wedding checks. Because guests are starting to wonder.....ooops!

Then there's the around the house stuff to do - we have decided to resurface the kitchen floor. I'm actually super-excited and simultaneously dreading this project. Why? Excited because the tile Jam picked is AWESOME. It will make our kitchen look super-classy and almost refined. It will flow nicely into the pantry, which Jam also resurfaced. Dreading because it is time-consuming, meticulous work. I'm a control freak. I don't want to be bossing my poor husband around while we do this, but he argues that because of sewing and quilting, I have the skills to cut and lay the tile evenly. I also don't want to let him down by laying crooked tile! I am sure this will work itself out. Besides assembling IKEA furniture, this will be our first big home improvement task together. YIKES!

THEN

There's the holiday stuff.

I have this insane list. It makes me giddy to think about staying in the house as it snows, cozied up with our radiators hissing, drinking some cocoa and crafting the sh*t out of every spare moment of my week and weekend. But then I think "NO I am falling into the vortex of holiday overplanning! I am planning on making everyone a handcrafted gift and have set myself up for ultimate failure! OH NOES!"

Right now though, it's November 1st. And I'm still optimistic, even though I'm already kind of in the vortex.

Firstly, I signed up for freshlyblended's ornament swap. I wasn't going to do it this year, even though I had been a participant from the get go. I found swap-bot really freakin' irritating. It seemed to attract flakers more-so than the old swap method, which was signing up via email. I felt like my signature ornaments had had their day in the sun and everyone was so over them:

and whenever I considered making something new, I was uninspired. I put the swap out of my mind.....until I read freshlyblended's post about getting off swap-bot, going back to the old way, etc. I got all nostalgic for some mini mittens. I found yarn. I felt inspired. Today I signed up.

It's a sickness, lol.

Tomorrow, I plot out the rest of my holiday crafts. Let...the...madness.......BEGIN!!!!!!!!

Update!

2010-10-27T09:04:00.003-05:00

Job update!

I did not have to go rogue!

I did not have to quit my job!

Funding was denied.

Great for me - ok, not so great, but good.

This means that everything is going to stay the same for the moment, and I have to opportunity to pitch my ideas again. I'm attending a huge meeting tomorrow - so huge, Jamaal actually helped me rehearse for it last night - and while decisions may not get made at this meeting, it's going to get the ball rolling, and it could mean that things

might start going my way in a good way, soon. Let's hope!

Meanwhile:

Honeymoon pic!

Mini-Vent

2010-10-21T10:43:00.003-05:00

OK so I just need a mini-vent here.

The wedding. OMG. FAN-FRIGGIN-TASTIC.

The day was everything I hoped for and more.

But.

In planning for the big day, other shizznit got ignored completely....

Stuff like:

Laundry

Housework

Organization

All other craftiness

Fitness

Cooking (and therefore healthy eating)

and

to a certain extent,

My J-O-B

Ugh.

Overall, working here is good. Great benefits, love the work my institution is doing. But my actual job? I think my old boss is unintentionally sabotaging it. Basically, I have been doing the work of three people for about a year and a half now. The fact that this is unmanageable (unless I want to work 80 hour weeks) came to a head a few weeks ago. Old boss promised to figure things out while I was away. She came to me today with a solution. It's bad. I don't think it will work. It made me want to abandon ship. I'm not sure what to do because no matter how many ways I try to tell her that this is a BAD PLAN (and imagine those words in bright red blinky lights) she keeps saying "well. I think it's ok. let's wait and see!"

I have four options, in my view:

1. deal and go on and let everything self-destruct; clean up pieces in a few months

2. go rogue and do it my way anyways. I might get in trouble later, but it would be for the benefit of the project, and it would show that I did what I thought was best

3. go over old boss's head to the doctors (new bosses) - problem is, they hardly make a move without her OK and it will get back to old boss

4. start looking for a job

None are great options to me. Though I have to admit, I kind of want to go rogue. I'm not too afraid of getting into trouble. Well that's a lie, I'm not afraid to get into trouble with old boss. I definitely won't get into trouble with new bosses, because they'll just be happy to have to work done....I'm afraid of getting in trouble with the HBIC. That would kinda blow.

Ick.

In other news, I'm trying to channel my focus on catching up with other work things and that list of junk I've been ignoring. I'm so out of shape, I haven't eaten a decent serving of vegetables in weeks, and the only fruit I've had lately has been blended with a healthy portion of rum, LOL.

Our apartment is exploding with clothes (90% clean!) and wedding gifts and wedding stuff, mail, dust, bird seed, etc. Scary thing is, my sister cleaned our apartment while we were away! There's a whole other layer of chaos under her cleaning though, and that's what I want to get through. At least with the other stuff, I feel very very optimistic. That's good, right?!

Also, I can't tell you how happy I am to be able to focus on crafty fun that does not involve the wedding. The wedding craftiness was worth every (sometimes agonizing) minute invested, but, am I sad it's over? HELLS NO!

EE your gay quilt may be finished before your 30th bday after all!!

Back, Calm, Lovely

2010-10-20T11:27:00.010-05:00

Helloooo world!

I am back from a fantabulous wedding and honeymoon.

We pulled it off.

The day was perfect, loving, heartfelt, and FUN.

The dance floor looked like a club.

Everyone looked beautiful.

Everyone was happy!

And then we got to go on an all-inclusive vacation to Jamaica.

BLISS!

Be back for more blogging soon :)

PS: I even finished the shoes!

T minus 18 insane days

2010-09-21T09:20:00.002-05:00

So the wedding fast approaches!

I won't bore you with the crap I haven't finished...

but I will bore you with the things I have fantasized about in the past day in order to avoid dwelling on unfinished wedding things (or my chest cold, or my sudden gastro-intestinal distress...tragic, but well timed, because no one wants to be worried about (as my mom calls it) "running to the bathroom" in a wedding dress!)

Fantasies:

1. going to some random, rural locale in the Rockies with Jam where it's quiet and we don't know anyone. We find a quiet spot, near a creek, dip our toes in the water and have a picnic. Thanks a billion "Enjoying the Small Things" for putting that fantasy in my head!

2. Spending some time on a farm

3. Crocheting a blanket while snowed in, not moving from the couch except to pee and eat until it's finished

4. Making an apple pie (not an unreasonable fantasy, but no time)

5. Hiking/camping - ESCAPING! This actually might be possible, if I can convince the Jamonster. The subaru has a fixed muffler and I know this campsite in Western Mass....hmmm.

But yeah. I'm looking for some escapism I guess, but there is no time to be fantasizing! There is work to be done! I have menus to print! Escort cards to design! I must focus.....

....now the Grand Tetons must be lovely in the fall........

argh!

2010-09-17T06:15:00.000-05:00

If one more flipping person tells me how our wedding is fast approaching and that I should "breathe and enjoy the day"...
I might have to strangle them! OMG!!!!

Foster Parrots

2010-09-02T13:06:00.005-05:00

Most of you four or five readers (tee hee) know that I used to volunteer EVERY Saturday at a local parrot shelter. I know I mentioned that they moved to a wonderful facility in Rhode Island so they can set up a better "habitat" for the birds and care for even more abandoned/abused exotic animals. This means I only visit the sanctuary about once a year...which is sad, though pet-sitting for the directors helps me get my animal fix!

Apparently a project is in the works for FP and the PR person needed photos of birds that are "striking." He asked me to send him some thing and I thought "ugh, all I have is CRAP" but to be nice, I sent him what I thought were my "best," including this shot of Jane Goodall from the Grand Opening of the sanctuary:

The other photos were exclusively birds...and while looking at them I realized that 1. I am a halfway decent self-taught photographer 2. I love birds because they exude so much personality. People hate on birds - you hear it all the time. They cringe and say "why would I have a bird when I can have a dog?" or "birds freak me out" - whatever, birds are pretty damn awesome and SMART. Not that I don't totally love dogs, want a dog, and think most dogs are smart, it's just that science has proven that large long-lived birds are smart in terms of animal smartness - think monkey and dolphin smart, think toddler-smart. The birds at FP do everything from let themselves out of cages that I probably couldn't let myself out of, talk and say things in context (ie one of the "bad birdies" calling a volunteer a "f*cking c*nt" in frustration....we were shocked and horrified....then laughed) to learning how to manipulate people into getting what they want. Seriously! These creatures have big big personalities....I wish more people loved them as much as I and all the FP folk do:

My Sister's Tumblr

2010-09-01T09:41:00.002-05:00

My sister has a rockin' tumblr page that makes me JEALOUS. I want a tumblr page too! I already blog too much at work though. Eek.

Anywho, she has a great Indiana Jones tumblr up.

It's funny because docking the boat at our grandparent's (Bear Island, Lake Winnipesaukee, sometimes big waves) can be the most dramatica thing ever when there are whitecaps and a stiff north wind. This weekend I took a flying leap out of the boat and watched it drift a little further and further away from the dock. Now I have a hard time remembering that it's a boat, and unlike a car, you have a ton of leeway for maneuvering and backing up and trying a re-approach is not really a big deal - it's not a car that you risk running off the road. Anyways, in my panic, I meet my dad's eyes and say "THROW ME THE ROPE!!!!!!" which he threw, two-handed at me, like a poisonous snake. Looking back, it must've been the most insane boat docking of all time. Luckily my sister has the ability to see the hilarity in just about any situation. She gets out of the boat and says "Gimme the whip! Throw me the idol!!!!" Of course I follow up with "Adios, Dr. Jones....mwhahahahahahahhahha"

We could be a traveling comedy show, I swear.

Still Moving

2010-08-31T14:25:00.003-05:00

I can't wait to post pics of our apartment here.

But alas, it's still being unpacked piece by piece.

It's coming together though - the craft pantry? OMG, it's like a dream come true. I have what is described as a "super-legit" craft space. EEEK!

Other things - like where to unpack and put our clothes - well they're coming along at a snail's pace, LOL. My clothes are strewn about in two differe

nt rooms in multiple different bags and suitcases. DISORDER.

Lucky for us, we bought a bedroom set yesterday. Jam had scoped it out over the weekend and liked it, and I went in for the second view. After two nights of sleeping on an air mattress (yes I know that is nothing - but I am getting old and I'm a lightweight when it comes to sleep comfort and I have sciatica people!) I was ready to buy just about anything, but luckily we found something we both really liked, a queen-sized bed with d

rawer storage. We bought two dressers and a mirror as well (llllurve) and I'm looking forward to getting all our stuff put away. While we do actually have an embarrassing amount of clothes, we don't have a TON of storage. Ironic because we have a pantry and about a million cabinets in the kitchen - not so in the bedrooms. There's a bootleg closet someone built, but the built-in closet that came with the bedroom is this odd 2'x2'x2' triangl

e....which really threw them off of the room-planning scheme at the furniture store. Oh well, all is good now, we'll have tons of storage. Jam is worried a

bout TV placement, but I have assured him that we c

an put it on top of his dresser and we'll be fine.

Why his dresser?

Well. The hummingbird tray needs a home after all :)

I was so pleased to see it unwrapped and out of storage. I felt like Royal Tenenbaum did when he finally tracked down his beloved javelina: "There you are!"

Heh heh.

But I Need You to Know

2010-08-26T07:53:00.004-05:00

That for every sad or heartbreaking memory I have of Africa, there are about a bizillion happy, beautiful, humorous, awe-inspiring memories....memories of "the first elephant," memories of happy little kids playing games with us at the school, field research, getting drunk in back of beyond little towns and stumbling home or to the cars, finding the most beautiful place on earth and having the "perfect day, standing over the "cradle of civilization," our safari vehicles breaking down, endless references to "The Lion King" and "Jurassic Park," inside jokes like "Science Camp," and of course, the wonderful wonderful staff that was like a second family to all of us:

Otieno

Maraka

Mboya

Featured last is Salaash. He is one of the most special people I know. He loves nature and all animals. He loves animals so much that he fought off a leopard that was taking down his livestock, one animal at a time. Yeah, I said leopard. Did I mention that he did this with a stick and his bare hands? Believe it. He has the scars and the detailed story to prove it. He took us to his homestead once to meet his family and to show us his bird-feeding station. He took us hiking in the Ngong Hills and snuck us into Kitengela so we could buy bootleg CD's (E-Sir's album. He had just died in a traffic accident, his talented life cut tragically short, so his albums were hot stuff). He loved birds and sometimes reminded me of one - especially when he was spinning around in the pool at Ngulia Lodge singing to himself. He was so proud that by the time I got back to Kenya in '06, he had learned how to swim. Salaash was in charge of getting us "home" in one piece when we had food poisoning, an agonizing 5 or 6 hour drive. He patiently pulled over whenever we had to hurl, while pointing out random herds of bovines. I remember my friend Rachel throwing up on the side of the road while Salaash yelled "Oryx!! ORYX!" When I was sick, Salaash drove, Kioko brought me juice, and Otieno brought me tea. They were my second family.

The funny thing is, when I went back in '06, they were all stunned I remembered them. Our lives were so intimately intertwined when we lived at the camps. The staff were our link to the outside world and we needed them for just about everything, from killing poisonous snakes in the middle of the night to hospital runs when we got sick or hurt to translating to getting us goods from Nairobi when we ran out of something. How could we ever forget them? I guess people must though...I remember Damaris, the secretary at one of the camps, kissed me when I said her name. "You remember me?!" she asked, incredulous. "You let me use the internet to email home so my friend could register me for college classes!" I exclaimed. I do not forget the smallest of small things....which in turn means that even the smallest victories or joys or happinesses or celebrations or humorous moments will never, ever, be overshadowed by the struggle, the sadness, or strife.

Oh, did I mention that I can't wait to go back??! Someday.

Africa Post

2010-08-20T08:31:00.002-05:00

Today I remembered something.

I was in a hospital in Oloitokitok, in the back of beyond, in a pediatric unit.

It was filled with burned little kids. There were other kids with other problems too, but most of them were burned. The room was small. It was unsanitary, highly unsanitary for kids with severe burns. It smelled. There were flies. Some of the beds did not have sheets. I don't want anyone to think I'm sitting here saying that the doctors and nurses did not care, that they were not making the best of what supplies and resources they had. They cared very much about their patients. There were just not enough supplies, not enough staff - just not enough.

I read this boy a Berenstain Bear's book, one of the few children's books we kept at our field camp.

The only swahili words I could say to make him understand were "mama, baba, toto, toto" I would point to Mama Bear, Papa Bear, Brother Bear and Sister Bear and he would whisper the swahili words as I pointed.

This day was more than seven years ago, and today it just dawned on me that I have not the slightest notion of what happened to that burned boy. No clue. Did he live? Die? Die of burns? Die of infection? Does he have bad scars? Was he disabled because of his injuries? No idea.

Jam makes fun of me because he says if I ever win one of those multi-million dollar lotteries I'd be broke from giving all the money away. He's almost right - I'd make sure we'd have enough to live on. But I would go back to Oloitokitok and build a hospital - a decent, clean, sustainable hospital. With a burn unit, with a TB ward that wasn't corrugated plastic huts in the back yard. I think that's what I'd do first.

From Penn Museum's photostream.